Just for Now 4 - Abbi Glines

“Well, if it ain’t li’l Manda, all dressed up and coming out to play.”

water I’d been sipping chose this moment to strangle me. Covering my mouth to muffle my hacking cough, I turned away from the warm breath against my ear. I had shown up here tonight for one reason: to see Preston Drake. Wasn’t it just my luck that when he finally decided to notice I’m alive, I started coughing up a freaking lung?

’s amused chuckle as he patted my back didn’t help my humiliation any. “Sorry, Manda, I didn’t know my presence would get you all choked up.”

I was able to speak again, I turned around to face the guy who had been making a grand appearance in my late-night fantasies for a couple of years now. All the primping I’d suffered through so that I looked irresistible tonight was pointless. Preston was grinning at me like he always did. I amused him. He didn’t see me as anything more than the innocent little sister of his best friend, Marcus Hardy. It was cliché. How many bad romance novels had I read about the girl falling hopelessly in love with her brother’s best friend? Countless.

“You startled me.” I wanted to explain my sudden burst of coughing.

tipped a bottle of beer to his lips and took a drink while keeping his eyes cut toward me. “Are you sure it wasn’t my sexy-as-hell voice whispering in your ear that caused your momentary lack of oxygen?”

, that was probably it. But the guy knew he was beautiful. I wasn’t going to add to his ego. Crossing my arms over my stomach, I struck a defensive pose. I never knew how to talk to Preston or what to say to him. I was so afraid he’d look me in the eye and know that I closed my eyes at night and imagined doing very bad things to his body.

“Damn, Manda,” he said in a low, husky voice as his eyes lowered to my breasts. I’d worn a low-cut white blouse tonight, and a really good push-up bra, in hopes of at least getting Preston to see that my body was all grown up. Besides, I knew he had a thing for boobs. It was obvious by the girls he dated. . . . Well, he didn’t really date. He just screwed them. My boobs were not big, but a good push-up bra and the right position and they weren’t too bad.

“That’s a real nice shirt you got on.”

was really looking at me. Or at them—but they were a part of me, so it was the same thing. “Thank you,” I replied in a normal voice that betrayed the fact I was breathing a little faster now.

took another step toward me, closing the small area that had separated us. His eyes were still directed at the cleavage I had pushing up in full view. “Maybe wearing a shirt like that ain’t real smart, Manda.” His deep voice caused me to shiver. “Aw hell, girl, don’t do that. No shivering.”

large hand touched my waist. His thumb brushed against my stomach and gently pushed the hem of my shirt up. “I’ve been drinkin’ since four, sweetheart. You need to push me away and send me packing, ’cause I don’t think I can stop this on my own.”

whimper. Oh, yes. Should I start begging now?

lifted his eyes to meet mine. His long, pale blond hair that girls everywhere wanted to get their hands in fell forward over one of his eyes. I couldn’t help it. I reached up and tucked the loose strands behind his ear. He closed his eyes and made a small, pleased sound in his throat.

“Manda, you’re real sweet. Real fucking sweet, and I’m not the kind of guy you’re supposed to let get this close.” His voice was almost a whisper now as his eyes bore into mine. I could see the slight glassy look that confirmed he’d had too much to drink.

“I’m a big girl. I can decide who I let get close,” I replied, shifting my hips so that he had a better view directly down my shirt if he wanted it.

“Mmmm, see, this is where I think you might be wrong, ’cause untouched little bodies like yours, all fresh and sweet, shouldn’t tempt guys who are only looking for another hot fuck.”

about hearing Preston Drake say “fuck” out of those full, pink lips of his was a major turn-on. He was too pretty. He always had been. His lashes too long, his face too sculpted and you add that in with his lips and hair, you get one lethal package.

“Maybe I’m not as untouched as you think,” I said, hoping he didn’t detect the lie. I wanted to be one of those bad girls he didn’t mind taking in a back room up against a wall.

lowered his mouth to barely graze the skin on my shoulder that was revealed by the shirt I’d chosen. “You telling me that this sweetness has been played with?”

. “Yes,” I replied.

“Come take a ride with me,” he asked close to my ear as his teeth pulled gently on my earlobe.

“Okay.”

moved back and nodded toward the door. “Let’s go.”

probably wasn’t such a good idea. If Rock, Dewayne, or any other of my brother’s friends saw us leaving together, they’d stop anything from happening. And I wanted something to happen. Alone time under the covers thinking about Preston Drake was getting old. I wanted the actual man. I wonder why Preston hadn’t thought about our exit. Did he want the guys to stop us? I glanced over at their usual table, and Rock wasn’t paying us any attention. Dewayne winked at me, then went back to talking to some girl.

looked back at the bartender. “I have to pay my tab first.”

nudged me toward the door. “I got your tab. You go get in my Jeep.”

. Yes. I wanted to go get in his Jeep. This would also have us leaving separately. Nodding, I hurried for the door, thinking I may have just won the lottery.

around the parking lot, I searched for Preston’s Jeep. When I didn’t see it out front, I headed for the back of the building to see if he’d parked back there. Most people didn’t because there were no lights around.

into the darkness, I wondered if this was smart. A girl really shouldn’t be out here by herself at night. Maybe I should just go back to the part of the parking lot were it was well lit.

“Don’t you back out on me now. I’m already going half mad thinking about this.” Preston’s hands came around my waist and pulled me tightly up against his chest. Both of his hands slid up and covered my boobs, squeezing them, then tugging on my top until it was low enough that he could feel the exposed skin of my cleavage.

“Sweet God Almighty, real ones feel so damn good,” he murmured.

couldn’t take a deep breath. Preston’s hands were touching me. I wanted him to touch more. Reaching up, I undid the buttons on my shirt and let it fall open. I found the front clasp of my bra and quickly unfastened it before I could back out. We were in the middle of a very dark parking lot, and I was being a complete slut.

“Damn, baby. Get your ass in my Jeep,” Preston growled as he pushed me forward a few more steps, then turned me left by directing my hips. His Jeep appeared in front of us. I was pretty sure we couldn’t do this in a Jeep.

“Can we, uh, do this in here?” I asked as he turned me around to face him. Even in the dark his light hair stood out. His eyelids were lowered, and those long lashes of his almost brushed his cheeks.

“Do what, baby? What is it you wanna do? ’Cause showing me these pretty titties has me going a little crazy.” He pressed me back up against his Jeep as he lowered his head and pulled one of my nipples into his mouth and sucked hard before flicking it with his tongue.

one had ever kissed my boobs. The immediate explosion that went off in my panties as I cried his name hadn’t been on purpose. My head was pressed back on the Jeep window, and my knees had completely given out. Preston’s hands holding firmly to my waist had kept me from ending up a heap on the gravel.

“Motherfucker,” Preston growled, and I started to apologize when his hands cupped my butt and he picked me up. I grabbed his shoulders and wrapped my legs around his waist, afraid he would drop me.

“Where are we going?” I asked as he stalked deeper into the parking lot. Had I made him mad?

“I’m getting your sexy ass back here so I can strip off your clothes and bury my dick into that tight little pussy. You can’t go do shit like that, Manda, and expect a guy to control himself. It don’t fucking work that way, baby girl.”

was going to “fuck” me. Finally. Not exactly what I wanted him to refer to it as when we finally did it, but Preston wasn’t one for roses and candlelight. He was all about the pleasure. I knew that already.

reached out and opened a door behind me. We stepped into a dark and slightly chilly room.

“Where are we?” I asked as he sat me down on a box.

“Outside storage unit. It’s okay. I’ve used it before.”

’d used it before? Oh.

could hardly see him, but I knew from the shadow of his movements that he was taking off his clothes. First his shirt. I wanted to see his chest. I’d heard from girls giggling about it around town that he had one of the tightest, most ripped stomachs they’d ever seen. Rumor was, even Mrs. Gunner, the wife of one of the city council members, had slept with Preston. I didn’t believe that, though. He was just too pretty to have sex with someone her age. I heard a crinkle and started to ask what he was doing when it dawned on me—he’d opened a condom wrapper.

hands started running up the insides of my legs, and I didn’t care so much about Mrs. Gunner or the other rumors I’d heard about his sex life.

“Open up.” His husky demand got the desired effect. I let my legs fall open. His hand slipped right up to the edge of my panties. With one finger he ran down the center of my warmth. “These panties are fucking soaked.” The approval in his voice eased any embarrassment I might have felt from a comment like that.

his hands reached up and slipped my panties down until they were at my ankles. Preston knelt down and slipped each of my high heels through the holes. Then he stood up and leaned over me. “I’m keeping these.”

panties?

“Lay back,” Preston said as his body came over mine.

reached back to make sure that the box was large enough for me to lie all the way back. “You got plenty of room, Manda. Lay back,” Preston repeated.

didn’t want him to change his mind or possibly sober up, so I did as I was told. The cardboard was sturdy and full of something firm and heavy, because we didn’t even put a dent in it.

’s mouth lowered to mine and I prepared myself for our first kiss, when he stopped. His lips hovered over mine only for a second before he moved away and began kissing my neck. What had just happened? Did my breath smell bad? I’d just had a peppermint inside the bar.

little licks and nibbles he was making along my collarbone made it hard for me to think too clearly about it.

his hips lowered and both of his hands shoved my skirt up around my waist. I didn’t have too much time to prepare myself before he was pressing against my entrance.

“Tight, fuck, fuck, it’s so tight,” Preston whispered, and his body trembled over me, making the sharp pain between my legs a little more bearable. “I can’t hold back, Manda. Fuck it . . . I can’t.”

sliced through me, and I screamed and bucked underneath him. He was cursing while saying my name as he slid in and out of me. The pain slowly started to ease, and I felt the first tremor of pleasure.

“AHHH, holy shit,” Preston cried out, and his body jerked over me. I wasn’t sure what exactly had just happened, but from the small moans coming from him, he enjoyed it.

he didn’t move anymore and the hard length inside of me began to go away, I realized it was over. Preston pushed himself back away from me and slowly pulled out of me as he muttered more curse words. He moved, and from what I could see, he was putting on his shirt. Already?

sat up and pushed my skirt down. The fact that I was on display suddenly mattered. When I heard the zipper on his jeans, I quickly fastened my bra and started buttoning my shirt.

“Manda.” His voice sounded sad. “I’m sorry.”

opened my mouth to ask him what for, because what we’d just done I’d completely asked for, when he opened the door and walked off into the darkness.

One

months later . . .

bottom step was rotten. I needed to put fixing that on my priority list. One of the kids was going to run down them and end up with a twisted ankle—or worse, a broken leg—if I ignored it. Stepping over it, I walked the rest of the way up the steps to my mother’s trailer.

had been a week since I’d stopped by and checked on things. Mom’s latest boyfriend had been drunk, and I’d ended up taking a swing at him when he’d called my seven-year-old sister, Daisy, a chickenshit for spilling her glass of orange juice. I’d busted his lip. Mom had screamed at me and told me to get out. I figured a week was enough time for her to get over it.

screen door swung open, and a big gap-toothed smile greeted me.

“Preston’s here!” Brent, my eight-year-old brother, called out before wrapping his arms around my legs.

“Hey, bud, what’s up?” I asked, unable to return the hug. My arms were full of groceries for the week.

“He brought food,” Jimmy, my eleven-year-old brother, announced, and stepped outside and reached for one of the bags I was carrying.

“I got these. There’s more in the Jeep. Go get ’em, but watch that bottom step. It’s about to go. I gotta fix it.”

nodded and hurried off toward the Jeep.

“Did you get me dose Fwooty Pebbles I wyke?” Daisy asked as I stepped into the living room. Daisy was developmentally delayed in her speech. I blamed my mother’s lack of caring.

“Yep, Daisy May, I got you two boxes,” I assured her, and walked across the worn, faded blue carpet to set the bags down on the kitchen counter. The place reeked of cigarette smoke and nasty.

“Momma?” I called out. I knew she was here. The old beat-up Chevelle she drove was in the yard. I wasn’t going to let her avoid me. The rent was due. I needed any other bills that may have come in the mail.

“She’s sweepin’,” Daisy said in a whisper.

couldn’t keep the scowl off my face. She was always sleeping. If she wasn’t sleeping, she was off drinking.

“The dickhead left her yesterday. She’s been holed up pouting ever since,” Jimmy said as he put the other groceries down beside mine.

riddance. The man was a mooch. If it wasn’t for the kids, I’d never show up at this place. But my mom had full custody because in Alabama as long as you have a roof and you aren’t abusing your kids, then you get to keep them. It’s some fucked-up shit.

“You bought free gaddons of milk?” Daisy asked in awe as I pulled out all three gallons of milk from a paper bag.

“’Course I did. How are you gonna eat two boxes of Fruity Pebbles if you don’t have any milk?” I asked, bending down to look her in the eyes.

“Pweston, I don’t think I can dwink all free,” she said in another whisper. Dang, she was cute.

ruffled her brown curls and stood up. “Well, I guess you’ll have to share with the boys, then.”

nodded seriously like she agreed that was a good idea.

“You bought pizza rolls! YES! Score,” Jimmy cheered as he pulled out the large box of his favorite food and ran to the freezer with it.

them get excited over food made everything else okay. I’d gone weeks with nothing but white bread and water when I was their age. Momma hadn’t cared if I ate or not. If it hadn’t been for my best friend, Marcus Hardy, sharing his lunch with me every day at school, I’d have probably died from malnutrition. I wasn’t about to let that happen to the kids.

“I thought I told you to get out. You caused enough trouble ’round here. You run off Randy. He’s gone. Can’t blame him after you broke his nose for nothin’.” Momma was awake.

put the last of the cans of ravioli in the cabinet before I turned around to acknowledge her. She was wearing a stained robe that was once white. Now it was more of a tan color. Her hair was a matted, tangled mess, and the mascara she’d been wearing a few days ago was smeared under her eyes. This was the only parent I’d ever known. It was a miracle I’d survived to adulthood.

“Hello, Momma,” I replied, and grabbed a box of cheese crackers to put away.

“You bribing them with food. You little shit. They only love you ’cause you feed them that fancy stuff. I can feed my own kids. Don’t need you spoilin’ ’em,” she grumbled as she shuffled her bare feet over to the closest kitchen chair and sat down.

“I’m gonna pay rent before I leave, but I know you have some other bills. Where are they?”

reached for the pack of cigarettes sitting in the ashtray in the middle of her small brown Formica table. “The bills are on top of the fridge. I hid ’em from Randy. They made him pissy.”

. The electricity bill and water bill pissed the man off. My mother sure knew how to pick them.

“Oh, Pweston, can I have one of dese now?” Daisy asked, holding up an orange.

“Of course you can. Come here and I’ll peel it,” I replied, holding out my hand for her to give it to me.

“Stop babying her. You come in here and baby her, then leave, and I’m left to deal with her spoiled ass. She needs to grow up and do shit herself.” Momma’s bitter words weren’t anything new. However, watching Daisy flinch and her eyes fill up with tears I knew she wouldn’t shed for fear of getting slapped caused my blood to boil.

bent down and kissed the top of her head before taking the orange from her and peeling it. Confronting Momma would only make her worse. When I left, it would be up to Jimmy to make sure Daisy was safe. Leaving them here wasn’t easy, but I didn’t have the kind of money it would take to go to court over it. And the lifestyle I’d chosen in order to make sure they were okay and taken care of wasn’t one that the courts would look favorably on. There wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell I’d ever get them. The best I could do was come here once a week and feed them and make sure their bills were paid. I couldn’t be around Momma more than that.

“When’s Daisy’s next doctor’s appointment?” I asked, wanting to change the subject and find out when I needed to come pick her up and take her.

“I think it’s last week. Why don’t you call the doc yourself and find out, if you’re so damn worried about it. She ain’t sick. She’s just lazy.”

finished peeling the orange and grabbed a paper towel, then handed it to Daisy.

“Tank you, Pweston.”

knelt down to her level. “You’re welcome. Eat that up. It’s good for you. I bet Jimmy will go out on the porch with you if you want.”

frowned and leaned forward. “Jimmy won’t go outside ’cause Becky Ann lives next doowah. He tinks she’s pwetty.”

, I glanced back at Jimmy, whose cheeks were bright red.

“Dammit, Daisy, why you have to go and tell him that?”

“Watch the language with your sister,” I warned, and stood up. “Ain’t no reason to be embarrassed ’cause you think some girl is good-looking.”

“Don’t listen to him. He’s in a different one’s panties ever’ night. Just like his daddy was.” Momma loved to make me look bad in front of the kids.

grinned. “I know. I’m gonna be just like Preston when I grow up.”

slapped him on the back of the head. “Keep it in your pants, boy.”

laughed and headed for the door. “Come on, Daisy May. I’ll go outside with you for a while.”

didn’t look back at Momma as I finished putting away the food, then retrieved the bills from the top of the fridge. Brent sat silently on the bar stool, watching me. I would have to spend a little time with him before I left. He was the middle one, the one who didn’t push for my attention. I’d sent the other two outside knowing he liked to have me to himself.

“So, what’s new?” I asked, leaning on the bar across from him.

smiled and shrugged. “Nothing much. I wanna play football this year, but Momma says it costs too much and I’d be bad at it ’cause I’m scrawny.”

, she was a bitch.

“Is that so? Well, I disagree. I think you’d make an awesome corner or wide receiver. Why don’t you get me the info on this and I’ll check into it?”

’s eyes lit up. “For real? ’Cause Greg and Joe are playing, and they live in the trailers back there.” He pointed toward the back of the trailer park. “Their daddy said I could ride with them and stuff. I just needed someone to fill out the paper and pay for it.”

“Go on ahead and pay for it. Let him get hurt, and see whose fault it’ll be,” Momma said through the cigarette hanging out of her mouth.

“I’m sure they have coaches and adults overseeing this so that it is rare someone gets really hurt at this age,” I said, shooting a warning glare back at her.

“You’re making me raise the sorriest bunch of brats in town. When they all need bailed outta jail in a few years, that shit is all on you.” She stood up and walked back to her room. Once the door slammed behind her, I looked back at Brent.

“Ignore that. You hear me? You’re smart, and you’re gonna make something of yourself. I believe in you.”

nodded. “I know. Thank you for football.”

reached out and patted his head. “You’re welcome. Now, why don’t you come on outside and walk me to my Jeep?”

, my older brother, was mad at me. He was convinced I was staying home instead of going to Auburn like I’d planned because of Mom. I wasn’t. Not really. Well, maybe a little bit. At first it had been for completely selfish reasons. I’d wanted to get Preston Drake to notice me. Well, three months ago I’d gotten my wish for about forty minutes. Since then he hadn’t looked my way once. After several pitiful attempts to get his attention, I stopped trying.

, it was a little too late to decide I wanted to go to Auburn instead of the local junior college. I was almost relieved I couldn’t go away, though. My mom was dealing with the betrayal and desertion of my dad. He now lived an hour away with his new young girlfriend and their child.

home meant leaving Mom all alone in this big house. If I hadn’t made the decision to stay and try to get Preston’s attention, I’d be leaving today for Auburn. Mom would be crying and I would be sick to my stomach with worry. She just wasn’t strong enough to be left alone just yet. Maybe next year.

“You can’t live here forever, Amanda,” Marcus said as he paced in front of me. I had come outside to the pool with the new copy of People magazine hoping to get some sun, but Marcus had shown up. “At some point we’re going to have to let Mom learn to cope. I know it’s hard. Look at me, I’m still stopping by four to five times a week just to make sure she’s okay. But I don’t want you giving up your dreams because you feel responsible for our mother.”

’d managed to keep my not going away to Auburn a secret from him until today. Normally, he was so wrapped up in his world with his fiancée, Willow, and his online courses to keep up with what I was doing.

“I know this, but maybe I just wasn’t ready to leave home. Maybe this is all about me. You ever think of that?”

frowned and rubbed his chin hard, which meant he was frustrated. “Okay. Fine. Say you don’t want to go away just yet. Have you considered maybe going in January? Getting your feet wet with college while at home, then venturing out?”

, I laid my magazine in my lap. I might as well give up on reading it until he’d gotten this off his chest. “No, I haven’t, because that is stupid. I can go an entire year here, then transfer next year. It works for me. I know people here, and I want to be here for the wedding. I want to help Willow plan it. I don’t want to be four hours away missing all this.”

’d hit him below the belt. Anything to do with his wedding and he went all soft. Marcus stopped his endless pacing and sat down on the end of the lounge chair beside me. “So this is really about you wanting to stay at home? You’re just not ready to leave yet? Because if that is really the case, then I’m good with that. I don’t want you going off if you’re not ready. Sure as hell don’t want you going to Auburn. But if this is what you want—you want—then I’m happy. I just don’t want what Dad did to take away any more of our lives than it already has.”

was such a good guy. Why couldn’t I be infatuated with a good guy like my overprotective, loving brother? There were guys out there like him. I’d met a few. Why did I have to be hung up on a male slut?”

“It is all about me. I swear.”

nodded, then slapped my foot before standing back up. “Good. I feel better now. Since you’re not moving away today, you’re invited to the engagement party the guys are throwing for me and Low.”

? “What guys?”

“You know, the guys. Rock, Preston, Dewayne—well, the truth is, mostly Trisha is throwing it and the guys are all planning the alcohol.”

“Does she need help?” I asked, thinking how ridiculous it was that I was asking in hopes that I would be thrown together with Preston in some part of the planning.

“Yeah, I’m sure she does. Why don’t you give her a call?”

would do that. Today. “Okay, cool. When is it?”

“This Friday night.”

Two

“Where do I put these large paper balls, and what the hell are these, anyway?”

, the only other female who’d managed to get one of my friends to tie the knot, glanced back at me from her perch on top of the ladder and laughed. “Put the box of lanterns on the table over there beside the flowers,” Trisha instructed me before turning back to tying ribbon from the ceiling.

I’d agreed to help with this party for Marcus and Low, I’d thought that meant I was chipping in for the beer. Not carrying shit and hanging it up all day long. Trisha had demanded we all be here at eight this morning. She’d barely given us a break for lunch. The next time one of my dumbass friends got engaged, I wasn’t making the mistake of offering to help again.

“Five more boxes in the truck, Preston. What’re you standing around for?” Rock asked as he walked in behind me and dropped a box on the table.

“I’m trying to find a way to get the hell out of here.”

chuckled. “Good luck with that. My woman ain’t letting anyone free until we’ve got this thing looking just the way she wants it.”

“A warning that Trisha was a party-decorating Nazi would have been nice.”

slapped my back. “Nope. Then it’d just be me and Trisha. I wanted y’all to suffer through it with me.”

. Five more boxes, and then I was finding a way to sneak out. I followed Rock back outside to the truck. A familiar little Mercedes coupe pulled into the drive. What the hell was Amanda doing here? She was supposed to be safely tucked away at college by now. I wouldn’t have come to the Hardys’ beach condo if I’d thought there was a chance she could be here. Damn it. The girl was driving me crazy. She’d started flirting with me heavily about three months ago. And she hadn’t let up. I wasn’t someone she needed to be flirting with. My life was too fucked up for the likes of an innocent like Amanda.

car door swung open, and out came a very long tanned leg. I stopped. I was weak where she was concerned. After a very vivid dream about what she’d feel like and taste like, I’d been closing my eyes and pretending like every other woman I ended up fucking was Amanda. I was sorry scum for doing it, but . . . ah, hell . . .

stood up, and the tiny little red shorts she was wearing made those long legs that ended in a pair of red heels look endless. Fuck, I was going to get a boner. I’d been thinking about those legs wrapped around me for three months too long. If she’d treat me like the creep I was, then it would be easier to ignore, but she didn’t. She smiled and batted her long eyelashes and flipped her blond hair over her shoulder. Even the few nights she’d managed to get drunk at Live Bay, the local club, the innocence pouring off her was a major red flag.

“Get a box!” Rock yelled at me as he pulled out another one of the boxes from the truck. I didn’t make eye contact with her. I couldn’t. She’d smile, and I’d be an ass trying to get her to go away. Ignoring her worked better. I didn’t like to see that sweet little flirty gleam in her eyes suddenly turn to hurt when I opened my mouth and spewed lies. I’d seen it too many times this summer. I was staying the hell away from that. My heart couldn’t take it.

a box, I headed back to her daddy’s condo. It was set directly on the beach, and a perfect spot for tonight’s party. The patio opened up to the condo’s pool—we had reserved it for a private party.

“Hello, Preston.” Amanda was beside me.

was relentless. “Manda, aren’t you supposed to be off at college by now?” Please, God, let her be leaving and getting far away from my dirty mind.

“I’m staying here this year. I decided I wasn’t ready to leave home just yet.”

, fuck me. She was staying here? No! I needed her to leave before I did something stupid. Like hauling her ass into the nearest bedroom and stripping off them red shorts, then tasting every last inch of her.

“Gonna have to grow up sometime, Manda. Can’t stay at home with Mommy forever.” I was a prick.

didn’t have to glance over to know Amanda had stopped walking beside me. I’d done it again. All I ever managed to do was say things to hurt her feelings. I needed to leave it like this, just go inside and pretend like we hadn’t even spoken. But I couldn’t.

stopped and turned to look back at her. She was standing there with her hands clasped tightly in front of her, making her tits push together and—holy fucking shit! She wasn’t wearing a bra under that flimsy little shirt she had on. You could see her nipples poking through the fabric. What was she doing? She didn’t need to dress like that.

“Manda, go put on a bra. I know your boobs aren’t that big, but that shirt requires a bra.”

big green eyes welled up with unshed tears. It was a punch to the gut. I hated that every word I said to her was cruel, but I needed her to stay away from me. She had no idea exactly who I was. No one did, really. I was many different things to many different people. Sometimes I didn’t even know who the hell I was anymore.

ducked her head, and long blond hair fell over her shoulders. She crossed her arms over her chest and walked briskly past me and into the condo. I set the box down at the door, then turned and headed out to my Jeep. I couldn’t stay here. I needed to go beat the shit out of something before I lost it.

was done. No more. I couldn’t continue to try to make Preston like me. He acted as if I was still his best friend’s kid sister and he hadn’t screwed my brains out behind a club. This was just hurting me more and more. It was past time I moved on. Let this one go. He’d just let me know how lacking my body was. I would just put the memory of how I lost my virginity away. Forget about it and never look back. Besides, it wasn’t like I could ever share the experience with anyone. It was humiliating enough just to know I’d sent him running. He hadn’t even kissed me. The idea of kissing me had repulsed him that much.

didn’t need to face anyone just yet. I ran up the steps instead of going into the living room, where everyone was getting ready. Sadie White, my best friend, would be here tonight. I wouldn’t be alone in this crowd of people. Closing the door to my bedroom in my dad’s place, I pulled my phone out of my purse and called Sadie.

hadn’t told her everything. She had no idea I’d given Preston my virginity in a storage unit like some cheap slut. I was too ashamed to tell her that part of the awful truth. But she did know he had flirted heavily with me and we’d gone out to his Jeep and made out a bit before he walked off and left me.

“Hello.” Sadie’s voice was happy and cheerful. Jax, her rock-star boyfriend was in town. She was always on cloud nine when he came to visit. He was here this time to pack her up and move her off to California. I was trying not to think about that.

“I know you and lover boy are packing you up and all, but I wanted to make sure you’re coming tonight.” I hadn’t been able to mask the hurt in my voice. She was going to pick up on it.

“Yes. What’s wrong, Amanda?” I could hear the concern in her voice.

through the lump in my throat, I gripped the phone tightly and tried real hard to control my emotions. “I just didn’t want to be alone. With . . . everyone.”

sighed. “Is this about Preston? I swear I want to kick his butt.”

“No. It . . . okay, well, maybe it is. But it’s my fault. I should have stayed away from him. I knew he was like this.” Maybe I hadn’t known he would actually screw me and walk away, never to be nice to me again. But I had known he was a player. This was his brush-off.

“I’ll be there. You won’t be alone. In fact, you’ll have a date.”

stopped blinking back tears and waited for an explanation of her last statement. What did she mean by “a date”? Was she sharing Jax? No . . . that made no sense.

“Huh?”

cleared her throat, then covered the phone with her hand, and I heard her muffled voice. I waited patiently for her to stop her private conversation and clue me in.

“Okay. Here’s the thing. Jason, Jax’s brother, is here too. You met him about six months ago, remember? He was at the birthday party I threw for Jax at the beach house.”

“Of course I remember Jason. He’s hard to forget.” He looked a lot like Jax. He just had a quieter demeanor. I’d had to talk to him that night because he didn’t say a whole lot.

“Well, he’s been asking about you. I knew you were hung up on Preston, which I can’t really figure out. He’s cute and all, but he’s a man whore. Jason mentioned you again today.”

Stone, younger brother to the world’s biggest teenage heartthrob, liked me? “Uh, well, um, okay. I think. I mean, really? Jason? He dates models and stuff. I saw him on Teen Heat last week with Kipley McKnowel. I can’t compete with that. I’ve seen her makeup commercial.”

laughed. “She’s airbrushed in that commercial. She’s really not that fabulous in real life. I met her. Trust me. Besides, he was with her that one time. He said she was missing intelligence. He wasn’t interested.”

“Jason Stone . . . really?” I was just having too hard a time comprehending this. I’d just recently gotten used to Jax Stone randomly showing up at my house on Sadie’s arm. Now to actually go on a date with his brother?

“Yes, really. I take it that you’re interested.” Sadie’s amused tone made me smile. Maybe this was what I needed to get over Preston. He didn’t want me. I needed to face that.

“Okay. Yeah, I mean, if he’s sure.”

“You are clueless, Amanda Hardy. Just because you can’t get the attention of a guy hell-bent on sleeping his way through the United States doesn’t mean you aren’t gorgeous and smart and extremely appealing to any guy with two eyes and a brain. Trust me. ’Kay?”

heaviness in my chest eased some. The ache was still there, but the hope that I could move on and stop getting hurt by Preston was a relief. I still couldn’t believe it was going to be with Jason Stone. Tonight didn’t seem so bad anymore.

“I trust you. Now, what do I wear?”

Three

’d ignored the few calls from Rock I got after I’d sped out of the condo like a man running for his life. He would have to get over it. I couldn’t explain. I would just pitch in more money than I’d originally intended to make up for bailing on helping them set up. Staying that close to Amanda and not going after her and falling on my knees and begging her to forgive me for the stupid shit I said would have been impossible. I hated to see her hurt. I hated doing it. I was a shithead. But I couldn’t let her near me. She was too sweet and innocent.

my Jeep door, I took a deep breath before heading toward the condo. The music was already pouring out the windows, and the parking lot was filling up. I’d come a little early so I could slip Rock some money so he’d get over the fact that I’d left him high and dry earlier.

I reached the door, it swung open and Rock stepped out. His frown looked more concerned than pissed. Shit.

“You okay?” were the first words out of his mouth.

reached into my back pocket and pulled out a couple of hundreds. “Here. Take this. It’s my part for the party. I had some shit come up earlier and I had to run.”

reached out and took it, but he didn’t put it in his pocket. He held it between his fingers. “You fucked up with some shit and can’t get out of it?”

? Wait . . . did he mean drugs? “Uh, no.”

’s eyebrows lowered, and he pointed the money I’d given him at me. “Then where the hell do you get the cash you never seem to run out of? ’Cause I know where you come from, boy, and it ain’t an inheritance.”

was not the first time I’d dodged this question. But it was the first time I’d had to deal with it sober. “It ain’t drugs, Rock. Now put the shit in your pocket and let me inside.”

shifted on his feet, but he didn’t move. “You know if you need help getting out of anything, I got your back. Right?”

’d had my back since we were kids. He was also the only friend I’d ever had over to my trailer growing up. I’d just had him over the one time, though. Momma had been high as a kite and throwing the few dishes we had across the kitchen because I’d forgotten to pick up her empty bottles of whiskey and throw them away the night before. I could still see the look of horror in Rock’s eyes that day. It had been the first and last time I let someone come over.

nodded, stepped around him, and headed inside the door. He slapped my back as I passed, and I knew we were okay.

place looked amazing. Those paper balls were hanging from the ceiling, and it looked pretty damn good. Flowers in vases wrapped with white lights were everywhere. It wasn’t too incredibly packed yet, but I knew everyone would be here soon enough. I scanned the room quickly for any sign of Amanda. She wasn’t here yet. I had time to get a drink and find a female to latch on to before she showed up.

were several stations with bartenders outside on the patio and around the pool. I made my way out there. Fresh air and a shot of Cuervo would be nice.

“You bailed on me. I should push you in that pool,” Trisha said threateningly as she walked toward me.

“I know. I’m sorry. I gave Rock some money to make up for my running off. Something came up. I had to go.”

rolled her eyes. “Cheap sluts aren’t an emergency. They’re a dime a dozen.”

her think I’d run off to get laid. It was better than the truth. That I’d run off because Amanda Hardy was so fucking under my skin I couldn’t think straight. She’d been the only thing in my head while I’d relieved some tension in the shower before I left for the party.

“Don’t push me in. I might get naked and get this party started,” I replied with a wink.

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” she replied, and walked off.

stopped at the first drinking station when I saw Dewayne, another of my best friends since elementary school. Me, Rock, Marcus, and Dewayne had been close since the day we’d all been suspended in the second grade for fighting on the playground. It had formed a bond that I’d never take for granted. I’d needed a family. They’d become that for me.

“If it ain’t the pussy king,” Dewayne said. “I show up to help out, and your ass is already run off. ’Course, I wasn’t surprised. I’d have been more surprised if you’d actually stayed and worked all day.”

“Shut up. You lazy ass, I know you didn’t stay all day,” I replied with a grin, and looked over at the young guy in a tuxedo standing behind the bar. “I need a shot of tequila.”

“Already hitting it hard, huh? Damn.”

started to respond when Dewayne’s eyes widened and he let out a low whistle. I followed his gaze and almost swallowed my damn tongue.

was here. Wearing a short, clingy white dress. Her long tanned legs looked even longer with the bronze high-heeled sandals she was wearing. Her silky blond hair was curled and pulled up on her head, while several curls had fallen loose and grazed her bare neck and shoulders. Ah, hell.

“Is she with Jason Stone? Fuck, I hope not. Marcus is gonna be pissed.” Dewayne’s words slapped me in the face. I tore my eyes off her and looked to see whose arm she was holding on to. Jax Stone’s brother was smiling down at her, saying something. He was making her laugh. She was gazing up at him like he was fascinating. Fuck. A red haze settled over my vision, and I started to move. A hand clamped down on my arm and jerked me back.

“What the hell are you doing?” Dewayne’s hard tone surprised me. What was I doing?

“I, he, she . . . I don’t know.”

didn’t look back at Dewayne. I couldn’t explain that asinine answer. Instead, I turned to the bartender. “Make that a double, and keep ’em coming.”

was everything Preston wasn’t. He was polite. He liked talking to me. He made me feel attractive. He didn’t say hurtful, mean things. He wasn’t scanning the crowd looking for a female to haul off and screw. He was with me. Completely. It was nice. I liked feeling wanted.

why did I keep looking back at Preston? He was drinking heavily already, and Marcus and Low hadn’t even arrived yet.

“You want something to drink?” Jason asked from beside me. I tore my gaze off Preston and turned it back to my date.

“Not really. Unless you do,” I replied. I really didn’t want to go anywhere near the bar in front of us. Far away from Preston was best.

“Did Trisha do all this? She did a fantastic job. This place looks magical. Very romantic,” Sadie said in awe as she and Jax came up beside us. He’d been stopped at the door, and the request for autographs had begun. I needed to find Trisha and have her put a stop to that. A lot of the people here were accustomed to Jax coming around, but this would be new for some guests and I knew it got to Sadie.

“Yeah, she worked on it all day. She directed and we followed,” I replied.

grabbed my arm and tugged me close to her. “Preston is looking this way. He doesn’t appear to be happy. We need to move,” she whispered.

agreed. “Come on, let’s go down to the beach and see what Trisha decided to do under the tent she has out there. I know they are playing music and that’s where the dance floor is.”

“Oh, wait. Marcus and Low are here,” Sadie said, pointing back toward the door we’d come out of. They were inside talking to guests. We needed to go speak to them before we escaped to the beach.

“Let’s go say hello first,” I replied, looking up at Jason to see if he was okay with this.

“Yeah, let’s get the big brother thing over with. That way I can be less nervous.” The amused tone in his voice didn’t take away the serious expression in his eyes. He was nervous. Marcus was pretty good about letting me date as long as he approved. He didn’t breathe down guys’ necks or embarrass me.

“He will be nice. Come on.”

“I don’t know that I’d believe her. Your last name is Stone,” Jax drawled.

“Oh, stop it. You know he has moved on from that. Look at him. He’s infatuated with Willow,” Sadie replied.

upon a time Marcus had been crazy about Sadie. That was how I knew her. But Jax Stone had been the only guy ever to win Sadie’s heart. Marcus never even stood a chance. When Willow had come into his life, I’d been so happy for him. She was just as gorgeous on the inside as she was on the outside. They’d had a major hurdle to get over thanks to our father and Willow’s sister, but they’d loved each other enough. More than enough. I wanted that one day too.

“I’ll just be happy when he’s married. Maybe with a kid or two,” Jax replied. The crooked smile on his face assured everyone he was kidding. Well, maybe a little bit of that was true. Jax was incredibly possessive of Sadie. He didn’t like any guy getting too close. Marcus had gotten too close once.

laughed and kissed his cheek. Thanks to the stiletto heels she was wearing, she didn’t have to stand on her tippy toes. “I’m moving away with you tomorrow. What more do you want?”

raised an eyebrow at her question. “You really want me to answer that with an audience?”

blushed and ducked her head, causing Jax to chuckle.

“Let’s go see Marcus. These two are only going to get more disgustingly sweet the longer we stand here,” Jason said, leading me past Sadie and his brother.

and Low were standing under the white lights that Trisha and I had strung together earlier and wrapped around several of the paper lanterns in the center of the main room. The smile on Marcus’s face made me tear up. I loved seeing him this happy. I loved that he’d found Low. If anyone deserved a happily ever after, it was my bighearted older brother.

“You’re sure he isn’t going to take a swing at me?” Jason asked with his mouth very close to my ear.

nodded. “Yes, I’m sure. Come on.”

if he could hear the whispering, Marcus lifted his eyes to meet mine. The smile on his face froze as he shifted his gaze from me to Jason, but only for a moment. The sincerely happy expression returned as he made eye contact with Jason. Apparently, he approved.

“Wasn’t expecting you to show up with a date,” Marcus said as we stopped in front of him and Low.

“It was a last-minute thing. Jason saved me from coming here alone,” I explained.

“Or your sister agreed to go out with me, and I took the opportunity and ran with it,” Jason replied.

smirked and nodded. “I just might like you.”

held her hand out to Jason. “I’m Willow, and it is very nice to meet you. If you are lucky enough to get Amanda on a date, then you must be a great guy.”

shook Low’s hand, then glanced over at me with a smile. “I’ve been working on getting up the nerve to ask for a while now. Tonight was my lucky break.”

? He’d been interested in me for a while? Wow. I hadn’t expected that. He was Jason Stone. He was splashed all over the news, and gossip magazines loved him.

“Well, we are glad you’re here,” Willow assured him.

“What’s he doing?” Marcus asked, taking a step forward, his attention directed outside.

“Shit,” Rock growled, running by us and toward the doors leading out to the pool. Marcus took off after him. What in the world was going on?

I saw Dewayne standing between Preston, who was leaned up against the bar with an amused grin on his face, and some guy who was yelling at Preston and pointing at him over Dewayne’s shoulder.

started to follow Marcus. Something was wrong. Was Preston starting a fight? Why was he doing this? And why the heck did I care so much?

“Wait, don’t go out there, Amanda,” Low called out as I started after my brother. I wanted to run outside and ignore her, but I was leaving Jason behind too. Sadie’s big eyes met mine, as she and Jax had stopped just behind Jason and me to give their congratulations to Marcus and Low. I needed to give all of them a reason why I needed to be outside. I needed to see if Preston was okay.

“I’ll be back. They may need me.” It was the best I could come up with before running after Marcus.

Four

was not the kind of shit I needed right now. I’d been focused on drinking Amanda Hardy out of my system tonight. That’s all I wanted to focus on. That and her legs. Damn, her legs.

something like this happens. Not what I was in the mood for.

“Tell him you didn’t touch his mom, Preston,” Dewayne demanded from in front of me. He was acting like my fucking bodyguard. I could take the guy. I didn’t need someone to protect me.

“Tell. Him,” Dewayne repeated.

couldn’t do that. Me and the guy threatening to beat my ass both knew I couldn’t deny it. He’d caught me with his mom last week. I could remember his face. Couldn’t remember his mom’s face but did remember the fury in his eyes. I’d seen it one too many times.

“What’s going on?” Rock asked as he and Marcus ran out and also stood between me and the guy. I didn’t have the heart to tell the guy his dear mom had paid me very well for that Sunday afternoon roll around her sheets. I wasn’t into older women. I used them. That was it. They had cash, and I fulfilled their fantasies. The dude wouldn’t be able to handle the truth, though.

“Trying to stop a fight,” Dewayne explained as both Rock and Marcus stood beside him, blocking me even more from the angry son of one of my clients. This was just another reason I needed to start demanding that I not handle business in clients’ houses. This shit happens.

“What did he do?” Marcus asked, glancing back at me.

shrugged and took another shot of tequila.

“Guy says Preston slept with his mom, and he’s out for blood,” Dewayne explained.

“Shit,” Rock mumbled, and shot a warning glare back my way.

“Go ahead, Preston. Explain that ain’t the case,” Dewayne demanded again.

was getting tired of that. I hadn’t spoken up yet. Had they not figured out that there was truth to this? Did they want me to lie to the guy and piss him off more? This guy and I had made eye contact that day as I’d pulled my jeans back on and headed out his mother’s bedroom door while she made excuses to her son. I hadn’t stayed around to deal with the drama. I just got the hell out.

“You got the wrong guy,” a voice interrupted. “He’s mine. He wouldn’t be sleeping with someone’s mom when he has me to come home to. So back off. I don’t want to hear any more of this.”

the fucking hell?

walked around the wall of guys standing guard in front of me and crooked her finger my way. “Come on, baby. Let’s go. This guy’s confused you with someone else, and you’ve had too much to drink.”

I passed out? Maybe I’d had more shots than I intended.

“Manda, what the hell—?”

“Back off, Marcus. I got this,” she snapped, cutting off her brother’s angry question.

“Come on, Preston. Now.”

didn’t question her. I set down my shot glass and stood up, then walked over to her. What was she doing? She slipped her hand around my waist and steered me away from the angry son and my friends.

“Follow me,” she said, and led me through the crowd and toward the stairs leading up to the bedrooms. Probably not the best idea. I didn’t need to have Amanda Hardy anywhere near a bed. Especially as drunk as I was at the moment. But then again, maybe this was all a drunken dream. Which meant I could strip her hot little body of this clingy, sexy-ass dress and kiss all the places my dreams haunt me with at night.

opened a door and pushed me inside a pink-and-white bedroom with ruffles on the bed and a white teddy bear resting against the pillows. Hell, yeah. This was hot. Amanda naked on that bed. Fuck, I was hard.

“Sit down.” She shoved me toward the bed and then backed away from me. Not the best dream I’d ever had.

put her hands on her hips and glared at me from across the room. Sexy. As. Hell.

“What are you doing? This is Marcus’s engagement party. You can’t go picking fights. What is wrong with you? Is everything a joke to you? Life’s just one big party for you, isn’t it? Well, wake up! You have friends down there who love you. They stand up for you even when they know you probably did screw that poor guy’s mom.” She stopped and shook her head in disgust. “God, please tell me she wasn’t married.” Then she put up her hand to stop anything I might say in reply. “No. Don’t tell me anything. I don’t want to know. Just stay in here. Sleep it off. Don’t ruin this night for Marcus and Low. They deserve to be happy. Marcus loves you, Preston. Don’t do something stupid to hurt him.”

dropped her hands to her side and let out a sigh. She was disappointed in me. This was a good thing. Maybe she was even disgusted with me. That would be even better. I needed her to stop flirting. I needed her to stop making me want things I couldn’t have. Because, dammit, I wanted her. So very bad.

“I’ve got a date that I’ve run out on to save the testosterone party down there from throwing down one big ugly fight. All because you can’t keep your pants up around a female.” She dropped her eyes as she said the last part, and her cheeks flamed red. Did the idea of me having sex embarrass her?

turned and walked back to the door. Her perfect round ass swayed under the thin material of the dress, mocking me with what I couldn’t ever have. What I’d never be good enough for.

“He better be good to you,” I said just loud enough for her to hear me if she was really listening. She stopped. She’d heard me.

she turned back around and stared at me with a confused expression. “What does that mean?” she asked, studying my face like it had all the answers she needed.

“It means that I don’t give a shit who his brother is. If he hurts you, I’ll hurt him.”

let out a short, hard laugh and shook her head. “Really? Really, Preston? You care if Jason hurts me? Because I find it very hard to believe that you care about my feelings at all.” Then she spun around and walked away, slamming the door behind her.

would not cry. And I would stop this stupid shaking. There was a very hot, attractive, somewhat famous guy downstairs waiting on me. He didn’t make me feel cheap and unwanted. Taking a deep breath, I straightened my shoulders and smoothed the wrinkles out of my dress, then walked back down the stairs. Scanning the crowd, I found Jason immediately. He was with Sadie and Jax. They were all probably talking about me. I’m sure Sadie was explaining my performance with Preston.

to guests as I made my way through the crowd, I kept a permanent smile plastered on my face. No one would know that what I’d just done had been for anyone else but Marcus. I’d never let them see I had any feelings for Preston. My pride would keep me safe.

“I’m so sorry. I was worried that if I didn’t step in and help, we’d have a fight on our hands, and I don’t want anything to ruin tonight for Marcus and Willow,” I explained once I got to Jason, before anyone could say anything.

was frowning, but it was a concerned frown. “That’s fine. You did a good job ending things.”

“Please tell me you locked him in a room so he can’t come out,” Sadie said. She was annoyed. I could hear it in her voice.

“Yeah, he is locked up. Hopefully passed out by now,” I assured her.

“I’m sorry. I have to ask this—did the guy really sleep with someone’s mom?” Jason asked.

reached over and punched Jason in the arm. “Dude. Don’t.”

“I was just curious.”

“It’s her brother’s best friend. Let it go.”

“No. It’s okay. He may be one of Marcus’s best friends, but I’m aware he has issues. And yes, Jason, he probably did. You would be hard-pressed to find a female here Preston hasn’t slept with.”

’s eyebrows shot up, and I realized what I’d said. I was venting. I needed to watch my mouth. My mom always said “Loose lips sink ships.” She was right. I needed to be more careful what I spewed from my mouth.

“Weren’t we going to go down to the beach and check out the tent and band?” I asked, needing to get everyone’s mind off what I’d just said.

“Yeah, we were,” Jax replied, reaching for Sadie’s arm and leading her toward the door.

“Sounds like a good idea to me,” Jason agreed, and offered me his arm. I slipped my hand into the crook of his arm, and we all headed outside.

was standing with Willow in his arms, talking to Dewayne, Rock, and Trisha pretty intensely when we walked back out the doors. Cage York, Willow’s best friend, and his girlfriend, Eva, had arrived too. They must’ve been getting filled in on the situation. Cage and Preston play baseball together, so they’re pretty tight.

“Come here, Amanda,” Marcus called out to me. I was hoping he’d forget what I’d just done, but apparently he wasn’t going to. I wasn’t sure what he was going to say, but I didn’t feel right letting Jason hear them talk about Preston. He wasn’t here to defend himself, and I’d already bashed him enough.

“Let me go reassure my brother that Preston is fine, and then I’ll meet y’all down there.”

nodded. “Of course.”

* * *

Marcus frowned any harder, the crease in his forehead was going to crack. Not a good sign. “Don’t scold me. I got him out of here, didn’t I?”

“You don’t need to stick your nose into any of Preston’s crap. He has issues you need to stay miles away from. I get that you were trying to help save the party, but I don’t like you stepping in to help Preston out. We got it. You stay away from his messes.”

may have an absent father for the most part, but I have Marcus to make up for it. Where my daddy ignores me, Marcus hovers over me. I love him, I really do, but I don’t like being told what I can and can’t do. It was time he backed off a little. I’m eighteen years old.

“She made a smart move. Lay off and give her a little credit.” Cage stepped over and defended me. Like that would help. Marcus tolerated Cage because of Willow. He didn’t exactly care what his opinion was.

“Listen. I saw a way to help, and I did. Not a big deal. I didn’t go have a heart-to-heart with Preston. So back off. I’m a big girl now.” I shot Marcus a tight smile, and then left him standing there before he or any of the other guys could speak up. I had a date waiting on me. I wasn’t going to waste another minute talking about Preston Drake.

hand shot out and grabbed my arm, and I glanced back to see it was Dewayne who’d stopped me, not my brother. What was his deal? Was I now going to get a lecture from him, too?

“Preston talks when he’s drunk. He talks a lot. About a lot of shit. You know what I mean? Keep your distance. I love him, but he ain’t good for you.” Dewayne’s low voice almost sounded like a rumble, but I heard every word. He’d spoken low enough that Marcus and the others couldn’t hear him. I felt my face heat up, and I jerked my arm out of his hold.

did Dewayne know about me and Preston? Could he possibly know about that night? I’d thought it was my secret. Apparently not. My stomach turned, and I prayed I wasn’t about to get sick. It was bad enough knowing Preston had taken my virginity in a storage building on a bunch of boxes and then walked away, leaving me there alone. But knowing that someone else knew of my shame was even worse.

had to force myself to keep from running as I walked swiftly through the crowd. I didn’t smile and pretend like everything was great. The dark beach up ahead on the outskirts of the tent and lighting was my goal. Hiding away for a few minutes while I got a grip on things was necessary.

could hear Sadie call my name from somewhere up ahead, but I pretended like I didn’t hear her. I ran for the sand and the shadows.

just needed a moment.

burned my eyes, and I tilted my head back and blinked into the ocean breeze in an attempt to dry my tears before they ruined my face. The small sliver of hope I’d had that Preston had felt something for me was now completely extinguished. He had told someone. A moment that I wanted to remember yet wanted to wash my memory of at the same time wasn’t as private as I’d thought. Preston had talked about it, while drunk. God, I hated him. How could I have been so crazy about him when he has no redeeming qualities? I was the biggest idiot on the face of the earth.

“Amanda?” Jason’s concerned voice startled me. I hadn’t expected him to follow me out here. Although we’d met before, this was really our first time together without a crowd around us. I wanted to be alone. Not pretending for my date.

a deep breath, I blinked away my tears and turned to face Jason. “Hey, sorry. The crowd and everything got to me. Fresh air and a quiet moment seemed like a good idea.”

“I just thought I’d check on you. I can go if you want to be alone.”

. I wanted to be alone. But I couldn’t be rude. Jason had been really understanding so far tonight. I hadn’t been the best date. It was time to suck it up and get over myself.

“No, I’m glad you came out here. You can enjoy the quiet with me.” I smiled up at him. It was odd how similar he looked to Jax. He didn’t have the rocker swagger that Jax did, though. He was more polite and studious, almost.

“I like hiding from crowds. It’s been my thing since crowds became an issue with my brother’s fame.” The grin on his face was really cute.

“I can imagine. You don’t appear to be as outgoing as Jax.”

chuckled. “No. Not even a little. Jax was always the one who liked an audience.”

“So, are you leaving with Jax and Sadie when they move her to LA?”

Date: 2015-02-28; view: 715