Chapter Twenty-Two

Hanging on by a Thread

It’s a quick drive back to my house. I’m so grateful that Derek found me and helped me see things clearly. I’m more convinced now that there’s no way he could be my stalker.

“Thank you, Derek. You really are a good friend. I was in pretty bad shape when you found me, wasn’t I?”

“I thought I was going to have to call an ambulance and have you taken away to a rubber room. You were laughing, crying, hyperventilating, and making no sense. You scared the crap out of me, young lady.”

“I know. I completely panicked, but I see things more clearly now. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to thank you.”

“Listen, I don’t know why you have such huge trust issues, that’s your business. But give McGuire a chance. I think he deserves it.”

“Yeah, I do, too.”

It’s a little after three in the morning when we get to my house. All the lights are on, and there are cars everywhere. As soon as we pull up, Emmy comes running out of the house shouting, “She’s here. Somebody call Evan.”

I barely get both feet out of the car when Emmy and Auggie are sweeping me up into their arms. Marcus is here, too. He walks directly to Derek, grabs him by the shirt, and shoves him hard against the car.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, you sick son of a bitch?!” Marcus uses the full force of his size and strength to seize Derek in a very menacing hold. I watch in horror as Marcus continues to intimidate Derek viciously. “Answer me. Did you think we wouldn’t figure out that it was you?” He shoves him hard against the car again. “God help you if you laid one hand on her. You’re lucky it’s me here and not McGuire. You’d be dead by now!”

“Get the fuck off me. I didn’t do shit. Ask her ... go ahead ... you think you know what’s going on here? Fucking ask her!” he growls, trying in vain to free himself from the strong hold Marcus has on him.

“You’re not going anywhere until we straighten this shit out,” Marcus barks at him, giving him another hard shove into his car.

“Marcus, stop it!” I shout. “Why are you doing this?” I can’t believe this is happening. “This is all a big misunderstanding.”

Emmy tries to divert my attention away from Derek and Marcus. “Jette, where have you been? You disappeared. You never came back from your break. Why would you just leave like that, without your phone or ID? What are we supposed to think?” Emmy is visibly upset with me.

“You’re not supposed to think that Derek kidnapped me!” I shout. “Marcus, let him go. NOW!”

“Not until you tell us what happened. And talk fast. Evan will be here soon,” Marcus warns. “Camilla, did you call him?”

I didn’t even see Camilla. She’s standing on my front porch, staying far away from the pandemonium. “Yeah, he’s on his way.”

Auggie takes my hand and speaks to me with his kind and concerned voice. “Jette, baby girl, please tell us what happened.”

“Oh, Auggie. Derek found me in the staff room. I was hysterical. He couldn’t get me to calm down. There was no way I could possibly go back to work after I saw Evan on T.V. with Averee DeVeau.” Saying her name aloud leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

“Evan didn’t say anything about that, Jette. Are you sure about what you saw?” He doesn’t believe me.

“I know what I saw and I know what I heard, Auggie. He was with her TODAY!” My stern look and tone seem to have had an impact. Auggie’s eyes open widely and I can actually see him considering my explanation.

Marcus loosens his grip on Derek, but not completely. “That was hours ago. Where have you been this entire time?”

Derek tries to explain. “At first, we just drove –“

Marcus cuts him off. “Not you,” he gives Derek another good shove. “Her.” I can hear the air escape Derek’s lungs as his back collides with the car. “Jette, where did he take you?”

“We were at the diner the whole time. Marcus, it’s my fault! Derek wanted to take me home, but I wouldn’t let him. You have to believe me. Derek didn’t do anything wrong.”

Emmy chimes in with questions, too. “I don’t understand why neither one of you called. Derek, you have a phone. Didn’t you get any of our calls? We’ve been trying to find you for hours. None of this makes sense.”

“Don’t talk to me,” he snarls at Emmy. “You want answers, ask Jette. None of you would believe me, anyway!”

I need to get control of the situation before Evan arrives. If he gets anywhere near Derek, I don’t think he’ll be asking a lot of questions. He’ll be taking matters into his own hands, literally. It’s obvious that Auggie and Emmy have everyone convinced that Derek has been stalking me, and now they all believe he kidnapped me. First, I need to get Derek safely out of here, and then I need to get this chaos moved inside.

“Marcus, listen to me. Let Derek get out of here. I can explain everything. But I’m not doing any more talking until you let him go.” I start begging. “Marcus, please. It’s not safe for Derek to stay here. Do you want to be responsible if this gets out of control? You know it will the minute Evan gets here.”

Emmy, at least, seems willing to listen to reason. “Marcus, she’s right. Besides, we can’t stand here in the street in the middle of the night screaming at each other. Let Derek leave before someone calls the police.”

Even Auggie is being rational. “All we have are our suspicions and assumptions. If Jette says he didn’t hurt her or force her to leave with him, I think we should believe her.”

Marcus looks directly at Derek and gives him a warning. “Get your ass out of here.” He lets go of Derek and steps away. “The only reason I’m letting you go is because I don’t want to see McGuire go to jail tonight.”

Without a word, Derek gets in his car, slams the door, and speeds away. I owe it to him to straighten this out. He’s going to get the apology he deserves if it’s the last thing I do.

As soon as Derek is gone, Auggie releases his grip on my hands and I’m free to go in the house. The others follow me silently. I go straight to the refrigerator and pour myself a big glass of wine.

I get two good gulps down when Evan comes bursting into the house with Adam following directly behind. He pushes everyone to the side and grabs me. “Juliette, are you okay? What did that motherfucker do to you, baby? Tell me, please.”

“Evan, the only person who hurt me tonight was you.” All the blood drains from his face and he releases his hold on me. “I saw you on television going to Averee’s loft today. You’re still wearing the same clothes. I thought you were leaving me.” That, I’m sure, is the last thing he expected to hear coming from my lips right now.

“Juliette, is that what you believe? That after all this, I would just dump you and go back to her?” I hate having this conversation in front of an audience.

“Averee seems to think you would. She’s telling the whole damn world you two are back together again. I guess I’m just supposed to pretend I didn’t see you going into her apartment and I didn’t hear her say on national television that you’re dating again, right?” I’m not backing down.

“Is that a ‘yes’? You believed her, didn’t you? And I supposed Derek just happened to be there when this all happened? Am I supposed to believe that?” Evan looks at me with an expression that I’ve never seen before, anger and disappointment.

“Yes, Derek just happened to be there. He just happened to be the only one who listened to me cry my heart out; he just happened to be the one who stood up for you; and he just happened to be the one who convinced me to come home and talk to you!”

Marcus interrupts us. “Listen guys, I think it’s best if we skip outta here now. You two have a lot to discuss and we should give you some privacy.”

“Don’t you dare leave, Marcus. I haven’t even started with you yet.” He looks at me, stunned. “I expect you to drive straight over to Derek’s house and apologize. You let Auggie and Emmy convince you that your friend did some very horrible things. What proof did you have? Absolutely none!”

“You want to go there? Okay, then. What the hell were you thinking? You knew we had our suspicions about Derek. But rather than do the responsible thing and actually tell someone where you were going, you just disappeared. For hours! How about you apologize to Derek for putting him in this position in the first place?” His arms are crossed on his chest and he’s waiting for my response.

Auggie actually takes Marcus’ side. “Jette, you promised all of us you wouldn’t be alone with Derek. How were we supposed to know you’d willingly break that promise?”

With her hands on her hips, Emmy begins to lecture me. “You literally disappeared for hours. We were worried sick. Do you have any idea how upset Evan was? He came to the bar to surprise you and you were gone!” Great, now Emmy’s ganging up on me, too.

Evan explains, “I thought you were abducted. I pictured you stuffed in the trunk of his car ... or worse.” He is breathing hard. There is an unfamiliar icy tone to his voice and his face is hardening with a stony expression. “I need to get out of here,” he said bitterly.

“This is bull shit. I’m going to bed. The hell with all of you!” I storm off into my room and slam the door shut. No one comes to me this time. I hear Evan’s car pull away first. That’s when the tears start flowing again. I cry until I have no tears left to shed. How could everything get so out of control?

When the sun rises, I find the strength to get up and leave my room. I’m physically and emotionally exhausted. I tossed and turned for hours, constantly checking my phone for messages or calls from Evan that never came.

I open up my dresser drawer looking for something to wear and the first thing I spot is Evan’s UMD sweatshirt. I lift it up to my nose and inhale deeply ... it still smells like him. I pull it over my head and wander into the kitchen to make myself some coffee.

Marcus’ last words are playing over and over in my mind. He told me that I owe Derek an apology. I swore to myself that Derek would get the apology he deserved, and I suppose that apology should come from me.

I really want to go right over to Derek’s house and talk to him face-to-face, but it’s way too early. They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, so I use the time while I wait to bake cookies. I make a double batch of chocolate chunk cookies. There are a lot of people I need to make amends with.

As I measure the brown sugar and white sugar, I weigh the choices I made last night and wonder what I could have done differently. I can think of several things I would change if I could have a do-over.

The simplest thing would have been to simply let Derek answer the phone when Emmy called. Thinking back, I realize that it was my selfish desire to avoid confrontation that fueled my decisions.

I also could have let Derek take me home like he wanted. What was I so afraid of? Seeing reminders of Evan may have been the smarter thing to do rather than hide at the diner feeling sorry for myself.

As I place my cookie sheets in the oven to bake, my mind drifts to Evan. He’s certainly right about one thing, I momentarily lost faith in him. That’s something I cannot take back.

Aside from yesterday’s trip to the city, Evan has spent almost every waking moment with me. I know intellectually that there’s no way he’s had the opportunity to rekindle a relationship with anyone else, much less Averee De-Ho.

However, if all I had was that bitch Averee’s word for things, I never in a million years would have been swayed. Unfortunately, I wasn’t just faced with her words, Evan himself brought this upon us the moment he set foot in her loft, knowing that his movements would be documented and broadcasted by the paparazzi.

As much as it pains me, I’m going to give Evan some space and time. I can only hope he comes to the same conclusions I did, we both brought this on ourselves.

While the cookies cool, I take a shower. I have a small collection of cake boxes in my closet, which I fish out and prepare to fill with chocolate chunk cookies.

I go online to search for donkey clipart and print four copies onto crisp, white paper. I dust off my art supplies, pen a proper apology, and hand-decorate the card. It contains a simple message, “Sorry I was such an ass. Please forgive me.” I fill four boxes of cookies for Emmy, Derek, Marcus and Auggie.

I leave Auggie’s cookies on the counter for him to find when he wakes up.

My first stop is to Marcus’ house to drop off his cookies. His house is dark and quiet. I can only assume he’s still sleeping, so I leave his cookies on his front porch. I’m sure either he or Camilla will find them soon enough.

Next, I drive to Emmy’s house. I’m not surprised when I find an empty driveway. She must have spent the night with Grant. That means I can kill two birds with one stone, so I head directly to my final destination, Derek’s house.

When I pull up in front of Derek’s house, Emmy’s car is parked in the driveway. I can tell that someone is up. The front door is open and I can hear chatting. I knock softly so that I don’t wake anyone who might still be asleep. Derek appears at the front door, looking well rested and freshly showered.

“I was wondering when you’d show up,” he says dryly.

I hand him his cookies and ask him for his forgiveness. “Derek, I really screwed things up badly last night. Is there any way you’ll ever forgive me?”

“Jette, I know you never meant for things to snowball the way they did. I could have insisted we call someone, too. I knew there was some crazed person out there, and I let everyone worry unnecessarily.” He’s quiet for a moment, and then adds, “I need to learn how to say no to you.” I didn’t think it was possible, but now I feel even worse.

I follow Derek as he takes his cookies to the kitchen, and sitting at the table are Emmy and Grant. I walk straight up to Emmy with her box of cookies in hand. “Looks like you’ve been busy this morning,” she says.

“Emmy, I’m so sorry I made you worry last night.”

“Jette, Derek explained everything. I made some pretty big mistakes, too. If Derek can forgive me, I can forgive you.”

“Yeah, I guess we all screwed up big time, didn’t we? What the hell happened last night?”

I get the entire, horrible story. First, Emmy tells me about how she and Marcus panicked when they found out that I left with Derek, fearing the worst. They wanted to believe Jack when he told them that I went home sick. They waited an hour and called Auggie to check on me. Just as Auggie was telling them that I never showed up, Evan arrives at the bar to give me a ride home. It doesn’t take much convincing for them to persuade Evan that Derek is my stalker and abductor.

Then Grant tells me how Evan and Adam showed up here and demanded to see Derek’s room. He tells me how they trashed his room, looking for clues that would tell them where Derek might have taken me. Apparently, that’s what they were doing when Camilla called Evan.

“Oh, Derek, I’m so sorry. Can I help you put your things back together again?” I hate to think about Derek having to clean up more of the mess I created.

“No need. Evan came by last night and apologized. He and Adam made things right, Jette. Like I told you last night, he’s really a good guy,” he reminds me. “We talked and came to an understanding.”

“About what?” I wonder.

“You. Let’s just call it a gentleman’s agreement.”

“Oh. Ah, okay.”

“Did he call you this morning?” Emmy questions me.

“No,” I utter softly, wiping my eyes.

“Give him time. He’ll call. I’m sure of it. He loves you, Jette. He’s just upset, too, you know,” she states confidently.

“I hope you’re right, Emmy. Why did I have to turn on that damned television last night?” I sulk.

“You could call him, you know.”

“Yeah. I know.”

I apologize one more time to all three of them, and head back home to get ready for work.

For once, my night at work goes by uneventfully without any complications or drama. I still haven’t heard from Evan. I know that tomorrow I will see him. The night of the big Restore the Shore Benefit has finally arrived. I miss him so damned much, it hurts. For the second night in a row, I cry myself to sleep.

It’s still pitch black out when I’m startled awake by the slow creaking of my bedroom door opening. A dark figure is standing in my doorway. I sit up and wipe the sleep from my eyes. Am I dreaming or am I awake? “Evan?”

Softly, he mutters, “I couldn’t sleep without you.”

“Are you really here?” I ask skeptically.

“Shhh ... go back to sleep.”

He slips off his shoes and climbs into bed beside me. Wrapping his arm around my waist, he pulls me close. He smells so good and feels even better.

“I’m still mad,” he whispers.

“Me, too,” I reply.

“I love you, Juliette.”

“I love you more, Evan.”

I can actually feel him smile. Another tear falls, and Evan wipes it from my cheek. Together, we drift off to sleep wrapped in each other’s arms.

I wake up hours later. The sun is up, shining brightly, casting a warm glow throughout my room. I turn over, and my bed is empty. Was it just a dream? Did I want him to come back to me so badly that I fantasized the whole thing? God, I hope I’m not going crazy.

Folded neatly on my dresser is Evan’s UMD sweatshirt that I wore yesterday. Perhaps wrapping myself in him, enveloped by his scent, swathed in his warmth, caressed by his soft touch, is what brought about last night’s dream.

I slip his sweatshirt over my head again. If I can’t have the real thing, this will have to do.

Auggie must be up because I smell fresh coffee brewing. Knowing that I look like hell, and not really caring right now, I wander into the kitchen.

The sight before me stops me dead in my tracks. “Evan?” I ask. “You’re really here?”

I can’t stop what happens next. I fall to my knees and cry. Deep, bellowing, unladylike sobbing. I have no idea why I’m crying, but now that I’ve started, I cannot stop.

Evan drops to his knees and looks me straight in the eyes. “Baby, why are you crying? I’m right here.”

“I thought . . . I lost . . . you.” It’s all I can get out in between the sobs.

He stands up and lifts me into his arms effortlessly, as if I were a rag doll. I wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his neck. Closing my eyes and concentrating as best I can, I try to slow my breathing and calm my emotions. I can feel the tears slowly subsiding.

Gently, he sits on the couch and places me on his lap. I don’t want to look at him. I hate that he’s seeing me like this. I hate everything about this situation.

There’s a box of tissues on the table beside the couch. I grab one from the box and give my nose a really good blow. I grab another to wipe my eyes and place both wadded up tissues on the table.

“Are you ready to talk about what happened?” Evan moves loose tendrils of hair from off my faces and places them behind my ear.

I nod. “You first.”

“Thursday night was the worst night of my life, Juliette. Not knowing where you were or if you were safe was pure torture. I thought I might never see you again.” Evan’s face looks tormented. He runs his hands through his hair and continues. “My worst fears almost came true – that you were in danger and I couldn’t protect you. I’ve had nightmares ever since. I had to come over early this morning just to make sure you’re safe.”

“How did you get in? Wasn’t the house locked?”

“Adam left your keys with me, along with the alarm code. We both thought it would be best if I had access to the house in case of an emergency.”

“Oh.” I’m glad he has keys to my house. I hope he has an opportunity to use them again. I hope he wants to use them again. “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking clearly when I took off with Derek. I thought you left me. I believed that my worst fear had come true – that you realized you needed more. That’s what I have nightmares about, Evan.” I feel like my heart is breaking all over again.

“You don’t trust me. You don’t believe we’ll really have a future together. You don’t have faith in us, or in this,” he states despondently.

I can’t blame him for being upset with me. “But sweetie, you didn’t see what I saw. It’s our first day apart, and you go running right to Averee. I saw you at her loft. Why? And why is she telling everyone that you’re dating her again?” I ask softly, wiping away the tears that have sprung again.

“I didn’t want to say anything, but she’s been calling and texting me for a while now. When she showed up at the Knicks game, that was the last straw. Somehow, she found out that we were going to be there. She orchestrated that meeting, baby. I had to go tell her face-to-face to back off. I think she told people we were dating just to get back at me.”

“So you didn’t trust me, either. You never told me she was calling you. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Juliette, you have to understand. I know how much you worry about my old lifestyle and I was trying to save you that pain.”

“So you’re mad at me for not trusting you, but you didn’t have enough faith in me to tell me what was happening. We’re at a little bit of an impasse. Where do we go from here, chief?”

“All I know is that I can’t live without you. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can’t concentrate. We have to find a way to get past this and move forward.”

“How do we do that, Evan? I want you to have faith in me. I want to trust you, too.”

“I think I have an idea.” He lifts me off his lap and walks towards the door. “I’ll be right back.” I can hear him open the trunk of his car and slam it shut.

When he comes back, he’s got a blue Tiffany’s box in his hand. My heart starts racing, my pulse is quickening, and my imagination is running wild. I knew he went to Tiffany’s on Thursday, but I was too afraid to ask him about it.

He sits back on the couch with me and hands me the gift box. “Open it, please. I was hoping to give this to you Thursday night. When I bought it, I couldn’t wait to get home to give it to you. But ... well ... you know how that worked out.”

The box is too large to be a ring box. I can’t imagine what it could be. How could this gift make a difference in our relationship? I open the box and waiting inside is a silver key chain with a beautiful heart pendant and a key, a house key.

“I don’t understand. What does this mean?”

“Juliette, I want to go to sleep at night with you beside me. I want to wake up each morning with you in my arms. I want you to know that I’m coming home to you every night. I want you to move in with me. I love you.”

This is the last thing I expected to happen today. “But what about Maddy? I can’t just dump her on Auggie.”

“Bring her. She’s one of the reasons we’re together today. We can take her running on the beach with us every day. But if you don’t want to – “

“Evan, I want to be with you more than anything. Are you sure you’re willing to put up with all my crazy insecurities? Rumor has it, I’m quite a handful.” A smile is plastered across my face.

“I think I can handle you. Is that a ‘yes’?” he asks.

“Yes.”

“God, I love you.”

“I love you more.”

Date: 2015-02-28; view: 672