Chapter Twenty-Three 7 page

“The Kiss of Madness?”

“She can break a person’s mind with a single kiss, mortal or immortal. Her king tried to use the kiss against her, to punish her when she sexually abused one of his lovers.”

I had known that Lucrezia liked her sex spiced with pain. For decades with Renata, our lovemaking was often the intermingling of pleasure and pain, her dominant will eliciting my total surrender. Yet, I hesitated to compare Renata’s desires with Lucrezia’s. In a sense, Lucrezia’s idea of sex wasn’t sex at all. Torture and rape seem more appropriate terms in regard to Lucrezia’s style.

I fought the shudder that started at the base of my spine. The memory of Lucrezia’s hands was one I longed to forget.

“Renata refused to allow Lucrezia to take a lover among the Rosso Lussuria, didn’t she?”

Vasco’s brows went up a fraction. “Sì,” he said and I realized he was impressed that I’d come to the conclusion all on my own. In a way, so was I. “Renata banned Lucrezia from ever taking a lover as a result of her…bedroom manners.”

“Or lack thereof,” I added dryly. “Why did Renata agree to allow Lucrezia to join the clan in the first place?” It was incredibly rare for a clan to accept a vampire that had been sired by another, most especially one that had never originally belonged or been sired among the clan. “Why was Lucrezia not declared Il Deboli?”

“I would say that our Queen took pity on her but fear that would be a lie,” he said. “It was not pity that motivated the Queen.”

“It was a political move,” I said, “another vampire to add to her ranks?”

“Sì, Lucrezia was another powerful vampire to bind to the clan.”

“I would’ve sent her back the way she came,” I said. “I would have declared her Il Deboli.”

“Truly?” he asked, searching my face. Declaring Lucrezia Il Deboli was a death sentence. Contrary to popular belief, vampires did not thrive well in cities. We preferred to keep to ourselves and lived our lives separate from that of the humans. The only time vampires ventured out into the city was when they were hunting prey or when they were the prey.

“Yes, truly. Lucrezia’s as mad as a hatter. I would not invite that into my clan unless I was absolutely confident I could control it.”

Vasco’s face erupted in a grin. “Your mind is getting better at court politics, bellezza. You just answered your own question. Once Lucrezia began to surface out of her madness, she agreed to swear blood oath to Renata. We agreed to spare her life thinking that her power would discourage any that threatened the security of our clan. We thought we could control her.”

“I would have had her executed. That’s what happens when you live so long, Vasco. A few centuries of immortality and the arrogance starts going to your head.”

“I never thought I would see the night when you would be both ruthless and practical. I think it is more than just our Queen who has underestimated you.”

“I don’t think it is ruthless, Vasco. I think it’s practical, yes. If a thing proves to be dangerous one night I will not wake the next expecting that its nature has completely changed.” I fixed him with a hard stare. “If Lucrezia was mad when she showed up on the Queen’s doorstep, why risk it?”

“Because power is an important thing to our kind. Surely you know that by now. Lucrezia narrowly averted slipping into the madness inspired by her master’s kiss. When she showed up, she should have been completely taken by it. As it was, she only had bouts of it, and until her mind was healed, Renata kept her under lock and key.”

I shook my head again. “I find it hard to believe Lucrezia’s mind ever fully healed, Vasco.”

The look in his eyes was sad, so terribly sad. “So do I.”

I changed the subject. “What did Renata do to Gaspare tonight, Vasco? What did she do that put that prideful step in your walk and satisfied smile upon your lips?”

“The Queen dismissed you for a reason. I am your friend, Epiphany, but I am no fool to go against my Queen’s orders. If she wishes you to know, then she will tell you.”

“No,” I said, unable to keep the anger out of my words, “you are no fool to go against your Queen’s orders.” I looked at him and knew the vacancy in my eyes did not match the heat of my tone. “If the Queen had not appointed you as my protector, would you have befriended me, Vasco?”

“I, like you, keep to myself. I will not lie to you, Epiphany, because you are my friend, and I value our friendship more than you know. If our Queen had not bid me to watch you, to protect you, then I would have continued to keep to myself.”

And there was the truth. If Renata had not told Vasco to protect me, he would never have befriended me. I stood abruptly, giving him my back. I was afraid that I couldn’t hide the hurt and resentment I felt.

The weight of his hand fell on my shoulder, and though I stiffened, I made no move to shake him off.

“It would have been my loss, colombina. You are a wonderful friend,” he said. “You are la sorella del mia spirito.”

“If you don’t want me to think that what you just said could potentially be some Italian insult,” I gave him a very displeased look, “then you should repeat yourself in a language I understand.”

“You are the sister of my spirit,” he said. “You are the sister of my mind and heart, and I would have regretted never knowing you.”

“Well,” I said, sparing him a sidelong glance, “that’s good to know.”

He took a step that brought us facing each other and sank to the carpeted floor on his knees. “I ask your forgiveness, Epiphany, my sister.”

I touched his serpentine braids with their thread of silver, like stars and blackness intertwined. I exhaled deeply, not finding it in my heart to be angry at the one person, the one vampire, who had ever truly been my friend.

“I forgive you, my brother.”

“It seems I am interrupting.” It wasn’t the words that made my blood run cold. It was the veil of threat the words held that made me drop my hand from Vasco’s braids.

The smell of sweet metallic blood flooded my senses before I saw her. Renata’s body was covered in blood like she’d just about bathed in it. The blue velvet of her gown was black with it. The long waves of her hair were matted and clumped.

The fact that most of the blood was on her body, rather than in it, meant that her purpose had been to cause someone a great deal of pain.

She had tortured Gaspare in front of the Elders. She had used him as an example, as a well sent message. A reclamation of her power, as it was.

It is time to remind the Rosso Lussuria of what their Queen is capable of.

Staring into her eyes framed by the mask of drying blood, I had no doubts that she had indeed reminded the Elders of what she was capable of.

Even so, even knowing what she was capable of, I found myself wanting to cross the room, wanting to go to her, yearning to drop to my knees and lick the crimson patches from her moonlit skin.

“Did you execute him?” I asked and my voice was calm, giving away no hint of my desire or thoughts.

“No.” She stepped into the room and her gaze flicked to where Vasco knelt. She gave him a dangerous look that made me tense and uneasy.

“Renata.” I moved to bring her attention back to me. “There is no reason to be angry with Vasco. He has done nothing wrong.”

She gave me a look as cold as winter’s silent fury. “I told you to stay out of my head.”

I took another step forward and sank to my knees. “Please,” I whispered.

“Please what, Epiphany?”

“Please do not turn your power and anger on Vasco.”

I looked up at her then.

Renata gave a slow blink, her expression sliding into something calmer and more calculating.

“Vasco,” she said.

“Yes, my lady?”

“You are dismissed.”

Vasco stood without question and went. The doors shut with a quiet click behind him.

She said my name and I rose to take the hand she held out. She turned me, pulling me in against her.

Too close, too close to the smell of the blood. Too close to the intoxicating smell of her skin.

My vision blurred as my eyelashes fluttered.

“Epiphany.” Her lips brushed my ear and I fought the anticipation that ran through my body. Her hand trailed a path down my stomach, summoning a tremble of remembrance and longing from deep within me.

I went to my knees, catching her hand and feeling the drying blood on her skin. I raised it to my mouth and pressed a feather soft kiss against the tips of her fingers.

She caressed my lower lip and I opened to her, taking the taste of blood and flesh into my mouth.

I rose up high on my knees as another of her bloodstained fingers slipped past my lips. I sucked, locking my mouth at the base and licking it clean.

Her calm expression never wavered. Her hand twisted in my hair, twining the tresses until her grip was tight. A moan escaped me, but I did not stop. I had endured far rougher play than this. I set my tongue against her skin, licking up her hand, across her knuckles.

She pulled me back, holding me at bay while her eyes held me captive.

“Is this what you want?” she asked, using her other hand to unlace the stays of her dress. She began peeling it down her body.

The blood had soaked through the velvet and to her white skin below.

I made a strangled sound. “Yes.”

I had spent enough years as her pet to know what she expected of me.

With her fist balled in my hair at the back of my scalp, I drew the dress down her body. She used the grip she had to guide my mouth across her skin and I let her. Where my lips brushed, my tongue flicked out, until the red was white once more, until the rich coppery taste of blood and sweet-salt taste of her skin coated my mouth like some delectable wine. She led me off my knees, guiding my mouth to her breast. I sucked, drawing her nipple lightly between my teeth and setting the tips of my fangs to glide dangerously close to piercing her tender flesh.

Her grip tightened and I whimpered in submission.

Renata pushed me down on the bed until I was sitting. She propped one long leg on the edge of it. Obediently, I tucked my legs under me, rising enough to kiss the mound of flesh between her thighs.

I parted her with my tongue. Her wet skin was like some silken fruit against my lips. The tip of my tongue found her opening and I pushed against her, hands anchored at her hips, and slipping as much of myself as I could inside her.

My name was a strangled cry as she gave a fierce jerk that sent my scalp to tingling. “Stop teasing.”

Wordlessly, I gave a nod of compliance. She allowed me to seal my lips over her again and I licked and sucked until her body went rigid and a cry of pleasure announced my victory and her defeat.

“Epiphany,” she said in a voice that smoldered with pleasure and amusement at the same time. She steered me to face the bed.

I knew what she wanted. I leaned over and placed my palms on the gray blanket. The movement brought my buttocks up against her. She raised my dress up over my hips. Her hands lingered before slipping past the line of satin to caress my bare skin. I quivered as she parted me.

“You’re wet,” she said, tracing the swollen flesh between my legs.

“Yes,” I gasped as she circled my clit with an expert touch.

She released my curls, trailing her nails down the back of my neck. Her fingers dipped lower and she pierced me, rough and sudden. I cried out, clawing the coverlet.

“Mmm, yes,” she said, flicking her wrist until I made a sound that was half-moan, half-whimper. “Very wet. Wet enough.”

“For?”

I heard her steps leading across the room before the sounds of the heavy armoire doors were flung open. I didn’t turn to look to see what she was retrieving. If I turned to look while we played such a game, she would use it as a reason to punish me. I remembered them well, the games we once played.

She returned with a strand of black silken rope and used it to bind my wrists.

While she was tying the knots she glanced at me. “I would do a karada”—she squeezed my bound hands—“but that would take more rope and more time than I’ve the patience for.”

I trembled with remembrance. A karada is a diamond shaped body weave, a rope harness that travels from the neck, between the buttocks and legs, and up the length of one’s back and torso. It’s a type of Kinbaku, Japanese erotic bondage. It sounds simple until one sees the many different types of weaves and patterns. It is one of the great erotic arts.

A karada does not restrain the submissive. It fits snugly to the body and gives one the feeling of being trapped without the actuality of it. There are ways to tie knots in places that would make a less conventional woman than I blush. Amongst other things, Renata had always been very proficient when it came to ropes. I had not forgotten that and found myself a little disappointed that so little a length of rope would be involved. It had been a long time since she had truly bound me.

“You look a bit crestfallen, cara mia.” Her eyes glistened deviously in the candlelight. She traced the line of my brow. “There will be other nights.”

“What are you going to do with me?” I asked.

The smile she gave was full of pleasant confidence. She moved, trailing her hand up my arm and across my shoulder. She stopped behind me and I felt her nails tickle over the fabric of the dress. She bowed her body over mine, pressing the stiff length of an ivory olisbos against my buttocks.

“Epiphany,” she said in a voice that was light and playful.

A muscle in my jaw twitched. I clenched my teeth together while she rubbed her toy against me.

“I kept this,” she whispered, hands slipping over my hips and to my stomach, “just for you, cara mia.”

Her hands swept across my breasts and I balled my hands, clutching the coverlet in my fists. She caught the neckline of the gown and pulled, tearing the front so that my breasts spilled free.

“Much better,” she said, pinching my erect nipples hard enough that I gasped.

She gave a low and throaty laugh.

“Up,” she said and I obeyed, crawling onto the bed.

When I didn’t put my cheek against the mattress and rise like I knew she wanted me to, she grabbed a handful of my hair and pressed me down herself.

Once, for the simple adoration of her reaction, I used to feign defiance. True defiance she would not tolerate, and it was not in my nature to be defiant where she was concerned, but feigned defiance fanned a fire in her that left me breathless and panting. It was a way of challenging her to push my mind further, to ride my body harder. I did it then, forcing her hand, giving her no other option but to pin me to the bed.

In all of her dominance, Renata was positively magnificent.

Her hand that was capable of such tenderness was also a promise of cold strength.

“You do remember how I like you to do this, don’t you?” she asked, both of us knowing I knew what she expected.

A vibration of anticipation whipped down my spine.

“Yes.”

“Then do it,” she said, and my body jerked with the force of her hands tearing the back of the dress open.

The cool air kissed my skin. Her long nails moved down my back, over the thick line of fabric bunched at my waist.

This time, I expected the movement and held myself against the force of my lesser garments being wrenched off.

Renata took me by the hips, pressing the end of the olisbos against me. She played the tip over me until she parted me and was able to slip past my opening and to my clit. I cried out then, surprise and pleasure sprinkled with just the right amount of humiliation I at once hated and had longed to endure at her hands again.

Her hips rocked slightly, causing just enough friction between my legs that my breath grew eager and shallow.

She shifted and pressed against my opening, working slowly inside me. Her body bowed over mine and I felt her breath at the back of my neck. Her lips trailed a path down my spine, hands resting at my hips. She made no move to penetrate me further, only sheathed inside me and sheltered my body with the weight of hers. A second later, I felt her cool fingers tracing the scars engraved between my shoulder blades.

When I felt her rise, I remained passive, waiting. Her breath eased out in a sigh. “Oh, Piph,” she said. I writhed as she pulled out. Something heavy hit the floor and I knew it was the olisbos. Her arms circled my waist.

“Come here,” she said, and I followed her hands as she pulled me to sit with her on the bed. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. “Come here.” Her long arms enfolded me. “I’m sorry,” she whispered against my hair.

I froze, uncertain how to react. “What are you apologizing for?”

“For making you feel like you meant less to me than you ever really did.” She touched the scars at my back with the tips of her fingers. I moved and she let me go. The dress was still bunched at my waist and I stood, tugging it down past my knees and kicking it carelessly to the floor. I crawled back onto the bed.

“I know,” I said, sensing the truth behind her words. “But why did you stop? Just to apologize?”

Her bowed mouth curled slightly. “Because,” she said, hands steadying me as I climbed onto her lap, “I desired a better view.”

I looked at her and searched for the meaning beyond her words. I touched her cheek. “That’s not all,” I said. “You stopped because some part of you cannot bear to look at it.”

Her smile wilted. She buried a hand in my hair and brought our faces close enough that her breath caressed my lips. She placed the flat of her palm over the scarred flesh and her skin was warm.

“No,” she said, “it is not all. I do not enjoy gazing upon Lucrezia’s handiwork, especially not on your body.” She was silent for several moments. “I can heal you.”

“How?” I asked.

“I made you. Two hundred years ago, when you died you woke to the call of my power. My power is the life in your veins. You doubt me, why?”

“I do not doubt your power, Renata. I have never doubted your power.”

“But still, you do not trust me?” she asked. “A hundred and fifty years ago you would not have questioned me.”

“Trust once broken is not so easily mended.”

She nodded, loosening her grip. Her fingers played over the skin of my back. “Fair enough. Then what would you have of me? What will help you to trust me again?”

The question caught me off guard. Time was the obvious answer, but what I said aloud was, “You can tell me how you would heal me.”

The look she gave me was almost sad enough to be worthy of Vasco. “In a way in which you will not enjoy.”

“And what way is that?”

Cuinn chose that moment to startle me so thoroughly that I actually jumped where I sat in her lap.

Renata gave me a strange look.

What your Queen is not telling ye is that she needs your blood to heal it.

But it can be done? I asked him.

Aye, if you’re willing to pay for it in blood.

“And what does the little fox say?” She didn’t sound exactly happy that Cuinn was eavesdropping again. I couldn’t really blame her. He’d been so quiet for so long that I’d thought he’d well and truly gone to sleep, or at the least, out of my head.

“You need my blood to heal it.”

“That is only partial truth,” she said. “What is true is that I will have to remake the wound in the same way it was created.”

I surprised us both by saying, “So be it.”

Chapter Fourteen

Renata cut the binds at my wrists first, and while she did, her thoughts seemed far away. I realized that as much as I didn’t want the wounds reopened, Renata didn’t particularly care to be the one re-inflicting them. The knowledge surprised me a little.

When my wrists were free of the silken cord I spoke. “You do not seem very eager to do what you are about to do.”

“I am not.”

I touched her cheek, caught her attention enough that she stopped to look at me. “Then why did you offer?”

“It is what needs to be done,” she said and her tone was so very matter-of-fact that it made me try to sense the emotions behind her words.

She caught my wrist in her hand. “Epiphany,” she said, “stop trying to read me.”

“If you would but tell me then I would not have to try and read you.”

Her chest fell in a quick sigh. “You were more right than you know when you said I could not bear to look at it,” she said. “I cannot, not only because it is a mark on your shining body, but because it is a mark that is not mine. Do you understand, Epiphany? Do you see how selfish your Queen truly is?” she asked, unflinching.

“I do not think that you are as selfish as you wish others to believe, my Queen.”

“I thought you naive once, Epiphany, but you were never naive, not really. You were different, yes. Beneath the surface, your desires ran darker than others, is all. Do you think you were naive when first you came to me?”

“No.”

She clasped my smaller hands in hers. Her long, tapered fingers twined with mine. For a moment, she stared at our entwined hands. “Do you want me to hurt you?”

“The way Lucrezia did?” I kept my voice as even and mild as I could make it.

She inclined her head.

“No,” I said. “What Lucrezia did to me is not a pain I wish to remember. Though suffering at your hands is a great deal better than having to endure her attention ever again.”

“But you like pain,” Renata said. The corner of her mouth rose on one side. “Considerably more than either of us reckoned, I think. Don’t you agree?”

“Yes, but you were right when you said I would not enjoy this.”

She raised our entwined fingers, brushing her lips across the side of my hand. “I will try to make it as pleasurable and as painless as I possibly can.”

“I know.”

“Lie down on your stomach, Epiphany.”

I moved to lay with my cheek resting against the mound of pillows. Renata climbed on top of me, using her knees to hold her body off mine. She swept my tangled hair to the side and I closed my eyes, focusing on finding some still and quiet place within. Instead, I found myself listening to Cuinn.

Ye might as well just accept that it’s gonna hurt.

Words of comfort I’ll accept, but reminding me of what I already know is only irritating, Cuinn.

Cuinn gave a little snort and grumbled, Someone woke up on the wrong side of the coffin.

Renata’s warm hands moved down the sides of my torso. “You’re tensing. It will hurt far worse if you do not relax.”

I let out a long, unnecessary breath and tried to relax, one muscle at a time. The back of her fingers swept across the base of my spine. I knew that the knife she’d used to cut the bindings was somewhere in the bed, hidden within the folds of the coverlet. In essence, it wasn’t so different from the things we’d done before.

Then again, it was.

Renata had cut me up a little in the bedroom, but never had she cut me simply for the sake of causing pain. It had never been the raping of flesh that it had been with Lucrezia. Renata never forced me to surrender. I surrendered to her ways of my own free will.

It made all the difference, or should have, but the memories of Lucrezia’s voice at my ear, the feel of her silver blade sinking into my skin as she carved her art into my back pushed against the surface of my mind.

So many years ago and still it haunted me. It was not Renata that bothered me, nor was it necessarily the fact that she was going to reopen the wounds in order to heal the scar, but the memories of Lucrezia’s hands made me feel nauseous and unsettled.

I looked forward to the reminder of such abuse being erased.

What I did not enjoy was dealing with the memories that were resurfacing, tightening my body in fear and making my limbs stiff.

“What is wrong, Epiphany?”

“I don’t think I’m going to relax.”

“It is not so different than the things we once did together.” I turned my face enough to look at her. It was a little too close to what I had just been thinking.

“Now who is in whose head?” I asked.

Her hands swept distractingly over the back of my left hip. “I am not Lucrezia, Epiphany. You know that. I do not gain pleasure from pain alone.”

“I know,” I said. It was true. Oh, she enjoyed my pain, but only because I enjoyed it.

She bent, pressing her lips against my shoulder. “Then why are you unable to rest?”

I closed my eyes, blocking out the darkened curve of her splendidly arched brows and the twin blue jewel-like fragments that glistened beneath them. “I cannot help but remember, Renata.”

“Yes, you can,” she said. “You have but to let go and make a new memory with me, Epiphany.”

“I have many memories of you. None of them have tainted my soul in such a way as Lucrezia’s hands.”

“Shh,” she said, “Think of me.”

I tried. Her mouth worked at my shoulder, lips parting as her breath eased out, cool and warm against my skin. The soft fullness of her lips marked a path like falling rose petals down my body. Her hands cupped my buttocks. Only then did I turn as much as the position would allow to look at her. Her mouth sealed around my flesh, her fangs threatening to pierce me.

I ground my hips into the mattress and she bit down until my skin broke beneath the pressure. I gave a strangled sound as I felt her mouth sucking at the wound.

Her fingers traced my thighs and I opened to her. She stroked my clit, back and forth, allowing it to catch on her skin before dipping into my wetness and spreading it like salve. I groaned as she traced me. Her jaw cinched tighter, until I rose up off the bed, groaning.

Satisfied, she withdrew, catching the languorous flow of my blood with a sweep of her tongue.

Her hands slipped under my hips as she raised me. I rose to my knees, using my elbows to support the weight of my upper body. She inclined her head, settling her mouth between my legs. She pulled me against her lips like my body was a chalice she would drink from.

I sank into the feel of her mouth. The tip of her tongue circled me, curling like a wave dancing over me. I moaned, spine lengthening in pleasure. Renata sucked harder, hard enough that her teeth dug into me. Her tongue flicked and the muscles in my abdomen went firm as her tongue sent shockwaves of ecstasy through me.

She was quick…so terribly quick. I didn’t even feel her move. The tip of the blade pricked the scarred tissue, parting my skin. With my mind still fogged by the aftermath of pleasure, it took a moment for my body to register the pain. When it did, I automatically hissed and tried to crawl out from under her. Renata drove her knee into my back, using her strength to pin me to the mattress. I expected the second cut and the expectation made it all the worse. My body tensed, and with the pain stinging like a thousand bees against my skin, I cried out.

Renata pressed her hands against the X-shaped cut and my entire body grew rigid. The pain was so intense that it stole the scream that built in my lungs and held it trapped in my throat. Her hands burned like sunlight.

Somewhere, distantly, as if the pain had detached me from my body I heard my own strained voice pleading with her to stop.

It was worse than what Lucrezia had done to me. Even while she’d drawn her dagger as achingly slowly as she possibly could across my skin, this was by far worse.

The pain spread like a phoenix bursting against my back, traveling up my spine, down my spine, through my limbs like a fire that threatened to eat me alive.

Then, it was no longer flame, no longer heat, but a cold more terrible than Sognare’s vision. Then, I did scream.

Gradually, the cold began to ease from something fierce and biting to something soothing and cool. I was left gasping.

Her fingers swept the damp curls from my face. “Epiphany?”

I turned my head, realizing I’d been smothering my face with the black velvet pillow. If I had been human, would I have passed out? Would I have unintentionally suffocated myself?

I didn’t make a move to roll onto my back, which ached more with the memory of pain than the actual pain itself. My entire body was dewed with sweat, as if I had broken a fever.

I found my voice and it was raw and hoarse. I wondered how much screaming I’d actually done.

“That hurt like bloody hell,” I said, realizing the words didn’t quite convey the agony of the experience.

“I know,” she said, laying down beside me. “I told you the healing would come at a price.”

Aye, that she did, Cuinn said, sounding somewhat disturbed.

I ignored him, touching a strand of Renata’s still matted waves.

“You kept your word,” I said, almost idly while I tried to push the memory of the pain aside. “You tried to distract me.”

“As much as I could.” She played with my hair, coiling it around her fingers. “The endorphins, even for a vampire, make the pain a great deal less than what it would have been.”

Date: 2015-12-24; view: 625