Chapter 28

Who knew the best time of your life could be on a mountain, in the middle of a desert, caught up in war games?

With an M16 retrofitted paintball machine gun in my hand and Avis clothes on my body, I head into enemy territory. The mask is too big, the shirt is flimsy except in the boob area, and the pants are about to fall off, but I manage to look enough like Avi maneuvering through the rocks.

My heart is racing wildly, because I know it's just a matter of time until they realize I've got boobs and not muscular pecs. While my boyfriend is slinking around the other side in his undies, with black paint on his body (my artwork, thanks to the small container of face paint he had in his vest) and his own paintball gun, I'm the decoy.

Avi gave me specific instructions to surrender so I don't get hit.

They won't fire unless fired upon. Although I know and they know that Avi would never go down without a fight.

I run from one rock to another just like Avi told me to. (Imagine one of those ducks going back and forth in a carnival shooting game.) I'm still a bit shocked he agreed to my plan, but it just goes to show that a great leader like Avi knows how to listen as well as lead. I admit it took a little coaxing from me. At first he wasn't into letting me become the target. But when I assured him I'd be okay, and that we were in this together, he finally relented.

He said to count to ten and then hold my hands over my head to surrender. But as two of the opposing team members move closer to me, cornering me on both sides, I start to panic. They're too far away to make out that it's me, but I desperately want Avi to have time to rescue the hostages from his squad and fix this botched exercise. I have to help him, even if it means opening fire to kill the enemy. I wouldn't shoot anyone in real life, because even after all of this training, I'm still totally for peace and happiness and rainbows and sushi.

But this is paintball. And I'm taking no prisoners.

I turn my gun on auto and shoot. Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!

Little paint balls are flying ferociously out of my gun. Since it's dark, I have no clue what I'm shooting, and hope I'm hitting at least some part of the enemy squad. I'm Rambo and GI Jane all wrapped into one.

Something hard whacks my back and thigh. "Ouch!" I scream.

"That hurt!"

I look down at my thigh and realize I've been hit.

By a paintball.

I'm officially dead. I think.

Date: 2015-02-28; view: 653