Note from the Author 18 page

And then there was them. Never had something so wrong felt so right. Every melting touch, every soul searing kiss and every time he tattooed his name between her legs, Eden surrendered to him in the best way possible. He laid siege on the glass walls of her heart and chipped away at her doubts, her insecurities, and her fears until there was nothing left but her naked pumping organ, beating only for him. Each and every time she was with him now all Eden wanted to do was wrap her arms around him and tell him to never let go. Lust had burned away a long time ago and from its ashes flourished a love Eden had denied for far too long now. It hadn’t come suddenly. It had been there for years, blanketed by the debris of their crumbling marriage, neglected, abandoned and desperately denied because despising him had been so much easier.

His money was the reason why she’d married him, but love had made her stay. She found herself missing him more and more, craving not only his touch, but his presence as well. He had a very wry, often times self-deprecating humor was incredibly endearing. Eden loved the warmth of his smile and how it softened his otherwise hard features, she loved the sound of his laughter and how it formed crinkles at the corner of his devastating green eyes. She enjoyed his company and loved that he took a genuine interest in everything she did. They’d started off so wrong, but now Dominic was attempting to right those wrongs, and it was impossible for Eden to continue denying him another chance at her heart when he seemed so determined to have it all now.

Releasing a long sigh, Eden unfastened the lid from her favorite lotion and applied a generous amount to her skin, paying extra care to elbows, knees and the heels of her feet. A grimace touched her lips as she felt the bit of callous there and knew she needed to visit a nail salon as soon possible.

* * *

“Come here, Liam, come to Daddy.”

Eden stopped short at the threshold of Liam’s nursery, a bottle of milk in hand, she silently watched father and son. Liam lay prone on his tummy, arms extended in front of him, legs intermittently kicking behind him, head raised in avid interest of what his father was doing. Dominic, for his part was on all fours, positioned just a few paces in front of Liam, a motley assortment of toys placed between them, more incentives for Liam to crawl. “Come on, Liam, come get your toy.” Dominic wiggled the stuffed monkey rattle and it appeared that was enticement enough to prompt Liam into action. There were squeals and excited coos as he used his chubby arms and belly to drag himself forward, his legs kicking excitedly behind. “That’s it, son, come to Daddy, come on.”

Eden’s grip on the bottle tightened as a beaming smile touched her lips. This sight alone was enough to obliterate her previous bad mood. She remained silent, unwilling to disturb such a pivotal moment. “Come get Mr. Monkey, Liam. You can do it.” And he did. It took him some time, stopping every now and then, but Dominic’s encouragement kept him moving until finally he reached his father who joyously scooped him up and threw him up in the air. “I knew you could do it, son.” Dominic held Liam up and stared at him, his pride so strong that Eden could feel it standing where she was.

“My heart drops every time you do that,” Eden said quietly, waiting until Dominic caught Liam in his arms before making her presence known. “You’re not working today?” He wasn’t in his usual business attire, but he was no less handsome in tailored Chinos and the checkered shirt that brought out the green in his glimmering eyes. “I thought we would take Liam to the fall festival in town.”

Her amber eyes widened in surprise at the unexpected suggestion. “Sure,” she murmured, blinking owlishly at him. “That would be great.”

He was allowing personal greed to rule his decision; old habits that would undoubtedly take some time to change, but Dominic could not let her go. Not yet. He wanted a little more time with her. It was an inevitable end, but one that he would postpose for another few hours. Dominic wanted to give himself this last day before he unshackled her from his side.

They walked down Main Street, Dominic holding Liam while Eden walked beside them. “I love the fall,” she imparted with a smile. “It’s like nature’s perfect painting. The beautiful colors of the trees, the cool weather and there’s like this sense of comfort in it. It’s like coming home. You know?” She looked at him and flushed noting the imperceptible grin of his face. “I sound silly.”

He touched her arm to halt their progress. “Not silly,” he said firmly, “I love hearing you speak of the things you love. It allows me to see the world through your eyes, and there is nothing better for me than this.” His candor and the intent way he peered at her further heightened the color in Eden’s cheeks. She said nothing, but her heart managed to say enough when he interlaced their fingers.

“Tell me more,” he ordered gently, and she did with a secret smile as they continued their stroll.

The sign of fall was everywhere, but no more than at the heart of the Langston Fall Festival held at Langston Square. There were a multitude of tents with an array of games, food, and drinks to attract the milling crowd. Eden, Liam, and Dominic visited nearly every tent. They bought a small basket of apples after sampling fresh apple pies. Eden had her face painted along with Liam’s, a cat and a cute little puppy respectively. Dominic however declined. But he redeemed himself by winning them some stuffed animals, and by the time they returned home, it took Eden three trips to the car to retrieve all of the things Dominic had won.

“Have dinner with me.” He captured her wrist before she could turn away and made the request.

“Ok.” No was a word temporarily erased from Eden’s vocabulary, at least when it came to him.

She found him out on the veranda later that night, a table set for two reminiscent of the evening he brought up the divorce contact. An odd feeling trickled down her spine making Eden suddenly uneasy. She ignored it, however, when his paralyzing gaze landed on her, and she forgot to breathe. Her heart skipped like a school girl in love and made a desert out of her mouth. He was brooding, and as she neared him, Eden could tell that something was upsetting him.

“You look lovely.” His husky compliment made her feel beautiful even though she only wore a simple summer dress and sandals.

“Thank you,” she said shyly, tucking her hair behind her ear. He pulled her chair out for her, and she shivered when he ghosted a kiss against her cheek, the scent of his cologne hitting her in the right the spot.

“Is everything alright?” she inquired over their first course, setting down her glass after taking a long sip of the port.

“Is Liam asleep?” he asked in lieu of answering.

“Yes, I came down as soon as I put him to sleep. Jenna has the baby monitor,” Eden replied with a frown. “Are you okay, Dominic?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Taken aback by the coolness of his tone, Eden looked at him trying to find something in the flinty hardness of his gaze or why he suddenly appeared so grim. “You look like you’re angry.” She licked her lips nervously. “Did I...did I do something to upset you?” She felt stupid for asking it, and even stupider when she realized exactly how much it suddenly mattered to know whether she’d upset him in any way. If it was her, then she wanted to fix it. If it was someone else, something else than she would fix that, too.

“No, you have done nothing to upset me.” His gaze softened and Eden was allowed to breathe. “I’m was just thinking.”

“About what?” she urged.

“Nothing in particular,” he replied evasively. “Have you found a suitable apartment yet?”

The question stopped Eden’s heartbeat as cold sweat thickened across every inch of her skin. She blinked owlishly at him, like she just got caught doing something she wasn’t supposed to. “Am I being followed again?”

“Yes.” No hesitation. “Hate me on this all you want, but as I have said, I will not compromise when it comes to your safety.”

“I don’t hate you.” I’m more than likely in love with you. That last bit she kept to herself though she felt the burn of those words on her tongue. “I was going to tell you about it. I was just afraid of how you would react.”

He angled a brow. “And how exactly is that?”

“Like this,” she murmured, “cold and distant. I wasn’t planning on moving any time soon.” She attempted soothingly. “I just thought that...”

“You should have somewhere to go when our contract is over,” he finished for her. “I’ve always admired that about you, Eden. This very thorough ability you have to plan ahead. It’s a trait that will take you very far.” It was hard for Eden discern whether he was being sincere or was insulting her in that roundabout way he used to.

She couldn’t remember the rest of dinner, but she knew it tasted like ashes, and she guzzled down the port to wash it away, only to realize a short time later that the taste in her mouth had nothing at all to do with the venison. When he asked her to follow him inside, she felt like an inmate on death row who’d just been given her last meal and now faced capital punishment. Their trek was a short and silent one, and when they entered his office she watched him walk around his desk to retrieve something from the locked drawers.

“I’ve been battling with myself for weeks about this,” he waved the folded piece of paper in his hand as he approached her but did not come any closer, “even now, I’m not sure I want to give it to you. But it’s the only way I know to show you that I’m trying to change.”

Dread poured ice water in her veins and while anxiousness pushed her heart into a full gallop. She tried swallowing around the constriction in her throat, but even that proved difficult. “What it is?” She was too afraid to ask and even more afraid to hear the answer.

“The divorce document, signed, sealed and reluctantly delivered,” he quipped without much humor, extending the document to her. It took Eden a short eternity before reaching for it with trembling fingers. She unfolded it and looked down without really seeing much of anything, except his signature at the bottom of the page and the seal that made it official. “You don’t have to worry about the contract. Everything we have agreed on will be upheld. I have transferred everything I took from you back into your possession.”

“Dominic—”

He held up a hand. “Please, let me get this out before I lose my nerve,” he beseeched in a low voice, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. “In the five years that we’ve been married, I have not been a good husband to you. Hurting you as I have, disappointing you to this degree, has been my greatest failing as a man, and for that I am deeply regretful. You deserve better than me, undoubtedly. There are far better men out there who are free to love you in the way that you need. And I know when you walk out that door you will live and thrive and laugh and smile because that is the sort of person you are. And however much I want that for you, I can honestly say that everything will stop for me.”

Blood rushed between her ears and Eden knew she wasn’t breathing as he closed the space between them and tenderly cupped the side of her face. She saw only him and the glimmering intensity in his green gaze. “I don’t know what love is, Eden, but if I did, I know it would not come close to how deeply I feel for you. This thing, this feeling I have is unconventional. It’s emotion right down to its most basic element, and it rules me, it controls every aspect of my life until all I can see, all I can taste, all I can feel is you,” he breathed huskily. Taking hold of her hand, he placed it on his chest, right over his beating heart. “You’ve given my heart its rhythm and it beats only because of you. I come to you in fractured pieces with the hope that you will have the patience to help put me back together again.” He made himself emotionally naked to her, finally permitting Eden to see him, see the rawness of emotions he felt for her, see how deeply it ran and how fiercely it burned. “I am not worthy of you, but how can I live when you hold my heart in your hands, Eden?”

Tears gathered in her eyes as she attempted to gain control of her own emotions, but Eden was altogether overcome with awe and exhilaration when she gazed into the very depths of his eyes and saw his soul. “I…” she drew in a shuddering breath and tried again, “I’m…” words…words were not enough to express what she felt, so Eden rose up on her toes and sealed her mouth to his, needing to speak in lips and tongue everything she could not say. She spoke and he listened in a kiss that rocked the ground beneath their feet. Their tongues tangled in hot, frenzied carnality, shattering all reservations, crumbling all of Eden’s barriers. And in a state of absolute madness to feel him, to have him, to claim him and jump into his skin if need be, Eden frantically pulled at his shirt and pants. Buttons were sacrificed; the very loud tearing of clothes splintered through the breath laden silence as he too blindingly tore at her clothes, drove her back and scooped her up on his desk. She reclined backwards, her torn dress hanging haphazardly at her sides as she slowly propped herself on her elbows in offering Dominic a banquet of sumptuous breasts with nipples puckered to delightful peaks, the macchiato river of her flat belly led to the bare ocean of her salted caramel pussy. His mouth watered but the desire to sink into her won out as he fell upon her, wrapping his arms around her parted legs to yank her towards him until her bottom hung off the edge of the desk and without a second’s hesitation Dominic slid and sunk in deep swallowing her sweet feminine gasp.

She was full of him, yet not satiated, but it was problem easily rectified as his long, even thrusts slammed into her with delicious accuracy, jarring every nerve ending in her body. He set a punishing speed that she fought desperately to match, her legs dangling at his sides as he drove hard and fast into her hot melting passage. She was the ebb and he the flow, her gasping whimpers harmonizing with his grunts and groans. He toyed with her clit, a very slow and deliberate brush of fingers that brought the world shattering down on her. He flooded her with his own release muffling his groan between her breasts.

How was he able to shatter her so completely and put her back together again? Eden breathed in deep, and with her head on his chest, she listened to the steady beats of his heart. They were on the carpeted floor now and her body covered his like a blanket while his arm curved around her waist. They said nothing. Eden bit her lip, remembering the forgotten divorce paper that he’d handed her a while ago. He’d finally given her what she’d asked for, but it appeared it was no longer what she wanted.

“Stay,” he murmured huskily above her, almost reading her thoughts. When he shuffled beneath her, moving forward to bring Eden up to a sitting position, he curved fingers beneath her chin so that she looked into his green eyes that had darkened considerably. “I love you more than words can ever begin to define. I know I have no right to ask, but I’m asking you to please stay with me, Eden.” He leaned his forehead against hers and whispered a kiss on her quivering lips.

Tears filled her eyes and leaked down her cheeks from beneath her shuttered lids, overwhelmed beyond words. Eden had never once believed that she would ever hear these words from Dominic’s beautiful mouth. All that had been endured for this one moment of complete perfection.

“Stay…”

That decision had been made for her a very long time ago, maybe even before she’d been ready to admit to it.

Epilogue

Prologue

Or some pussy-ass way of writing a damn letter to the ones who have read AWGM

What’s up? How the fuck are you doin’? I know. Probably worlds better than I am right now. Look, all right? I’ll fucking tell you like I told her. It ain’t gonna fix a fuckin’ thing, but I’ll say it…

I fucked up, okay? I fucked up and I know… I know I did. I let my little firecracker down so many Goddamn times.

Fuck!

I know I don’t fucking deserve her, but I’ll be Goddamned if I leave her again, and I’ll be even more fucking damned if I let what I deserve or don’t deserve in life keep me away from her. Period.

I told her that everything I touch, I fuck it up. Why the hell do you think I ran from her little ass all those years ago? I was trying to shut her out before she got under my skin. But I couldn't. She wouldn't let me keep treating her like an irritating gnat.

Shit, I even told April I thought she was a narc. Damn, that was lifetimes ago... I'd give anything to go back and keep shit from falling apart. I would tell her dad to fuck off, just grab her up, and fucking run.

I never should have let her out of my car that night when we were kids. I could have protected her from fucking everything. From all of it... Fuck!

I’d ask where I went wrong, begging for an answer that would soothe this fucking terrible ache, this guilt that I’ve carried for decades. Even though I don’t deserve a break from my pain.

As for you, I know you think you know Lil, now that you’ve read her story and walked in her shoes through this fucked-up life of hers. But until you hold a woman like Lil, until you stare into her drunken eyes, heavy from ecstasy while your balls deep inside of heaven, inside this woman that is so fucking unlike anyone else on this Goddamn earth… Until you hold her shuddering body as her tears soak your shirt while she cries out for something even she doesn’t understand, just so long as it takes away her pain… Until you’ve been where I’ve been with Lil, you don’t truly know her.

Not like I fucking do.

That fateful May night, I felt the dread in my bones. It really started that morning, another of my countless mistakes, I ignored the hair-raising sense of dread that hit me that morning. I was supposed to be on my way to Atlanta for some stupid fucking merger meeting between my company’s marketing department and another new upcoming marketing company.

I was hauling fucking ass from one terminal to another, trying like hell to catch my connecting flight from Houston to Atlanta, when it hit me like a motherfucking brick across the face. I stopped right where the fuck I was, assholes crashing into me from behind, cussing at me.

I took my ass to the nearest fucking ticket counter and asked for the next flight to get me back home. Shit, I’d been gone for almost three months straight. I hadn’t seen Lil in over six months—that she knew of. I’d still kept an eye on her. I just couldn’t fucking explain what the hell my eyes were seeing. She was so far gone, I couldn’t see a single thing in my wife that resembled the woman I had fallen in love with over twenty years ago. The woman I’d waited all my life for was truly and irrevocably fucking gone.

Do you know what it’s like as a fucking man to have to look at your wife and watch her all over these cheesy fuckers, drunk and high out of her goddamn mind, so fucking lost she’s beyond ever being found?

Oh, I knew what the fuck she was doing. I knew about the drugs and ALL the men. But I was such a fucking coward! I just walked away like I had all the other times. I told myself that at least she was happy; at least they made her smile. For more than a year after my boy died, I could only get her to look at me or speak to me when we were in the throes of passion.

Date: 2015-12-11; view: 682