There Are Places

Avelina

“Come to me, baby,” Nate whispered. “There are places you and I can run to. Places where no one knows us. No one can see us.” I took his hand and followed him into the darkness. We were together in a void that was smooth, soft, and warm, and he was touching my face and neck. There were birds chirping and the feeling of sunlight against my skin, but there was no light. He laid me down and kissed me, kissed my breast. He was on his side facing me as I lay on my back. We were naked but warm. His tongue toyed with my nipple and I ran my hands through his messy hair. “God, you are so lovely,” he said. “Can I touch you?”

“Yes, touch me, please.”

“Where shall I touch you, beautiful?”

“Here.” I placed my hand to my flesh.

“Show me how,” he said.

“Like this.” I touched myself and felt the aching pulse below. I arched my back as I felt his warm hand cover mine. My mouth opened but I couldn’t breathe. He covered my mouth with his in a gentle assault.

“Mmm, you taste so good. I want to taste more of you.” His hands began taking over as he lowered himself, trailing kisses down my body. I stretched my arms above my head and let myself feel the exquisite ache.

His hands slid between my thighs and I opened wide for him. He kissed his way up my leg farther and farther until his mouth was on me. I jerked my hips toward him, trying to feel more as my hands got lost in his hair. His tongue was on me and then he plunged two fingers in and I was lost, pulsing against his mouth.

Then, like a movie reel locking and sputtering, everything stopped and I heard a faint knocking sound.

I opened my eyes. It was daylight and I was in my room alone, feeling the last echoes of the orgasm Nate had given me in a dream.

“Oh,” I whimpered, trying to get a grip.

“Ava, are you okay?” I heard Caleb’s call from my living room. I quickly jumped out of bed, threw on a robe, and met him as he walked into my kitchen.

“I’m fine.”

He walked toward me. “You’re flushed. Are you sick?”

“No.” The word came out as a rushed breath.

“Okay. Well, I came over because I hadn’t seen you at breakfast.” He looked away shyly like his concern embarrassed him.

“Thanks for checkin’ on me but I’m fine.”

“Okay.” He shrugged, turned around, and walked out.

When he left, I plopped down on the couch. I stared out the front window and then down to the beige carpet that Redman installed after Jake was gone. The carpet that covered the bloodstained wood floor. Sadly, those images never faded, just like the stains. My phone rang, jolting me out of my trance.

“Hi, beautiful.” Nate’s voice was as deep and as smooth as it was in my dream. I felt an aftershock between my legs.

“Hi.” My own voice sounded strange.

“Is something wrong?”

“No. I was thinking about you.”

“That makes me very happy. I want to take you out to dinner Friday. Can I pick you up at six?”

“Yes, I would like that. Are you taking me somewhere fancy? I don’t have fancy clothes.”

“I don’t have fancy clothes either,” he said, laughing. “I like the dress you wore when we went to the hot spring.”

“Oh, that old thing?”

“You took my breath away.”

My own breath was elusive at that moment. I swallowed and waited.

“Would you like it if I took you shopping?”

“Oh, I couldn’t.”

“Sure you could. Anyway, I would love to spoil you.”

I didn’t answer.

“Okay then, I’ll take that as a yes. We’ll go shopping first then dinner?”

“Okay.”

“Ava, can I ask you something?” His voice got low.

“Sure.”

“When you said you were thinking about me . . . what exactly were you thinking?”

My heart was beating in my stomach. “I was thinking about a dream I had.”

“Tell me about the dream.”

I heard something over the speaker in the background; his name was being called. “Don’t you have to go?”

“Was I touching you . . . in the dream?”

I was breathing hard. “Yes,” I whispered.

I heard him being paged again over the loudspeaker. “Baby, I have to go.” I heard a smile in his voice. “I’ll see you in a few days.”

“Okay.” I pressed end on my phone and laid my head back on the couch with the biggest smile on my face.

The week sidled on and the days seemed long. I looked forward to my evening call from Nate every day. I noticed after the one heady phone call that he tried to keep our conversations light. I told him I wanted to take things slow, that I hadn’t done that with Jake. Part of me felt like I needed space to grow. I’d been at an emotional standstill for five years without so much as an introspective thought. I tarried along for so many years inside of my numbed mind. It made falling for Nate feel like an exposed nerve hitting the air. I wanted to remember who I was and who I wanted to be when I thought I had a future.

On Friday, Trish came to my cabin with a basket of goodies. When I opened the door, she held them out with a smile. I took the basket from her hand as she walked past me into the living room. “My sister and I used to help each other get ready before our dates.” She looked back over her shoulder and smiled. “Well, are you gonna show me what you’re wearing tonight?”

“Nate said he wants to take me shopping.”

“Well, isn’t that sweet? But you don’t want to be lookin’ like that when he shows up, even if he plans to buy you the world.”

I looked down at my T-shirt and jeans. “No, I’m just gonna throw on that dress with the red flowers.” I looked in the basket. It was full of lotions, perfumes, hair ties, and some flowers she must have picked on the way over.

“Okay. Why don’t you go get cleaned up and I’ll do your hair for you when you’re done.” She winked.

“Thanks, Trish.”

“My pleasure, darlin’.”

She sat at my kitchen table knitting while I took a shower. When I came out she had conjured up a glass of wine and turned on some music.

“Let’s have fun with this.” She braided my hair, twisting a red ribbon through it. It was a little bit too “rodeo queen,” but I appreciated her effort. We danced around my cabin and sang to the music. When knocks sounded on the door, we both froze. She looked me up and down. I was dressed in my nice brown boots and the white dress with the red flowers that Nate had requested. Trish’s expression was warm, and her eyes welled up. “Enjoy yourself, sweetie. You deserve it.”

“Thank you, Trish.” And I meant it.

I opened the door to Nate, donning his usual sneakers and pegged jeans that hung perfectly on his narrow hips. He wore a simple charcoal gray V-neck sweater over a white T-shirt. It looked like he put a touch of product in his hair and he wasn’t clean-shaven. His face was etched with a day or two of growth, making him look even more handsome. His eyes were wide when I opened the door. He glanced down at my legs and then back up to my eyes quickly.

From behind his back he produced one single Casablanca lily stem. “These remind me of you,” he said, shyly. He looked behind me to Trish as she was gathering up her things.

“Hi, Aunt Trish.”

She came over and kissed him on the cheek. “Nathanial, you’re looking as handsome as your uncle.” She was down the steps and gone before he could even respond. I laughed but his face remained serious.

“You’re stunning, you know that?” he said.

I shook my head, putting the flower to my nose. “Mmm, let me put this in water and then we’ll go.”

He took me to a boutique in Great Falls, and when we pulled into the parking space I turned toward him, feeling a little nervous. “You really don’t need to buy me anything. I feel silly.”

“I love what you’re wearing but I thought maybe I could pick something out for you to wear on our next date.” He smiled, arching his eyebrows in a playful way.

“Next date? Okay.”

When we got into the store I realized that Nate had called ahead and asked them to stay open an hour later than usual. He could be very persuasive and charming. He’d also had the young girl who worked there pick out a pile of things for me to try on. I tried on several dresses and, for each one, I walked out and twirled around for Nate as he sat in a chair by the dressing room. Every time he would say, “Gorgeous, let’s get it.”

“This is the last one.” I walked out holding it close to my body because I was unable to zip it up in back. Nate immediately stood. “Let me get that for you.” Standing behind me, he brushed my braided hair over my shoulder. As he zipped up the dress, I could feel his breath on my neck. He kissed my shoulder. “This one is my favorite,” he said.

I looked into the mirror at the knee-length, muted red dress. It had a romantic flowing skirt. “I like it, too.”

He unzipped the back and gently nudged me back into the dressing room, following behind me and shutting the door. He pushed me against the mirrored wall and kissed me until I was breathless.

I broke away, panting. “They’re going to wonder what we’re doing in here,” I said.

“I couldn’t care less.”

He brushed one strap off my shoulder and the entire dress fell to the ground, leaving me heated and flushed in my black lace underwear. “Nate!” I scolded.

He leaned in and kissed me again, this time slower and more delicate. “I can’t keep my hands off of you,” he said. “I’d stay in here all night if I could.”

There was something in his pleas and his voice that reminded me of my dream. Warmth rushed through my body and I could feel it from his as well. “I thought we were going to take it slow.”

He leaned back and narrowed his eyes before finally letting a smile peek through. “It’s so hard when I’m with you.” He kissed me near my ear. “Get dressed and we’ll go eat.”

Within a few minutes we were back on the road in Nate’s red truck, heading farther into town. We arrived at a quaint Italian restaurant of Nate’s choosing. Once inside, Nate held my chair out for me then ordered a bottle of cabernet. After the waiter left, he said, “I hope that’s all right with you. I realize I didn’t ask.”

“It’s perfect.”

“Good.”

I leaned forward and clasped my hands. “Thank you for the dresses.”

“You’re welcome, but I think I enjoyed the shopping more than you.” He smiled and let his gaze fall to my mouth.

“Do you think there’s more to this than what we’re feeling?” I asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I know it’s been a long time for both of us and I just wonder . . .”

I let my voice trail off.

“What? You wonder if this is about sex?”

I blushed instantly. “Well, yes, I guess I am wondering that.”

“Ava, do you think I would’ve quit my job and moved to Montana for sex?”

We both laughed and the atmosphere was instantly lighter. “Tell me about your family,” I said.

Nate and I spent four hours talking over dinner that night. He told me all about his life, growing up in Los Angeles, watching his father rise to the top of his profession. He spoke only positive words about his dad, and I thought his description sounded a lot like Dale. The Meyers men all had a quiet strength, intelligence, and confidence about them. They were never boastful or macho, which was refreshing, having spent so much time around men who were. At the same time, Nate often seemed very much in control of things, especially when I was timid, which I also liked.

When I pushed the last bit of fish around my plate, he forked it up and held it to my lips. “Open up.” His eyes focused on my mouth as I took the bite.

For dessert, we shared tiramisu. I ate most of it off of Nate’s fork. There were long pauses in our conversation but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. I told him about my life in California and my parents and brother. He was surprised to learn that my brother had a graduate degree while I hadn’t even finished high school. He wondered if I still wanted to and I said no, which didn’t throw him at all. He moved on with the conversation, asking me about my future and whether I wanted to have a family. I told him I hadn’t thought about it since Jake. He reached across the table, took my hand in his, and smiled kindly.

“You have so much time to decide that,” he said.

“Do I?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want a family?”

He smiled. “Yes, I think so.”

That night Nate drove me back to my cabin, walked me to the door, and kissed me for a long time. He never asked for more; it was only enough to convey to me that his feelings were strong. I had a brief urge to pull him inside, but I quickly overcame it when he said he’d be back the next day.

“Would you like to see my place?”

“Yes. I can cook there if you’d like,” I said, always feeling the urge to offer something more.

He shifted his weight to his heels, put his hands in his pockets, and rocked back and forth. “How about I cook for you?”

“Okay.”

He was at my cabin at five p.m. the next day. We were both dressed more casually than the night before. He wore jeans and a tattered T-shirt, which I think was intentionally made to look worn. I chose jeans and a sweater with my hair down in soft waves over my shoulders. Instead of flowers he held a bottle of wine. “Trish just gave this to me. She said it’s your favorite,” he said with a laugh.

I took the bottle from his hand. “Did she mean for you to get me drunk?”

He shrugged and then pushed his hands deep into his jeans pockets, something he did when he was nervous. “I asked her what you like.”

“So you were the one with the less-than-honorable intentions?”

Smiling boyishly, he said, “Never.”

“Well, Nate Meyers, you’ve certainly had your opportunities, if those were your plans.”

He stared blankly at me for a few beats. I closed the door behind us, locked it, then turned back toward him. He braced the back of my neck and kissed me, pulling my bottom lip into his mouth. I thrust my hips against him and he growled deep in his throat. “The wanting hasn’t gone away,” he finally said, “but I’m trying to be respectful. You’re making it hard on me.”

“I feel it, too,” I murmured.

Nate was in control but very innocent in his reactions to me. I didn’t have a doubt that he was experienced in the bedroom but inexperienced with intimacy. I had a strong desire to show him how beautiful things could be when two people were comfortable with each other—comfortable enough to really let go.

He pulled me along to his truck and opened the door for me. We drove down dark country roads, making light conversation. The desire and pull we felt toward each other was palpable. Even small glances were sexually charged, carrying wordless promises for the night.

I explored the inside of the small house Nate was renting. He had very few furnishings, just the bare necessities. “Where’s all your stuff?”

“This is it.”

“Hmm. Maybe we can do something about that. When is your next day off?”

“I’m off tomorrow,” he said as he followed me down the short hallway to his bedroom. His bed was well dressed in a fluffy, expensive-looking white down comforter and oversized pillows. The sun had gone down but the sky was still light enough to fill the room. There was a warm breeze wafting from the open shutters. The air held the scent of wildflowers and sycamore. Through the window I could see a wide-open pasture and a small corral behind the house. The room, although bare, was very inviting. The bed called to me, even if just for a nap, but I knew there were better uses for it.

I noticed a book sitting on Nate’s nightstand. I didn’t recognize the title but I could tell it was science fiction. “So you do read for pleasure?”

He stood in the open doorway, leaning against the jamb with his hands in his pockets. He was clean-shaven but his hair was mussed up sexily. “It helps me sleep.”

“This is a nice room. If you want, I can help you fill the place out tomorrow. So it feels more like home.”

“Things don’t make a place feel like home. People do.” He prowled toward me. I moved backward toward the bed. “Wouldn’t you agree?”

I nodded. We were mere inches apart. When I looked down out of shyness, he used his index finger to tip my chin up, bringing my gaze up to his. My hands seemed to move of their own accord into his hair. As I ran my fingers through it, I kept my eyes locked on his. He studied me. His expression was warm, like he was cherishing me. “You don’t know how beautiful you are, do you?”

The question wasn’t meant to be answered. His skilled hands found their way to the top buttons of my sweater. My chest rose and fell dramatically but I forced myself to be brave. After all, I had basically stripped for him twice before, not to mention I begged him to take me while I was drunk. That night, though, in his room, there was a sense that what we were doing held a much bigger promise than before because our intentions were real, honest, and sober.

“Are you as nervous as I am?” I whispered.

“Yes,” he said.

“It doesn’t seem like it.”

He bent his head and kissed me, letting his tongue tease mine for just a moment. “I have steady hands,” he said near my ear. And it was true. I was feeling doctor hands, precise, warm, and deliberate, moving up my back. He traced an index finger down my spine to the top of my jeans as his kisses became more urgent. When we pressed our bodies together, I could feel him hard against me. I pulled away, sat down on the bed, and looked at my hands.

He stood still over me and when I finally looked up I could see that his eyes were searching mine for answers. “Are you okay, Ava?” His green eyes were still bright in the fading light. I wanted him and I knew he wanted me, but I wanted what I had felt before—the playfulness before things had become serious and full of meaning.

A few awkward moments passed and then I laughed. He broke into a grin. “I thought you were upset. Geez. Why in the world are you laughing?”

“I was thinking about how adorable you were when we were in the hot spring and I was making up that ridiculous story.”

I could tell my abrupt mood change threw him for a loop but he tried to recover. “Is that what you were thinking about just now when I was kissing you?”

He took a seat next to me on the bed and I took his hand in mine. “Well, I was just thinking how much fun I have around you and how things have been so serious since you came back.”

As though he could read my mind and knew where I was going with the conversation, he stood up and pulled me toward the kitchen. “Come on, Ava, I want to feed you.”

He poured us generous glasses of wine, and within half an hour we were joking playfully and easily, moving around the kitchen casually as he prepared dinner, warming up dishes he had made ahead of time. He put on music I wasn’t familiar with but loved. I had only really listened to country music because that’s what Jake liked. “Who is this?”

“It’s Ray LaMontagne.”

“I like it.”

“Me too. Ta-da!” He handed me a plate of lasagna over the counter. I took it and sat down at the breakfast bar.

“Tell me what you think.”

I took a bite. “It’s really good, Nate.” I lifted one eyebrow. “It tastes very similar to Bea’s lasagna.”

He grinned. “Well, she offered.”

“You said you were gonna make me dinner, cheater.”

He grinned as he sat next to me at the bar with his own plate. “How’s the wine?”

“Excellent.”

“The wine is good, the food is good, and the music is good. What’s missing?”

“Dessert?” I offered.

“Chocolate?” He took a sip of his wine, watching me over the glass mischievously as I shook my head back and forth very slowly. Leaning toward me, he whispered, “Let me have your mouth, Ava.”

I leaned in and let him kiss me. He pulled me closer, almost off my seat, and that was it—that was all it took.

All bets were off. I finally surrendered.

He reached down and pulled me up from the chair and then backed me toward the hallway, his lips never leaving mine.

CHAPTER 18

Murmur

Nathanial

She made small whimpering sounds inside of my mouth as I moved down the hall, kissing her hard as I pushed her toward my bedroom. Instead of fumbling with the buttons on her sweater, I lifted it from the bottom and pulled it over her head, then I held her away from me so I could look at her. There was a tiny pink bow in the center of her lace bra. I kissed the swell of each breast. She smelled like she always smelled, sweet but flowery. I pushed my hand into the cup of her bra and toyed with her nipple before pulling her breast out over the top of the material. Her breathing came fast and hard.

“I want you,” I said near her ear, and then I picked her up. She wrapped her legs around my waist as I pressed her against the wall. My mouth went to her breast and her hands found my hair.

She let her head fall back and closed her eyes. “Oh god, Nate. Let’s go to your room,” she whispered through heavy breaths. I carried her to my bed as I kissed my way up her neck. Setting her on her feet, I reached for the button of her jeans.

“Wait, you first.”

“Fine,” I said quickly before stripping off all of my clothes in five seconds. “Your turn.” I smirked. She stood still, staring at me. The light from the hallway filled the room just enough so that we could see each other. She moved her hand over my chest and down to the indentations of my lower abdomen, where she let her fingers play, tracing and swirling. She looked up at me, smiled, and said in a giddy voice, “This is nice.” And then she reached down farther and took a hold of me.

“I believe you have me at a disadvantage, miss,” I said.

“Oh?” she said, playfully. “What would you like me to do then?”

“Take off your clothes . . . now.”

She arched her eyebrows.

“Please,” I begged.

For at least ten seconds we stood perfectly still. She let go of me and dropped her hands to her sides. I finally broke the silence and spoke up. “If you think there’s any chance that you don’t want to go through with this, tell me now, Ava, please. I want you so fucking bad that I don’t think I’ll be able to stop. Do you want me to stop now?”

She shook her head slightly. “No. Never.”

With that, I reached behind her and with an easy flick her bra came undone. She tossed it aside. I dropped to my knees, undid the button on her jeans, and yanked them down, kissing her stomach and thighs. I pulled her black lace panties down to her ankles and helped her step out. I fisted them into a ball and threw them out the open window.

She gasped, “Nate!”

We were both naked and laughing. “You’re never getting those back. Some animal has probably run off with them by now.” She giggled. “I love that sound,” I said and then my mouth was on her as my hand moved lower.

“Oh god,” she said.

“No, just Nate.”

She laughed again but then the heat from our bodies finally consumed us. I tossed her onto the bed and kissed my way up her body until I was hovering over her. She took me in her hand and pulled me down while her hips came up off the bed toward my body, trying to coax me to enter her.

“Uh-uh, not yet.” She stroked harder while I kissed and sucked and nipped at her jaw. I bit her neck lightly and growled near her ear, then I pulled her hand from me and clasped both her wrists above her head. With my other hand I traced the curve of her hip and found my way farther down. She was wet and responsive. When I moved my fingers inside of her she bucked against my hand, wanting it deeper.

I rolled her on top of me and she sat up, her hands pressed against my chest. “Not like this,” she whispered.

“Yes. I want to see you.” Her hair was hanging over her shoulders, covering her breasts. I pushed the wavy locks behind her so I could look at all of her. The faint light shining on her illuminated her skin, making it look soft and smooth. She sat very still as I moved my hands down her body. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” My voice was strained.

She shook her head slightly and looked away. I gripped her hips and lifted her just enough for her to guide me inside of her. She came back down slowly, making the sweetest sound. Her body was tight around me.

“Ahh, Nate.”

My name on her lips sounded like music. Her movements were gradual but deliberate. I felt enveloped by her. I got lost in her.

CHAPTER 19

Date: 2014-12-29; view: 845