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Chapter Eleven

The following Saturday Hilton, Jessie and Liz sat on the sand at the beach staring at the small shrine Hilton had built for the occasion. She lit three votive candles, one for the past, one for the present and one for the future. She put a picture of her mother in the middle of them and then lay a giant sunflower at its base.

Sunflowers were her mother’s favorite flower. The picture was Hilton’s favorite. It was one of her mother as a young woman perched on a bicycle, her legs spread wide and a girlish grin on her face.

Hilton lay back on the old quilt and stared up at the sky. The November gloom was settling in. The city would be monochro-matic for the next few months ahead. Maybe this year she’d really go to Mexico and get some sun like she promised herself every year. It always seemed something would come up or she’d find an excuse not to go. She imagined herself lying on the beach, wearing only a sarong. Every part of her would be brown and she’d buy a 129

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bunch of cheap silver bracelets because they always looked good against tanned skin. She wondered if her mother ever felt like running away to somewhere warm and simple, somewhere away from Percy.

“Hilton?” Jessie said, breaking Hilton’s ruminations.

“Yes.” She opened her eyes and sat up.

“How come he always sits up there in his big fat limo and never talks to you?”

Jessie was referring to her father, Percy Withers, who sat in the back of his black limo in the parking lot of the beach each year on this day. It was the only time she saw him, or rather, felt his presence. She couldn’t actually see him behind the tinted windows of the backseat, but his driver always waved so she’d know it was Percy. His driver seemed a decent man. Sometimes he’d get out of the limo and have a cigarette. Percy would stay as long as she did.

She would leave with her friends and the limo would drive off.

“There’s a few reasons, I think.” She shrugged. “Guilt, shame and greed.”

“Guilt for letting your mom die, shame because he didn’t save her, but I don’t get the third one,” Jessie said, eyeing the limo.

Percy’s driver was leaning on the side of the limo smoking. He was dressed in a black suit with a white shirt.

“Greed can be something more than money. He wants it all. He wants her memory, her death, her child, and he wants to suck the life out of all of them,” Hilton replied.

Liz took Hilton’s hand and squeezed it gently. “Did you invite Anne?”

“Yes.”

“I thought you would,” Liz said.

“How did you know?”

“Because she’s close to you now. It’s all right, Hilton. Our little family could stand some expansion.”

Hilton smiled.

Just then Anne came down the path to the beach that over-looked Puget Sound. She was carrying a bag from Pike’s Street 130

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Market. “I know it’s November and kind of chilly but I brought us a little picnic,” she said. She saw the shrine. “It’s beautiful, Hilton.



Your mother must have been a special woman.”

“It’s our way of remembering her,” Hilton replied.

Anne put the bag down. Jessie started pawing around in it.

“Wine, cheese, a baguette and grapes, red and green. Yum. How come we never thought of that?”

Liz gave her one of her “You’re such a swine” looks.

“Well, it seems like such a good idea,” Jessie said. “That’s all I meant.”

“Come see the shrine up close,” Hilton said as she took Anne’s hand. It wasn’t until they’d taken a few steps that Hilton realized what she’d done. It felt good. It felt natural and Anne didn’t appear to think it was weird so Hilton tried to relax.

“That’s her?” Anne asked, pointing to the picture.

“Yes, when she was about my age.”

“You look a lot like her. She was very pretty.” Anne squatted down next to the shrine.

“Thank you for coming. I know it’s kind of sad and weird.”

“It’s all right, Hilton. Really. I’m just glad you wanted me to be a part of it.” Anne stood and touched Hilton’s cheek.

Hilton closed her eyes and basked for a moment. She knew if Jessie saw this her conjectures would all be proven correct. Hilton knew she was right, only she wasn’t ready to let her feelings surface or discuss them with anyone, including Anne.

Anne broke her reverie. “What’s with the limo?”

“It’s Percy.”

“I didn’t know you two talked.”

“We don’t. He just comes and sits in the limo each year.”

“What! He gets this close to you and never says a word? That’s not right. Mind if I go have a word with him?”

“What would you say?”

“I’m going to tell him what a schmuck he is, that he has an incredible daughter and he might want to get to know her before it’s too late.”

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“Feel free. Beware of the cold fish.” Hilton couldn’t decide if she was scared or amused by Anne’s sudden defense of her.

Anne went tromping up to the parking lot.

“Where’s she going?” Liz asked in a panic.

“She’s going to tell Percy that he’s a schmuck for hiding out in the limo.” Hilton chuckled to herself, thinking that anyone who could make Percy feel uncomfortable scored big points in her world.

“Awesome,” Jessie said.

Hilton sat down on the quilt.

“Is that such a good idea?” Liz asked tentatively.

“I can’t see how it can possibly hurt.” Hilton stared out at the surf as it came rolling in. She heard the distinct rumble of a Harley as it came up the road. She lay down and rolled on her side, propping herself up on one elbow and facing Liz. “Tell me it’s not her.”

“It’s not her.”

Hilton rolled onto her back and closed her eyes, letting out a sigh of relief. She really didn’t want to see Nat right now.

“Hilton?” Liz said. “I lied. Just be polite. She won’t stay long.

She doesn’t have that kind of attention span.”

Hilton sat up. Shannon, who’d been chasing gulls on the beach, came roaring back. She barked at Nat, who stuck her hands in her pockets and almost looked shy.

“Hey,” Hilton said.

“I just thought I’d stop by, and you know, pay my respects.”

“That’s nice, Nat,” Liz said diplomatically.

“Percy here?” Nat glanced up at the limo.

“Same as always,” Hilton replied. Anne was standing with her back to the beach and talking with Percy.

“How’s Emily?” Nat asked.

“She’s great!” Jessie interjected. “They hang out all the time.”

“Cool. Well, I’ve go to go. Sherry’s waiting.”

“Sure,” Hilton said. She watched her walk up the hill. She waited for her heart to explode and bleed all over the perfect sand beach but it did nothing of the sort. Instead, she got this strange 132

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sense of absolute detachment. For the first time in her life she realized there would be a point when Nat wasn’t going to be there.

They were actually going to part.

“Jessie, why did you say that?” Liz asked.

“Because it’s over. Isn’t it, Hilton? If Nat thinks Hilton is still hanging on she’ll be back.”

“She’s right,” Hilton said. “And I’m okay with that.”

Anne returned. “That didn’t go in the direction I planned.”

Hilton smiled, knowing the sentiment well. “What did he say?”

“He basically told me that my opinion has been noted. The dysfunctional nature of his family, however, was none of my concern. I guess he’s got a point.”

“Percy is a pretty cold fish,” Liz said. “I had a political science seminar once and he came to speak. It was like he wasn’t human.

Sorry, Hilton.”

“Like I care,” Hilton responded.

The black limo started to creep down the road toward them.

The tinted back window slid down. “Hilton?” Percy croaked from inside. “I gave Ms. Counterman’s suggestions some review.

Perhaps it is time we end this little feud of ours. Would you like to come to dinner at the house?”

Hilton stared at him. He was a lot older than she remembered him and a considerable amount frailer. She did the math. He would be sixty-six now. His gray hair was reduced to a few thin spots around the sides. He looked old and creepy. She replied, “I can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?” His steely blue gaze met her own.

“I can’t. Gran made me swear before she died that I would never see you again.”

“Deathbed promises can be most bothersome and slightly impertinent, considering the person issuing them won’t be around to see the results. Did she tell you why?”

“Yes.”

“What did she say?”

“It’s not very pleasant.”

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“Grant me the unpleasantry.”

It was once again a battle of wills on the same beach that had changed all their lives forever. Only this time she wasn’t a six-year-old girl standing next to the bloated corpse of her mother. She had power this time. “Gran said you were evil and you destroyed the lives of anyone who loved you.”

“I see,” Percy’s bony white hand curled over the edge of the window.

“We wouldn’t have anything to talk about anyway,” she said diplomatically, suddenly feeling he needed the opportunity to save face.

He declined to take it. “There’s always the weather. Next year, then.” The tinted window went back up and the limo drove off.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Jessie snapped. “It’s gray for the rest of the winter, and if you don’t watch it you’ll grow mushrooms on the top of your head from all the fucking rain.”

“I almost felt sorry for him,” Hilton said.

“You’re like the million-dollar baby. Gran bought you from him. He chose money over his own kid. What kind of man does that?” Jessie said indignantly.

“I know. I overheard them the night Percy signed over custody.

He needed money and she wanted to protect me. He’d never admit that.” The picture was still fresh in her mind. The cracked door of the den and Percy yelling at Gran. She’d run to her room and later Percy came up and kissed her forehead. She pretended to be asleep.

“Hilton, are you all right?” Anne asked quietly.

“Yeah, I’m not like him, am I?”

“No, not ever. You have your mother’s heart and your grandmother’s soul,” Liz said quietly.

“Maybe you do have some of his emotional detachment,” Jessie said. “Ouch!” she said as Liz stepped on her foot. “And you don’t trust a lot of people,” she continued. Liz stepped on her foot again.

“Damn it, do you not know my foot is there?” She glared at Liz.

“I’m trying to get you to shut your big fat mouth.”

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“No, Liz, she’s right. I don’t give myself over easily.”

Anne took her hand. “Discretion is not a bad thing, Hilton.

Especially since you are who you are.”

“She’s right,” Liz said.

“Besides, we’ve got your back,” Jessie said. She sat down on the beach and removed her shoe. She rubbed her foot.

“Is it all right?” Liz asked as she peered down at it.

“You’re the one that did it.”

“I know that! But I can still be concerned. Sometimes brutal honesty is not always the best policy. Besides, Hilton is expanding her horizons. We have Anne now,” Liz said.

“And Veronica and Melissa,” Jessie chimed in. She put her shoe back on, obviously convinced the damaged appendage was going to survive. “Now, let’s eat.”

“Yes, let’s,” Hilton said, suddenly feeling much better. She had a new life now. The two people who’d caused her the most trouble were no longer lurking around her, unconsciously giving her pokes and prods just to see her react. She was over Nat, and she’d told Percy the truth. It couldn’t get much better than that.

They all sat down on the big quilt. Jessie prepared the feast with Anne’s help. The sun made a brief appearance and the seascape burst with a plethora of color. Hilton gazed out on Puget Sound and thought life was kind of like that, sometimes gray and depressing and then suddenly, out of nowhere it became bright and full of color. She wished her mother would have stuck around for those moments.

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Date: 2015-04-20; view: 743


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