Chapter Thirteen

Shifting Sands

“Good morning, Sunshine.” Derek must have heard me getting up.

“Good morning, Derek.” Slowly, I make my way into the kitchen to join him, sitting at the table directly across from him.

“How do you feel this morning, Jette?”

“My head is pounding. I really overdid it last night, didn’t I?”

“I don’t know, maybe. One minute you’re fine, the next minute, you’re gonzo. That’s mostly my fault, I think. Sorry about that.”

“Yeah, you know what? It is mostly your fault. If you didn’t make me do so many shots, I might not have this hangover.” I crumble up the napkin in front of me and throw it at his head. I don’t think he expected me to hit him, because he didn’t even try to avoid it. He looks almost as shocked as I am when it hits him square between the eyes.

“Well, then there’s only one thing left to do. You have to let me make it up to you. You’re working the lunch shift today, right?” I nod. “Me, too. How about you let me take you out to dinner? My treat. I promise, no alcohol.” He leans back in his chair and waits for my answer. There’s a sparkle in his eye as we talk. I don’t know if I’ve ever really noticed that before.

“Gee, Derek, that sounds great, but I have plans with Evan tonight. I promised him we could talk.” Why do I suddenly feel guilty about having plans with Evan?

He picks the paper back up again so I cannot see his face. “He doesn’t deserve you, you know,” he says behind the newspaper.

“I know.”

My headache has already reduced to a dull ache and I definitely need food in my stomach. I rummage through the cabinets looking for something edible to have for breakfast. All I can find are different boxes of cereal and I nearly settle on Frosted Flakes when I spot a box of Bisquick. Scanning the room quickly, I spot a bunch of overripe bananas and I immediately set to cooking breakfast for my host and his still slumbering guests.

“Derek, can you give me a hand? I need a mixing bowl and a frying pan.” Derek puts down the paper and locates the necessary tools for me to get started.

“What are you making?”

“Bananas Foster Pancakes. I really could use some help. Do you think you can handle following the recipe on the box and mixing up a batch of pancake batter? All you need to do is add milk and eggs, then mix it together.” I hand him the box and show him the recipe. “I’ll cook, I just need you to get it ready for me.”

Meanwhile, I’m relieved when I quickly find some brown sugar and cinnamon. Since this is a bachelor’s home, I’m surprised I can find any baking ingredients at all. Along with butter, that’s all I’ll need for my topping.

Derek’s kitchen is small and there’s not much room for us to move around each other. It’s almost like being behind the bar together.

“Let’s take a look at your batter.” No sooner are the words leaving my mouth when I realize how that could be taken. What is wrong with me?

Derek eyes me and smirks. “Is that how we’re going to play this, Jette? You want to play dirty with me?”

“You know what I mean.” Damn. I really don’t want to play games with Derek. He steps aside to let me assess his progress. “It looks good, let’s get started. I’m going to start frying the pancakes. Can you slice up all these bananas for me?” I hand him the bunch of bananas and send him back to the kitchen table.

The pancakes fry up pretty quickly. Once done, I get to work on the topping. I melt the butter in the pan, and then add the brown sugar and a little cinnamon. I instruct Derek to add the bananas for me as I continue to stir. Standing in front of the stove together is nice. I’m starting to feel like we can go back to our playful friendship.

“Can you go grab some rum to top this off?” Derek returns with three different kinds of rum, and I quickly select the bottle of Bacardi and add it to my mixture.

Just as I had hoped, the smell of breakfast cooking has roused Emmy and Grant, and they join us in the kitchen. Emmy makes us some coffee and Grant sets the table.

The four of us sit and enjoy a nice meal together. It feels like the awkwardness between Derek and me earlier is dissolving. I’m glad for it.

Emmy and I leave after we finish cleaning up. It’s a quick drive to my house. As I get out of her car, she has one simple thing to say to me before leaving. “Jette, work your shit out with Evan. It’s tearing you up and making you crazy.”

“I know. You’re right. See you at work.”

Auggie is home hanging out with Maddy when I get in. I fill him in on the events that I can recall from last night. I remember the heated discussion about Evan. I remember playing Apples to Apples. I remember doing shots. After that, it gets a little fuzzy.

“Evan called me last night,” Auggie announces. “He sounded really freaked out.”

Shit, I vaguely remember talking to him last night. What the hell did I say? “And?”

“And ... he was worried about you. Now I guess I understand why.”

“Auggie, I don’t know what to do. He’s all I can think about. I’m thinking I may have overreacted a bit when I broke up with him. I thought he lied to me just to get me into bed. But ever since our fight, he’s been bending over backwards to apologize. You’ve gotten to know him. What do you think?”

“Juliette, I know how hard it is for you to trust. God knows you haven’t had very good role models in that department. From everything I’ve seen, this boy is crazy about you, too. When he left the other day, he was torn up pretty bad. Want to know what he told me?” I nod. “He was on his way here to tell you everything. He found out about the Internet picture of you two on the beach and he knew his time was up. If this was nothing more than a game to him, he’d be long gone by now.”

“Maybe you’re right.” It’s amazing what a powerful agent time is. I don’t know if it’s true about time healing all wounds, but it definitely helps. During the time that has passed, I have observed a man trying to make amends. Each gesture has brought me closer to forgiveness. The closer I get to forgiveness, the stronger I feel. Holding onto anger makes me feel weak, like someone who is too easily wounded. I want to forgive. I want to move forward. I want to release the anger. If I choose to forgive, it must be with the understanding that I will not forget. As if on cue, Evan sends me a text to confirm our plans for tonight.

Evan: Good morning running grl. Hope ur feeling OK

Jette: Barely. What r tonight’s plans?

Evan: That depends on you. Can u come over for dinner after work?

Jette: Yes. Time?

Evan: How about 6?

Jette: I’ll be there. TTYL

Evan: XO

Auggie grins at me, “Was that Evan?”

“Yeah, how did you know?”

“Jette my Pet, you’re grinning like a fool. I know you haven’t made up your mind, but if you listen to your heart, you’ll know what to do.”

“Oh, I almost forgot to ask. Are you still going to your parents’ for Easter dinner tomorrow?”

“Yup. You know you’re welcome to join us, right?” Auggie has a big family dinner at his parent’s house every year. Their house is just a few miles away, right on the Manasquan River. But there’s no way I can leave my mother and grandmother alone for the holiday.

“Thanks, Aug, but I’m going up to Bayonne tomorrow and I’m hoping you can take care of Maddy for me. I don’t know what time I’ll be home.”

“Are you going to invite Evan to join you?”

“Why would I do that? We broke up, remember?” His mother and sister live in North Jersey and I’d bet my bottom dollar he’ll be spending the holiday with them, anyway.

“Doesn’t really sound like you broke up to me. Listen, I’m heading out to meet with a client. Will you be home for dinner?” Auggie asks.

“No, Evan invited me over for dinner so we could talk.”

“So you’re just going to talk? Sure. Good luck with that.” I get a comforting kiss and a hug from my best friend before he’s out the door.

After checking the clock, I panic when I realize I have to be at work in an hour. That’s barely enough time for a quick shower. Forty-five minutes later and I’m on my way.

The boardwalk is packed today. Emmy and I are working the patio alone. Lunches on the patio usually mean a lot of soft drinks and bottled beer. We spend a good deal of our time cleaning the bar and the outdoor tables and chairs.

I leave Emmy to finish up as I head to the back to get more beer to stock the reach-in for tonight. I almost run directly into Derek as he’s rushing to get behind the bar.

“Derek, you’re almost an hour late. Are you okay?” I ask him. He looks terrible. Something must have happened.

“I’m fine. I got a flat tire on the way to work. Good thing I had a spare.” He hurries off to start his shift at the indoor bar today.

The day drags on uneventfully. Emmy and I pull apart nearly the entire bar to give it a good spring-cleaning. Customers come and go throughout the day. Jack pops over to check on us. He seems pleased with our work. I’m glad. When I took this job, I thought it would only be temporary. I really wanted to work in the Sweet Shoppe. But that would mean no longer seeing my friends every day. I don’t know how I feel about that anymore. Jack said there might be an opening after Memorial Day. That’s over a month and a half away. A lot can happen in that time.

Derek comes back to find us during his break. He’s holding a stack of small posters. They must be the posters advertising the Restore the Shore benefit next weekend. When I see them, I cannot believe my eyes. Among the many faces of stars and celebrities staring at me is Evan “Big Mac” McGuire ... and his dimples. “Can I keep one?” I ask.

He hands me two. “Take two.”

The shift change starts at four o’clock. Marcus shows up on the patio to relieve Emmy and me. He looks at the posters I’m bringing home and he just shakes his head. “So, when do I get to meet Big Mac? I get the feeling he’s going to be around a while, isn’t he?” I give Marcus a kiss on the cheek and head to the back room. It’s time to go home. I have a date tonight.

Auggie’s not here when I arrive back home. He knows I’m not going to be around for dinner, so he and Brandon have probably made plans. Maddy isn’t waiting for me when I arrive. I’m surprised. She usually greets me and jumps all over me when I get in. I take a quick scan of the house, and she’s nowhere to be found. My panic is allayed when I find her outside in the backyard. I don’t remember leaving her out there. Auggie must have come home for lunch and let her out. I hope she hasn’t been out there all day. I’ll have to say something next time I see him.

I plug in my iPod as I take a shower. It’s a Bruno Mars kind of night. First up is one of my favorites, the Lazy Song. I even had it for a ring tone for a while. Next, he croons about buying flowers which has such a special meaning for me. In his next song, he sings about loving someone Just the Way You Are and I’m picturing Evan’s beautiful face, incredible shoulders, amazing abs, and that ass! I shouldn’t be thinking like this. That’s enough for me, time to get out of the shower.

Wrapping myself in a towel, I head directly to my room. I stop dead in my tracks when I see that lying on my bed is a red dress that I bought for a party last year. It’s short, sexy, and shows just enough skin to be seductive. Lying beside the dress is a red thong and a pair of stiletto heels. Before I panic, I decide to send Auggie a text. He likes to pick out my clothes. Maybe he selected tonight’s ensemble. Trying to word it so as not to alert him is key. While I consider my options, I quickly walk around the house, securing all the doors and windows.

Jette: Hey any wardrobe suggestions for tonight?

He instantly responds... keep it simple. skinny jeans and a cami should do the trick.

Jette: Thanks ;)

That means Auggie didn’t leave the outfit for me. Could it have been Evan? No! There’s no way he’d let himself into my house and do this while we are still technically broken up. Did I do this myself and simply forget? I was pretty hung over this morning.

I know that right now the house is locked securely so I try to calm myself. First I put my dress and shoes away, then I take a walk around the house to see if anything else is out of place. Nothing. Everything looks normal. If it wasn’t me, Auggie, or Evan, who the hell was in my house going through my closet?

This just doesn’t feel right. Should I call the police? What would I tell them? Someone picked out clothes for me and let my dog out? They might send over the entire S.W.A.T. team for that!

All I can think about right now is getting the hell out of this house as quickly as possible. I’m alone and feeling vulnerable. I hate to do this, but I think I’m going to have to head over to Evan’s earlier than planned. First, I need to make sure he’s home since I’m not expected for another hour.

Jette: Mind if I come over a little early?

Evan: Sure! Come over now

Jette: Thx be there soon

When I arrive, Evan swings open the door and wraps me in a big bear hug. This time I allow it, and even hug him back. It feels amazing to be in his arms again. He’s freshly showered and smells so good.

“I didn’t think I’d ever get to do that again. I’m so glad you’re here, Juliette.” He steps back to let me in and I can’t help but appreciate the sight of the man standing before me. He’s wearing a pair of well-worn jeans that rest on his hips and an old black concert tee that is tight in all the right places. Of course, he’s barefoot. He runs his hand through his wet, messy hair and I’m lost. All reason is gone and I’m reduced to a bundle of nerves and hormones.

He guides me through the house and into the living room. “Just let me put away a few things.” He’s got binders spread out all across the coffee table and classic rock booming through the speaker system.

“I’m sorry, were you working?”

“No, not really. Well, sort of. I’m just reviewing my playbooks. Adam brought them over yesterday and I have a lot of new plays to learn. I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere.” He takes his binders into his home office and turns down the music a bit.

Looking around, I’m reminded of my first visit to this living room where we played Guitar Hero. Rich memories of those early attempts at flirting sweep through my thoughts. My heart stops when I feel Evan’s arms wrap around my middle as he whispers in my ear, “Thank you.” His breath on my neck is intoxicating.

I turn around and look directly into his piercing blue eyes. “You’re thanking me? For what?” I ask him.

“For giving me a chance to explain. The fact that you’re here with me now is a miracle, a second chance. Right now, I’m all about second chances.” He releases me from our embrace and takes me by the hand and leads me out onto the deck. “Let’s talk.” It’s still bright out and we sit under the canopy on a pair of matching lounge chairs.

“Are you hungry, Juliette? I thought we would order Chinese.”

Oh, I almost forgot I was invited here for dinner. Food is the last thing on my mind right now. “No, I’m really not hungry. Maybe in a little while if that’s okay.”

“No that’s fine. I’m not hungry for food, either.”

“Can we talk about what happened the other day, Evan? We still have a lot of unresolved issues to discuss, you know.” He’s no longer looking at me. He seems worried and anxious. I know what he’s about to tell me isn’t good, so I feel like I should try to make him more comfortable. “Listen, I’ve already read a lot of the stories online. Now, I just want to hear your side of it. I promise, I won’t run. But I need you to be honest with me, about everything!”

“I didn’t mean to mislead you. I always intended to tell you the whole story, my whole story. But every time we were together, I didn’t feel like that same guy. It was different with you. We were a normal couple just getting to know each other and I’ve never, ever had that before. I wanted it to last and I was afraid if you knew what you were getting yourself into, you’d run screaming for the hills.”

“Is everything I read true? Did you really date Sienna Bradley?” I’ll forever be wondering if he’s comparing me to her, and frankly, there is no comparison.

“No. Absolutely not. We met at a movie premiere last year when I was getting a lot of publicity. The two things Sienna likes the most are spending her daddy’s money and seeing her name in print. We went out a couple of times and she got what she wanted. If I wasn’t getting the press attention at the time, she never would have given me the time of day. We both knew it. I never heard from her again. I never even bothered to put her phone number in my contacts. Want to check?” He takes his phone out of his pocket and offers it to me.

“Put it down, Evan. I don’t need to check your phone to see if you’re lying to me. We agreed to be honest, right?”

“Yes, we did. Thank you.” He leaves the phone on the table, just in case I change my mind, I’m sure. “You probably read about Holly Dempsey, Olivia Alexander and Averee DeVeau, too.”

“I did.” Averee is the pop star that Evan spent a lot of time with. Olivia plays a vampire vixen on cable TV’s ‘Transformation’ and Holly got her five minutes of fame by winning a dating show, ‘Sealed With a Kiss’. “Was everything written true?”

“Well, most of it was true. I didn’t know Holly was engaged. She never bothered to tell me that. But I suppose that’s because neither one of us planned on spending much time together.” He pauses, searching for the right words. “I only went out with each of them a couple of times. Sometimes we would hook up when I was in town.”

“It looked like it got a little more serious than that with Averee DeVeau, Evan. I saw pictures of you going to awards shows with her and vacationing in Mexico together. Pictures don’t lie.” I need him to be honest with me.

“Pictures may not lie, but they don’t tell the entire story, Juliette. Averee was someone I had a lot of fun with. She knew I wasn’t looking for a relationship. I never let it get serious. That Mexico trip was something we did on a whim. We’re both young and had money burning a hole in our pockets.”

“How do you keep meeting all those beautiful, famous women?”

“See, when you’re in the NFL, you get a lot of invitations for movie premiers, awards ceremonies, charity functions, and stuff like that. You know, just like the benefit here next weekend. I have managers that pick and choose which ones I should attend. They usually pick the ones that get us the most publicity. The more publicity I get, the more press the team gets. All that attention translates into better ticket sales at the games.”

“It sounds like you were living the golden life. How could you possibly give all that up? Now you’re here, in this little beachy town, spending time with this silly local girl. How long do you think you will be satisfied with this small life?” This is the question I want answered the most.

“For as long as you’ll have me. No contest. This isn’t a small life. The life I was living before was small. Not one of those women gave a rat’s ass about me. I was a plaything, a toy, a shiny new piece of jewelry. All we did was live in the moment before we moved onto the next distraction. That’s not a life, Juliette, that’s an existence.”

“Adam said you’ve had a rough year and that you can’t afford to be like that anymore. Can I ask you what happened?”

“I don’t like to talk about it, but I want you to know everything. Are you sure you want to hear more? I’m afraid that if I tell you, you’ll leave me for good this time.”

I hold his hand and look directly into his eyes and tell him, “I’m not going anywhere. I want to know.”

“The NFL has a personal conduct policy that all players have to sign. If any player is found engaging in violent or criminal activities, they face the possibility of fines, suspension, or being banned from the league entirely.”

“I don’t understand, Evan. Nothing you’ve described to me so far sounds inappropriate.” He shakes his head and closes his eyes. This is the part he didn’t want me to know about.

“Some of the players receive invitations to speak on college campuses about a wide variety of topics. After the lectures, there are parties. Lots and lots of parties. Frat parties, sorority parties, you name it, we get invites.” Now I start to remember the pictures of him with beer funnels and hot tubs.

“I saw the pictures. A website called ‘the Dirty’ had it all online.”

“Did it say that some of the girls were under 21? They tried to charge me with furnishing alcohol to minors. I didn’t buy the alcohol and I didn’t live in the residence, so they couldn’t charge me, but there were threats of other felony charges with a maximum penalty of actual jail time.”

“Are you serious? Evan, I’ve been to tons of college keggers. They actually wanted to hold you, one of the guests, responsible for serving minors?”

“One of the girls’ families threatened to sue me unless we settled out of court. I almost did it, too. I almost gave those blood suckers enough money to take care of their little party girl for a very long time. Before signing anything, I had to meet with the team’s legal department and explain the whole fucked up situation. They felt that I was setting myself up to be the next Ben Roethlisberger and the best thing for everyone, including the front office, would be for me to start fresh with a new team.”

“Ben who?”

“Roethlisberger. He’s the quarterback for the Steelers. On two separate occasions, women tried to extort him for a cash payoff with threats of rape charges. Ben claimed each encounter was mutual and no one was underage. It’s a he-said, she-said kind of thing that no one ever wins. He came extremely close to getting kicked out of the league permanently.”

“Oh my God, Evan. That’s horrible.”

“The Commissioner thought it would be best if I moved back closer to my family so I could get my shit together. There was an opportunity to make the change, and I jumped at the chance. I’ll never be that guy again, Juliette, I swear.”

“I believe you. I understand. Will you forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive.”

“But there is. I didn’t have faith in you. I believed everything they printed about you without getting the full story. I promise I will never let that happen again.”

“I’m glad to hear you say that. You have to swear to me that you won’t go looking for more information on the Internet. If you hear something, you have to come to me and ask. Let me explain, or let Adam explain. If I have lunch with some woman and the press is there, they assume I’m sleeping with her. Please believe me when I tell you that there’s no one else.”

I crawl onto his lap and cuddle into his chest. I wrap my arms around him and inhale his scent. “But you have to have faith in me, too. Faith that I can handle whatever you throw at me. I’m not made of porcelain, you know. You can’t break me. Other men have tried, but none have succeeded.”

Evan wraps his arms around me and holds me close. “Who tried to break you? Give me their names and I’ll make sure they never come near you again.” He kisses me on my forehead and allows his lips to linger. Electricity shoots through every nerve ending.

“Let’s order some take-out, then it’s my turn for confessions.”

Date: 2015-02-28; view: 528