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Chapter 13

 

“I Was Dead”

Bobbi showered and changed quickly into a green turtleneck sweater and a short, straight black skirt, which she pulled over green tights. She brushed her hair, frowning at herself in the water-spotted locker-room mirror.

Feeling excited, she made her way out of the room, calling out good night to the few girls who were still there. As she half-walked, half-jogged back outside to the football team’s locker room, she relived that second-quarter nightmare, seeing the scene repeat in her mind.

There was Chip frozen in place. And there were the Winstead tacklers swarming over him. And there was Chip out cold on the ground, sprawled so flat, so still.

And then there came the stretcher. The worried coach and players forming a tight circle around their fallen quarterback. And then Chip being carried away. Under the bright—too bright—stadium lights, Bobbi saw his hands dangling limply, lifelessly, over the sides of the stretcher, saw that his eyes were closed, his head tilted at such a strange angle.

He’s dead, she thought.

It was so silent in the stadium. So unearthly silent.

We’re all dead. All.

But then whistles blew. The game resumed.

“Chasner injured on the play,” the stadium announcer informed everyone. Old news already.

The voices came back. The cheers and shouts. The band revived, blared out the Tigers’ fight song, the tubas punctuating each beat with a raucous blat.

Bobbi, feeling shaken and stunned, called out the cheers. Somehow, she knew, she had to keep going.

But is he okay? she wondered.

Is he okay?

Winstead scored quickly. The Tigers came back with Overman, Chip’s backup. They tried some running plays that didn’t work. After three plays, they had to punt.

Again Bobbi heard scattered boos. The cheerleaders across the field were leaping high, shouting with renewed enthusiasm.

Is he okay? Is Chip okay?

The game lost all interest for her. She called out cheers, kept the routines going, all on automatic pilot.

Word on the bench was that Chip had probably suffered a mild concussion and was feeling fine now. Everyone was very relieved.

She saw that he didn’t come out for the second half.

Did they take him to a hospital? Bobbi wondered. Is he still in the locker room? Does he still expect me to meet him?

The Tigers lost twenty-one to six.

And now here she was, nervously waiting in the student parking lot, in front of the door to the team dressing room. The stadium lights dimmed, then went out, casting the stadium, the parking lot, the entire back of the school, into sudden night.

As if someone had turned off the sun, Bobbi thought.

As her eyes adjusted to the new darkness, she saw Debra and Ronnie heading across the parking lot. Involved in conversation, they didn’t notice her. Bobbi watched them disappear around the corner, both of them talking animatedly, gesturing with their hands.

Strange that Kimmy isn’t with them, she thought. Maybe Kimmy had a date.

The locker-room door swung open. Bobbi recognized Dave Johnson, the running back. He came bouncing out, carrying a small knapsack, his hair still wet from the shower.



“Is Chip—Is he in there?” Bobbi stammered.

“Yeah. He’s coming out,” Johnson told her.

“Is he okay?” Bobbi asked.

But Johnson was already halfway across the rapidly emptying parking lot.

Bobbi started to shout after him, but the door opened again and Chip appeared. He moved forward unsteadily, smiling at her, his face pale, almost bloodless under the parking lot lights. He was wearing faded jeans and a Shadyside letter jacket that he had snapped up to the collar.

“Hi,” he called. “How’s it going?” His smile was forced, she saw. His eyes weren’t quite focusing on her.

“Are you okay?” she blurted out.

The question seemed to catch him off guard. “I’m not sure,” he replied, wrinkling his forehead.

He stepped closer to her.

“What happened?” Bobbi asked. “I was . . . well . . . worried.”

“Me too.”

She waited for him to say more, but his face fell into a thoughtful, faraway stare.

“So what happened? I mean—you’re okay?”

“I guess,” he said slowly. “Maybe a slight concussion. That’s what they said. I’m supposed to go right home. I feel kind of funny.”

“Oh.” She couldn’t hide the disappointment from her voice. “I have a car,” she said. “Can I give you a lift?”

“Yeah. That would be great. My parents are out of town. Actually, I’m glad my mom wasn’t at the game. She worries.”

“Do you feel kind of weird?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “Kind of. You know, spacey.”

“It looked so scary when you didn’t get up,” Bobbi said, leading the way to her parents’ Accord, which was parked around the front on the street. “Were you knocked out?”

“I guess.” He put a hand on her shoulder as if he needed to steady himself as he walked.

She slowed down. He waved to a couple of players from the team.

“Did it hurt?” she asked.

“No. Not really.”

“Am I asking too many questions?” she asked.

He didn’t reply.

Wow, this is sure going great, Bobbi thought unhappily. I’m asking question after question, and he’s staring off into space. He can barely walk or even answer me.

They made their way in silence to the car. She unlocked the passenger door and held the door open as he slid into the front seat.

A few seconds later she started up the car and turned on the headlights. “I don’t know where you live,” she said, turning to him, adjusting her shoulder seat belt.

“It was like I was dead,” he replied.

She stared into his eyes. “Huh?”

“It was like I was paralyzed or something. I couldn’t get my body to move, to do anything.” He turned his eyes to the windshield. A group of kids crossed in front of the car. One of them tapped on the hood as he passed.

“Chip—are you feeling okay? Should I call your parents or something?” she asked, feeling a stab of worry in the pit of her stomach.

“Well, aren’t you wondering why I didn’t pass the ball? Or hand it off?” he asked heatedly. “Isn’t that what everyone wants to know?”

“The doctor said you had a concussion, right?” Bobbi said, a little frightened. She started to pull away from the curb, but he stopped her, placing his hand over hers. His hand was ice-cold.

“Before I got the concussion,” he said, more quietly. “Before. When I was playing. I wanted to throw the ball, but it was like I had no control. Like I was paralyzed or something. Just for that moment.”

“I don’t understand,” Bobbi said, shaking her head.

Oncoming headlights filled the car with light. Bobbi and Chip both shielded their eyes. A car roared by filled with Shadyside kids, all the windows down, everyone singing along to a blaring radio.

“I couldn’t hand it off either,” Chip said. She realized he was explaining it to himself. She wondered if he even cared whether she was in the car. “I didn’t freeze. I just wasn’t there. I mean, I was and I wasn’t. I knew where I was, but I couldn’t move.”

“Uh, Chip . . .” Bobbi started, reaching again for the gearshift. They still hadn’t moved from the curb. “Maybe we’d better—”

He startled her by turning in the seat, leaning toward her, and grabbing her shoulders with both of his hands. “Chip—” she began.

“I’m kind of scared,” he said, his eyes wild and unfocused, his face closer and closer to hers. “You know? I’m really kind of scared.”

And then he pulled her down to him and started to kiss her. His lips felt hard and dry against hers. His hands held on to her shoulders, pulled her to him.

Bobbi started to pull away. But he seemed so needy, so frightened. Returning his kiss, she raised her hands to his wrists and removed them from her shoulders. Then she slid her hands around the back of his neck.

To her surprise, he was trembling all over.

The kiss ended as suddenly as it had begun. Chip, his expression a little embarrassed, leaned back against his seat. “Sorry. I—”

“That’s okay,” Bobbi replied, realizing her heart was pounding.

“Maybe we’d better get me home,” Chip said, avoiding her eyes, staring out the passenger window, which was beginning to steam up. “I just feel so weird.”

“Okay.” Bobbi put the gearshift into Drive and pulled away from the curb. As he directed her to his house on Canyon Road, she repeatedly glanced over at him. He seemed to flicker on and off in the light of the passing streetlights, so pale, so ghostly pale and worried looking.

“Bobbi, what happened to me tonight?” he whispered, staring out of the passenger window.

Bobbi had no reply.


Date: 2015-04-20; view: 562


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