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Respond to compliments
William: Hello, and welcome to How to… our guide to the everyday language of life.
My name’s William Kremer. I take every opportunity to shock my colleagues here at BBC Learning English dot com and earlier on I gave several of them a big shock. I went around the office complimenting them.
Why did I compliment them? Did they look good? Had they made programmes that I’d enjoyed? Well no, not really. I just wanted to see how they would react - how they would respond - to my compliments.
I started off by approaching Carrie at the photocopier. How did she react when I gave her a compliment?
William: Hello Carrie. You’re looking lovely today… Carrie: What are you after? William: What do you mean, what am I after? I’m just saying you look lovely. I like your purple T-shirt. Carrie: It’s just you don’t ever normally give me compliments so you must be after something…
William: Well, I told you that my colleagues would be shocked by me paying them compliments. When I told Carrie that I thought she looked lovely she said: ‘What are you after?’
William: Hello Carrie. You’re looking lovely today… Carrie: What are you after? William: ‘What are you after?’ means ‘What do you want?’. Carrie thinks that I am being nice to her because I want to ask her a favour. She said that I didn’t normally compliment her so ‘I must be after something’. ‘What are you after?’ is a humorous, and quite common response to an unexpected compliment. It is sometimes said that the British don’t know how to respond to compliments. So after Carrie’s rather disappointing answer, I thought I’d try someone from abroad, so I approached my colleague Khalid….
William: Khalid! Khalid: Hello! William: Khalid’s busy. But I just wanted to say… erm you’re looking fantastic today. As always, actually! You’re so smart…. Khalid: Oh thank you! What do you want? William: You’re the second person that’s said that! No, I don’t want anything, I don’t need you to translate anything at all… I just thought I… I… I thought you look very smart. Khalid: Well thank you so much, that’s very, very kind. I got my shirt from er Dubai actually – erm, very cheap shop in Dubai… erm – it didn’t cost me a lot of money but I think it’s nice, and you think it’s nice.
William: Well, either I don’t ever pay people compliments or my colleagues never receive any! Khalid also asked me if I wanted anything – if I was looking for a favour. But then he said, ‘Thank you so much, that’s very kind’.
William: … I just thought I… I… I thought you look very smart. Khalid: Well thank you so much, that’s very, very kind. I got my shirt from er Dubai actually – erm, very cheap shop in Dubai… erm – it didn’t cost me a lot of money but I think it’s nice, and you think it’s nice.
William: After Khalid thanked me for the compliment, he went on to tell me about his shirt – specifically that it hadn’t cost much money. In Britain this is quite a common way of responding to compliments about clothes – to say that actually your clothes aren’t so special. We often say ‘Ooh, it was only cheap’ or maybe ‘I’ve had it for ages’. You’re not disagreeing with the compliment, but saying this kind of thing shows that you’re surprised by it.
Next, I complimented Callum Robertson on his programme Grammar Challenge, and he replied using a standard phrase.
William: So, I listened to one of your grammar challenges the other day… and erm… I thought it was fantastic
Callum: Ah well, it’s very nice of you to say so, thanks
William: Callum said ‘It’s very nice of you to say so’
Callum: Ah well, it’s very nice of you to say so, thanks
William: Now, there’s an important strategy that people use in reacting to compliments. That is to return the compliment – to give a compliment back to the person who gave it to you! Listen to my conversation with Hina:
William: No, I … I… thought that I’d, I’d come over and compliment you on the way you’re looking today because I think you’re looking very smart… Hina: Thank you Will, that’s very kind of you to say. You’re looking very smart and tall as usual…. William: I’m tall! Yes – I can’t help, I’m always looking tall, that’s just the way I am!
William: Hina returned my compliment by saying that I was looking very tall. Normally, we don’t say that people look tall, we say that they are tall… that’s why I told Hina that I’m always looking tall.
Hina: You’re looking very smart and tall as usual….
William: I’m tall! Yes – I can’t help, I’m always looking tall, that’s just the way I am!
I am actually a very tall person, and I get a lot of compliments about my height. Old ladies are always saying to me ‘Oh, you’re lovely and tall’. That sounds very nice, but actually it gets pretty boring. And, it can be quite difficult for me to return the compliment. It would be very strange for me to say ‘Oh, thank you very much. You’re lovely and short’!
But, after someone compliments you, you always need to say something. Goodbye!
How to… Disagreeing
Jackie: Hello, welcome to the programme, with me, Jackie Dalton. This programme is all about expressions you can use when you think someone is wrong about something and you want to disagree with them.
We're going to do this with the help of British Prime Minister, Tony Blair. He was recently interviewed by John Humphries, a BBC journalist. Tony Blair disagreed with quite a lot of the things John Humphries said and we're going to look at some of the language he used when he did this – language you could use in all kinds of situations when you disagree with someone. In the first example, Tony Blair responds to John Humphries by using one of the simplest words in the English language. Tony Blair Shouldn't you be apologising to those people? No, I don't think we should be apologising.
Jackie: 'No' – a direct way of disagreeing. Be careful about how you use such direct language. As with a lot of language we'll hear today, your tone of voice can be very important in how you come across. This person disagrees quite politely.
Example You always come to work late. No, I don't.
Jackie: But here, she sounds more aggressive.
Jackie: Listen to this next clip. What phrase does Tony Blair use in these examples to express his disagreement?
Tony Blair You see, I mean, I don't agree with that. I understand that's the argument against what we've done, but I don't agree with it. Well, I don't agree with that at all… I'm a great admirer of Kofi's, but we obviously disagree about this issue.
Jackie: He uses the verb 'to agree' in the negative - 'I don't agree' and he uses the verb 'to disagree' - 'I disagree'. Now we'll hear Tony Blair using a slightly more formal structure:
Tony Blair And, it's made this country a more dangerous place. Well I don't accept that, either.
Jackie: 'I don't accept that' – another way of saying you don't agree with something that's just been said.
Tony Blair The failure of that responsibility- Well, I don't accept that we failed in that responsibility.
Jackie: Sometimes you may agree with part of what someone says, but disagree with other parts. What structure does Tony Blair use to do that here?
John Humphries and Tony Blair …many of them loyal to their own warlords. Well, I think that although it is true to say that there are far too many parts of the police that are sectarian and so on- They're…
Jackie: Tony Blair shows that he agrees with some of what John Humphries has said, but he tries to go on to say that there are other things he disagrees with. We know he disagrees with part of what John has said because he uses the word 'although' at the beginning of his sentence: 'Although it's true to say …' He never quite finishes his sentence to tell us what he doesn't agree with so let's listen to a more complete example of that phrase in use.
Example He doesn't work hard enough and he's bad for the company! Although it's true to say he doesn't work as much as he should, I think he's very clever and could help the company a lot. Jackie: You could also use 'while' instead of 'although'.
Examples While it's true to say he doesn't work as much as he should, I think he's very clever and he could help the company a lot.
Jackie: In this next clip, John Humphries says something that Tony Blair disagrees with. What's the phrase that Tony Blair uses to interrupt him?
John Humphries and Tony Blair …elected their own government, we're now telling- Well, hang on a minute John! They excluded…
Oh no well you added those bits- Well hang on- You added those bits- No, no, before any of those things…
Jackie: 'Hang on a minute…' this sometimes just means 'wait', but here it's a way of saying 'Stop, I don't agree and there's something I want to say.' He then corrects him.
Tony Blair …elected their own government, we're now telling- Well, hang on a minute John! They excluded…
Oh no well you added those bits- Well hang on- You added those bits- No, no, before any of those things…
Jackie: Let's end on some very strong statements of disagreement.
Tony Blair …process but- You'd already decided by then. That is really not true but, I mean…
I most certainly do not accept that he was not a threat.
Jackie: Both Tony Blair's words and his tone of voice make it very clear he disagrees. He uses the adverbs 'really' and 'most certainly' to show how strongly he disagrees with what's been said.
Tony Blair That is really not true but, I mean…
I most certainly do not accept that he was not a threat.
Jackie: Finally, there are some very strong informal – and sometimes quite rude - ways of disagreeing with someone that you might come across, although be careful about when you use them. Here they are.
Examples That's nonsense! That's rubbish!
Jackie: Again, these expressions can be made stronger, this time, with adjectives.
Examples That's complete nonsense! That's absolute rubbish!
Jackie: Although Tony Blair did seem to get quite cross in this interview, he never got quite angry enough to use those words.
How to … respond to someone’s good news SIG
William: Hello and welcome to How to… your weekly instruction manual for saying and doing things in English.
TAG
My name’s William Kremer. Let’s start today’s programme with a piece of good news: I’m getting married next month!
So what’s the best way for you to respond to something like that? Well, English speakers are lucky to have a word that they can use whenever something really good happens to another person…
Example Elena: Congratulations!
William: Congratulations! If you’re writing a card or a letter you might want to say what you are congratulating your friend about. To do this you can say…
Example Elena: Congratulations on your engagement!
William: Or you can say…
Example
Elena: Congratulations on getting married!
William: But there are lots of things we can say to people who have some good news other than ‘congratulations’. I’m going to invite a colleague from BBC Learning English into the studio, and I’m going to tell him my good news – about me getting married next month, and let’s see what words he uses when he responds.
STING
William: And Matt has just come into the studio – hello Matt. Matt: Hello William. William: Now the reason I have called you into the studio today is because I have some good news. Matt: Ah excellent – I like good news. William: I am going to be getting married next month… Matt: Oh congratulations, that’s fantastic news! Are you excited? William: I am very excited, yes! Erm and er.. yeah… so… Matt: Are you getting married in a church? William: No, we’re not getting married in a church – but er, no, we’re doing the modern thing - Matt: You’re doing the modern thing rather than the traditional… William: Yes, that’s right. Matt: Very good. William: That’s my news. Matt: That’s splendid news. I also have some very exciting news… William: You don’t! Do you also..? Matt: I… I also have some exciting news. William: What’s your news? Matt: In one month’s time, my wife is having a baby boy – our first child.
William: Is she?! Matt: Yes, she is. William: Wow, I didn’t know that! When did you… well, you must have found out a long time ago… Matt: I found out a long time ago, but we’ve been keeping it quiet. William: Oooh, well congratulations! Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl? Matt: I said it was a boy. William: Oh yes! Good point… OK Matt, that’s all I wanted to tell you. Matt: Ah, fantastic – well, good luck. William: Good luck to you too. Bye bye.
OK, Matt’s left the studio now. Don’t worry if you didn’t catch all of that conversation – but let’s listen back now to a few interesting bits.
MUSIC
William: Did you notice that after I told Matt my good news, he asked me some questions?
Example Matt: … Are you excited? Are you getting married in a church?
William: Matt is interested in my wedding. In general, when people tell you something new, something exciting – a very good way to respond is to ask lots and lots of questions!
What other language did Matt use?
Example Matt: Oh congratulations, that’s fantastic news!
William: This is a very common and a very easy way to respond to some good news. Simply describe the news as ‘fantastic’ or ‘great’ or brilliant – or use any other very positive word…
Example Matt: Oh congratulations, that’s fantastic news!... That’s splendid news – I also have some very exciting news…
William: But you don’t need to say, ‘That’s fantastic news’. When we’re talking, we can often use these very positive words like ‘fantastic’ or ‘splendid’ by themselves…
Example Matt: Ah, fantastic, well, good luck…
William: We can also use the words ‘how’ and ‘what’ by saying ‘how splendid’ or ‘what splendid news’ but you don’t hear these phrases very often nowadays – they’re quite old-fashioned.
One other thing to mention is that good news often involves surprise. Listen again to me being surprised by Matt’s good news:
Example William: In one month’s time, my wife is having a baby boy – our first child. William: Is she?! Matt: Yes, she is. William: Wow, I didn’t know that! When did you… well, you must have found out a long time ago…
‘Wow’ - W-O-W - is a word that we use when we are really surprised by something – and pleased!
END MUSIC
William: Well, some interesting language there. I just want to play you a couple of other phrases that you might find useful – here’s the first one:
Example Elena: I’m really pleased to hear that.
William: I’m really pleased to hear that. And here’s another phrase –
Example Elena: I’m really happy for you.
William: I’m really happy for you. These two phrases are a little bit more formal, so you’re not so likely to hear them. But they are very useful for when you’re writing to congratulate someone – maybe in a card. END SIG
You can listen again to the dialogue from this programme, and practise today’s language point, on the How To webpage on BBC Learning English dot com. Goodbye! How to… Gossip
Neil: Hello, welcome to ‘How to…’ with me, Neil Edgeller. In this programme we’ll take a look at how to gossip; that is how to talk about other people’s private lives. Perhaps you’ve heard a rumour – an interesting piece of news that may or may not be true – and you really want to tell someone else. Insert Have you heard about Mike? I’ve got the juiciest bit of gossip ever Have you heard the latest gossip?
Neil: So how do you do it? How do you start that kind of conversation? Find out how to gossip in this week’s How to…
Neil: The other night I met up with some old friends and colleagues from my previous job. We started chatting about people we used to work with and they had some very interesting news about some of our former colleagues, Mike and Sue, who are both married… but to other people, not to each other. Listen to what my friend Kate tells me. What’s the news? Here’s a clue: she uses the word ‘snog’, which means a very long kiss. Insert Listen, don’t tell anyone else, ok, because if word gets out people will know it’s me who told you, but the thing is, have you heard about Mike? Well, wait till I tell you, you’ll never guess what I saw last week. I was just coming out of the building and they were having a huge snog. Can you believe it?
Neil: Well, that is interesting news… Kate says she was leaving work one night and she saw Mike and Sue having a snog – a very long and intimate kiss. It’s information which Mike and Sue want to keep a secret. How did Kate start the conversation? She said “Listen, don’t tell anyone else, ok…” This is a typical way to start gossiping. You don’t want people to find out you have been talking about them. Listen again. Insert Listen, don’t tell anyone else, ok, because if word gets out people will know it’s me who told you, but the thing is, have you heard about Mike?
Neil: Gossip is secret, but it also makes an exciting conversation. Listen to what Kate says to build up the excitement. Insert …you’ll never guess what I saw last week.
Neil: “You’ll never guess what I saw last week.” You can use ‘You’ll never guess…’ when you want to introduce some exciting news or gossip. And did you hear how she ended the story? She made a comment about the gossip. She said “Can you believe it”. Insert Can you believe it?
Neil: Now, this piece of gossip about Mike and Sue’s affair is very popular with my friends at the moment. Each one of them I spoke to told me the same story. Have a listen to David. What phrase does he use to introduce the gossip? Insert Hey Neil, come here. Have you heard the latest gossip? Well, it turns out Sue is having an affair with Mike. I know - she’s only been married two years. Don’t tell anyone, you know. I don’t like to spread gossip.
Neil: He says, “Have you heard the latest gossip?” Then he tells me about Mike and Sue’s affair, and at the end he says “Don’t tell anyone”. Just like my first friend, he doesn’t want people to know he’s been gossiping. Listen again.
Insert Hey Neil, come here. Have you heard the latest gossip? Well, it turns out Sue is having an affair with Mike. I know - she’s only been married two years. Don’t tell anyone, you know. I don’t like to spread gossip.
Neil: My last friend, Jane, is a real gossip. She absolutely loves gossiping, so she’s extremely excited about this news about Mike and Sue. Listen to how she describes the gossip. Insert I’ve got the juiciest bit of gossip ever, but obviously you didn’t hear it from me. You know Mike and you know Sue? They’re seeing each other!
Neil: She says she’s got the “juiciest bit of gossip ever”. We can call very interesting gossip ‘juicy’. This is very common, but quite informal. And just like my other two friends, she doesn’t want people to know she knows, so she says “you didn’t hear it from me”. In other words, if I tell anyone else about Mike and Sue, I mustn’t tell them I heard it from Jane. Here she is again.
Insert I’ve got the juiciest bit of gossip ever, but obviously you didn’t hear it from me. You know Mike and you know Sue? They’re seeing each other!
Neil: So, to recap. If you want to tell someone some gossip, you should use a phrase which makes the story exciting. Insert …you’ll never guess what I saw last week I’ve got the juiciest bit of gossip ever. You’ll never guess what I’ve just heard.
Neil: But you need to be careful too. Remember that you don’t want to be caught gossiping, so you need a phrase like one of these.
Insert Listen, don’t tell anyone else, ok. …you didn’t hear it from me. Don’t tell anyone, you know. I don’t like to spread gossip.
Neil: That’s all for this How to… Next time you have some juicy gossip I hope you have the right phrases to tell someone. But whatever you do, don’t tell anyone I told you.
How To… Take offence
William: Hello and welcome to How To, my name is William Kremer. Occasionally, at work or at home, someone will say something that is very rude and offensive. You’ll be shocked and angry… we say in English that you take offence at their words – you take offence. In today’s programme, we’re going to look at a few things you might say in response to somebody very rude.
You’re going to hear Martin and Claire. They work in the same team. Martin isn’t very pleased with Claire’s work and he’s decided to tell her. But it’s important to note that Martin isn’t Claire’s boss, he’s just a co-worker or a colleague. And he isn’t a very nice person, so Claire is going to take offence at some of the things he says.
In this first clip, Martin mentions a discount which Claire gave a client without asking his advice. Claire wants to stop Martin speaking so that she can defend herself. How does she do this?
Martin: You know, for example that business with Argentinet, that discount that you gave them. You know, you didn’t ask for anyone’s advice and you know, I just sort of found out about it in the pub. Erm… Claire: Just a minute, hang on, just a second.
William: Claire says, ‘Just a minute, hang on, just a second.’ Listen again.
Martin: Erm… Claire: Just a minute, hang on, just a second.
William: Now, these phrases – ‘Just a minute’, ‘hang on’ and ‘just a second’ - can be used by themselves, they don’t have to be used all together. In the next clip, Martin is very rude to Claire. He says that at work she spends all her time on social networking sites on the Internet, or polishing her nails. How does Claire react to that?
Martin: I don’t necessarily see that er… spending most of the day on social networking sites and polishing your nails has much to do with that so… Claire: Just a second! Just a second Martin, I really really take exception to that! OK, maybe I’m on social networking sites because that’s the way business works, but when we’re talking about ‘polishing your nails’ I really really do take exception to that!
William: Claire stops Martin by saying ‘Just a second, Martin.’ Claire is using Martin’s name here to give her words extra weight and perhaps to gain a slight power over Martin. After he’s stopped talking, she says ‘I really really take exception to that!’ Saying ‘I take exception to that’ is quite a strong way of indicating that you’re upset and offended by something someone has said. Listen again.
Martin: I don’t necessarily see that er… spending most of the day on social networking sites and polishing your nails has much to do with that so… Claire: Just a second! Just a second Martin, I really really take exception to that! OK, maybe I’m on social networking sites because that’s the way business works, but when we’re talking about ‘polishing your nails’ I really really do take exception to that!
William: Notice how Claire gives extra emphasis to what she says by using really and do. At the end of that clip, she doesn’t say ‘I take exception to that’ but ‘I really really do take exception to that’ – she’s telling Martin that she is very offended indeed.
After something has been said it’s not possible to remove those words from history. But actually, we can ask someone to say that they regret saying something. Listen to this:
Voice: Take that back!
William: ‘Take that back!’ Or you could say…
Voice: I think you should take back what you just said!
William: ‘I think you should take back what you just said!’ The speaker is asking someone to say ‘sorry’ for what they just said. This is quite a serious phrase, so only use it if you’re very upset by what someone has said.
Let’s go back to Martin and Claire. Martin now makes a very offensive remark to Claire - he says that she has walked straight from the classroom and into the office. He means that she doesn’t have any work experience. Claire is so offended, that she threatens to make a complaint to their boss. Listen:
Martin: How do you think it looks if, you know, somebody who’s frankly walked straight out of a classroom into this office is driving around in a lim- Claire: I’m sorry, I’m sorry Martin… I’m just, I’m not going to let you talk to me like that. I think you’ve got a very very rude rude manner, your choice of words is offensive and sexist and I’m really… I’m very close to putting in a complaint about you with that kind of language.
William: Claire says, ‘I’m sorry, Martin…’.
Claire: I’m sorry, I’m sorry Martin… I’m just, I’m not going to let you talk to me like that. William: Claire isn’t actually apologising. Saying ‘Sorry’ here is a way of saying she can’t agree, that she has a very different opinion. She says ‘Sorry, I’m not going to let you talk to me like that’ and then she explains why she doesn’t like the way Martin talks to her. ‘Sorry, I’m not going to let you talk to me like that’. Listen again.
Claire: I’m sorry Martin… I’m just, I’m not going to let you talk to me like that. I think you’ve got a very very rude rude manner, your choice of words is offensive and sexist and I’m really… I’m very close to putting in a complaint about you with that kind of language.
William: So we’ve looked at a few different ways there that you can show that you’re shocked or upset by something that someone has said. It’s interesting language, but I hope it’s not very useful to you!
How to … Asking permission Jackie: Hello this is BBC Learning English dot com, with me, Jackie Dalton. This programme is about asking permission – which means asking someone if you're allowed to do something. We're going to hear examples from around the office. Listen to this first example, which shows one of the most common ways of asking permission.
Examples Hinna, can I use your computer for a minute?
Jackie: Very simple: the phrase 'can I' followed by the verb. But what verb form comes after the phrase 'can I'? Listen to these two examples of asking.
Examples Can he call you back later? Can I use your scissors?
Jackie: 'Can' is the base form of the verb, which is the infinitive without 'to. Now let's listen to a slightly different way of asking permission.
Examples Oh Emily, I forgot to bring my phone charger today, could I borrow yours for a minute please?
Jackie: Instead of 'can I borrow', we hear 'could I…?' Using 'Could I…?' instead of 'Can I…?' sounds slightly more formal. You might use 'could' if you want to be more polite. Like the word 'can', 'could' is always used with the base infinitive form of the verb.
Examples Could she write me a summary of the report?
Jackie: You may have spotted a phrase that came up at the end of a couple of the phrases we heard earlier.
Examples Hinna, can I use your computer for a minute? Oh Emily, I forgot to bring my phone charger today, could I borrow yours for a minute please?
Jackie: Both speakers asked permission to do something 'for a minute'. They didn't literally mean they would spend sixty seconds using the computer or borrowing the phone charger. But it's a way of showing that you only want to borrow something for a short time and you're trying not to bother the other person too much.
Examples Hinna, can I use your computer for a minute? Oh Emily, I forgot to bring my phone charger today, could I borrow yours for a minute please?
Jackie: We also heard the magic word 'please' at the end of that question. Parents often get very cross with their children if they ask permission without using the word 'please'. But the reality is that it's often fine not to include it. We tend to use intonation in our questions to sound polite, so we don't always need the extra 'please'. Listen to these examples. The first doesn't sound very polite.
Examples Could I have that. (demanding)
Jackie: But the second…
Examples Could I have that? (questioning)
Jackie: Sounds more like a polite question than an aggressive demand because of the way the voice goes up.
Examples Could I have that. (demanding) Could I have that? (questioning)
Jackie: Listen to some more examples of the differences.
Examples Could I see you. Could I see you?
Jackie: The second phrase came across as a polite question, unlike the first. What about here?
Examples Could you give that to me? Could you give that to me.
Jackie: This time, the first question was sounded more polite because of the way it was asked. As long as you ask your question in a polite tone of voice, you need a 'please' – having said that, there's never anything wrong with using 'please' when asking permission.
Jackie: Let's look at another structure for asking permission.
Examples Matt, would it be OK if I took the afternoon off on Friday?
Jackie: Would it be OK if – fairly informal way of asking permission. You could also say 'Would it be alright if…?' What verb form follows these questions?
Examples Matt, would it be OK if I took the afternoon off on Friday? I'm not feeling well today would it be alright if I did this tomorrow?
Jackie: In both these cases, the phrases are followed by the past subjunctive form of the verb. However, you could also use the present form – this sounds slightly less formal. Examples Matt, would it be OK if I take the afternoon off on Friday? I'm not feeling well today would it be alright if I do this tomorrow?
Jackie: So 'Would it be OK if…? and 'Would it be alright if…?' can be followed by the present or, for a slightly more formal effect, the past subjunctive. If you want to be even more polite, another variation on the structures we've just heard is 'Would I be able to…?'
Examples Would I be able to talk to you about something?
Jackie: 'Would I be able to' – a polite way of asking permission. Now it's time to check you've understood the things we've looked at. Which of these requests is correct – the first or the second?
Examples Can she sits here? Can she sit here?
Jackie: The second phrase is correct – remember 'Do you mind if…?' is used with the base infinitive verb form. Now, w hich of these two questions sounds the most formal?
Examples Would I be able to talk to you about something? Is it OK if I leave early?
Jackie: The first question is more formal 'Would I be able to…?' sounds more distant than 'Is it OK if I…? That's all for this week, but in a later programme we'll be exploring some of the structures you can use to answer these questions.
How to … Date: 2015-12-17; view: 785
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