CHAPTER 14: BLUE, BLUE MESA

D URING THE ENTIRE trip from Evanston down to the near north side, Tina could not keep her mind off the fact that the woman sitting next to her smelled so damn good. Fresh from the shower, Mariel had done who knows what, put something in her hair, used some sort of soap, some lotion, the investigator could only imagine. All she knew was that it was intoxicating and it was damn distracting. It wasn't like Tina had never been around women. While she herself wasn't particularly one to worry about the feminine concerns of makeup and such, she couldn't say she didn't appreciate them. And Mariel was decidedly more fond of things that brought out her beauty. A little lipstick, something to bring out the golden green in her eyes, something sweetly citrus smelling. The detective shifted in her seat and kept her eyes on the road, though her other senses were profoundly occupied.

The scientist had carried on most of the conversation, commenting about the city, telling a few stories about her fellow Bureau co-workers, describing a trip she had made to Mesa Verde to rock climb. Tina had supplied the appropriate responses, a few 'uh-huhs', a head nod here and there but otherwise she was quiet, content to let Mariel talk. In fact, it was soothing really, driving along through the hustle and bustle of the city, to listen to Mariel's voice, just the two of them in their own little Buick world. With a sideways glance, the detective smiled when she saw the blond demonstrating with hand gestures.

"And because I'm shorter than most people, I've got to find creative ways to climb, so I'll stretch here or there looking for a hand hold and the next person would be climbing right past me."

Tina chuckled as she wheeled the car down South Halsted. Looking over, she took in the casually dressed scientist with a glance. Wearing a pair of black jeans, Mariel had on a soft grey shirt with a long-sleeved light blue shirt over it. Her black suede barn jacket completed the outfit. With another appreciative glance, the investigator spoke.

"Yeah, but you're muscular and compact. That means you've got quite a bit of strength and leverage in your legs and your upper body can help pull your weight up. You can use that to your advantage."

Mariel nodded and smiled, raising a jacketed arm and pretending to flex her biceps.
"Yep, they never know what hits 'em. I take Seido karate and Sensi Po-Nin works me hard. She makes sure I'm prepared in the field. This knee of mine is killer."
The scientist chuckled as Tina's eyes scanned for a place to park as she slowly drove down the street, turning along one of the side streets off Halsted. Glancing over at Mariel, she gestured with her hand as she spoke, her wrist resting on top of the steering wheel as the car rumbled down the street.

"Don't you carry a gun? I thought all Bureau were issued a piece."

The scientist turned and gazed out the window, taking in the various business along the street before she glanced over and spoke.

"I have one, but I don't carry it. Since I'm part of the behavioral science unit and mainly work in-office, they don't force us to carry it at all times. Eph was pretty upset when I didn't take a weapon for this assignment. To be honest, guns tend to bother me."

Tina looked over as she found a place opening up, a pick-up truck vacating a prime parking spot. With a serious voice, she pulled up her sunglasses and caught the researcher's eye while they waited for the truck to leave.

"You know I carry one, don't you?"

Mariel nodded, her hand reaching out to smooth across the dashboard as her eyes studied the surface before returning to the detective's face.

"Yeah, I kind of figured. You know, Tina, I realize that our profession is dangerous and I do understand the need to use a gun in certain situations."

She paused, watching as the investigator started to parallel park the car, her shades raised up and resting on top of her head as she turned around and put her arm across the seat behind Mariel. When they were securely in the spot and Tina had put the Buick in park, she waited until the detective's eyes met hers before she continued.

"It's just that...well, I think people are so quick to use guns when there are other ways. I guess I've just decided to look for other solutions but I always know that there's a chance that a gun is the only option. We all have to make choices we can live with."

Tina's hand found the keys and shut the car off, half-turning in her seat to face the young scientist.

"Mariel, there was once a time when I used a gun too easily, before I joined the police force...I.."

The detective shifted her eyes to the keys in her hand before she looked up again, finding quiet patience in a set of green eyes. With a slight smile, she continued.

"Let's just say Detroit was a rough place for a kid to grow up. I made quite a few mistakes, hung around with the wrong crowd, hurt people. I was young and stupid, making the worst choices for all the wrong reasons. I thought I was invincible...and with a gun, I was."

Tina paused, her eyes falling back down to her jean covered knee, her hand touching against the worn faded surface before raising to run her fingers through her bangs.

"Mariel, I'm not proud of what I did back then. I...had a brother, Lucas, who used to always try to get me away from the guys I was hanging out with. Said they were no good. He always believed in me, through all the tough times. He used to say that it's easier to believe in yourself when someone else believes in you first. He helped me make a change, helped me find my way."

Mariel was quiet, taking in the almost bittersweet tone of voice the detective used. The blue file she had received from Agent Eph had mentioned her brother's death as well as a troubled childhood in Detroit and the juvenile record that went with it. The scientist was glad, however, that Tina had found a better way in her own life. Mariel always did have a natural compassion for people who found the strength to turn their lives around after hardship or poor judgment. With a genuine voice, she spoke.

"Lucas sounds very special. I'm glad you had him."

Tina smiled, her blue eyes lighting up just a bit as she murmured.

"Me too."

They looked at each other for a bit longer before Tina's blue eyes glanced back through the car window and nodded towards the restaurant. With a smile, she gestured with her thumb.

"Now, you said something about being near-starvation?"

Mariel smiled warmly before she narrowed her eyes and smirked, shaking her head as she playfully reached over and pushed against the detective's shoulder.

"Tina, I said nothing about starvation. Famished and ravenous, yes, near-death, no."

Tina just smirked back at her and raised an eyebrow.

"Right...let's go."

* * *

They walked into Blue Mesa, its Southwestern motif clearly evident in the decorations. Oranges and browns and yellows were lightly painted across the walls. During the lunch hour, there was a healthy amount of people in the restaurant, each of them dining on the hot Tex-Mex food this place was known for. Sizzling trays of fajitas passed by them, the smell wafting in the scientist's direction and making her mouth water. Standing just inside the door waiting to be seated, Tina glanced down and smiled, taking in Mariel's eagerness.

"Smoking or non-smoking?"

The tired looking hostess called to them as she came walking up, grabbing two menus from the stand next to the cash register. Tina looked at her and spoke in her no-nonsense voice.

"Non. And a booth...near the back. Away from the restrooms."

The hostess looked up at the tall detective who stood there all intimidating with no expression on her face. Why were the big ones always so demanding? Sighing, she calculated the time she had left to work today and multiplied that number by how many potentially difficult customers she would have. Too long. Her eyes then fell on the blond shorter woman who smiled at her in a friendly manner. Well, that one was better. The hostess spoke to her instead, turning and leading them back through the restaurant.

"Right this way, ma'am."

Mariel raised her eyebrows up at Tina and smiled, shrugging her shoulders as she took the lead and followed the hostess back, the detective sauntering after her with a bemused grin on her face. Mariel could even charm a waitress without saying anything. Was there no end to what this young woman could do?

After showing them to their booth, the hostess deposited their waters and left, informing Mariel that her waitress would be there shortly. Before climbing into the booth against the back wall of the restaurant, the scientist started to take of her jacket, her arms struggling to free themselves. With casual ease, Tina stepped behind Mariel and helped slip the jacket from her shoulders, hanging it neatly up on the peg next to the booth.

"Thanks.."

Mariel's voice was light as she scooted into the booth, watching the investigator gracefully glide into her side. It appeared that Tina preferred to keep her leather jacket on at all times, something the scientist decided was clearly a good look on the attractive woman. It just seemed right. Happily, she smiled across the table, folding her hands in front of her on the smooth wooden surface and sighed.

"What?"

Tina's voice rumbled, the researcher's smile causing one of her own to form in response. In fact, if Tina thought about it, she seemed to find herself smiling all the damn time now, like she couldn't help it. It had been a long time since she had reason to be happy actually. Despite the grim nature of the case they were working on, she felt an almost giddy sense of excitement she rarely let herself indulge in. Looking over at the young doctor's face, she felt like the tight control she held on her emotions was in for a serious challenge.

"I'm just excited about tonight. So, who's this friend of yours we're meeting?"

The investigator reached over and took a sip of water, letting her eyes find Mariel's before she swallowed and nodded. With a shrug of her shoulder, she spoke.

"Layla, an old girlfriend of mine."

Mariel tried to keep her expression unchanged, taking in this bit of information with casual nonchalance. Looking down, she moved the napkin and silverware to the side and glanced back up. Affecting a neutral voice, she spoke.

"Oh, uh huh. So you've known her for a long time then?"

The scientist couldn't help but notice the tiny little bit of something twinge inside of her at the thought of Tina having girlfriends. Of course, she would. She was a beautiful woman, sure of herself. Who wouldn't be attracted to her? Heck, she probably had men and women alike falling all over themselves. So yeah, she probably had lots of girlfriends. Many. Tons.

Tina watched the doctor's face, detecting the slightest change from her excited state. Surely, she wasn't bothered by the mention of an old girlfriend who had become a trusted friend now for years. The waitress chose that moment to make an appearance.

"You ready to order or do you need more time?"

Both women glanced up at her and Tina nodded, gesturing slightly with her hand.

"Give us a few."

The waitress nodded and put her pen back in her pocket and drifted off to deal with the rest of her station. Tina turned her eyes back to Mariel, the researcher having found a rather interesting salt shaker in the shape of a sombrero to look at on the table, her hand idly playing with it.

"Mariel, Layla and I have known each other for years. I was with her briefly back in Detroit before she moved here too. She's one of the few friends I have here really."

Mariel looked up and let her gaze take in Tina's expression. There didn't seem to be anything hidden behind the words. Trying to sound casual, she cleared her throat before lifting her eyes to Tina.

"So, you've been with a fair amount of women..."

Mariel let the sentence die, her gaze now directed down at carefully putting her spoon back down on the napkin. Tina shook her head, smiling gently as Mariel looked back up at her across the table.

"Well, I won't deny that but...there were only two that I really.."

It was the detective's turn to let her eyes drop, her keys laying on the table the target of her attention. Talking about her feelings, especially these kind of feelings was difficult. Frankly, she had done more talking in the past 18 hours than she had done in the last two weeks. Of course, with her line of work, she never found herself around many people worth talking to for very long. Somehow though, Mariel made her feel comfortable. The young scientist was easy to talk to, her patient demeanor and genuine personality made Tina feel at ease. Looking into green eyes, she smiled slightly and took a breath.

"There have only been two women in my life that have meant something very special to me. Layla and I were close, but we weren't together long enough for a real relationship. Now, we're just friends."

Here, the investigator paused as she remembered her other love, a woman as gentle as she was tough. Mala. Even her name had a soothing sound to it. She had had a tempering effect on Tina after her wild days in Detroit. In many ways, Mala had saved her from herself, taught her how to control some of the anger she had. Taught her how to love.

"Then there was Mala...I loved her, very much. She was the first person I felt a real connection with, something deeper than surface feelings, you know? That was a long time ago though. Everyone else has either been a diversion or a mutual...arrangement."

Mariel looked over at the detective, finding stark honesty there she had come to associate with Tina, that is, when the detective wasn't hiding behind her reticent mask. Despite feeling a tad bit jealous of these two women who had meant something important to the investigator at one time, she also was heartened to know that someone had once made Tina happy. Letting her voice soften, she spoke.

"So, are you still friends with Mala?"

Tina let her mind drift back to the quiet woman she had shared her life with when she came to Chicago. Her exotic features still sometimes haunted the detective's dreams but enough time had gone by that she had moved on. That felt so long ago and Tina had not let anyone close since. It was simply too painful. Glancing over at Mariel, the investigator swallowed before she spoke, her voice steeled against the pain.

"She died five years ago."

Mariel's face was suddenly compassionate, her hand automatically reaching out to cover the detective's on the table briefly, her quiet voice full of caring.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Tina. I didn't mean to bring up something painful."

Tina's eyes caught the scientist's own and she smiled slightly, shaking her head just a bit at Mariel.

"No, it's alright. I'll always miss her but I've let her go."

The detective paused as she heard Mala's voice, gently comforting Tina after Lucas died, even though her own death was imminent, neither knowing it at the time however. With a smile to Mariel, she spoke quietly across the table, relaying Mala's words to the researcher.

"She taught me that no matter how much I might want to will it otherwise, life goes on in an endless cycle of death and rebirth. One no worse than the other. She said the real challenge was to embrace both and find the peace that endures in all things."

The young doctor smiled and nodded, slowly bringing her hand back across the table as she murmured.

"That's good...she sounds like a poet."

Tina smiled fondly and chuckled, her voice lighter as the previous weight of the conversation lifted.

"I called her a philosopher, but yeah, she certainly had a way with words."

They both chuckled as the waitress came up, setting down a bowl of chips and salsa before she got out her pen, ready to write.

"You two ready?"

Tina raised an eyebrow over at Mariel in question, smiling when the blond nodded vigorously and spoke to the waitress as she reached for a chip and dipped it in the hot chunky sauce.

"Am I ever! Could I get the chicken enchiladas and an iced tea, no sugar?"

The investigator raised both eyebrows. They hadn't even looked at their menus yet. With an amused voice, she smiled over at Mariel.

"You already know what they have?"

The scientists popped the chip in her mouth, chewing happily as she nodded, swallowing before she spoke.

"Oh yeah...chicken enchiladas are my favorite...standard fare in places like this. I'd be shocked if they didn't have them."

With a sudden look of concern, she glanced nervously at the waitress, her voice worried.

"You do have chicken enchiladas, don't you?"

The waitress nodded her head and smiled at the relief washing over the blond's face. Turning to Tina, she looked into blue eyes, ready to take her order.

"Make that two. And a water."

Tina's voice rumbled as the waitress nodded and turned, taking the menus with her. With a smile, the investigator watched as Mariel took a drink of water. Talking wasn't that bad. In fact, she even had to admit she felt better after letting the scientist in just a bit. As strong as she liked to think she was, it took more effort keeping the walls up than it did letting them down. And to be honest, she was beginning to trust Mariel, the ease with which the young woman naturally drew the detective out felt safe. And if Tina wanted to be really honest with herself, she was tired of traveling the road she was on alone, keeping others at bay. Maybe she had finally found the other half of what was missing in her life. Maybe. She smiled as she watched Mariel reach to dip another chip in the salsa and hold it up, her eyebrows raising as she looked over at the detective and spoke with a playful voice.

"Hey, how did you know I loved Tex-Mex?"

Tina just smirked as she leaned back against the booth, her arm casually draping across the back of the low bench. With a slight cock of her head to the side, she let her blue eyes sparkle as spoke.

"Just a hunch."

Mariel chewed and swallowed before taking another drink of water, letting a smile curve across her lips before she brushed her hair back behind one ear. Her eyes dipped down to glance at the salsa before raising again and meeting the investigator's, her voice happily skeptical.

"A hunch, huh? Do you even like this kind of food?"

Tina reached out and took a chip, scooping up a bit of salsa before taking a careful bite of it. Mariel watched as the detective chewed with evident pleasure, feeling like she knew a whole lot more about the woman across the booth from her than when she woke up this morning. Putting all the pieces together was starting to add up to one very complex, interesting, fascinating, intriguing, and immensely attractive person. She could get very used to spending time with a certain blue-eyed private investigator. Very used to it. With a slight head nod and smile, Tina swallowed and spoke in a low rich voice.

"Oh, I love Tex-Mex too. Trust me."

Date: 2015-12-17; view: 415