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MIDWIFE & WITCH’S FATHER

WICKED

Act 1

SCENE 1

 

(We see a gigantic peaked black hat being used as a symbol to celebrate the Wicked Witch’s demise. Suddenly CITIZENS OF OZ spill out, cheering and celebrating. The hat disappears and we are outside the Wizard’s Palace, in the Emerald City, capital of the Land of Oz)

 

ALL

 

GOOD NEWS!

 

SHE’S DEAD!

 

THE WITCH OF THE WEST IS DEAD!

 

THE WICKEDEST WITCH THERE EVER WAS

 

THE ENEMY OF ALL US HERE IN OZ

 

IS DEAD!

 

GOOD NEWS!

 

GOOD NEWS!

 

SOMEONE IN THE CROWD

 

Look! It’s Glinda!

 

(GLINDA, resplendent and beautiful in her gown and tiara, descends from the sky on a mechanical device that spews soap bubbles as the CELEBRANTS point and cheer.)

 

VARIOUS FANATICS

 

Is it really her? It is, it’s her! Glinda! We love yeeew, Glindaaaaa!

 

GLINDA

 

It’s good to see me, isn’t it?

 

FANATICS

 

(Shrieks)

 

Yes!

 

GLINDA

 

No need to respond—that was rhetorical.

 

(She smiles down on them)

 

Fellow Ozians—

 

(Sings)

 

LET US BE GLAD

 

LET US BE GRATEFUL

 

LET US REJOICIFY THAT GOODNESS COULD SUBDUE

 

THE WICKED WORKINGS OF YOU-KNOW-WHO

 

ISN’T IT NICE TO KNOW

 

THAT GOOD WILL CONQUER EVIL?

 

THE TRUTH WE ALL BELIEVE’LL BY AND BY

 

OUTLIVE A LIE

 

FOR YOU AND—

 

SOMEONE IN THE CROWD

 

Glinda! Exactly how dead is she?

 

GLINDA

 

Because there has been so much rumor and speculation—innuendo, outuendo—let me set the record straight: According to the Time Dragon Clock, The Melting occurred at the thirteenth hour, the direct result of a bucket of water thrown by a female child. Yes, the Wicked Witch of the West is dead.

 

SOMEONE IN THE CROWD

 

NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED

 

ANOTHER PERSON

 

NO ONE CRIES: “THEY WON’T RETURN!”

 

ALL

 

NO ONE LAYS A LILY ON THEIR GRAVE

 

MAN

 

THE GOOD MAN SCORNS THE WICKED!

 

WOMEN

 

THROUGH THEIR LIVES, OUR CHILDREN LEARN:

 

ALL

 

WHAT WE MISS

 

WHEN WE MISBEHAVE…

 

GLINDA

 

AND GOODNESS KNOWS

 

THE WICKED’S LIVES ARE LONELY

 

GOODNESS KNOWS

 

THE WICKED DIE ALONE

 

IT JUST SHOWS WHEN YOU’RE WICKED

 

YOU’RE LEFT ONLY

 

ON YOUR OWN…

 

ALL

 

YES, GOODNESS KNOWS

 

THE WICKED’S LIVES ARE LONELY

 

GOODNESS KNOWS

 

THE WICKED CRY ALONE

 

NOTHING GROWS FOR THE WICKED

 

THEY REAP ONLY

 

WHAT THEY’VE SOWN…

 

GIRL IN THE CROWD

 

Glinda, why does Wickedness happen?



 

GLINDA

 

That’s a good question. One that many people find confusifying: Are people born Wicked? Or do they have Wickedness thrust upon them? After all, she had a childhood. She had a father… who just happened to be the Governor of Munchkinland…

 

(From out of the past appears a somber-looking man: the WITCH’S FATHER)

 

WITCH’S FATHER

 

I’m off to the Assembly, dear!

 

GLINDA

 

And she had a mother. As so many do…

 

(A hauntingly beautiful woman rushes to the SOMBER MAN’S side: the WITCH’S MOTHER)

 

WITCH’S FATHER

 

OH… HOW I HATE TO GO AND LEAVE YOU LONELY

 

WITCH’S MOTHER

 

THAT’S ALRIGHT—IT’S ONLY JUST ONE NIGHT

 

WITCH’S FATHER

 

BUT KNOW THAT YOU’RE HERE IN MY HEART

 

WHILE I’M OUT OF YOUR SIGHT…

 

(The FATHER leaves, and instantly, the MOTHER wipes his kiss from her cheek. She opens a door…)

 

GLINDA

 

And like every family—they had their secrets.

 

(And her LOVER, a mysterious man whose face remains in the shadows, appears.)

 

LOVER

 

HAVE ANOTHER DRINK, MY DARK-EYED BEAUTY

 

I’VE GOT ONE MORE NIGHT LEFT HERE IN TOWN

 

SO HAVE ANOTHER DRINK OF GREEN ELIXIR

 

AND WE’LL HAVE OURSELVES A LITTLE MIXER

 

HAVE ANOTHER LITTLE SWALLOW, LITTLE LADY,

 

AND FOLLOW ME DOWN…

 

(THEY kiss; sink to the floor. The LOVER disappears. The MOTHER struggles back to her feet, now hugely pregnant—)

 

GLINDA

 

But from the moment she was born she was… well, different.

 

(Suddenly the WITCH’S MOTHER clutches herself, in pain…)

 

WITCH’S MOTHER

 

Agghhh!!

 

(The WITCH’S FATHER rushes in, along with a MIDWIFE, who happens to be an Antelope. THEY hold her—)

 

MIDWIFE

 

It’s coming…

 

WITCH’S FATHER

 

Now?

 

MIDWIFE

 

The baby’s coming…

 

WITCH’S FATHER

 

And how!

 

MIDWIFE

 

I SEE A NOSE…

 

WITCH’S FATHER

 

I SEE A CURL…

 

MIDWIFE & WITCH’S FATHER

 

IT’S A HEALTHY PERFECT LOVELY LITTLE…

 

MIDWIFE

 

Ohhhhh!

 

WITCH’S FATHER

 

Sweet Oz!

 

WITCH’S MOTHER

 

What is it? What’s wrong?

 

MIDWIFE

 

HOW CAN IT BE?

 

WITCH’S FATHER

 

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

 

MIDWIFE

 

IT’S ATROCIOUS!

 

WITCH’S FATHER

 

IT’S OBSCENE!

 


Date: 2015-12-11; view: 907


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