Sun is Burning at Dawn 9 page

But, I'm supposed to serve her, aren't I? Slightly puzzled, the smaller woman sat beside the warrior. Portions of the makeshift breakfast were doled out and the pair ate in silence.

Watching her woman eat, Anpo mused about their future. Things are destined to be difficult. But she will still care deeply for me. Taking a draught from the waterskin, she offered it to Kathleen who took it with a smile of thanks. Maybe Inyan was true in his thought. I will only hurt her as one hurts another when joined. Like my ate and ina. Here, a certain wistfulness filled her heart. I hope that is so.

Around them, the camp was brought to wakefulness. Others were out and about - winyan preparing breakfast for their families, younger children eating and planning for their day, older children getting ready to relieve the koskalaka guarding the herd of ponies. People were sluggish, however, from their late night of celebrating the hunt.

Kathleen finished off her meal. I suppose 'tis just as well Anpo got the breakfast. I don't know where anything is here.... The waterskin was light as she drank from it. Ye still need ta get started, lass. The sooner ye fit in, the sooner ye'll feel better. And she knew that keeping Anpo and her family pleased would mean she'd be able to stay.

When her woman rose, Anpo looked up in curiosity. What is she going to do? The blonde waved the waterskin at her and spoke in her musical language. Dark eyes furrowed and the warrior shook her head. Kathleen spoke again, this time gesturing in the direction of the river. "You will go get water?"

Again the woman spoke. "If yer sayin' I'll get some more water, then yes," Kathleen answered, slightly amused. "I swear, I've got ta learn yer language, lass."

Anpo considered the woman's demeanor and decided she was right. She did a quick mental scan of the area, deciding it would be safe for Kathleen to go to the river without harm. I do not know how much she knows, how well she can take care of herself. With a nod of permission, she waved the blonde towards the direction of the river.

Smiling and feeling strangely bold and comfortable, Kathleen paused only long enough to caress her warrior's shoulder before moving away from the fire. Her heart was light, lighter than it had been in some time, as she walked. Calm down, lass! These folks'll never understand if ye start skippin'! The thought brought a giggle to her lips.

The blonde reached the embankment and scrambled down it, stopping at the area she and the other women had bathed in the day before. She took a few moments to splash her arms and face, freshening up before moving a bit further upstream and filling the waterskin. The water was crisp and cool on her skin.

Nearby, a few others had the same idea. Most of them were older children who had decided to have a morning swim. Ah, not a chance of that! The water's a mite too chilly, and that's a fact! Kathleen thought with a shake of her head. Once the skin was full, the blonde inhaled deeply and sat on a large rock to watch the children cavorting around.

Alone, Kathleen was able to think on her new situation. She felt so much lighter today than yesterday. It was strange and it worried her mind, though not necessarily in a bad way. P'rhaps 'tis because of Anpo, she considered. She's a woman and not likely ta want me in that way. There's no.... and here she frowned as she tried to come up with the right word. There's no pressure. No need fer me ta submit like there was with the other men and Adam.

It also helps that Hca and Gi are so kind. Her scowl faded as her mouth quirked a bit. Hca is so nice and gentle! I think she's about my age, too. Kathleen pursed her lips in thought. Maybe that's why I like her so. She's of an age with me.

Some of the women had begun drifting towards the river and the blonde caught sight of the pair she'd been living with prior to Anpo. The boy and girl had accompanied them and splashed joyfully in the water while their mother and grandmother cleaned up and filled waterskins. Very recent memories of her time with them invaded her pleasant thoughts. Feelings of depression, fear and uncertainty whisked about her mind and she stomped them down with a purpose. Now! None o' that, lass! Yer in a better place this mornin'. Make the best of it!

With that, Kathleen set her jaw with determination and rose to her feet. "Well, lass. Time to get a move on." And she clambered back up the embankment and headed for the tent that held Anpo and her future.

The others of the household had awakened by the time of her arrival. The blonde received a welcome smile from her new friend, Hca Wanahca, which she returned brightly, handing the waterskin to her.

"Thank you, Ketlin," the dark woman said. She gestured her new stepan closer. "Come. You and I will help ina prepare the morning meal for ate."

Soon, Kathleen found herself seated near her warrior, a bowl in her lap. She was mixing together dried meat, berries and a measure of animal fat. wansi, she thought to herself. This is called wansi. Hca was mixing a dough with cornmeal and her mother, Gi, was using a hot rock to cook it on.

There was an older man at the fire. Anpo's father. He was tall, like his daughter, and carried himself with pride. He wore only a breechclout and moccasins, though there was a choker of what appeared to be animal teeth around his neck. There were old scars on his shoulders and chest, and Kathleen wondered idly where he'd received them. They look too well placed to be simple injuries. His voice was deep as he spoke with Anpo, studiously ignoring the white woman at his fire.

"You have done well for yourself, cunksi," Wanbli Zi said. "When you were born, Inyan had a vision of you. You have gone farther than his vision. I am very proud."

Anpo's skin darkened but she kept her father's gaze. "Thank you, ate. It was your patience and teaching that aided me."

He nodded, accepting her compliment. His woman handed him a piece of frybread, still hot from the rock. With a practiced hand, he scooped some leftover roasted meat into it and rolled it up. "Now that you have a woman, what will you do?"

"I do not know. I have no dowry of my own as I had not planned to be joined." The young warrior accepted some frybread from her ina, using some of the berries that Kathleen was stirring into the wansi mixture. She munched thoughtfully. "Ketlin will have to begin working on a ti ikceya from the skins I bring her. She will be a buried woman until her lodge is complete."

Waniyetu Gi spoke up. "There is no need, cunksi." There was a secretive smile that she shared with her elder daughter. "Your cuwe and I have been working on your dowry from the skins you have brought me."

Anpo stared at her mother blankly, her food half chewed.

"Mitankala!" her sister spoke up with a laugh. "You cannot live in ina's lodge forever!"

Blushing, the younger daughter chewed and swallowed her mouthful. "I.... I did not think to, but...." and she shrugged with a vague sense of confusion.

Gi continued on despite the interruption from her children. "I will give your dowry to Ketlin since she is to be your woman. It will be her ti ikceya." She finished another piece of bread which she handed to her man. "Her skins from the last hunt will finish it. She will have her own lodge by the time we reach summer camp." The older woman looked up from her task to smile at her youngest daughter. "Close your mouth, cunksi, before I think to throw your food into it."

The young warrior's mouth snapped shut and she sputtered in happiness and surprise. "Thank you, ina! Thank you, cuwekala!"

A piece of frybread was handed to her. "You are welcome, cunksi. Now eat with no worries."

Wanbli Zi, who had been silent through the conversation, finally spoke up. "You will have to teach your woman manners, cunksi," he hinted, nodding in the white woman's general direction. "Before we reach summer camp."

Puzzled, Anpo turned to see her woman staring rudely at her father as she worked.

Kathleen had finished the mixture and was forming it into long rolls which were then placed onto a nearby skin. Her blue eyes followed the conversation, from one to another as the people around her spoke, trying to puzzle out the sounds by the facial expressions. But they always returned to the man. Ye know, I can see a bit o' Anpo in him, she mused as she worked. She heard her name spoken and looked to Gi. Well, Kath, they're definitely talkin' about ye. Doesn't look too bad, though, and that's a fact. And then the blonde looked back to the man as he spoke again.

With a suddenness that was frightening, Anpo blocked her view. Two fingers were pointed closely towards her eyes and then cut to the left in a sharp gesture. "Hiya! Do not look at ate, Ketlin!"

The blonde woman's heart seized up and she flinched backwards, raising her arms in a defensive posture. The easy comfort of the morning evaporated as Kathleen flashed back to the vicious beatings of a few weeks earlier. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!

As her woman cowered before her, Anpo's brow furrowed in confusion. Does she think I will hurt her? Hit her? A feeling of guilt came over the warrior. Does Ketlin know that I am destined to hurt her? Wordlessly, she looked to her mother, a myriad of emotions crossing her tanned face - puzzlement, fear, irritation and the ever-present shame of her future actions.

"Go slowly with Ketlin, cunksi," Waniyetu Gi said softly. "She has been hurt so badly."

"She believes I will hurt her," Anpo stated, dropping her gaze. "And my vision says this is true."

"Hiya, cunksi. I have seen this before in women who have been hurt by their men. Ketlin does not see you. She sees the man who hurt her. She is only afraid of his actions being repeated."

The young warrior knelt down by the blonde. Kathleen appeared to be trying to disappear into the ground and wasn't looking at anyone. Anpo reached up to touch her woman's temple but the motion was seen out of the corner of one blue eye and Kathleen tightened up and shrank away further. "But, how do I teach her? She cannot understand my words and I cannot understand hers." Frustration filled Anpo's heart.

Hca, who had been watching with heartfelt eyes, spoke up. "Use our sign language, mitankala. She does not understand the words, but the signs make the meanings clearer." Her sister's haunting eyes looked at her and she nodded. "I used signs yesterday and Ketlin was able to understand what she could see."

Anpo's dark eyes returned to her woman.

The pounding of her heart had lessened, but Kathleen still awaited a beating. For what, she didn't know. The blonde just knew that the warrior was displeased with her, something about looking at the man. The tension in her body increased as the blows did not come, and Kathleen began to murmur under her breath. "I'm sorry. I won't do it again. I swear it." Maybe ye won't get a beatin', lass, she dared to hope. Over and around her the women spoke. And then Anpo was settling down to sit in front of her, speaking to her. The warm voice was not angry. Instead, it soothed her jangling nerves as it continued.

"Ketlin. Look at me, winuhca. You are safe here. I will not hurt you."

Hca stepped forward with slow movements and took the bowl of wansi and the skin that Kathleen had been using. She smiled at her mitan and returned to the other side of the fire. The rest of Anpo's family quietly discussed their day, ignoring the proceedings so close by.

The young warrior scooted closer and reached out a calming hand. Resting it on a trembling shoulder, Anpo caressed with a smoothing motion. "Look at me, winuhca."

Kathleen shivered at the touch. The words spoken to her sounded vaguely familiar and she distracted herself by worrying them, looking for the memory. Last night, in the tent. When I thought she was a man and wouldn't look at her. A flash of memory, two fingers pointed at her eyes and then at Anpo's own. Look at me! Anpo's tellin' me ta look at her!

Dark blue eyes, glassy with unshed tears, flickered to the warrior seated before her. As Kathleen's eyes met Anpo's, the world seemed to drain away, carrying her fears with it. Will it always be this way? she mused with a vague sense of wonder. Her eyes, will they always distract me so?

Anpo smiled at her woman, trying to convey a sense of safety and ease. It seemed to work, as the blonde's face relaxed its fearfulness. The warrior kept one hand on Kathleen's shoulder, not wanting to lose contact. With her other, she used the two fingers pointing into dark blue eyes to accent her language. "Ketlin, look at me," and the fingers pointed at her own eyes.

"Look at me," Kathleen repeated, her brow furrowing in concentration. Her shivering eased as the warrior's smile brightened.

"Ohan, Ketlin! Look at me. It is good to look at me." Using the same finger to eye motion, Anpo pointed at her sister. "Look at Hca. It is good. She is your stepan and a woman."

Again, the blonde repeated the words. Lookin' at Hca is alright, then. Why? She listened and watched intently as her warrior used the same speech and sign to point at the older woman. And Gi is safe too.

Anpo's face became serious and she shook her head. "Do not look at Wanbli, Ketlin," she said, using the same motion of her hand pointed at her father. "He is your tunkasi. You must not speak to him or look at him."

Kathleen frowned as she puzzled this bit of information out. I am not ta look at... Wanbli? His name is Wanbli and I'm not ta look at him. Her dark blue eyes flickered to the two other women at the fire, seeing the man out of the corner of her eye as he ate. But why? Because he's a man? That doesn't sound right. I looked at the other man all the time and the women didn't get mad.... The blonde brought her attention back to the woman in front of her. "I don't understand why I'm not ta look at Wanbli, but I won't. I swear it."

eeing and hearing the confusion, Anpo chewed her lower lip in thought. "I cannot think of a way to tell you, winuhca," she finally said with a chagrined look on her face. "He is your tunkasi and you are not to be close to him. It dishonors me if you are close to him. I would not be close to your ate for the same reason; he would be my tunkasi."

"Perhaps it is good enough that she knows not to do it," Gi spoke up. "She will learn the why of it as she learns our words."

Reluctantly, the young warrior nodded. "You speak truly, ina." Anpo reached out a hand and caressed the blonde's cheek. "I will not hurt you, Ketlin. Please believe it," she whispered.

Kathleen's heart went out to the young woman's, responding to the worried look she was given. She smiled and cupped Anpo's hand in her own. "I'm all right, Anpo. I'll try not ta be so scared of ye."

They searched each others' eyes for a few moments before Hca interrupted, handing a piece of frybread to the blonde woman. "Ketlin needs to keep her strength if you are to stare at her from dawn to dusk," she teased her sister.

Anpo rolled her eyes and pulled away. "Then I should feed you more, as well, when Nupa is here for meals." Satisfied that her mark had hit home, the warrior settled back down at her place and scooped up her discarded meal.

Accepting the bread with a smile, Kathleen was careful to not look at Wanbli. Is it just because he's a man? Or because he's Anpo's father? she wondered. That must be the reason - he's her father. The blonde nibbled at the bread as she thought, her eyes staring into the fire. She considered the other times that these people didn't look at each other - inside the tents, at the river when there was bathing. The fact that the man wasn't looking at her, either, accented the point. P'rhaps it's as much that I belong to Anpo?

Unable to understand the cultural differences, Kathleen vowed to keep her eyes open and watch other families, as well. Ye'll figure it out, lass. Yer mum and da always said ye were too smart for yer own good.

The two camps remained together for the better part of a week as they waited for the meat to dry and the skins to cure. Soon the day came that Wicasa Waziya Mani and his people collected their belongings and wandered away. Several natives gathered at the council ti ikceya, wishing the chief and his elders well in their travels. And then the people were on the move, slowly meandering towards the west and the future summer camp where they would meet again.

Kathleen watched them go with a mixture of sadness and joy. I'll miss the children, she thought. She'd even seen the little girl on the back of a horse with her mother and received a wave and a smile. At least I don't have ta worry about Anpo givin' me back to him, though. Pause. Well, lass, it's not like ye've done anything wrong really. The blonde turned to the tent that was under construction nearby. The ti ikceya.

The last few days had been almost idyllic in comparison with the rest of her time with the native peoples. Aside from the occasional misunderstanding due to their differences, things had gone quite well. Her days were full of learning their language and ways, what a woman's duty was and how to go about it. Pretty much no different than home. Her nights were quiet and caring as she cuddled with her warrior and enjoyed peaceful sleep.

"Han, Hca!" Kathleen called as she neared the bare poles that would be her lodge. She smiled at her stepan who looked up from her task of sewing skins and waved at her.

"Han, Ketlin! Come and help finish your ti ikceya." The dark woman scooted to one side to allow room for her sister-in-law to sit, handing her the bone awl and sinew. "This is the last piece. We are almost finished."

"And it will be as big as Gi's lodge?" the blonde asked as she aligned the two pieces of leather and bored a hole through them.

"Ohan, maybe bigger but not by much." Hca watched her pull the sinew through the new opening. "Do not pull it too tight or it will bunch up."

Kathleen nodded, smoothing the skins together. The dark woman began poking another hole. They worked in silence for a bit as the camp returned to its natural rhythm. The white woman could see her warrior and Wanbli at the council fire. Anpo's friend, Nupa, was with them.

Glancing sidelong at Hca, Kathleen spoke. "Is summer camp big?"

The young woman nodded though she did not look up from her task. "Ohan. Our people have seven council fires and we are but a small camp of one of them." Excited eyes glanced up at Kathleen. "There will be feasting and dancing and games! There will be a Sun Dance and ceremonies! It will be fun, Ketlin!"

The blonde smiled at Hca's enthusiasm. "Many handsome koskalaka?" she asked.

"Ohan! Many of those!" The dark woman gave a delighted laugh and glanced over at the council fire. "Many of those," she repeated.

"He likes you."

Hca's eyes widened. "I did not think you noticed." She shyly looked back to her task.

Laughing, Kathleen stopped her hands with her own. "Who could not? He is always at Wanbli's fire, his eyes all big and round and...." She waved impatiently and spoke a few words in her own language.

"I do not understand, Ketlin," Hca said with vague sadness. "But you have learned our words well."

"Wait." The blonde rose and pulled a stick from the fire. She drew a picture on the ground. "What is that?"

Hca frowned at the crude drawing. "An animal. But I do not know what kind."

"It has a white belly and a white tail." Kathleen tapped her foot in slight irritation. "I know! Our cuwignaka are made of its skin!" She held up a fistful of the leather dress.

"Oh! A nigesanla!" Hca thought back over the conversation.

"Is that what it is called?" the blonde asked. "Nigesanla." As she committed the new word to memory, Hca's sudden laughter interrupted her.

"You are saying that Nupa looks like nigesanla when he looks at me!?" The dark woman rolled on the ground, hooting, and her friend could only join her.

The two women giggled happily, garnering strange looks from others passing nearby.

Nupa glanced over at the pair as they laughed musically. Nudging his friend with a shoulder he pointed his chin at them and asked, "What do you think they are laughing about, tanksi?"

The dark woman peered past him, her mouth curling at the joy she saw in Kathleen. She is so beautiful. "You, tiblo."

"Me!?" The warrior stiffened and looked back and forth between his friend and the women. "Why do you say me?"

Anpo scooped up a twig, its end glowing red, and lit her pipe. "Look at my cuwe. She turns red when she looks at you and laughs the harder." She puffed the tobacco, bringing the smoke up and over her head with her free hand.

Studying the women with pursed lips, Nupa saw Hca do just that. He debated with himself for a moment before relaxing into a grin and accepting the pipe offered him. "She likes me." He repeated his friend's actions.

They quietly sat with the elders and listened to them speak of things, of hunting, of wars past, of times when they were young koskalaka.

"What is it like to have your own woman?" Nupa finally asked.

Anpo shrugged, her gaze flickering to the blonde as it always did. "It is... different." She puffed on the pipe as she reflected. "I feel lighter and heavier now. I am happy yet have more responsibility in my life. I have to look to the future and make decisions with someone else in my heart."

Her best friend nodded. "I have missed your presence with the herd at night."

"And I have missed yours, tiblo."

A long silence ensued, the voices of the elders lulling the pair. Eventually, Nupa spoke again. "It is strange that you would have a woman before me. I had always thought I would be the first to be joined." His dark eyes were serious. "It is strange that you would have a woman at all."

"I know. I find it strange, as well," Anpo agreed. "But you and I know that no man would have me." She tapped the ashes into the fire. "And I know that I would have no man." The dark woman shrugged and bundled up her pipe to put away. "It is best this way."

Nupa watched his friend place the pipe into a pouch.

Kathleen awoke first. She lay in the comforting warmth of their sleeping robes, the gentle thumping of Anpo's heart filling her ear. Why did it never feel like this with Adam? the blonde mused. She splayed her hand out over the dark skin, seeing the contrast even in this murky interior.

Memories of her short marriage filled her mind. Mornings of making breakfast for a husband who was kind, if not loving. Days of doing chores and speaking out loud to herself because there was no one else to talk to. Nights of intimacies that, while not forced, weren't exactly invited. Kathleen couldn't recall a single time she'd awakened with Stevens as she did with this young woman. Anpo's... comfortable. Sweet. Safe, definitely safe.

Beneath her, the young warrior stretched and sighed, on the verge of wakefulness herself. The white woman used the movement to snuggle closer without disturbing Anpo's rest. She inhaled deeply of the woman's scent. I just can't seem ta get enough of her! she marveled.

Today was the big day. Today the ti ikceya would be finished. Today Kathleen would lead Anpo into her lodge and officially join with her. From what she could gather from Hca, the blonde was essentially offering marriage to her warrior. Married. Ta a woman. Kathleen burrowed further into the warmth of Anpo's body. Aye, lass, now there's a quandary for ye. If ye ever make it home, how're ye gonna explain a wife?

But one thing was certain - Kathleen was far happier with the prospect of marrying her young warrior woman than when she'd married her husband. Is this what I've been headin' for all my life? Is this what I've been feelin' was missin'?

Further thought was halted on the subject as the long arm wrapped around her shoulders tightened and a voice spoke her name. With a smile, the white woman peered up into the dark brown eyes of her warrior.

"Ketlin. Did you sleep well?"

"Ohan, Anpo. I did. And you?"

The dark woman grinned in return. "Very well, winuhca." She yawned and stretched before wrapping her arms around her woman and holding her close.

Kathleen squirmed a bit in discomfort. My bosom is tender. Must be near my monthly time. She resolved to quiz her friend on how the native women took care of the problem as soon as possible.

Once breakfast had been eaten, Wanbli and Anpo wandered off together with the idea of bringing in some fish from the river. They took provisions for the day and their spears. As soon as they had disappeared, the women began their preparations in earnest.

Kathleen found herself again in the shapeless dress she'd arrived in, her own beautiful one taken by Hca Wanahca to be cleaned. The older woman began a stew while the blonde ground a bone awl against a rock. Waniyetu Gi would occasionally stop her work to inspect the awl until it was sharp enough to pierce a piece of hide.

"Very good, Ketlin," the older woman smiled, setting the awl aside. "You work hard. You will take very good care of Anpo and honor me."

"Thank you." The blonde colored a bit at the compliment.

"Now, you and I will prepare your ti ikceya for tonight." She took Kathleen by the hand and helped her up. Gathering together some things, she handed them to the blonde saying, "These will become yours now."

Dark blue eyes blinked at the older woman. "Th.... Thank you, uncisi! You are so good to me!" Kathleen swallowed a lump developing in her throat.

A hand gently rested against a pale cheek. "You make my cunksi smile like the sun she is named after. I cannot do enough to show you my thanks."

What did I ever do ta deserve this!? And then the tender moment was gone and Gi was once again businesslike.

"Come, Ketlin. You and I will prepare your lodge for your joining."

Kathleen was led off, her arms full of robes, her heart happy.

Anpo hefted a leather satchel full of fish, pulling the strap over her head and across her broad shoulders. Her father carried another bag, this filled with the remainder of their leftover meal, and led the way back towards camp. The river had been teeming with trout and the pair had speared many.

"Ate?"

"Hau, cunksi."

"How long have you and ina been joined?"

There was a pause as Wanbli Zi considered the question. "We were joined a winter before our first child was born."

"I am sixteen winters. That would mean that you were joined..." and a dark brown furrowed in consideration. "You were joined twenty-three winters ago!"

The older man's face broke into a craggy smile at the incredulous tone of his youngest. "Hau, Anpo. That seems to be right."

The pair walked in silence for a while.

"Ate?"

"Hau, cunksi."

"Did you ever hurt ina? With your words or actions?"

"Hau, Anpo. It is impossible not to. It is like trying to hold back the water in the river with only your hands." Wanbli looked to his daughter, seeing her serious profile. "All people get hurt in life, cunksi. It is what makes us strong, teaches us to overcome our weaknesses. Do not let it worry you so."

Date: 2015-12-11; view: 563