Explain the meaning of the following in your own words.

III

Jack Chesney's room about half an hour later.

BABBS (entering). Hello! (To CHARLEY, absent-mindedly) Did you meet my uncle I mean your aunt?

CHARLEY. No, she wasn't on the 11 o'clock train. BABBS (intent on his own problem). I hope she isn't lost.

JACK. Well, she'll probably be on the 12:15.

BABBS (unburdening himself to his friends). He is going to send me down!

JACK (surprised). What?!! You'd think the fellow would be sport enough to admit he'd knocked you down.

BABBS. He didn't knock me down. I tripped. And I have witnesses to prove it.

JACK. Really? Who?

BABBS. You and Charley.

CHARLEY (teasing BABBS). Me? I wasn't anywhere near the place.

JACK (playing up to CHARLEY). And I was on the cricket field

BABBS. You were both sitting on the top step and don't forget that at Redcliffe's office tomorrow.

JACK. Oh, now I remember — we were sitting on the top step.

CHARLEY. Yes, and I was sitting in your lap.

JACK. I say, Charley, you can't be there tomorrow morning? CHARLEY. Of course not. I'll be dragging my auntie about.

BABBS. But, Charley!

JACK. And I have got to see the Vice-Chancellor.

BABBS. Now look, fellows, you can't do this! It's a matter of life and death. If you are not there tomorrow, I'll be sent down and my uncle won't take me into the firm, and then my family will send me back to the sheep ranch in New Zealand, and when I arrive, they'll be waiting for me and calling to me.

CHARLEY. Who?

BABBS. The sheep! Thirty-five thousand dirty smelly sheep, and every one of them saying 'Ba-a-bbs, Ba-a-bbs, Ba-a-bbs'. (CHARLEY and JACK laugh.)

CHARLEY (good-humouredly). We were only joking. Don't worry, Babbs, we won't let you down.

BABBS. (relieved). You'd better not. The last time I was rusticated my family kept me in New Zealand for two years. If it happens again, I'll be a shepherd the rest of my life. (There is a knock on the door.)

BRASSET (entering after CHARLEY'S 'Come in'). Beg pardon, milord. I've just come from Mr. Wiggins with your costume. It's ready to try on. (BRASSET means BABBS's costume for the amateur performance in which BABBS is to play the part of an old lady.)

BABBS. Thank you, Brasset. I'll do it right away. (BABBS and BRASSET go out.)

JACK (hearing another knock on the door, shouts). Come in! SIR FRANCIS (entering). Don't shout at me, son. I'm bringing you your allowance.

JACK (glad to see his father and still more glad to hear about the allowance). Dad!

SIR FRANCIS. How are you, Jack?

JACK. Splendid, sir! Charley, I want you to meet my dad. Dad, this is Charley Wykeham.

CHARLEY. How do you do, Sir Francis?

SIR FRANCIS. Hello, Wykeham.

CHARLEY. Well, I'll be running along. I'll be in my room if you want me, Jack. Good-bye, Sir Francis.

SIR FRANCIS. Good-bye, Wykeham. (CHARLEY goes out.)

JACK (looking at SIR FRANCIS with admiration). I say, you are a handsome devil!

SIR FRANCIS. Not half bad for fifty-one, eh?

JACK. No one will ever believe it. Good-looking, charming, debonair!

SIR FRANCIS. No need going on, Jack. Your cheeks are already made up. (Referring to the cigar JACK has been smoking) I wish I could afford cigars like these.

JACK. Oh, can't you?

SIR FRANCIS. No. Now that I've come into the family title, I've also come into the family debts.

JACK (unpleasantly surprised). Debts?

SIR FRANCIS. You know, red ink and all that sort of thing. I'm afraid, Jack, for the next few years we are going to be known as charming, educated, cultured paupers.

JACK. Well, it ruins me with Kitty.

SIR FRANCIS. What's that?

JACK. Oh, nothing. I was just thinking aloud.

SIR FRANCIS. There's one real hope though. I think I have an appointment for you in New Zealand.

JACK (shocked). New Zealand!

SIR FRANCIS. Wonderful place! Great sheep-raising country!

JACK (nervously). Yes, I've heard about that. (After a pause, hopefully) I've an idea. Couldn't this all be settled by a wealthy marriage?

SIR FRANCIS. Oh, no. I rather dislike that sort of thing, Jack. If I were you —

JACK. Listen. Charley Wykeham's aunt Dona Lucia d'Alvadores is coming here to lunch today. She is a wealthy widow.

SIR FRANCIS. No! Don't do that, Jack! I wouldn't advise you marrying just for money.

JACK. But not me. Dad! You!

SIR FRANCIS. Me?!! Now you, young devil! I'll get along, son. Don'1 worry about me.

JACK. I didn't, sir. I'm afraid I was being very selfish.

SIR FRANCIS. What's that?

JACK. You see, Dad, I'm in love. But without any money I haven't the right.

SIR FRANCIS. What is she like?

JACK (dreamily). Oh, she — she's like the stars, the moon and the sun!

SIR FRANCIS. Is she now? Sounds like the real thing.

JACK. She is, sir. I was going to propose to her at lunch today but —

SIR FRANCIS. What's the matter, Jack? Won't she wait?

JACK. I think she would, but she has a guardian.

SIR FRANCIS. Your mother and I eloped under similar circumstances Well, of course, I had a little income.

JACK. Yes, an income can be a wonderful thing.

SIR FRANCIS. It certainly can. (After some consideration) How old is this Charley's aunt?

JACK. Oh, I don't know. Probably ninety, like most aunts.

SIR FRANCIS (thinking aloud). At ninety they don't bother you much. (To JACK) And they say she is very wealthy?

JACK. They say she has millions.

SIR FRANCIS (who has taken a decision). Well, I'm sure your mother would understand. I'll have luncheon with you today.

JACK. Oh, no, Dad! I couldn't let you do anything like this for me. A loveless marriage!

SIR FRANCIS. But I'm doing it for love, sir. (Rising to go out) I think I'll run along and shave. No man should propose on a full beard. After all, it'll be rather nice to have the stars, the sun and the moon for a daughter-in-law! (He goes out.)

CHARLEY (rushing in with a telegram). Jack, she is not coming!

JACK. Don't tell me that! She must come! Send her a wire. The girls won't stay without a chaperon.

CHARLEY. There is not time enough. (Pointing through the window to KITTY and AMY who are crossing the lawn in front of the house) Jack, look!

ВABBS (wearing woman's clothes and made up as an old lady, entering). Well, boys, how do you like me?

JACK and CHARLEY (at first puzzled, then recognizing BABBS, together). Auntie!!!

BABBS (looking around). Where is she? CHARLEY. She couldn't come. JACK. So we've got to get another chaperon.

BABBS. Why don't you ask Mrs. —— (Realizing what they mean and rushing to the door) Oh, no!

JACK (grabbing BABBS by the arm). Oh, yes.

CHARLEY. If you could fool us, you can fool the girls. Come on, Babbs, be a sport!

BABBS (trying to wriggle out). I won't be a lady for you or anybody else, and I mean it.

JACK (releasing him). Very well. (Significantly) You know, Charley, I've just been thinking—I don't remember seeing Babbs trip on the stairs last night.

CHARLEY (taking up the cue). Come to think of it, I don't either. JACK. And if we didn't see him, we can't very well tell Redcliffe that we did.

CHARLEY. Of course not. That would be lying! BABBS (alarmed). But you've got to! He'll send me down if you don't. JACK. Then you'll be able to see all those lovely sheep. BABBS. This is blackmail.

JACK. Yes. It's very simple: you help us and we'll help you. (There is a knock on the door.) Just a moment! (To BABBS) You'd better make up your mind.

BABBS. But, fellows! This is all so unfair! You have promised! Are you going to take advantage of an old friendship?

JACK. The answer is 'Yes'. (The knock on the door is repeated.)

BABBS (cornered). Well, what am I to do?

JACK (pushing BABBS into an armchair). Just keep your voice up and your dress down. (JACK opens the door and lets in KITTY and AMY.)

BABBS (to the girls, in a small voice, which he speaks from now on when posing as a lady). How do you do, my dears?

AMY (holding out a bunch of flowers). We — We brought you these. BABBS (taking the flowers). For me? Are these for me? How sweet of you, my dears.

[This is how Babbs was blackmailed into playing the role of Charley's aunt. The girls did not suspect anything. True enough, the auntie seemed a bit odd and had rather strange ways, but Kitty and Amy put it down to her advanced age. The girls stayed for lunch. But the moment the party were about to sit down at the table they saw Mr. Spettigue heading for their house. Jack, Charley and the girls locked themselves up in the adjoining room, leaving Babbs to deal with the situation alone. ]

MR SPETTIGUE (entering). I wish to see Mr. Chesney. BABBS. Don't shout. I'm not a barmaid, you know.

MR SPETTIGUE. Where are Mr. Chesney and Mr. Wykeham? BABBS. And where are your manners, you drunken sot? Remove your hat in the presence of a lady, or I'll write to The TIMES about this. (MR SPETTIGUE takes off his top hat.) That's better. What is it?

MR. SPETTIGUE. I wish to see the two young gentlemen at once. BABBS. Well, you can't see them because I'm the only gentleman present.

MR SPETTIGUE (in utter amazement). What?!!

BABBS. I mean I'm—

MR SPETTIGUE. I distinctly saw two young ladies coming here. BABBS. Well, that's curious because I'm the only young lady here. Of course in your condition you probably saw me twice —coming and going.

MR. SPETTIGUE (taken aback). They've probably gone into the garden.

BABBS. Then why don't you follow them? If you're able to walk in your condition —

MR. SPETTIGUE (with righteous indignation). Madam, I'm perfectly sober!

BABBS (laughing loudly). Sober! Ha-ha! Sober! I advise you to sign the temperance pledge and be saved before it is too late. (MR SPETIGUE, shocked at BABBS's behaviour, puts on his hat and goes out of the room. BABBS throws the fan after him and knocks off his hat.)

MR. SPETTIGUE (turning round, angrily). Something just hit me. BABBS (unaffected by his anger). Probably the tenth drink. (Calling to the girls as MR SPETTIGUE goes out) You can come out now, my dears! (KITTY, AMY, CHARLEY and JACK come out of the adjoining room.)

AMY. How sweet of you, Dona Lucia!

KITTY. Oh, you were an angel to do it for us!

BRASSET (entering, to JACK). I just saw your father coming up the stairs, sir.

JACK (taking BABBS aside, in a whisper). Now you be careful when my dad gets here.

BABBS. Why? Am I related to him too?

JACK. Of course not, you idiot! You are Charley's aunt from Brazil, where the nuts come from. (There is a knock on the door.)

KITTY (horrified). Oh, it's Mr. Spettigue again!

JACK. No, it's my father. (To SIR FRANCIS entering the room) Hello, Dad!

SIR FRANCIS. Hello, Jack!

JACK (introducing the girls). Miss Spettigue. Miss Verdun, Kitty. My father.

SIR FRANCIS. I'm delighted. (Not seeing BABBS, to JACK) Has she come yet?

JACK. Oh, Charley, will — will you introduce your aunt?

CHARLEY. Oh, yes, of course. Dona Lucia d'Alvadores. Sir Francis Chesney, Jack's father.

BABBS. How do you do, Sir Francis?

SIR FRANCIS. How do you do?

BABBS. I'm Charley's aunt from Brazil, where the nuts come from.

SIR FRANCIS. My son has told me how wealthy— how charming you were and after seeing you I can only say that he is a master at understatement.

BABBS. How sweet of you! (Pointing to SIR FRANCIS'S buttonhole) My! What a lovely flower!

SIR FRANCIS. Do you like it? Will you accept it? (He gives the flower to BABBS.)

BABBS (taking the flower). Thank you. Sir Francis. I'll have it

stuffed. BRASSET (to JACK). Luncheon is ready, sir.

JACK. Oh, thank you, Brasset. Dad, will you take in Dona

Lucia?

SIR FRANCIS (offering his arm to BABBS). But, of course. CHARLEY. Will you seat us, Auntie?

BABBS. Yes. Now the girls —— the girls will be here next to me. CHARLEY (looking at BABBS, emphatically). But, Auntie, you have to carve la-a-amb.

BABBS (taking the hint). Well, in that case the young ladies will sit there and there. (He seats KITTY next to JACK and. AMY next to CHARLEY.)

MR. SPETTIGUE (dashing into the room, to the frightened girls). So I was right after all! I've found you! Come up, come up I -KITTY (scared). I can assure you—We thought—

MR. SPETTIGUE. You thought I had gone to London, that's why you both came here.

BABBS (pointing to MR. SPETTIGUE's hat with his fan). Where did you get that hat? Take it off!

MR. SPETTIGUE. You are a very silly old woman. And please don't interfere.

SIR. FRANCIS. Look here, sir. You cannot put such an affront upon Mr. Wykeham's friends.

MR. SPETTIGUE. I can only say that I'm deeply annoyed to find my niece and my ward coming here without my permission to — KITTY (promptly). To see Mr. Wykeham's aunt.

SIR FRANCIS. Allow me to introduce you. Dona Lucia d'Alvadores. Mr. Spettigue.

MR. SPETTIGUE (with sudden interest). Dona Lucia d'AIvadores? The famous millionairess? (All sugar and honey) How do you do?

BABBS. How do you do, Mr. Spettigue? I'm Charley's aunt from Brazil — where the nuts come from.

MR SPETTIGUE. Please forgive me for being so rude. Now that I see that my wards came only to pay their respects to a most charming woman, I'm ashamed of my ungentlemanly conduct.

BABBS. Oh, come, come! We can't be gentlemen all the time, can we? Now that you are here, Mr. Spettigue, won't you stay for lunch?

MR SPETTIGUE. Oh, if you wish it! Am I forgiven?

BABBS. Forgiven? Will you accept this flower as a peace offering? (BABBS gives MR SPETTIGUE the flower he got from SIR FRANCIS.)

MR SPETTIGUE (taking the flower, delighted). Oh, thank you!

SIR FRANCIS (who is jealous, offering his arm to BABBS). Madam, allow me.

MR SPETTIGUE. No, no, allow me. (They both escort BABBS to the table.)

ASSIGNMENTS

Explain the meaning of the following in your own words.

1. You'd think the fellow was sport enough to admit he'd knocked you down. 2. "Don't shout at me, son. I'm bringing you your allowance," said Sir Francis. 3. Now that I've come into the family title I've also come into the family debts. You know, red ink and all that sort of thing. 4. Sir Francis said that he and Jack's mother had eloped under similar circumstances. 5. The girls won't stay without a chaperon. Babbs advised Mr. Spettigue to sign the temperance pledge and be saved before it was too late. 7. I am Charley's aunt from Brazil, where the nuts come from.¹ 8. My son told me how wealthy — how charming you are and after seeing you I can only say that he is a master at understatement.

Make up sentences based on the text. Use the following:

rely on sb, fail sb, agree to sth, tell (want) sb to do sth, refuse sth, give sth up, to be used to sth, blackmail sb into doing sth, demand sth, dream of doing sth, to be against doing sth, to be impolite to sb, to be important for sb, throw sth at sb, smile (look) at sb, depend on sb, accuse sb of sth, call on sb, call at sb's place, guess sth, stay for lunch, see sb do sth, to be surprised (shocked, indignant) at sth, point to sth

Date: 2015-12-11; view: 1172