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Sound of door slammingBRIDGET and HECTOR Mothers! HECTOR My mother thinks I am 10 years old. BRIDGET My Mum treats me like a baby too. HECTOR My Mum doesn't understand me. BRIDGET My Mum doesn't understand me, but Chrissy is perfect. HECTOR Who is Chrissy? BRIDGET Oh, she's my sister. Sound of telephone ringing BRIDGET Oh, excuse me. Hi? Oh, hello Mother. Yes Mother, I have remembered she’s arriving today. HECTOR Oh, hi Nick. I've come to get my weights. NICK Ah, Mr Romero. Take off your trousers and like down, please. HECTOR Pardon, Nick? NICK Ah, please, call me Doctor Jessop. Sound of emergency siren HECTOR Doctor Jessop? NICK Hector, I want a part in the TV show Hospital Fever. I need to practise. Anyway, women love men in white coats. HECTOR Really? NICK Ha-ha-ha! So, where does it hurt? HECTOR Where does what hurt? NICK You are my patient so you must hurt somewhere. HECTOR OK, oh, my arm, my arm hurts. NICK Your leg or your arm? Leg, arm, arm, leg. HECTOR Oh, OK, my leg, my leg. NICK OK. Sit down please, Mr Romero. Hmm, cross your legs. Ha! Now, don't worry, Mr Romero, this won't hurt at all. Arrgghhhh! Oooh, oooh! HECTOR Sorry, Nick, it was an accident. NICK OK. You have good reflexes. HECTOR Good. NICK Now, Mr Romero, please say "Ah!" HECTOR Huh? NICK Mmm! I thought so. HECTOR What? NICK You had cornflakes for breakfast. HECTOR Oh. NICK Now I must give you an injection. HECTOR An injection? NICK Yes, an injection. Sound of knocking on door BRIDGET It's open. CHRISSY Ta-daaa! BRIDGET Chrissy!! You're early. Come in, come in! BRIDGET and CHRISSY Twinnies! CHRISSY Oh Bridget, darling, it's lovely to see you. BRIDGET And you, Chrissy. How was your flight? CHRISSY Great, but can you believe it, they lost my luggage. BRIDGET Incredible. Oh Chrissy, look at you. You never change. You're still a teenager.
CHRISSY Oh, didn't we have fun then.
BRIDGET Yeah, at school. CHRISSY "It wasn't me Miss, it was Bridget!" BRIDGET "It wasn't me Miss, it was Chrissy!" We shared everything.
CHRISSY Yes, we did. "He loves me."
BRIDGET "No, he loves me, me, me!" Anyway, here we are now. CHRISSY Bridget, do you have some clothes I could borrow? I travelled in this dress. I need something more comfortable.
BRIDGET Something like this? I bought two for the price of one. CHRISSY Bridget, this looks really good. BRIDGET Great. HECTOR Sorry, I can't exercise. I've hurt my back.
CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] Why, Hector. You are so muscular. HECTOR Oh, thanks. How is your Mum?
CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] She is such a good friend. She really understands me. HECTOR But I thought that... NICK It's OK. I'm here. Where's the emergency?
CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] Well, hello, Nick, the actor. Ooh, I love doctors. Sound of telephone ringing CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] Excuse me. Hello? Hello, Mummy. NICK This is it! Women love doctors. Bridget can't resist me. HECTOR Really? NICK Hey, darling, come to Nick. CHRISSY See you soon, Mummy. Love you lots. Bye! So Doctor, where were we? Ooh, I think I have a temperature. NICK Madam, I think I can help. Tell me where it hurts. ANNIE Hi, Hector! Hi, Nick! Hi, Bridget!
CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] Annie, darling! How are you? Doesn't Nick look good as a doctor? ANNIE Yes, he looks very, very good.
CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] Now you must excuse me, I must do my make-up. NICK Ooooh! BRIDGET Guess what? My twin sister Chrissy has arrived from Australia. She lost her luggage, so she has borrowed my clothes. NICK That's it! Women love doctors! Today I practised for a part as a doctor and Bridget couldn't resist me! HECTOR Bridget is in a really strange mood today. A moment ago, she said that her mother was her best friend. ANNIE So? HECTOR But an hour ago, she said that her mother treated her like a baby. I am confused. NICK I wonder what Bridget was like when she was younger. HECTOR I wonder what Annie was like.
ANNIE I wonder what Nick was like. Nick? NICK Huh! I know what Hector was like. Anyway, I must continue rehearsing as Doctor Jessop, especially as Bridget loves doctors so much. Aha! Sound of door slamming ANNIE Ohhh! Nick only likes Bridget, Bridget, Bridget.
BRIDGET Am I interrupting?
ANNIE No. HECTOR Yes.
BRIDGET Excuse me! ANNIE But why? Nick never notices me. Ohhh! And he looks so handsome in his doctor's coat. HECTOR Really?
CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] Aha! Sweet! ANNIE But I thought that … CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] … Your faces! Are you two … ? ANNIE No! HECTOR Yes.
CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] Aw, but you look so nice together.
CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] So Hector, are you and Annie dating? HECTOR Well...
CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] Come on, Hector. You can tell me. It's not a problem. HECTOR Really?
CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] Really. HECTOR OK. I really like Annie.
CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] Go on. HECTOR But she doesn't notice me.
CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] Well, ask her on a date. HECTOR Well, should I? OK.
CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] Oh, and Hector, when I was at the airport today, I found this magazine. HECTOR Airport?
CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] Is this you? Are you this rich boy, Hector? HECTOR Yeah, but please, don't tell Annie.
CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] Oh, you want her to like you, not your money. HECTOR Yeah.
CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] That is so sweet. Well, don't you worry. Your secret is safe with me. HECTOR Oh, thanks. Banging noise HECTOR and NICK Oh –ow-ow!! HECTOR Bridget is in a really good mood today! NICK Really? Gre-at! Hi!
CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] Hi, Nick darling, or Dr Jessop. Would you help me? NICK Sure.
CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] Would you move this exercise bike to give me more space? NICK Sure. Yeah. Eeyahh!
CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] Oh, you're so strong. NICK I need a drink. Would you like one?
CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] Yes, please. NICK Aha! Bridget, darling. Have you finished, because now we can make a little sweet music of our own, darling. BRIDGET In your dreams, Nick. NICK Huh? BRIDGET Who moved my bike? NICK I did, because you... BRIDGET Well, move it back then - if you're strong enough. HECTOR Aha! HECTOR Dr Romero, at your service. ANNIE Ooh, hello! Oh, Hector, you look great! Oh, I love doctors. BRIDGET Oh, Hector you look great! Oh, I love doctors. ANNIE I’m fed up – Nick only likes Bridget! Bridget! Bridget! But dear Hector comforts me, he is so kind. And Bridget is in a strange mood today. First she said, [“Am I interrupting?”] then two minutes later she said, [“Sweet!”] It’s like two different people! NICK First she asked me to move her bike: ["Would you move this exercise bike to give me more space?"] then one minute later, she told me to put it back again: ["Who moved my bike?"] Huh! Women! HECTOR Hi, Annie. ANNIE Oh, hi, Hector. Hector, think of a card. HECTOR OK, ace of diamonds. ANNIE No, don't tell me. HECTOR Annie? ANNIE Yes, Hector? HECTOR I have something to ask you. ANNIE Yes, Hector? HECTOR The thing is, do you like to come to the cinema tomorrow night with me? ANNIE Pardon? HECTOR Would you like to come to the cinema tomorrow night - with me? ANNIE Oh, well, yes, I'd like to. HECTOR OK. See you then.
CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] So Annie, did Hector ask you out? ANNIE To the cinema, yes. Do you want to come?
CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] Of course not! Have a great time! ANNIE I wonder which film we should see. BRIDGET When? ANNIE When I go to the cinema with Hector, of course. BRIDGET What? You and Hector are going to the cinema? I don't believe it.
CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] Phew, I'm starving! Hmm! These are my favourite biscuits. I think there are some good films on now, Annie. BRIDGET All the films are rubbish at the moment anyway. I'm starving. Ecchh! I hate these biscuits.
CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] Now I must phone the airport. ANNIE Ohhhh!
CHRISSY [pretending to be Bridget] What is it, Annie? ANNIE I don't understand. If you are there, then who is in the bathroom? What?!!
BRIDGET What? Ahhhhhhhh! Annie, what are you doing? ANNIE But you're, you're … ! BRIDGET … Twins. ANNIE Bridget, I didn’t know! BRIDGET This is my twin sister Chrissy. Didn't I tell you about her? ANNIE Ahh! Now I understand. So Nick and Hector don't know that you are twins.
BRIDGET No, I don't think so. You know, we could have some fun with this … ANNIE Maybe a magic trick? Hector! Nick! Come in! You are just in time to see my new magic trick. Take a seat. HECTOR Wow, I can't wait. ANNIE Ladies and gentlemen. Oh, just gentlemen. Today I will make my lovely assistant Bridget disappear! Enter, Bridget! Sound of drum roll NICK and HECTOR Whoo-whoooo! Whoo-whoooo! ANNIE OK, Bridget, in you go. Bridget. Bridget! I will make Bridget disappear from this box and appear in this box. NICK Oh, this I must see. ANNIE Now a tap with the magic wand. NICK and HECTOR Hey! Hey! ANNIE Which means that the first box is empty. NICK and HECTOR Whooo! Hey! ANNIE Bridget, you are moving quickly today. Let's just check that the other box is empty. HECTOR Hey! She's going round the back. ANNIE OK, gentlemen, place your bets, please. Which box do you think Bridget is in? NICK The box on the left. HECTOR No, no, the box on the right. ANNIE OK. Let's see. A drum roll, please. Sound of drum roll ANNIE Gentlemen, applause, please, for Bridget and Chrissy! Oh, I think there's something wrong with the audience. Is there a doctor in the house? BRIDGET Bye, Chrissy, come back again! CHRISSY I will, I promise. Bye, Bridget. BRIDGET Oh, Chrissy, I'll miss you. Oh! She forgot her magazine. What?! It can't be! It is! It's Hector! COMMENTARY [v.o.] Next time in EXTRA, Hector helps build some new shelves, Nick helps build some new shelves, and what happens when the landlady's cousin comes to stay? EXTRA, don't miss it.
Date: 2015-12-11; view: 652
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