Invitation is Incomplete

Dear Ann Landers,

Four years ago, at the age of 17 I told my parents I was going to become engaged to a man they despised. They tried to talk me out of it but my mind was made up. I should tell you that Robert was six years my senior and handicapped. They informed me that if I accepted a ring from him, I must move out of the house at once. So I did, and moved in with Robert.

Eleven months later our child was born. We decided to get married three weeks after that by the Justice of the Peace. I phoned my mother, with whom I had little contact those several months, and told her about the baby. She said she had heard the news and she and my father would like to see me but Robert was not welcome in their home. He is very hurt but feels I should take the baby and go see them.

I don't know what to do, Ann. I know my folks are dying to see their first grandchild, but I hate to hurt my husband. Please advise.

Asunder in Ohio

Vocabulary

to despise

to become engaged

talk me out of it

my mind was made up

Robert was six years my senior

if I accepted a ring from him

contact

dying to see their first grandchild

asunder

Factual questions

1. Why did the writer of this letter move out other parents' house? Where did she move?

2. When did she telephone her mother? Why?

3. What did her mother tell her?

4. What does her – husband think she should do?

5. What specific advice does she want?

Discussion

1. What is the decision she has to make?

2. The writer says that her parents despised Robert but doesn't explain why. What reasons might they have?

3. Were the parents wise to threaten their daughter?

4. Was the daughter right to marry against her parents' wishes?

5. If someone is going to be hurt, is it better to be this woman's husband or parents?

6. If the daughter hadn't written for Ann Landers' advice, what do you think she would have done on her own?

Writing

Write a letter to Asunder in Ohio, as if you were Ann Landers, and advise her what to do.

Vocabulary

to relent

to reject

a closed door

to risk

build bridges—not

fences

From the desk ofAnn Landers

Discussion

1. Do you think Robert will be hurt by the advice that Ann Landers gives?

2. Give examples of other situations when it might be better to build bridges, not fences.

SITUATION 4.

Should She or Shouldn't She?

Dear Ann Landers,

My parents and I have been carrying on a running argument for three months. Will you please try to see all sides of the question and answer it honestly?

My boyfriend and I have been going together for over a year. We plan to get married when he finds a job he really likes. I am working but I live at home and have to play room and board.

I want to move out of my parents' house and live with my fiancé. We could make it financially with my check added to his. My folks are against it. They say it is immoral. We say it's sensible. We just might find out after we live together awhile that we don't like each other well enough to spend the rest of our lives together.

Isn't it better to shack up for a time than to get married, find out you've made a mistake and then get a divorce? How else can two people really learn all about one another's little quirks? What do you say?

M. and B.

Vocabulary

a running argument

to see all sides of the question

room and board

fiancé

to make it

(im)moral

sensible

to shack up

a divorce

a quirk

Factual questions

1. How long have the writer and her parents been arguing?

2. What is the first question she asks Ann Landers?

3. How long have M and B been going together?

4. When do they plan to marry?

5. Where is the girl living now?

6. What does she want to do? Why?

7. What do her parents think of the idea?

8. What questions does the girl ask?

Cultural notes

1. A change in moral attitudes has occurred in the United States during the last 25 or 30 years. In the past very few couples considered it respectable to live together before marriage. Accurate statistics are difficult to obtain, but the idea has now become common enough so that most people are no longer shocked, although they may still disagree about its appropriateness. Do you think the attitudes of M and B (the younger generation) and the parents (the older generation) are characteristic of the American population as a whole?

2. This girl is working but she is living at home. Her parents have asked her to contribute to the household expenses. Do you think this is often done in American families? What reasons might there be for such an arrangement?

Discussion

1. In your country, if you were working but living at home, would you be expected to pay for your room and board?

2. Is it possible for a young unmarried couple in your country to live together? Is there a difference in attitude between the younger and the older generations?

3. The writer of this letter argues that living together before marriage is sensible. Her parents argue that it is immoral. Why are they not likely to come to an agreement?

Writing

Write a reply, as if you were Ann Landers, in which you answer the girl's question:

"What do you say?"

From the desk ofAnn Landers

Vocabulary

evidence

a survey

to play house

a ceremony

to tend

to file (a divorce)

Discussion

1. Ann Landers refers directly to the parents' moral argument by making an undefined distinction between "shacking up" and "being married." Her main argument, however, is based on statistical information which challenges the "sensible" viewpoint of the girl. Do you think this is the answer she expected or hoped for? Has Ann Landers tried "to see all sides of this question and answer it honestly"?

2. What attitudes does Ann Landers reveal by using an image of childhood behavior: "play house before the ceremony"?

Situation 5.

Housework IS Work

Dear Ann Landers,

We have three children, eight, seven, and five years of age. I am busy cleaning, cooking, baking, marketing, doing the laundry, mending, canning, taking care of the yard, and keeping two cars washed and waxed. I drive the kids to Sunday school, piano lessons, dental appointments, etc.

I am not complaining, Ann. I actually enjoy my life, but my husband is making me miserable with his insistence that I go out and get a job. He keeps yelling, "Everybody's wife is working but you!"

Do I have to get pregnant again so he'll let me stay home? Please tell me if I am "not up on the latest," as my husband insists. I feel awfully inadequate.

Lima, Ohio Problem

Vocabulary

marketing

the laundry

mending

canning

waxed

dental appointments

to complain

miserable

insistence

pregnant

to be up on the latest

inadequate

Factual questions

1. How many children does this woman have? How old are they?

2. Name some of the things she has to do as a housewife.

3. Does she like doing these things?

4. What does her husband want her to do? Why? Do they need

the extra money?

5. Is she pregnant again?

6. Why does she feel "awfully inadequate"?

Cultural note

Is the husband exaggerating when he says that "everybody's wife is working"? Find out how many women in the United States held some kind of job outside the home in 1980.

Language use

"Everybody's wife is working but you" is a generalization. This is a common technique of argument. To generalize means to form an opinion on the basis of only a few facts. The husband has not actually counted the number of wives working. He simply generalizes from a small number of cases that he knows about.

Here are some common generalizations you may hear. How true do you think each one really is?

Women are the world's worst drivers.

There's no fool like an old fool.

The French are great lovers.

There are more beautiful girls in Texas than in any other state.

You can't teach an old dog new tricks.

Discussion

1. Do you think it is a good idea for a mother of three children—5, 7, and 8—to work outside of the home?

2. Child-care centers are increasingly common in the United States. These are places in the local community where pre-school children can be taken care of while the mother is working. Are child-care centers necessary, or available, in your country?

3. In your country are wives expected or allowed to work? Does a husband feel embarrassed or ashamed if his wife has a paying job outside the home? Does a wife feel embarrassed or ashamed if she as well as her husband works?

Writing

Write a letter, as if you here Ann Landers, in which you state your opinion about the problem from Lima, Ohio.

From the desk ofAnn Landers

Vocabulary

to shell out

semi-conscious

a rubber band

snap out of it

Cultural note

Ann Landers is mistaken about the date when Lincoln freed the slaves. Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation in the middle of the Civil War on January 1, 1863. Slavery was not completely ended until the Thirteenth Amendment to the Constitution was adopted in 1865. Does this mistake affect your opinion of Ann Landers?

Discussion

1. Is it fair to equate a wife and mother with a slave?

2. How do you suppose Ann Landers arrived at the figure of $50,000 a year? What do you think Mr. Money-Hungry's response to this figure will be?

SITUATION 6.

Male Mixes up mail

Dear Ann Landers,

Don't chew me out. Just tell me what to do. I have two “best” girls, one in the Midwest, another here in town. The in-town girl is visiting relatives on the West Coast.

I wrote to them both last night. It was late and I was tired. After I wrote the letters, I decided to walk to the corner and drop them in the mailbox.

This morning I have a terrible feeling that I put the letter to the blonde in the envelope addressed to the redhead. The redhead is really Numero Uno and if she receives the blonde's letter, I am in real trouble. Can you think of something I can do before the bomb drops?

Dunderheads

Factual questions

1. How many "best" girls does the writer have?

2. Where does each one live?

3. Why did he write to the girl who lives in his hometown?

4. What did he do after he wrote the letters?

5. What does he think may have happened?

Language use

1. What is the style of this letter? Direct? Casual? Why would the writer use this style?

2. How old do you think the letter writer is? What expressions does he use that support this?

Discussion

1. What does the writer want Ann Landers to tell him?

2. What is the writer really worried about? Losing both girl friends? Looking stupid?

3. What do you think the boy will do if "the bomb drops"?

4. What suggestions do you have for Dunderhead—in case the bomb does drop?

5. What is the obvious way to avoid this kind of mistake?

6. What kind of person do you think Dunderhead is? Would you want him as a friend? A boyfriend?

Vocabulary

to chew someone out

Numero Uno

a dunderhead

From the desk ofAnn Landers

Discussion

1. Do you feel that Ann Landers' reply will disappoint Dunderhead? Why? What kind of advice did he want?

2. Can you think of something that Dunderhead might do?

Writing

A. Assume that you have mixed up two letters in the same way as Dunderhead. The first envelope, addressed to your best friend, should contain a letter in which you have written a very detailed account of your first date with a new girl/boy. The second envelope, addressed to your old girl/boyfriend, should contain a letter explaining why you can't come visit that weekend. Write both letters.

B. Using Dunderhead's letter as a model, write a letter to Ann Landers asking for advice. Assume that you have mixed up two letters in the same way as Dunderhead. Decide what their contents might be. (For example. Letter 1 might be a highly personal letter about your spouse, written to a very close friend. Letter 2 might be a thank-you note to your gossipy neighbors for their contributions to a local charity.) Write Ann Landers for advice. Assume that you are a middle-aged, middle-class citizen. Use a formal style of writing that contrasts with the informal style of Dunderhead.

SITUATION 7.

Date: 2015-12-11; view: 1009