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MacDara appears in the doorway of the room with a cup of tea and some griddle-cake in his hand.

MACDARA.

I've brought you out a cup of tea, master. I thought it long you were sitting here.

MAOlLSHEACHLAINN

(taking it)

God bless you, MacDara.

MACDARA.

Go west, Cuimin. There's a place at the table for you now.

CUIMIN

(rising and going in)

I may as well. Give me a call, boy, when Diarmaid comes.

MAOILSHEACHLAINN.

This is a great day, MacDara.

MACDARA.

It is a great day and a glad day, and yet it is a sorrowful day.

MAOILSHEACHLAINN.

How can the day of your home-coming be sorrowful?

MACDARA.

Has not every great joy a great sorrow at its core? Does not the joy of home-coming enclose the pain of departing? I have a strange feeling, master, I have only finished a long journey, and I feel as if I were about to take another long journey. I meant this to be a home-coming. but it seems only like a meeting on the way.. . .When my mother stood up to meet me with her arms stretched out to me, I thought of Mary meeting her Son on the Dolorous Way.

MAOILSHEACHLAINN.

That was a queer thought. What was it that drew you home?

MACDARA.

Some secret thing that I have no name for. Some feeling that I must see my mother, and Colm, and Sighle, again. A feeling that I must face some great adventure with their kisses on my lips. I seemed to see myself brought to die before a great crowd that stood cold and silent; and there were some that cursed me in their hearts for having brought death into their houses. Sad dead faces seemed to reproach me. Oh, the wise, sad faces of the dead---and the keening of the women rang in my ears. But I felt that the kisses of those three, warm on my mouth, would be as wine in my blood, strengthening me to bear what men said, and to die with only love and pity in my heart, and no bitterness.

MAOILSHEACHLAINN.

It was strange that you should see yourself like that.

MACDARA.

It was foolish. One has strange, lonesome thoughts when one is in the middle of crowds. But I am glad of that thought, for it drove me home. I felt so lonely away from here. . .My mother's hair is greyer than it was.

MAOILSHEACHLAINN.

Aye, she has been ageing. She has had great sorrows: your father dead and you banished. Colm is grown a fine, strapping boy.

MACDARA.

He is. There is some shyness between Colm and me. We have not spoken yet as we used to.

MAOILSHEACHLAINN.

When boys are brought up together and then parted for a long time there is often shyness between them when they meet again. . . Do you find Sighle changed?

MACDARA.

No; and, yet--- yes. Master, she is very beautiful. I did not know a woman could be so beautiful. I thought that all beauty was in the heart, that beauty was a secret thing that could be seen only with the eyes of reverie, or in a dream of some unborn splendour. I had schooled myself to think physical beauty an unholy thing. I tried to keep my heart virginal; and sometimes in the street of a city when I have stopped to look at the white limbs of some beautiful child, and have felt the pain that the sight of great beauty brings, I have wished that I could blind my eyes so that I might shut out the sight of everything that



tempted me. At times I have rebelled against that, and have cried aloud that God would not have filled the world with beauty, even to the making drunk of the sight, if beauty were not of heaven. But, then, again, I have said, `This is the subtlest form of temptation; this is to give to one's own desire the sanction of God's will.' And I have hardened my heart and kept myself cold and chaste as the top of a high mountain. But now I think I was wrong, for beauty like Sighle's must be holy.

MAOILSHEACHLAINN.

Surely a good and comely girl is holy. You question yourself too much, MacDara. You brood too much. Do you remember when you were a gossoon, how you cried over the wild duck whose wing you broke by accident with a stone, and made a song about the crane whose nest you found ravished, and about the red robin you found perished on the doorstep? And how the priest laughed because you told him in confession that you had stolen drowned lilies from the river?

MACDARA

(laughing)

Aye, it was at a station in Diarmaid of the Bridge's, and when the priest laughed my face got red, and everyone looked at us, and I got up and ran out of the house.

MAOILSHEACHLAINN

(laughing)

I remember it well. We thought it was what you told him you were in love with his house-keeper.

MACDARA.

It's little but I was, too. She used to give me apples out of the priest's apple-garden. Little brown russet apples, the sweetest I ever tasted. I used to think that the apples of the Hesperides that the Children of Tuireann went to quest must have been like them.

MAOILSHEACHLAINN.

It's a wonder but you made a poem about them.

MACDARA.

I did. I made a poem in Deibhidhe of twenty quatrains.

MAOILSHEACHLAINN.

Did you make many songs while you were away?

MACDARA.

When I went away first my heart was as if dead and dumb and I could not make any songs. After a little while, when I was going through the sweet, green country, and I used to come to little towns where I'd see children playing, my heart seemed to open again like hard ground that would be watered with rain. The first song

that I made was about the children that I saw playing in the street of Kilconnell. The next song that I made was about an old dark man that I met on the causeway of Aughrim. I made a glad, proud song when I saw the broad Shannon flow under the bridge of Athlone. I made many a song after that before I reached Dublin.

MAOILSHEACHLAINN.

How did it fare with you in Dublin?

MACDARA.

I went to a bookseller and gave him the book of my songs to print. He said that he dared not print them; that the Gall would put him in prison and break up his printing-press. I was hungry and I wandered through the streets. Then a man who saw me read an Irish poster on the wall spoke to me and asked me where I came from. I told him my story. In a few days he came to me and said that he had found work for me to teach Irish and Latin and Greek in a school. I went to the school and taught in it for a year. I wrote a few poems and they were printed in a paper. One day the Brother who was over the school came to me and asked me was it I that had written those poems. I

said it was. He told me then that I could not teach in the school any longer. So I went away.

MAOILSHEACHLAINN.

What happened to you after that?

MACDARA.

I wandered in the streets until I saw a notice that a teacher was wanted to teach a boy. I went to the house and a lady engaged me to teach her little son for ten shillings a week. Two years I spent at that. The boy was a winsome child, and he grew into my heart. I thought it a wonderful thing to have the moulding of a mind, of a life, in my hands. Do you ever think that, you who are a schoolmaster?

MAOILSHEACHLAINN.

It's not much time I get for thinking.

MACDARA.

I have done nothing all my life but think: think and make poems.

MAOILSHEACHLAINN.

If the thoughts and the poems are good, that is a good life's work.

MACDARA.

Aye, they say that to be busy with the things of the spirit is better than to be busy with the things of the body. But I am not sure, master. Can the Vision

Beautiful alone content a man? I think true man is divine in this, that, like God, he must needs create, he must needs do.

MAOILSHEACHLAINN.

Is not a poet a maker?

MACDARA.

No, he is only a voice that cries out, a sigh that trembles into rest. The true teacher must suffer and do. He must break bread to the people: he must go into Gethsemane and toil up the steep of Golgotha. . .Sometimes I think that to be a woman and to serve and suffer as women do is to be the highest thing. Perhaps that is why I felt it proud and wondrous to be a teacher, for a teacher does that. I gave to the little lad I taught the very flesh and blood and breath that were my life. I fed him on the milk of my kindness; I breathed into him my spirit.

MAOILSHEACHLAINN.

Did he repay you for that great service?

MACDARA.

Can any child repay its mother? Master, your trade is the most sorrowful of all trades. You are like a poor mother who spends herself in nursing children who go away and never come back to her.

MAOILSHEACHLAINN.

Was your little pupil untrue to you?

MACDARA.

Nay; he was so true to me that his mother grew jealous of me. A good mother and a good teacher are always jealous of each other. That is why a teacher's trade is the most sorrowful of all trades. If he is a bad teacher his pupil squanders away from him. If he is a good teacher his pupil's folk grow jealous of him. My little pupil's mother bade him choose between her and me.

MAOILSHEACHLAINN.

Which did he choose?

MACDARA.

He chose his mother. How could I blame him?

MAOILSHEACHLAINN.

What did you do?

MACDARA.

I shouldered my bundle and took to the roads.

MAOILSHEACHLAINN.

How did it fare with you?

MACDARA.

It fares ill with one who is so poor that he has no longer even his dreams. I was the poorest shuiler on the roads of Ireland, for I had no single illusion left to me. I could neither pray when I came to a holy well nor drink in a public-house

when I had got a little money. One seemed to me as foolish as the other.

MAOILSHEACHLAINN.

Did you make no songs in those days?

MACDARA.

I made one so bitter that when I recited it at a wake they thought I was some wandering, wicked spirit, and they put me out of the house.

MAOILSHEACHLAINN.

Did you not pray at all?

MACDARA.

Once, as I knelt by the cross of Kilgobbin, it became clear to me, with an awful clearness, that there was no God. Why pray after that? I burst into a fit of laughter at the folly of men in thinking that there is a God. I felt inclined to run through the villages and cry aloud, `People, it is all a mistake; there is no God.'

MAOILSHEACHLAINN.

MacDara, this grieves me.

MACDARA.

Then I said, `why take away their illusion? If they find out that there is no God, their hearts will be as lonely as mine.' So I walked the roads with my secret.

MAOILSHEACHLAINN.

MacDara, I am sorry for this. You must pray, you must pray.

You will find God again. He has only hidden His face from you.

MACDARA.

No, He has revealed His Face to me. His Face is terrible and sweet, Maoilsheachlainn. I know It well now.

MAOILSHEACHLAINN.

Then you found Him again?

MACDARA.

His Name is suffering. His Name is loneliness. His Name is abjection.

MAOILSHEACHLAINN.

I do not rightly understand you, and yet I think you are saying something that is true.

MACDARA.

I have lived with the homeless and with the breadless. Oh, Maoilsheachlainn, the poor, the poor! I have seen such sad childings, such bare marriage feasts, such candleless wakes! In the pleasant country places I have seen them, but oftener in the dark, unquiet streets of the city. My heart has been heavy with the sorrow of mothers, my eyes have been wet with the tears of children. The people, Maoilsheachlainn, the dumb, suffering people: reviled and outcast, yet pure and splendid and faithful. In them I saw, or seemed to see again, the Face of God. Ah, it is a tear-stained face,

blood-stained, defiled with ordure, but it is the Holy Face!

[gap: missing page in MS.]


Date: 2015-12-11; view: 573


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All start and look first towards Maire, then towards the door, the latch of which has been touched. | There is a page of MS missing here, which evidently covered the exit to the room of MacDara and the entrance of Diarmaid.
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