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VISITING THE STADIUM.

BOND: Itís a perfect day for football, isnít it?

BORISOV: Yes, itís a beautiful day and I hope it will keep fine. Which team do you think will win? Liverpool or Nottingham Forest?

BOND: Iím Liverpool fan myself. But no matter who wins it will be a good game, I think.

BORISOV: One of the teams is already on the field. Which team is that?

BOND: Thatís the Liverpool team. I see that Digby, the reserve centreforward, is playing because Adams is ill. I hope he wonít let the team down. He hasnít got the experience, of course, but I like his style of play.

BORISOV: Look! The game is about to start. Here comes the referee.

BOND: Now they have started the game. Nottingham Forest is a pretty good team, they say, but Iíve been supporting Liverpool since my college years.

BORISOV: Look, Mr. Bond, Liverpool have the ball and they are going to score.

BOND: What a shame! They have lost a good chance of scoring a goal. They are in petty bad shape today.

BORISOV: Donít get to exited Mr. Bond; itís only a game.

 

Mr. Bond was disappointed. Liverpool lost a game to Nottingham Forest. In the first half the Liverpool team tried to score but every time they missed the goal and the game ended with a score of 3:1 in Nottingham Forest favour.

WATCHING FOOTBALL.

(A humorous view on the behaviour of fans at the stadium.)

Twenty-two men play a game of football and eighty thousand watch them, and yet those who play are the only ones who follow certain rules and regulations. This is, of course, ridiculous. A set of official rules for spectators at football games is therefore reproduced below. In the first place, there is a question of shouting encouragement at the players. There must be no more random shouting. It is of course understood that the players are entirely dependent on the advice of the spectators, and how is a player to know what to do if, for example, he hears a man shouting, ďWait for them, Willy!Ē and another man shouting, ďTry a pass, Willy!Ē

The official advisers in the stands must work together. Before each player goes to do something, there should be a conference among the fans and as soon as the majority have come to a decision, their advice should be shouted to the player in unison.

In the matter of hostile remarks addressed at an unpopular player on the visiting team it would probably be better to leave the wording entirely to individual fan. Each man has his own talent in this sort of thing.

For those fans who are occasionally obliged to take to inexperienced lady-friends to a game, a special set of rules has been prepared. These include the compulsory purchase of tickets in what is called the ďExplaining SectionĒ.

The view of the field from this section is not very good, but it doesnít matter, as the men will be too busy explaining to see anything of the game anyway, and the women can see just enough to give them material for questions.

Absolutely no gentelmen with uniformed ladies will be admitted to the main stand/ in order to enforce this regulation a short examination on the rules of the game will take place at the gate, in which ladies will expected to answer briefly the following questions:



1. What game is being played on this field?

2. How much games have you seen before?

3. What is a goal-keeper in football?

4. What color uniform does the home team wear?

5. What is the name of the home team?

6. Do you cry easily?

7. Is ther anything else you would rather be doing this afternoon?


Date: 2015-12-11; view: 252


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