The Land of The Midnight Sun 7 page

It was so like Bear to ask. She felt her nervousness dissolve like sugar in water, and she smiled

at him in the darkness. “Yes,” she said simply.

She slid her arms around him. Her cheek against his chest, she felt his heart beat. It was as

steady and as gentle as waves in the ocean. She felt the curve of his shoulder blades as his arms

surrounded her. His hands covered half her back, cradling her. She burrowed against his bare chest.

Leaning down, he kissed her neck.

Her skin tingled as he kissed her, and all thoughts ran out of her head. She felt the chill of the ice

room, the warmth of his breath, and the touch of his hands. It was all that existed in the world.

Around them, the ice was silent.

CHAPTER 14

Latitude 91° 00’ 00” N

Longitude indeterminate

Altitude 15 ft.

Cassie clutched the exquisitely carved ice toilet. Dammit, not again. For more than three months

now, she’d endured random waves of nausea. Every time she thought she was well again, it reared its

ugly… Uh-oh. She gritted her teeth as her stomach rose into her throat, tasting like rotten peanuts.

Sweat pricked her forehead.

Bear padded into the bathroom. “Cassie, are you all right?”

She spat into the toilet. Her throat burned. “Ow.”

Cassie leaned her head against the rim of the crystalline bowl. It was smooth and cool. “I’m

never eating again,” she said. Clearly, she’d had too many magical feasts. She had a potbelly now that

pressed against the elastic waist of her pants.

Bear touched her damp hair with his nose. “Breathe deeply. Fighting it will only make it worse.”

She felt his hot breath on her scalp. It made her itch.

“Stop hovering.” Like shooing a fly, she swatted the air in front of him.

“It will pass soon.”

“It better.” Oh, too much motion—her insides flopped, and she felt for the toilet. Her stomach

squeezed as if it were ejecting a lung. Empty, she collapsed backward. “Can’t you magic me?

Transform my sick molecules?”

“I do not wish to interfere,” he said. “Your body is reacting naturally.”

“Reacting normally for botulism.”

Bear blinked his glassy black eyes at her. “You are joking. You must know the cause of this—

your daily nausea, your changing shape.”

Cassie clung to the ice rim of the toilet. When he put it that way… But no, she’d been careful.

She’d been smart. “I can’t be. It’s not possible.”

“Because of the chemical imbalance?” Lying down, he curled around her like a giant cat and laid

his head on her lap, as if to reassure her. “I know. I fixed it. All is well now.”

“You fixed it?” Cassie felt dizzy. She was… no. She tried to remember her last period and

couldn’t.

“It was simple. All I needed to do was adjust the hormone levels,” he said, clear pride in his

voice. “It was no harder than keeping your body warm or protecting you in the Arctic water.”

Cassie threw herself forward and vomited with all her strength, as if she could expel the fetus

inside her. Bile scratched her throat, and she sank backward again, diaphragm sore from pushing. She

dug her fingernails into her curved stomach. She sucked in, but it would not flatten. It was as firm as a

muscle.

He’d retreated from her as she’d vomited, and he now stood beside her, casting a massive

shadow over her. “Are you… You are not happy?”

“How could you do this to me?” He had deliberately altered her molecules to impregnate her

without asking her, without telling her. “That ‘chemical imbalance’ was deliberate. I’m on the pill.”

“Deliberate? You caused…? But how…,” he said. He swung his head low, an agitated polar

bear. “You were willing. I asked if you were certain. You said you were. I thought you understood.”

She felt like she was drowning. His words drowned her. “You knew from the beginning: I must have

children. This was the reason I sought a wife. There must be more munaqsri. This child—a future

munaqsri—is desperately needed.”

“I thought you…” She felt as if her insides were shaking so hard that they’d fly apart. “I thought

you loved me. For me. Not for…”

“I do love you,” he said. “You are my tuvaaqan, my wife, the mother of my—”

“You used me,” she said. “You didn’t even ask me. You just… ‘fixed’ me.” She had trusted him.

She had believed they were a team.

He padded closer to her. “We are going to have a baby,” he said. “We are going to bring life

into the world. Do you not see how wonderful it is?”

“Just… leave me alone.” Cassie pushed his chest, hands sinking into fur, and he backed out of

the bathroom. She shut the door in his face and locked it. Back against the door, she slid to the floor.

Her nausea threatened like a tidal wave. She wanted to rip her internal organs out of her. Heart

included.

Through the door, he said, “I love you.”

She retched on the floor and then cried.

He had to reverse what he had done. It was that simple. He could manipulate her molecules; he

could fix this. Ice crunched under Cassie’s mukluks as she walked through the topiary garden. If he

could fix a “chemical imbalance” and keep her warm in the Arctic, he could put everything back the

way it had been.

She found him between the rosebushes. Facing the permanent sun, he did not turn as she came up

behind him. She swallowed a lump in her throat. He could do it, yes. But would he? She didn’t know.

She felt as if he had turned into a stranger, hidden behind black eyes and cream fur. Looking down,

she studied the roses. Amber and violet in the low sun, each petal and leaf twinkled with Bear’s

reflection.

“You shot at me,” he said. “Do you remember? You shot at me with your tranquilizer gun, and I

still married you. Did you ever wonder why?”

She hadn’t, until now.

“Because you shot at me. Because you chased me, before you knew what I was, before I dared

reveal myself to you. You were so stubborn, so single-minded, so strong. Without a second’s thought,

you risked your life chasing me, all for your work, for your father, for his station, and for the polar

bears,” Bear said. She stared at him, but he wasn’t finished. “And afterward? You were so

courageous that you would marry a beast to save a woman you had never met. So great-hearted that

you could care about a ‘freak of nature.’ So intelligent that you could be my partner, my teammate, my

tuvaaqan. These are the reasons I love you. It is not because of your ovaries or chromosomes; it is

because I know, out of all the world, that you are my match.”

Cassie lifted her hand toward him. She wanted to bury her fingers in his fur and press her face

against his neck. But she stopped an inch short of touching him. She desperately wanted to believe

him. She’d thought he was her match too. She’d thought he was her tuvaaqan. Maybe he still was. It

could all be a misunderstanding. “If it’s me you love, then take this creature out of me,” she said.

He shook his heavy head. “You do not know what you are asking,” he said. “It is not a

‘creature.’”

Who knew what kind of thing was growing inside her? It wasn’t human; it was half-munaqsri.

Thanks to Bear’s “quirks,” she didn’t know what that meant. She hugged her arms across her chest.

“How can I believe you? You won’t even let me see you.” For the first time in months, she wondered

what the darkness hid from her.

“It is a child, and the world needs it.” He turned to face her. “Once you understand how

important this child is, you will be as happy as I am. You have to trust me. All will be well. Give it

time. You will see.”

Cassie tried to read his inscrutable bear eyes, but all she saw was her own reflection, distorted

to a reverse hourglass. “How pregnant am I?”

“You are due in the fall, after the equinox.”

He’d known for at least three months. Months! He must have “Fixed” her during the polar bear

birth season, maybe even the first time they’d slept together. She felt sick and dizzy all over again.

He’d lied to her. He’d used her.

“You will be a mother,” he said. “We will have our own miracle.”

She didn’t know how to be a mother. “I am too young to have a baby,” she said.

“And I suppose I am too old?” He looked out across the ice fields. In a soft sad voice, he said,

“I had believed this would make you as happy as it has made me. Perhaps I deluded myself. I had

hoped… once it was real, inside you, you would be happy.”

She had been happy. She’d been happy with everything exactly as it was, or as she’d thought it

was. “You were wrong.”

“I did not intentionally hurt you. You know I would never do that. I am not some monster,

Cassie. You know me.”

Wind rustled the ice leaves. Cassie shivered, and the sun continued to circle the horizon.

You know me. Clutching the sheets to her chin, Cassie listened to him breathe. She felt a tight

ache inside her chest. Did she know him? She’d thought she did. But now… Had he truly used her, or

was it all a misunderstanding, as he’d said? Was he the man she thought he was? Was he a man at all?

Loud, her heart beat staccato as she knelt on the mattress. She cupped her hand over the

flashlight. She had a right to know who he truly was and what was inside her, didn’t she?

She switched on the light. Her hand, covering the beam, glowed pink. Bear was now a shape in

the semidarkness. She saw his chest rise and fall. Gathering her courage, she pointed the flashlight

toward the ceiling and removed her hand. The beam hit the ice canopy, and light reflected in a

thousand directions. Rainbows swirled over the bed.

And she saw Bear.

Like a polar bear, his skin was black and his hair was creamy white. The flashlight shook in her

hand, and the beam danced over his muscles. He was beautiful, as perfect and as ageless as a

Michelangelo statue. Looking at him, she could not breathe.

He looked like an angel, or a god.

She wanted to touch him and feel his familiar skin and know this godlike creature was her Bear.

Now that she had her wish, she didn’t know what it meant that he was so beautiful. Seeing him did not

answer anything.

She wanted to breathe him in and swallow him whole. She wanted to wrap herself around him.

She wanted to feel he was real with every inch of her skin. Leaning over him, she brushed his lips

with hers. Bear opened his eyes. “Cassie, no!”

Cassie dropped the flashlight. It hit her thigh and fell to the floor. Shadows spread across Bear,

the bed, and the room. “Ow! Bear, don’t do that!”

From the floor, the flashlight cast giant shadows on the ice walls. Bear’s shadow stretched as he

pulled himself to full height. Instinctively, she flinched. He looked like an angry god. “I told you

never to look at me. You should have trusted me!”

Rising to her knees, she put her hands on her hips. “Trust you?”

As quickly as it had come, the anger seemed to drain out of him. He sank down on the bed and

put his face in his hands. “Oh, Cassie.”

Disconcerted, she opened and shut her mouth. He seemed truly upset. But what was so terrible

about her looking at him? He was beautiful. He was perfect.

“Cassie, my Cassie.” He raised his head. He looked like he was going to cry. What was wrong?

He cupped her cheek in his palm. The look in his eyes… Wow, she was looking into his eyes. His

human eyes. His hand was warm and soft on her cheek.

“Bear?” she said uncertainly. She didn’t like the look in his eyes, that lost look.

She felt mist touch her skin. She brushed her arm automatically, but it was dry. He released her

face and took her hand. He ran his thumb over her fingers, pausing on her ring finger. “I have to leave

you now,” he said.

He had to what?

Clearly, she’d heard him wrong. She looked at his expression, and she felt her heart squeeze.

She hadn’t heard him wrong. She started to shake her head. He couldn’t leave!

“Please, listen, Cassie,” he said before she could speak. “It was the bargain to free your mother.

You could never see my human face. Or know the reason why you could not. Cassie, it was the only

way to free your mother. It was the only way to marry you.”

“You and your stupid bargains.” She tried to sound cold and angry but her voice betrayed her.

“Did you expect me to be telepathic?” She was blinking furiously now. Oh, God, what had he

promised? What had he risked? What had she done?

Bear said as if quoting something, “All ties between us are snapped, and I must marry the troll

princess.”

She shook his shoulders. “You are not leaving,” she said. She was crying. She knew it and she

couldn’t stop it. This was absurd. Troll princess! “I will not let the trolls take you.”

“That’s my Cassie.” He buried his fingers in her hair. “But you cannot fight this. I must keep my

promise. It is the price of being a munaqsri.” She heard rustling like wind in leaves.

“You are not leaving,” she said even more fiercely.

He pressed his lips on her forehead. “Take care of our baby.”

“I’m not letting you go.” The false wind snapped her hair. It whooshed between them and circled

around them.

“No choice,” he said. “It has already begun.”

Dammit, no! She was not losing him! “Then I’m coming with you!”

“You cannot.”

“Then I’ll follow!”

He shook his head sadly. “I will be taken to the castle that is east of the sun and west of the

moon. You cannot follow me there. It is beyond the ends of the earth.”

“I’ll find you.” Sheets fluttered around them like breaking waves.

Bear gripped her. “No! It is too dangerous.”

“Not for me,” she said. “I find polar bears, remember? It’s what I do.” She’d chased him once;

she’d chase him again.

The tide of wind was a roar, and Bear had to shout, “You will die before you reach it! Promise

me you will not try!”

“I will find you!” She was not losing him. Not now, not like this.

Swarming faster, the water-wind swept Bear off the bed. He hung in the air like an angel

ascending. “If you love me, let me go. Please, Cassie, keep yourself safe, keep our baby safe.”

She jumped to her feet and wrapped her arms around his waist. “No!”

“Cassie, promise me! Think of the baby!”

She didn’t want a baby; she wanted him! She couldn’t lose him! Pulled upward, he slipped

through her arms. She squeezed his knees as the wind lifted him higher. His head reached the canopy,

and the ice melted around him like meringue. His shoulders passed through it, then his chest, his

waist, his thighs. Cassie’s head hit the canopy—solid. “No! Come back!” His knees slipped through

her arms. She clutched his ankles. “No!”

He disappeared through the canopy, and Cassie fell. She bounced on the silken sheets, and her

head smacked backward into the bedpost.

Everything went black.

PART 2

Date: 2015-12-18; view: 631