HOW TO NEGOTIATE AND HANDLE CONFLICTS WITH FILIPINOS

The Filipino is generally friendly, peace-loving and sociable fellow. He has a compromising character and is not inclined to confrontation.

When a Westerner's personal rights are trampled upon, his first. reaction is ordinarily to complain and fight back. The Filipino is surprised to see Westerners quarrel over disagreements on personal rights and afterwards become friends as if nothing happened at all. This is because the Filipino has been culturally brought up to value harmony. If a Filipino's rights are trampled upon, he first uses the friendly way. He often makes his feelings known through the indirect or roundabout approach. Porhim to directly confront someone will have lasting wounds which no among of friendly reconciliation! can heal. Only after the friendly means (pakikisama) are exhausted does he resort to violence (pakikibaka).

The Filipino desire for harmony does not mean the absence of actual conflict Truly enough, for him violence or a direct confrontation is not the first step. However, if put to shame, the Filipino can turn violent. Any attempt at casting doubt upon or questioning a Filipino's action, integrity and honor even if it is true can elicit vindictive reaction from him. One who publicly denounces a Filipino may only get worse results because he did not follow the cultural norm of first airing grievances privately and politely.

The average Westerner conducts his personal life and his main­tenance of law and order on principles of right or wrong; the average Filipino, on sanctions of shame, dishonor, ridicule, or impropriety. The average Westerner is forced to categorize his conduct in universal imper­sonal terms. The "law is the law" and "right is right," regardless of other considerations. The average Filipino takes the law from the concrete and personal angle. He has a shame culture and this factor greatly affects his behavior. A Filipino feels that saving his honor is more important that the truth. The Westerner’s passion for the truth no matter who is hurt is illustrated in exposing the misdeeds of the departed. But this is not the case for the Filipino. Any superior or official's misdeeds are buried with him; his memory is honored for he has gone.

Take the case of the concept of justice. Justice for the Filipino is not something abstract. Being just is something concrete, visible; someone from whom you can elicit sympathy or pity. Justice is the judge, the officer, the superior. The ethics of justice for the Filipino is based on the value of harmony. Justice for Filipinos is not individualistic but communitarian. The Filipino's concept of justice is "inner self-worth," not necessarily equality to all.

Negotiating with Filipinos requires a deep sense of respect for elders and for authority. It should be done with care and diplomacy in order not to hurt the "inner self-worth" of the Filipinos. The relationship of the negotiators should be a human relationship and possibly in a family atmosphere. Both negotiators should work together for the good of one another without any selfish motive of trying to outdo one another.

Date: 2015-12-11; view: 652