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Take A Stand

by Jason Nelson* as told to Chris Lutes


There I was in a large circle with the rest of the football team. All the guys were staring right at me.

It was a late fall day and the temperature was in the 40s. Even so, I felt sweat dripping down my face, as much from nerves as from football practice. I'd finally gotten enough guts to talk to the team about something that had been bothering me for a very long time. I was finally going to confront the team about those beer parties. …

The first test …came when I had to sign the school's athletic pledge during my freshman year. As a football player, I had to sign a pledge stating I would not drink. As the coach handed out copies of the pledge to everyone, he said, "I believe in this pledge. I even helped write it. I want you to make sure you understand every word of it before you sign it."

To me, signing this kind of a pledge was something to be taken seriously. One thing that had always been important to my family was keeping our word. If I signed that pledge, I would live by it.

I was smart enough to know not everyone kept the pledge. Even though I was only a freshman, I'd heard a lot of stories about drinking parties held by guys on the team. In fact, I'd been told that at the end of every season, the guys on the team hold a big beer bash. Everybody throws in five dollars to pay for beer. And the seniors spend the evening walking around with a bottle of hard liquor, pouring a drink for any freshman who happens to stagger by.

I thought about all of this as I read the pledge one more time and quickly put my signature on it.

"Don't Get Caught"
At the end of my freshman football season, I filed into the small auditorium with the rest of the team and dropped into one of the seats. As the coaches walked to the front of the room, the hum of voices dropped to a few whispers.

Even though we had meetings every Friday before our Saturday games, this one was really important. It was the last time we'd get together before the final game of the season. … The coaches discussed strategies for the game. At the end of the meeting, the head coach said he had one more thing to say.

He remained silent for a moment, waiting for everyone to quiet down, then he gave us a short pep talk about the game. At the end of his talk, he said, "I want every one focused on the game tomorrow night. I don't want any of you thinking about other things. And I know what the five dollars is for…. Just don't get caught."

It kind of surprised me that the coach knew about the beer bash and the five-dollar "cover charge." I thought it was a secret among the football players. But what really stunned me was that the coach simply told us not to get caught.

When I'd joined the team in the fall, the coach had given us this big speech about signing the school's athletic pledge. Now he didn't seem to care whether or not we drank. All that mattered to him was that we didn't get caught.

I suppose I should have gone straight to the coach and talked to him about my feelings. But as a freshman, I was pretty intimidated by him. And then there was the team. The last thing I wanted to do was turn the whole team against me. So I ended up keeping my feelings to myself. …



Even so, I was still pretty quiet about my beliefs and values, especially when it came to the football team. Once again, we signed our pledges at the beginning of the season, and once again, I knew I needed to say something to the other guys. But I wasn't sure how to talk about it with them. Although I wanted to take a stand for what I believed in, and for the things I valued, I still felt intimidated by what they might think. So when the end-of-the-season party rolled around, I once again kept my feelings to myself.

Ready to Take a Stand?
… I decided I'd take a stand against the end-of-the-season drinking party.

About a week before the last game, I thought about backing out of my plans to talk to the team. Along with being worried about what the team would think, I was also worried about taking any focus off our last game. See, we'd had a great season, and if we won the final game, we'd win our conference championship. The last thing I wanted to do was divide the team or weaken our chances of winning.

… I couldn't back out now.

On Thursday afternoon, we had our last practice before the game. After we did our sprints at the end of practice, I jogged over to the team captain and said, "After you and Coach talk to the team, I'd like to say a few words."

The team captain said OK and called everyone into an all-team huddle. The Coach gave us a typical pep talk and then said, "We have a big game to focus on. We now have the opportunity to fulfill a lot of goals we've set for ourselves…. As for drinking this weekend, I don't want you to have any part of it. No excuses. I don't want it to happen!" And he meant it.

The coach's words caught me off guard. I had no idea he was going to say what he said. And I didn't know why he'd changed his attitude about the drinking party. … Knowing the coach had a change of heart about the drinking party made me less nervous about speaking out.

After the coach left the huddle, I started off my talk by reading a poem called "The Bridge Builder," an allegory about a guy who must get to the other side of a river. To do so, he must swim in a dangerous, life-threatening current. After he gets across the river, he decides to build a bridge back to the other side, so others who must come that way can cross safely.

After I read the poem, I talked about how the upperclassmen need to help "build safe bridges" for the underclassmen. I encouraged upperclassmen to set a good example for the younger players. Near the end of my talk I said something like:

"After the game tomorrow, the seniors are no longer obligated to keep the athletic pledge. But my encouragement to you is to set a good example for the underclassmen, especially the freshmen…. Personally, I don't think drinking will add to our success as athletes. To be the best we can possibly be, we need to get rid of partying and drinking. Let's go out there tomorrow and think only about the game. Let's give it everything we've got!"

When I stopped talking, the team was pretty quiet. Some guys actually thanked me. Nobody put me down. And, yes, we did win our conference championship! As for the party, I don't know how many guys ended up going. I just hope some chose not to go because of what I said.

One thing I do know is that the whole experience changed me. It made me feel better about myself, because I took a stand for something I believed in.

I also realized … I don't need to worry about the outcome. I don't need to worry about whether or not my words or actions made a big difference. I just need to [do what I ought to].

* Names have been changed.

 

 



Date: 2015-04-20; view: 934


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