Sound of eggs being beaten
BRIDGET
[Clears throat]
NICK
Wow!
BRIDGET
OK, Nick?!
NICK
Yeah.
Hot.
The soup, hot.
HECTOR
Ah-ah-ah-ah.
The soup is hot.
NICK
Thank you Hector.
Sound of knocking on door
BRIDGET
He’s here.
Good evening Howard.
HOWARD
Ah Bridget, my princess!
BRIDGET
Please come in.
HOWARD
Bridget, you look divine.
Oh, this must be An-nie.
Are you sisters?
Such beauty!
Laughter
HOWARD
The dresses are exquisite!
ANNIE
Oh …
BRIDGET and ANNIE
… Thank you.
BRIDGET
Thank you.
HOWARD
Don’t thank me, it’s a privilege!
ANNIE
Oh and this of course is Nick.
NICK
Hi.
BRIDGET
And this is Hector.
He’s from Argentina.
HECTOR
Hello.
HOWARD
Argentina.
Do you have a cow?
HECTOR
Two million!
HOWARD
What?
HECTOR
My parents own two million cows.
BRIDGET
Ah yes, thank you Hector.
Hector’s English is a little …
HOWARD
Weird!
Never mind, ‘Ector.
HOWARD
So Bridget [ooh] what a beautiful apartment, for a beautiful lady.
Banging noise
HECTOR
Dinner is served!
NICK
Hector, go on!
HECTOR
Today, we have sick pea soup.
HOWARD
Mmm, sick pea soup, my favourite!
BRIDGET
Chick pea, chick pea!
HECTOR
[Erm] Chick pea soup.
HOWARD
[Laughing]
This guy is great!
Where did you find him?!
Sick pea soup! [Laughs]
Mind you, it does look like – ugh! [Laughs]
Sorry Nick!
HECTOR
Main course.
Teeth casserole.
HOWARD
Teeth casserole?
BRIDGET
Beef, beef.
HECTOR
Oh sorry, beef casserole!
HOWARD
I bet the beef is as hard as teeth!
[Laughs]
A dinner with bite!
Oh! Sorry, Nick!
So Bridget, you would like a better job?
BRIDGET
Well Howard, I, I …
HOWARD
Are you willing to work harder, hah?
HOWARD
You stupid idiot!
HECTOR
Sorry, erm … !
HOWARD
And Bridget, with your good looks …
NICK
What a creep!
HOWARD
Ay! It’s cold!
‘Ector!
I want hot coffee!
HECTOR
He wants hot coffee.
NICK
Then he will have hot coffee!
HOWARD
So – by the age of twenty [snoring noise] I had fifty people working for me.
BRIDGET
Fascinating!
HOWARD
My father said [snoring noise] – if you want more money, you must work hard!
HOWARD
Ay!
You have poisoned me!
You fool, you stupid boy!
ANNIE
Stupid!
BRIDGET
Don’t you dare talk to my friend Hector like that!
HOWARD
Oh, what is he?
Is he your boyfriend or something?!
BRIDGET
He is –
A kind and clever and lovely man, which is something that you will never, ever be!
So you can keep your job, you creep!
ANNIE
And we’ll send you back the dresses!
HOWARD
What dresses?
BRIDGET
Oh, these dresses, the ones you bought Annie and me!
HOWARD
I did not buy those dresses.
I would not spend money on you!
Hah!
BRIDGET
Goodbye Howard!
HOWARD
You’ve lost your job!
BRIDGET
Well too late, I quit!!
Sound of door slamming/applause
NICK
Howard said he did not buy the dresses.
So who did?
BRIDGET
If ‘H’ isn’t for Howard?
ANNIE
Then ‘H’ is for Hector!
BRIDGET
You, but why did you buy the dresses?
HECTOR
To say thank you.
BRIDGET
But they’re so expensive.
Where did you get the money?
NICK
[Clears throat]
HECTOR
I – found it.
ANNIE
Well, these expensive dresses must go back to the shop.
ANNIE
Yes they must!
But not until tomorrow.
ANNIE
That’s right, let’s go clubbing!
Come on, Nick! Hector!
BRIDGET
See you later, boys!
NICK
Hector, you are a true, true friend.
Money is not everything.
So, what did you buy me?
HECTOR
What do you think?
NICK
I love you, I love you!
HECTOR
Hmm!
One moment.
NICK
You didn’t buy me a bike, you didn’t buy me a bike, you didn’t buy me a bike.
You didn’t buy me a bike.
HECTOR
OK!
NICK
Thanks, Hector.
It’s really, really …
HECTOR
It’s OK Nick.
NICK
Hop on, I’ll give you a lift.
HECTOR
Hey …
NICK
Hey, so do you still want to be a waiter?
HECTOR
No, I want to be like you, Nick, a stunt man!
NICK and HECTOR
Aaah!!
COMMENTARY [v.o.]
Next time in EXTRA!
Nick gets a job on TV.
Annie loves watching TV.
And why does Hector want to learn to cook?
EXTRA – don’t miss it!
Episode 5
Narrative
Date: 2015-12-24; view: 621
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