Chapter 15: Fifteen

Notes:

Warning for (nearly) attempted suicide.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

X

Harry was standing silently outside Draco's door, waiting for Narcissa to leave so he could talk to the boy alone.

After the werewolf had bitten Draco, the horrified Death Eaters had left the scene, whispering hurriedly amongst themselves when they thought the Dark Lord was out of sight. Harry had been able to see them fine though, and the looks of disgust mingled with their horror, sickened Harry. The looks they were throwing Draco, failing in their attempts to be discreet, were filled with contempt that hadn't been there before.

The two that had remained behind, Rabastan and Rodolphus Lestrange if Harry remembered correctly, had been the ones who were left to take Draco inside, and they simply dragged him in like he was an animal to them, and Rodolphus was his uncle; he would have thought family would be accepting.

The way they had all treated Draco since he had been bitten, even in such a short space of time, proved how prejudiced people were and how much Draco would be rejected from society, though that was doubtlessly what Voldemort wanted.

That was why, however, Harry wanted to talk to Draco; to prove he wouldn't be completely alone and shunned because of his new condition.

The door opened and Narcissa Malfoy stepped outside, her hands linked together tightly; nail marks were evident on the backs of her hands.

"He's ready to talk to you," the woman said hoarsely, and she kept her eyes downcast. She opened her mouth to say something once more, and then shut it, acting the opposite of her usual aristocratic persona.

She stalked away without another word, and Harry thought he heard a sob as the woman rounded the corner; he just hoped she was upset because of how her son would be treated, rather than because of the bite.

Harry stepped through the doorway to where Narcissa had just been. The room was completely bare, and housed only a small metal bed. There were no windows, but that wasn't stopping Draco from staring at the wall longingly as if he could see through.

He appeared well enough, though his left shoulder was wrapped up. As Harry neared the bed, he could see the boy's form shaking slightly, though not in the usual way such as when one was cold or scared.

"Why are you here?" Draco asked, not turning to look at Harry. "Have you come to mock me?"

"Why would I do that?" Harry said gently, stopping as he reached the bed. It was such un-like Malfoy quality and style, and it was no wonder he could feel Draco's discomfort.

The Slytherin finally turned to face him, and Harry tried not to show shock as he saw that Draco's normally grey eyes were now a shocking yellowy amber colour. The boy stood shakily from the bed, his bitten arm hanging limply by his side.

"Surely you'll want to brag that you warned me and I chose to ignore you; look where that got me," Draco growled, swinging his good arm and punching a hole through the wall. Draco made a half laughing, half sobbing noise as he stared at the hole. "Look at me! I'm a monster."

Harry debated whether to hug Draco or something, but decided against it in the end. "You're not a monster," Harry assured him instead, watching as the other tensed. "Even if you turn into a wolf at the full moon, with the Wolfsbane you're basically a human trapped inside a wolf, and even if you didn't have it, the wolf would be the one in charge, not you."

Harry was making sure to avoid any words such as monster, freak or beast.

"You think so, do you?" Draco snarled, and with inhuman speed he had Harry pinned against the wall, hand clutched in his shirt and face so close Harry could feel the spit hitting him. "If I'm no monster, then why is everyone treating me like vermin? Why is my own mother afraid to look me in the eyes?"

Draco seemed to change completely at those words, and he released Harry, dropping to the floor and burying his face in his hands. His shoulders started to shake violently as the boy finally broke down.

Harry dropped down beside him, this time not hesitating as he wrapped his arms around Draco; he needed to know there would be at least one person who wasn't afraid of him. The fact Malfoy hadn't shrugged him off and seemed to relish in the comfort suggested he really had needed it.

"My whole life is over," Draco continued, eyes flashing in anger. "I'm worse than anyone; Muggles, Mud-bloods. I'm going to be outcast from everything I ever knew; my friends are going to turn on me-"

"If they turn on you they weren't good friends to begin with," Harry interrupted. "When my dad and godfather found out Remus was a wizard, they accepted him as he was and helped him in every way possible."

"Well they were Blood-traitors anyway," Draco snarled, but frowning afterwards. "I had so much planned; Father arranged me a marriage with Astoria Greengrass, and she was actually likable, but this will destroy the contract, and who else would marry a beast?"

"Lots of people would; not everyone cares," Harry said, knowing it was basically a lie, and Draco knew that too.

"People do care," Draco insisted, "you and your family aren't normal."

"Well maybe you need to find more unusual people then," Harry suggested. "Luna certainly wouldn't care. I hate to say this, but Ron, Neville and Hermione were protesting when Remus had to leave because of his Lycanthropy. People like us do exist."

Draco had stopped sobbing, and pulled away from Harry, not as rough as Harry imagined he would have.

"I'd rather be alone than befriend Longbottom and his fan club," he said with a sneer, glancing at Harry. "I suppose you and Lovegood are bearable enough if I need company."

"I'm glad to hear that," Harry said somewhat sarcastically. To his surprise Draco looked like he was about to cry again.

"I guess I'll have to work on my attitude, now that I'm not the perfect Pure-blood son anymore," the blond admitted woefully. "Especially when you and Luna are likely the only people I can stand who will be willing to treat me like normal. Did Riddle know what would happen?"

"Yes," Harry answered truthfully, "but he didn't approve of it, but Voldemort was kind of determined to make his point to the Death Eaters; you hadn't even done anything wrong; you were just the one who would make him look more powerful," he added quickly as he felt Draco tense again; he knew Tom wanted Draco and Narcissa on his side.

"He wouldn't care either way what happened to me," Draco said slowly, glancing at the door. "I can smell him coming; I've found out apparently everyone has their own scent."

"How do you know it's him before you've seen them?" Harry asked curiously, and Draco looked at Harry with interest.

"You have rather similar scents, which is unusual because everyone so far has been rather distinct. I suppose it would either be him or perhaps one of your family members but they have no reason to be here, and given how close you and Riddle seem to be, it makes sense," the new werewolf told him, smirking slightly. "Don't worry; I'm in no place to judge you at the moment, am I?" the Slytherin added at Harry's grimace.

There was a knock at the door, and Tom was striding in before anybody could call admittance.

The man's eyes lingered dangerously over Harry and Draco's close positioning on the floor, and the boys both stood with a start, Draco wincing as the bite protested against the sudden movement.

With a dark look Harry understood the order to go stand beside Tom, so he obeyed, trying not to lean obviously against the taller boy's warm figure as Tom wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"I believe Harry has told you much about us," Tom said to Draco, the older smirking as he felt Harry wince beside him. "He seems rather adept at spilling secrets and creating bonds to stop the secrets going any further."

"So are you just going to kill me anyway?" Draco said shortly, hanging his head. He jerked it up when Tom laughed coldly.

"Oh no; that would be rather pleasant for you at the moment I suppose. I would like to offer you the chance to pledge allegiance to me over the Dark Lord when the time comes."

"Of course I will," Draco said without giving any consideration to the thought. "You may not have had objection to the Dark Lord's plans, but he was the one who arranged it all and has completely destroyed my life. I'd do anything to be against him aside from following Dumbledore." He spat the headmaster's name as if it was venomous.

"Excellent," Tom said, smiling, waving his wand and turning the bed into a two-seated chair. He pulled Harry to sit beside him on it.

"I was thinking," Harry said after a few moments of awkward silence, "to help you disguise your eyes because they're obviously different to your normal colour, you could get coloured contact lenses. They're Muggle, but they won't be detected and you won't have to worry about a Glamour spell wearing off without you knowing."

Both Tom and Draco scoffed.

"Do you really expect me to wear some Muggle contraption?" Draco sneered, glancing at Tom to make sure he wasn't stepping too far out of line.

"Well it's either that or risk losing your friends," Harry said with a shrug, making Draco frown.

"You should be grateful Harry holds the peculiar belief that your kind are no different to humans; he and that strange friend of his; or rather not-friend as Harry claims," Tom mused, smirking at Harry.

"Well they aren't really," Harry defended, but he knew Tom would never listen to the argument. "How is the bite anyway?"

"It hurts," Draco said simply, prodding at the wrap over the injury. "It's healed quickly though; something to do with the wolf I'm presuming. Mother says Lupin will be sending me a letter in the week because he wants to tell me everything I'll need to know. He would have come to see me but Greyback forbid it."

The way Draco said Greyback held far more hatred than he had used when talking of Dumbledore and Voldemort.

"Nobody ever told him anything; I imagine he'll want you to have every advantage that he could never get," Harry told the blond, and Draco laughed genuinely.

"I have never heard anything so Gryffindor," he muttered, rolling his eyes, but he seemed to be somewhat more cheerful. Hopefully Remus' kind-hearted nature would rub off on the boy.

"I trust you know how to sneak from Hogwarts on a full moon without drawing attention to yourself?" Tom asked Draco sharply.

"Of course; how would I have survived in Slytherin without the ability to make myself invisible when I needed," Draco assured, appearing once again as the usual character he portrayed.

"Good; we don't need unnecessary attention drawn to yourself. You should be made aware the Dark Lord still expects you to fulfil your duty, otherwise your mother shall be the one to suffer next," Tom warned, lips curling as he watched Draco's face darken.

"She'd probably want that," the Slytherin said quietly, keeping his eyes downcast. "She won't want to live knowing what her only son is."

"You might think so," Tom added cruelly, "but I'm sure she wouldn't want her beloved husband to return from Azkaban to learn that his love was dead and his child a beast."

"He isn't a beast," Harry argued, and Tom ignored him. "He isn't, so stop talking about him like he's a monster just because he got bitten by a werewolf," he said louder, looking pointedly at Tom.

"Aren't you feisty tonight?" the man answered mockingly, glancing between the two younger boys. Draco seemed to be grateful for Harry's defence, even if Tom had rejected it. "Nonetheless, you shall give entry to Hogwarts for the Death Eaters, kill Dumbledore and balance your Lycanthropy in complete discretion. Considering Harry's passion for treating your kind as normal, I recommend you stay in good companionship with him."

"I have no choice, do I?" Draco muttered under his breath

"The Healing Salve has been prepared for you to take with you," Tom continued, ignoring Draco bar rolling his eyes. The man leant into Harry, breathing into his ear so quietly that even with his enhanced senses Draco wouldn't have been able to hear it. "And you, Harry, be prepared for what I have planned for you next week." Tom's hand that was lightly squeezing his thigh gave Harry an idea of what Tom was talking about, and he felt his heart flutter as the older boy pulled away. Draco was pointedly staring at the ceiling.

Tom left them without another word, and the blond looked back to Harry with a look of defeat on his face. "Shall we head back then?" he asked, frowning at the floor. "I doubt Mother wants to see me at the moment, so I shan't bother saying goodbye."

"I'm sure she wants to see you before she goes," Harry mused, jumping as Draco kicked the wall and pulled his foot angrily away from the hole he had made.

"No, she doesn't," he snarled, a punch creating a hole higher up. "The further away from her I am the better."

Draco's chest was heaving heavily, his shoulders hunched over. It looked almost feral, and it was only the tears marring his eyes that made him look vulnerable.

"It's your choice," Harry said quietly, edging over to Draco slowly. He reached out and put a hand on his shoulder, but it was shoved off instantly.

Harry backed away slightly, but before he could blink Draco had pulled him against his chest and buried his head into Harry's soft hair. He could feel tears against his head, so he cautiously wrapped his arms around Draco's shoulders, rubbing his fingertips gently in what he hoped was a comforting manner.

They stayed like that for a while, no words spoken between either of them. Harry took it at Draco's pace, so when the Slytherin pulled away and grabbed the Portkey from the cabinet, he had no objections.

X

Harry had lain awake all night, tossing and turning over Draco. He could see the emotional effects the bite had had on him already; his mood swings were rapid, and even when he tried to act as normal it was easy to see what was lurking in his mind. The Slytherin was clearly both angry and distraught over what had happened, but there seemed to be a bit of denial too, though his other emotions took over whenever that was the case.

The physical effects hadn't even happened yet; the bite was healed by a special salve mixed with the werewolf venom, but come the next full moon Malfoy would definitely feel it.

At around three in the morning he had a bright idea, so after Transfiguration, the last lesson of the day, he approached Professor McGonagall.

"Excuse me, Professor?" he asked gently when everyone had left the classroom.

McGonagall turned to face him expectantly. She was a stern woman, but Harry knew deep down she did have a soft spot for the Gryffindors; according to his father, the woman loved him dearly despite giving him a record number of detentions.

"Yes, Potter?" the woman questioned, sounding a bit impatient as she waved her wand to clear up the mess the students had left.

"I was just wondering if you had any advice on becoming an Animagus," he explained, looking at the floor rather than his teacher.

Whatever McGonagall had been expecting, that was not it. Her eyes widened for a slight moment before she regained her composure.

"You have an interest in becoming an Animagus?" she asked. "Why?" she continued when Harry nodded

"Erm, I just thought it would be cool," Harry answered lamely. McGonagall looked disapproving.

"Becoming an Animagus requires intense preparation and focus; it is not something you can take on lightly just because you think it's cool," the woman said sternly, and Harry knew he'd have to tell her the truth somewhat.

"I have a friend, who, well, they're going through something tough, and I've heard that animal companionship helps," he told her, and this time the Professor's interest was raised.

"Why not provide a pet?" she questioned, and Harry raised his eyes to meet hers at last.

"I wanted to show them that they aren't alone, and getting a pet is too impersonal. An animal with a human brain would be a lot more beneficial I think," he explained, trying not to show his surprise when McGonagall nodded.

"Very well, but I must stress you must be prepared for the emotional and physical strain this will have on you for a lengthy time period."

"I can handle it," Harry assured, and McGonagall nodded again.

"We shall meet from tomorrow at eight pm in my office, every week night. Do not over-exert yourself before our meetings or you could end up in the Hospital Wing," the woman told him warningly.

Harry nodded in agreement, and left to go and find Luna as he hadn't spoken to her for a while.

Finding her was much easier now he had the Marauder's Map, so he made his way quickly down to the Forbidden Forest where she was by herself.

He fought his way through the thick tree branches, ignoring the squelching of the mud beneath his feet.

He eventually managed to reach Luna, who was standing near a herd of skeletal horse-like creatures with large wings. They seemed a bit like something from a Muggle horror movie, but Harry supposed they were cute in their own way.

"Hello, Harry," Luna greeted, throwing something to the creature which ate it greedily from the ground.

"Hi, what are these creatures?" he asked, smiling as a foal appeared nervously from behind an adult's legs.

"They're called Thestrals," Luna told him, "I did wonder when you'd be able to see them."

"What do you mean?" Harry asked, gently caressing the foal's head as it pushed underneath his hand. It was a strange, leathery type feel.

"They pull the carriages to Hogwarts, but most people think they pull themselves; they're wrong though. Only those who have seen death can see them," Luna explained, throwing an apple to the foal.

"But I saw-I mean I saw Sirius," he winced inwardly at the name, "die months ago. How come I couldn't see them before?"

"You have to accept the death first," the girl told him, taking hold of Harry's hand. "I could tell for a long time you were still in the first stages of acceptance; you seem different now."

"I-I went inside the Veil," Harry said, and Luna nodded as if to say she already knew. "I met Sirius in there; he told me he was at peace, and he wanted me to move on."

"That's good," Luna mused, smiling brightly. She cast her eyes up towards the treetops, peaking through at the patches of visible sky.

A twig breaking caught both their attentions, and they were able to catch a blur of a blond head stalking past, the figure muttering to itself.

"Draco?" Harry called out, chasing after the figure, with Luna right behind him.

He pushed through the trees, the view taking him aback.

Draco was standing beneath a tree, a thick rope tossed around a branch, falling down into a noose.

"What on Earth are you doing?" Harry found himself shouting in a panic, causing birds and other winged creatures to go flying from their branches.

The Slytherin turned to look at them, and the look of complete despair and desperation on the boy's face almost made Harry break down.

"Let me do this," he said dangerously, scowling as Harry and Luna both pulled their wands out. "There's no point anymore; everything I had in life has been taken away from me."

"You have plenty to live for," Harry tried to re-assure, but Draco shook his head violently, grabbing the rope with one hand. Harry knew he could Stupefy the boy, but he'd rather Draco choose not to kill himself rather than being forced not to.

"Nott's father told him all about me, you know?" Draco sobbed. "And now all of my friends despise me. Even Crabbe and Goyle were disgusted with me; Crabbe and Goyle of all people! They told me they would keep my secret as long as they didn't have to be anywhere near me."

"Well they're idiotic bigots," Harry affirmed, looking at Luna for support.

"I think being a werewolf makes you more interesting," the girl agreed, smiling sweetly at Draco. "You are one of the lucky ones who gets to communicate with the Moon."

"What about Blaise and Pansy?" Harry asked, and Draco shrugged.

"Blaise stayed quiet, but that's how Blaise is, and I've not seen Pansy; I'm sure she'll agree with the others."

"You don't know that," Harry pointed out. He noticed Draco had dropped the rope; a significant gesture he supposed.

As if to prove his point, Pansy appeared from the trees, stumbling over roots as she hurried. Blaise was close behind her.

"What do you think you're doing Draco? Are you out of your mind?" Pansy screeched, drawing her wand as well.

"I think that much is obvious, Pansy," Blaise added, eyeing the rope with distaste.

"Of course I have; I don't even have a human mind anymore," Draco cried. He tugged at the rope, causing the thick branch to come crashing to the floor with a clean snap. "You see?" he sounded strangled as he spoke. "It's no surprise everyone has kicked me out for being a monster when they're right."

"You're not a monster," Harry said for what felt like the hundredth time in two days. "Yes, you turn into a wolf at the full moon; so what? You're human the rest of the time, and I told you before, with the Wolfsbane you can keep your human mind even when you're in the wolf's body. If anything you're better than other people because you have extra strength and stronger senses."

"Exactly, so stop being a drama queen and come with us back to the castle," Blaise added, his annoyed tone coming through. "I told the others they were being unacceptable and that werewolf or not, you are still a Malfoy. I may have used some, er, persuasion, but they agreed to allow you to sleep in our dorm."

"Why? I can understand these two not caring," Draco asked, pointing at Luna and Harry, "but I thought you'd have more common sense than to associate with someone like me."

"For the love of Salazar, Draco, we've been friends since we were infants," Pansy sighed, sending a Severing Charm at the rope. "I'm not about to let you kill yourself over some stupid breakdown you're having. No, I don't particularly want to be around you at the full moon, or even hear anything about it, but that doesn't mean I want you dead. Now quit being stupid and get yourself back inside."

With that said, Pansy stormed off, angrily batting branches out of her way.

"Believe it or not," Blaise started, staring after the girl, "she's really upset about what happened to you. She said she hoped we were playing a prank on her, and she's furious at the Dark Lord."

"Why's she so angry then?" Draco questioned, and Blaise looked at the blond sadly.

"She heard Daphne and Astoria saying they didn't want to be anywhere near you, and Pansy broke up with Daphne on the spot."

"And you thought everyone would hate you," Harry stated, moving over to stand beside Draco again. He was trembling once more, and his eyes were glowing bright yellow. "I told you, the people who really care about you won't let this affect them in the long run. Of course, if they already hold the prejudice it might be hard for them to get over, but they'll get over it. Anyone who doesn't is of no importance to you."

Draco nodded, and then laughed coldly, staring down at the broken rope.

"Draco, will you come for a walk with me?" Luna asked gently, and to Harry's surprise the Slytherin nodded, and even took hold of Luna's hand when she offered it.

Harry and Blaise watched as they took off into the forest, both of them with a slight smile on their faces.

"You're far better to him than we are," Blaise stated, and Harry looked at him in confusion. "Pansy and I think his Lycanthropy is horrific; he may as well be a Mudblood, but he doesn't need to know that as long as it keeps him happy. We'll act as normal so he doesn't do anything drastic. You and Lovegood actually seem to genuinely not care what he is."

"Of course we don't," Harry tutted, and Blaise rolled his eyes.

"On Hallowe'en Mother is having a ball at our Manor. I shall issue you and Lovegood with an invite."

"Err, okay, thanks," Harry muttered awkwardly and Blaise rolled his eyes.

"Perhaps one day you'll actually be articulate," the boy drawled. His nose wrinkled in disgust. "I'm leaving this place now; I swear I'll end up smelling like Hagrid if I don't get out now. Are you coming?"

Harry nodded and followed Blaise from the forest.

"How did you know Draco was here?" he asked, struggling to keep up with the boy's strides. Zabini was much taller than Harry and the Slytherin clearly didn't care if Harry couldn't match him.

"We saw him running off in the direction of it; that was our first sign something was wrong because Malfoy never runs," Blaise stated, pulling out a bottle and spraying the pair once they had left the trees. "Merlin it's awful," he cried, spraying frantically.

"It's only outdoors," Harry muttered and Zabini scoffed.

"Well we have no need for the outdoors other than travelling; why bother getting dirty when we can have everything we need indoors?" he complained, itching his head. "Draco better appreciate what I did for him. I'll see you around."

Harry rolled his eyes, waving off Blaise as he went, before making his own way back to the castle.

X

The next evening at eight, Harry stood outside McGonagall's office waiting for her to answer the door.

"Hello, Potter," she said once she opened it. The woman gestured for him to come inside. "I will warn you now that for the first few lessons you shall not be doing much at all; you first need to work on meditation and focusing your magical core."

It sounded a bit like when Tom taught Harry Occlumency, trying to shut off the mind, although with a bit extra work on magical focus.

"That sounds okay, I've meditated before," he voiced outloud, and McGonagall looked pleased.

"Good, but I assure you this will be hard work, despite how much practice you've had in the past," she warned, indicating for Harry to take a seat. "You need to close your eyes and shut your mind off. Once you've done that, you must focus on your magical core. The idea is to feel the magic in your veins, as the transformation can only work if you are aware of how your core works."

Harry shut his eyes, and easily cleared his mind; that part was easy. Focusing on his magical core was another story altogether. It took him around half an hour to feel something stronger, and as he did his eyes jerked open at the unexpected feeling.

"I think I finally got it," he said sheepishly, trying not to go red as McGonagall looked at him sternly.

"Very good, but this time try to keep your mind shut when you reach it," she scolded. "You shall likely reach it sooner this time, so have one more try; I shan't be sending my own students to Madame Pomphrey for exhaustion."

Harry shut his eyes again and cleared his mind. He tried to imagine his own body from the inside, and feel the magic inside him. It was much sooner he felt the strange bubbling of magic inside him, but rather than jolting him alert again, he tried to focus on how the magic went around him.

His eyes flew open when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"You were working much too hard there; you were ready to collapse," Minerva told him, but she looked please. "You are performing beyond the expected rate for a first time, but I suppose if you are already adept at clearing your mind you have saved time on the first step. I shall see you tomorrow, Potter."

Harry could have sworn he saw her smile as he left.

He was ready for smiling himself; despite feeling drained from searching his core, he felt excited that he was apparently on track. He had heard how his dad and Sirius had become Animagi to help Remus when they had discovered he was a werewolf, which was where he had gotten the idea from. He knew Draco would like to have company while he was a wolf, plus it was always something he had wanted to do, but never really had a reason to do before.

He was feeling quite content with things until a chill ran through him.

The corridor he was in was deserted, but Harry didn't feel alone. He shook his head to rid himself of those thoughts; Hogwarts was full of ghosts and hidden things, of course there was some other entity than him around.

But dread seemed to fill him as he moved forward, each footstep feeling like lead as he got closer to the next corridor.

He jumped when he saw a face at the window; wait, no, there was no way that could have been a face; they were on the seventh floor for goodness sake.

Mustering up all the courage he hadn't realised he needed, he turned the corner and stopped dead in his tracks.

His eyes widened and he heard a faraway scream; it must have been his.

The last thing he saw before he fainted was the dangling corpse of Fenrir Greyback, and gleaming red words on the wall behind him.

'I'm your servant, my immortal.'

X

Notes:

Okay, so last line there is from the song 'Horror of our Love' which is by Ludo, not me.

Oh, and what type of animal do you think Harry should be in his Animagus form? I'm after a normal animal that suits his personality. I can't be doing with magical creatures and rare and powerful things that I see so much; I just want a normal animal that is at least a little bit cute.

Date: 2015-12-18; view: 724