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NICK, BRIDGET & ANNIE[Erm].
HECTOR No. I’m not cool.
NICK, BRIDGET & ANNIE [Erm] no.
HECTOR So, I will go shopping.
NICK Here we go again. Hector! You can’t go out there on your own. You went shopping on the Internet.
HECTOR Yes.
NICK Ha-ha! You ordered melons instead of lemons and too many eggs. Have you ever been to a supermarket?
HECTOR No. My …
NICK Who are these?
HECTOR My …
NICK … Servants.
HECTOR Yeah, my servants..
NICK Servants. Now I understand.
BRIDGET Come on Hector, I will teach you how to shop, Hector …
ANNIE ‘Till you drop. Bridget and I will be the shopkeepers.
BRIDGET And you are our customer!
HECTOR OK. [Clears throat] Good afternoon.
BRIDGET Good afternoon!
ANNIE Can I help you sir?
HECTOR Eh?
BRIDGET What would you like to buy?
HECTOR Oh, I would like some …
ANNIE … Clothes!
HECTOR Yes, I would like some clothes, please.
BRIDGET What size?
HECTOR Eh?
BRIDGET What … size.
HECTOR I don’t know.
BRIDGET I’ll have to measure you then. Arms up please.
HECTOR Eh?
ANNIE Arms up, please.
HECTOR Oh, arms up, please.
BRIDGET Chest. Ooh! One hundred and twelve centimetres!
ANNIE Chest, one hundred and twelve centimetres.
BRIDGET And waist. Eighty two centimetres.
ANNIE Waist, eighty two centimetres.
BRIDGET And … l-e-g!! [laughs] …
NICK I’ll do that!
BRIDGET No, it’s OK!
NICK [Clears throat] Eight-ty seven centimetres!
BRIDGET Now, do you like these trousers?
ANNIE Do you like this shirt?
HECTOR Ye-es.
BRIDGET Good, that’s [erm] … Five thousand pounds.
HECTOR OK.
ANNIE No, no, no Hector. Five thousand pounds is, is … eight thousand dollars!
HECTOR Yeah.
BRIDGET It’s too much, it’s too expensive.
NICK Not for Hector!
HECTOR So, I am ready to go shopping! Ha ha!
ANNIE Good luck.
BRIDGET Yeah, good luck.
NICK You’ll need it!
BRIDGET & ANNIE [Sneezing]
BRIDGET Where’s my lemon drink, Nick?
ANNIE Nick, are there any more tissues?
NICK All right, I’m coming as fast as I can! OK.
ANNIE Oh, I feel awful.
BRIDGET Oh, me too. Nothing will make me feel better.
Sound of knocking on door
ANNIE Oh, can you get that please Nick?
NICK Oh, it’s only Hector.
HECTOR Well, is it cool?
NICK Wow, man! Well done! You look great!
HECTOR I would like a shirt, please.
BRIDGET Excellent! Oh the clothes are super!
HECTOR And a pair of trou-sers.
ANNIE Oh, you are clever, Hector!
HECTOR And a pair of shoes, please! [Laughs] I have been shopping!
Sound of intercom
BRIDGET Oh, I’ll get it. Hello.
Landlady [Speaking on intercom] It’s me.
BRIDGET Oh, hello. It’s the tarantula! How are you?
Landlady [Speaking on intercom] Fine, thank you.
BRIDGET Oh, good, good.
Landlady [Speaking on intercom] How’s your cold?
BRIDGET How’s my cold? Well how did you know I have a cold?
Landlady [Speaking on intercom] You told me this morning.
HECTOR Me, I am Bridget.
Landlady [Speaking on intercom] I don’t believe you.
HECTOR Yes, I have a cold. [Sneezes]
Landlady [Speaking on intercom] Oh, I’m sorry.
HECTOR Thank you. [Sneezes]
BRIDGET Yes, silly me! I told you this morning.
Landlady [Speaking on intercom] Why are four hundred tins of dog food here for Annie?
BRIDGET Pardon? I don’t know. … Well, how strange!
Landlady [Speaking on intercom] Four hundred tins.
BRIDGET Yes, that’s a lot of tins. Well I really don’t know.
Landlady [Speaking on intercom] Can you ask Annie?
BRIDGET Yes, I’ll ask Annie, goodbye. The tarantula said, why have four hundred tins of dog food downstairs?
ANNIE Four hundred tins?
Date: 2015-12-17; view: 937
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