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Sound of knocking on door

BRIDGET

It's open.

CHRISSY

Ta-daaa!

BRIDGET

Chrissy!! You're early. Come in, come in!

BRIDGET and CHRISSY

Twinnies!

CHRISSY

Oh Bridget, darling, it's lovely to see you.

BRIDGET

And you, Chrissy.

How was your flight?

CHRISSY

Great, but can you believe it, they lost my luggage.

BRIDGET

Incredible.

Oh Chrissy, look at you. You never change. You're still a teenager.

CHRISSY

Oh, didn't we have fun then.

BRIDGET

Yeah, at school.

CHRISSY

"It wasn't me Miss, it was Bridget!"

BRIDGET

"It wasn't me Miss, it was Chrissy!"

We shared everything.

CHRISSY

Yes, we did.

"He loves me."

BRIDGET

"No, he loves me, me, me!"

Anyway, here we are now.

CHRISSY

Bridget, do you have some clothes I could borrow? I travelled in this dress. I need something more comfortable.

BRIDGET

Something like this? I bought two for the price of one.

CHRISSY

Bridget, this looks really good.

BRIDGET

Great.

HECTOR



Sorry, I can't exercise. I've hurt my back.

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]

Why, Hector. You are so muscular.

HECTOR



Oh, thanks. How is your Mum?

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]

She is such a good friend. She really understands me.

HECTOR



But I thought that...

NICK

It's OK. I'm here. Where's the emergency?

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]

Well, hello, Nick, the actor.

Ooh, I love doctors.

Sound of telephone ringing

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]

Excuse me. Hello?

Hello, Mummy.

NICK

This is it! Women love doctors. Bridget can't resist me.

HECTOR



Really?

NICK

Hey, darling, come to Nick.

CHRISSY

See you soon, Mummy. Love you lots. Bye!

So Doctor, where were we?

Ooh, I think I have a temperature.

NICK

Madam, I think I can help. Tell me where it hurts.

ANNIE

Hi, Hector!

Hi, Nick!

Hi, Bridget!

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]

Annie, darling! How are you? Doesn't Nick look good as a doctor?

ANNIE

Yes, he looks very, very good.

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]

Now you must excuse me, I must do my make-up.

NICK

Ooooh!

BRIDGET

Guess what? My twin sister Chrissy has arrived from Australia.

She lost her luggage, so she has borrowed my clothes.

NICK

That's it! Women love doctors!

Today I practised for a part as a doctor and Bridget couldn't resist me!

HECTOR



Bridget is in a really strange mood today. A moment ago, she said that her mother was her best friend.

ANNIE

So?

HECTOR



But an hour ago, she said that her mother treated her like a baby. I am confused.

NICK

I wonder what Bridget was like when she was younger.

HECTOR



I wonder what Annie was like.

ANNIE

I wonder what Nick was like.

Nick?

NICK

Huh! I know what Hector was like.

Anyway, I must continue rehearsing as Doctor Jessop, especially as Bridget loves doctors so much. Aha!

Sound of door slamming

ANNIE

Ohhh! Nick only likes Bridget, Bridget, Bridget.

BRIDGET

Am I interrupting?

ANNIE

No.

HECTOR



Yes.

BRIDGET

Excuse me!

ANNIE

But why? Nick never notices me. Ohhh! And he looks so handsome in his doctor's coat.

HECTOR



Really?

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]

Aha! Sweet!

ANNIE

But I thought that …

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]

… Your faces!

Are you two … ?

ANNIE

No!

HECTOR



Yes.

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]

Aw, but you look so nice together.

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]

So Hector, are you and Annie dating?

HECTOR



Well...

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]

Come on, Hector.

You can tell me. It's not a problem.

HECTOR



Really?

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]

Really.

HECTOR



OK. I really like Annie.

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]

Go on.

HECTOR



But she doesn't notice me.

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]

Well, ask her on a date.

HECTOR



Well, should I? OK.

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]

Oh, and Hector, when I was at the airport today, I found this magazine.

HECTOR



Airport?

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]

Is this you?

Are you this rich boy, Hector?

HECTOR



Yeah, but please, don't tell Annie.

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]

Oh, you want her to like you, not your money.

HECTOR



Yeah.

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]

That is so sweet.

Well, don't you worry. Your secret is safe with me.

HECTOR



Oh, thanks.

Banging noise

HECTOR and NICK

Oh –ow-ow!!

HECTOR



Bridget is in a really good mood today!

NICK

Really? Gre-at!

Hi!

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]

Hi, Nick darling, or Dr Jessop.

Would you help me?

NICK

Sure.

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]

Would you move this exercise bike to give me more space?

NICK

Sure.

Yeah. Eeyahh!

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]

Oh, you're so strong.

NICK

I need a drink.

Would you like one?

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]

Yes, please.

NICK

Aha! Bridget, darling. Have you finished, because now we can make a little sweet music of our own, darling.

BRIDGET

In your dreams, Nick.

NICK

Huh?

BRIDGET

Who moved my bike?

NICK

I did, because you...

BRIDGET

Well, move it back then - if you're strong enough.

HECTOR



Aha!

HECTOR



Dr Romero, at your service.

ANNIE

Ooh, hello!

Oh, Hector, you look great! Oh, I love doctors.

BRIDGET

Oh, Hector you look great!

Oh, I love doctors.

ANNIE

I’m fed up – Nick only likes Bridget! Bridget! Bridget!

But dear Hector comforts me, he is so kind.

And Bridget is in a strange mood today.

First she said, [“Am I interrupting?”] then two minutes later she said, [“Sweet!”]

It’s like two different people!

NICK

First she asked me to move her bike: ["Would you move this exercise bike to give me more space?"] then one minute later, she told me to put it back again: ["Who moved my bike?"]

Huh!

Women!

HECTOR



Hi, Annie.

ANNIE

Oh, hi, Hector.

Hector, think of a card.

HECTOR



OK, ace of diamonds.

ANNIE

No, don't tell me.

HECTOR



Annie?

ANNIE

Yes, Hector?

HECTOR



I have something to ask you.

ANNIE

Yes, Hector?

HECTOR



The thing is, do you like to come to the cinema tomorrow night with me?

ANNIE

Pardon?

HECTOR



Would you like to come to the cinema tomorrow night - with me?

ANNIE

Oh, well, yes, I'd like to.

HECTOR



OK. See you then.

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]

So Annie, did Hector ask you out?

ANNIE

To the cinema, yes. Do you want to come?

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]

Of course not!

Have a great time!

ANNIE

I wonder which film we should see.

BRIDGET

When?

ANNIE

When I go to the cinema with Hector, of course.

BRIDGET

What? You and Hector are going to the cinema?

I don't believe it.

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]

Phew, I'm starving! Hmm! These are my favourite biscuits.

I think there are some good films on now, Annie.

BRIDGET

All the films are rubbish at the moment anyway. I'm starving. Ecchh!

I hate these biscuits.

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]

Now I must phone the airport.

ANNIE

Ohhhh!

CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget]

What is it, Annie?

ANNIE

I don't understand.

If you are there, then who is in the bathroom?

What?!!

BRIDGET

What? Ahhhhhhhh!

Annie, what are you doing?

ANNIE

But you're, you're … !

BRIDGET

… Twins.

ANNIE

Bridget, I didn’t know!

BRIDGET

This is my twin sister Chrissy.

Didn't I tell you about her?

ANNIE

Ahh! Now I understand. So Nick and Hector don't know that you are twins.

BRIDGET

No, I don't think so.

You know, we could have some fun with this …

ANNIE

Maybe a magic trick?

Hector! Nick! Come in!

You are just in time to see my new magic trick. Take a seat.

HECTOR



Wow, I can't wait.

ANNIE

Ladies and gentlemen. Oh, just gentlemen.

Today I will make my lovely assistant Bridget disappear!

Enter, Bridget!

Sound of drum roll

NICK and HECTOR

Whoo-whoooo! Whoo-whoooo!

ANNIE

OK, Bridget, in you go.

Bridget. Bridget!

I will make Bridget disappear from this box and appear in this box.

NICK

Oh, this I must see.

ANNIE

Now a tap with the magic wand.

NICK and HECTOR

Hey! Hey!

ANNIE

Which means that the first box is empty.

NICK and HECTOR

Whooo! Hey!

ANNIE

Bridget, you are moving quickly today.

Let's just check that the other box is empty.

HECTOR



Hey!

She's going round the back.

ANNIE

OK, gentlemen, place your bets, please.

Which box do you think Bridget is in?

NICK

The box on the left.

HECTOR



No, no, the box on the right.

ANNIE

OK. Let's see.

A drum roll, please.

Sound of drum roll

ANNIE

Gentlemen, applause, please, for Bridget and Chrissy! Oh, I think there's something wrong with the audience. Is there a doctor in the house?

BRIDGET

Bye, Chrissy, come back again!

CHRISSY

I will, I promise. Bye, Bridget.

BRIDGET

Oh, Chrissy, I'll miss you. Oh! She forgot her magazine.

What?!

It can't be!

It is!

It's Hector!

COMMENTARY [v.o.]

Next time in EXTRA, Hector helps build some new shelves, Nick helps build some new shelves, and what happens when the landlady's cousin comes to stay? EXTRA, don't miss it.

 

Episode 8

Narrative

ANNIE [Reading note]

"Dear Tenants, my cousin, your landlady, is on holiday this week, so I am in charge. The same rules apply: no pets, no parties, no visitors, especially boys. Yours, Eunice Mountain."

Eunice Mountain? She sounds terrible! Worse than the tarantula.

BRIDGET

If that’s possible.

ANNIE

Do you think she’ll say no shelves?

BRIDGET

She can't. They'll look fantastic. "The timber shelves in clear lacquered beech veneer with six castors and a TV bench."

ANNIE

Ooh! Now, where shall we begin?

BRIDGET

Annie, it's easy. Rule number one: always read the instructions first.

ANNIE

Well, that will only take a week.

BRIDGET

OK, let's have a drink before we begin. Milk, Annie?

ANNIE

Yes, please.

BRIDGET

“I owe you, Nick.”

There! Well, no milk. Would you like some sparkling water?

ANNIE

Right.

BRIDGET

"I owe you, Nick." "I owe you, Nick." "I owe you, Nick!" How dare he? Aha!

Would you like some cola?

NICK

Thanks, Bridget, I was looking for that.

BRIDGET

Nick!

NICK

Huh? Sorry.

BRIDGET

Add it to the list.

Or ask your flat mate to buy your food.

NICK

Huh? Wow!

BRIDGET

You didn't know Hector was rich?

NICK

No.

BRIDGET

I'll speak to you later!

HECTOR



Wow, what are all these boxes?

ANNIE

Our new shelves, Hector.

HECTOR



I can help you build them. Where are the instructions?

NICK

Hector, my friend, rule number one: never read the instructions.

ANNIE

Ohhh, I see you have a note from our new landlady then.

BRIDGET

Eunice Mountain!

NICK

Eunice Mountain. I bet she's the same size. [Sound of intercom buzzing] Hello? It's Eunice Mountain. Who am I? I'm Nick, from Flat B. Oh, you want Flat A? This is... [Sound of intercom buzzing] Hello? Yes, this is Flat A. Yes, I am Nick from Flat B. Yes, I know this isn't my flat.

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

I want to see you downstairs - now!

NICK

Sorry. OK. Right away.

BRIDGET

Well?

NICK

Eunice Mountain wants to see me downstairs now.

HECTOR



Oh, bad luck, man.

ANNIE

Oh dear.

BRIDGET

Ask her if she has any milk, bread and biscuits.

NICK

Ha-ha..

ANNIE

OK, so: "First open box A and take out shelf number 1."

BRIDGET

But which is box A?

HECTOR



This is box C.

ANNIE

And I've got box D.

HECTOR



Ah, I've got it. This is shelf number 1.

ANNIE

No, Hector. This is shelf number 1.

BRIDGET

No, this is shelf number 1.

ANNIE

Oh, this is a nightmare.

HECTOR



OK, Annie, read out the instructions.

ANNIE [Reading instructions]

"Put shelf 1 against the wall."

Hector, I think the books will fall off.


Date: 2015-12-24; view: 501


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