At a typical social event, how appropriate would it be if a person were to explicitly acknowledge in casual conversation that he or she is a believing Christian?
Respectful Reader in Norway: If you want to see and hear any secular social gathering (or just lunch in the teachers’ lounge where I work) come to a screeching halt casually mention that you are a Christian, read the Bible or prayed last night. If you want a gathering of Christians to choke on their coffee cake, mention the Virgin Mary or the Pope.
Ciska in Belgium: That would be odd and slightly inappropriate. Church and religion are considered to be personal. It’s like suddenly starting to talk about your last bowel movement…You can say “I’ll light a candle for you” or “I’ll think about you” when someone has a hard time, but you can’t say “I’ll pray for you”, even though that’s what you mean.
Rosenkranz-Atelier in Luxembourg: It would be most inappropriate, people would label you immediately as sectarian, intolerant, unmodern and seriously weird.
Julie in Portugal: It would definitely seem odd. There are typical opinions that are socially acceptable but those are not some of them. Some socially acceptable opinions would be: “you can be spiritual without going to church”…”I like catholic values but I’m into buddhism right now”…”the church has always been against knowledge” (I heard this statement, word for word, at a birthday party last week)…”I believe in science” (therefore, I don’t have faith)…”I’m probably more christian than people that go to church” (meaning: I’m a good person, people that go to church sometimes aren’t).
Cheryl in Western Alsace, France : Here in France that would seem very odd. Just read about a new survey that’s been published: only 1 in 3 French people believes in God.
B. in Southwestern Germany: It would be considered odd. People who are a bit more knowledgeable would possibly consider the person to be an american-style evangelical.
Puffin Hen in Wales, UK: Mention prayer, the Bible or God at a social event? Wouldn’t happen. If it did, it certainly wouldn’t happen again. God is only mentioned in Church on Sunday, and then only by the priest or vicar. And then only during the accepted parameters of the sermon. You can mention that you attend church in a, “When I was on the way to church the other day…” kind of way, so long as you don’t say anything more about it than that.
Lizzie in London, UK: In London, it’s fine to mention it – it’s so diverse – but the attitude is very much ‘each to his own’.
Sarah in Lancashire, UK: It would seem very odd. I would make people uncomfortable. I do mention church and my beliefs, but very often people don’t really want to talk about it. I usually get comments like, “I hate church”, “Religion causes wars”, “Religious people are bigots”. My daughter was called ‘weird’ by the father of one of her friends when my daughter invited that friend to church.
Lauren in Manchester, England: It would be very, very odd and the majority of people would either move away from you very quickly or respond aggressively – when casually mentioning that my weekend plans include Mass, I have been told I am ‘disgusting’ for ‘opposing womens rights and gay rights’, and told that ‘they thought I was more intelligent than that, obviously not!’. Some people in my family have asked me not to mention my faith and have been annoyed when I’ve said something as innocuous as ‘I’ll keep you in my prayers’ to an ill relative.
Tami in Al Ain, Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates: The UAE is a Muslim country and Muslim women cover their heads (some with only their face showing, some with only their eyes showing). So if you don’t cover your head, it’s obvious you’re not Muslim and people just assume you’re Christian. I believe if you are a citizen you have to be Muslim, but if you are an expat, you can freely practice your religion.
Helen in Trinidad and Tobago: We have a saying in our country that God is a “Trini” so speaking about religion would not be inappropriate. Saying that you are Catholic however will raise eyebrows. Other Christian denominations are normally more accepted.
RI in East Africa: Very normal , no one would bat an eyelid.
Nzie in Moscow, Russia: I don’t think anyone would be offended, but it’d be unusual. Most people identify with Orthodoxy but don’t practice.
Maria in Manila, Philippines: It’s perfectly normal to make statements like the ones you mentioned in social gatherings. Religious expression is not just tolerated here, it’s very much part of our cultural identity. You should see the way we celebrate our major feast days!
Marl in the Philippines: This is very common. Discussing problems amongst friends or family or even acquaintances may end with some reference to prayer (e.g. “Let’s continue to pray about it.”) or God’s power and God’s will and it’s not awkward to talk about that at all.
An American living in China: With foreigners, it is common for the Evangelical Protestants to talk this way. Among Chinese it is becoming more and more acceptable.
Maiki from Peru: I don’t think it is all that odd to mention something from the bible or mention prayer — it is pretty common. Being someone with many regular devotions can be a bit odd, or if you mention it all the time.
Paula H. in British Columbia, Canada: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! Ooooooh, that’s funny. Okay, I have to stop laughing now. Holy mackeral, we live in a new age paradise and people DO NOT like Jesus very much at all. However, I have a big mouth (and so do some of my friends) and I feel that we HAVE to let people know that we are practising Catholics/Christians and that we are not the demons they think we are.
What belief system do the politicians in your area claim to practice? For example, here in Texas almost all politicians at leastclaim to have some kind of belief in God. Is this the case in your area?
Julie in Portugal: Being a “close-minded” strong believer would almost be political suicide in Portugal… maybe in Europe in general. Politicians don’t have to talk about their religious beliefs. Our prime minister is openly gay and that is absolutely not a problem for anyone, even practicing Catholics.
Respectful Reader in Norway: There is one political party, The Christian People’s Party (which incidentally just changed its bylaws to allow non-Christians to belong), that speaks openly about religion. Other than this party – which gets about 5.5% of the national votes – religion is a non-subject. NO ONE mentions their private beliefs; and there is a tacit understanding that most intelligent people have distanced themselves from religious myths.
Puffin Hen in Wales, UK: To openly admit to having any active faith…would be political suicide. Weird, bigoted, out of date and unable to represent a multicultural community, apparently.
Towanda in East Spain: No reference to any belief or practice at all. Politicians avoid to be identified with any religious belief. No approaches to pro-life movements or similar either unless you want to ruin your political career (or you’ve already ruined).
B. in Southwestern Germany: Most politicians claim to be Christians. It is normally used as an argument on why they can define what Christianity is. E.g. a few days ago the gay mayor of Berlin said “I’m a Catholic and as such I will tell the pope that the Church has to accept gay marriage when he visits Berlin.”
Sarah in Lancashire, UK: God is never mentioned in campaigns in my area. Politicians like to say they are ‘multi-cultural’ or ‘tolerant to all belief systems’.
Marija J. in Croatia: The right-center party members usually claim to be Catholic (no evidence of that in any of their decisions). The left-center party members don’t usually claim anything and are perceived as mostly atheist. The current president announced he is agnostic.
Maiki from Peru: Most politicians are Catholic or lapsed/non-practicing Catholic. Occasional Evangelicals and Jews also run, I think there is the odd Muslim, too. An atheist candidate would be weird, but not unheard of. I think there are a couple. Religious items are used in swearing in ceremonies (as appropriate), and candidates sometimes attend religious services on important state occasion days. I don’t think being an atheist is political suicide, unless your proposed measures were largely contrary to Catholic values.
Andrei in New Zealand: Current Prime Minister is agnostic, his predecessor was Atheist.
Sue in Saitama, Japan (near Tokyo): Generally, religion is a non-issue, unless you are Sokka Gakkai, which is a Buddhist sect that has a fair amount of political influence. I think most Japanese are wary of outspoken or passionate religion, though, so they are kept in check – so far. I don’t think there are many Christians involved in politics over here, really.
RI in East Africa: Politicians are quite open about their beliefs , catholic , muslim etc.
Nzie in Moscow, Russia: I don’t think people care or are that aware…I don’t think atheism is very common, just apathy. I think being atheist could be viewed negatively.
Anne in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada: Anyone who acknowledges an active belief in God, as the practicing Christian sort, gets the snarky treatment, or the “well, we know THAT is an outdated and odd belief system.” Politicians in Canada don’t trot out their Bibles and beliefs in God and have it received as a good thing, put it that way.
Amy in New Brunswick, Canada: I would say that most of them are Christian. I know for a fact that our mayor is Catholic and helps at church functions, and many of the bigger names in town attend church.
Barbara in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada: The more a politician discusses his religious affiliations in public the more suspect he is. He may be considered too “American” (Stockwell Day comes to mind) Catholic politicians –there have been many– are criticized for listening to the pope at all (Chretien for example) and must keep their religion to themselves. It’s fine to have a burial mass in Notre Dame Cathedral, but don’t question the sacredness of abortion, gay marriage or contraception.
How many families do you know who have more than two children? If a family with four children moved to your area, would their family size seem unusual? What about a family with six children?
Catrin in South Wales, UK: Many, But I move in homeschooling/Catholic circles. Most people seem to have two, but 3 or 4 is not uncommon. Larger families of 5 or 6 are usually “blended” families.
Kmo in Western Norway: Not many large families. Norway is an extremely expensive place to live, although many social services are provided by the government. However, most women work, in my experience. Norway has a very strong history of gender equality in the workforce.
Sarah in Oviedo, Spain: The young people are almost nonexistent here, both in the Church and in the country at large. Spain has one of the most problematic declining populations, and last week my host mother went out of her way to point out a woman walking down the street with three children. This is the most I have seen in any one family since my arrival; even two children is rare. Many locals that I have met have expressed shock at my “large” family (I have three siblings).
Julie in Portugal: I know very few families with more than two!…Marriage is generally viewed as a limit on freedom, people get married very late (around the age of 30), careers are a priority and the job situations is difficult so it is hard for people to get a steady income. In general people have two, one or no kids so families with more than four are very unusual.
Lauren in Manchester, England: When I have talked positively about being open to life/using NFP, I have had Catholic women respond negatively or tell me that ‘you’re not in the real world’…I truly think that there is no culture of life in the Catholic churches here at all – I feel very alone.
Larissa in London, UK: There are a lot of large families but they’re Muslim families. A typical “Christian” family here has 2-3 children.
Rebekka in Copenhagen, Denmark: Two kids is normal. Four kids is unusual but not unheard of. If you have six kids, you’re probably a Muslim.
Respectful Reader in Norway: Although the fertility rate in Norway is less than the US’s 2.06 children per woman, Norway does have one of the higher fertility rates in Europe (1.77), so families with more than two children are not that uncommon. We have friends who have seven children (extremely unusual) and this often causes negative reactions, with strangers asking if it’s this family’s responsibility to single-handedly populate the world.
The Bookworm in Bedfordshire, UK (northwest of London): Many families with three – two or three is the norm. Four is less common but not at all unusual. More than four is unusually large. One of the other mothers commented in the school playground last week that more families seem to be having third and fourth children, whereas a few years ago most stopped at two.
Marija J. in Croatia: Two children is common, four very rare, six considered way too much.
Pat in Rome, Italy: Babies in general were rare in Rome. Near my apartment was a baby supply store, and I never once saw anyone in it. It would be amazing to see a family of 4 or 6 walk down the street.
Tami in Al Ain, Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates: Larger families are very common here, but mainly among the non-western Muslims. Western expat families still typically have only about two children. However, because the country is predominately Muslim, that means that stores, restaurants, etc. are very used to seeing larger families and are very welcoming to them. No one freaks out when you walk your four kids (all 6 and younger) into a sit down restaurant. The staff is always very helpful and accommodating. It’s a very family oriented culture.
Sue in Saitama, Japan (near Tokyo): We definitely stick out with our four, but we stick out in general as well. We have one family at our church with six kids, and I have known a few others with five or six kids – even one with eight – but they are a rarity. Most families in our area, including at church, have one or two. We get lots of positive comments about our family at church, but outside of church the most common comment I hear is, “wow, that’s tough!”
Erin in New South Wales, Australia: Lots, this is the country so many families have 3-4 children. And I know a number of families with an average of 6. Just depends on what circles you move in though. With no. 9 on the way we would be one of the biggest families in town now, I know of 3 other larger families than us.
Cath in Sydney, Australia: In Canberra and here in Sydney, people cannot BELIEVE that we have 4 kids – and that is just 4!
Eunice in Singapore: A family of 4 won’t be too unusual and would be very welcomed by the government as we’re facing an ageing population also. There are now more families with more than 6 children and they’re usually Catholic so while it may get some stares, many would actually applaud their effort and respect these parents!
Bears2Cross in Beer Sheva, Israel: Four children wouldn’t be unheard of; with six, it would be assumed that you were an Orthodox Jew (or a Bedouin!). To me it seems that people like big families, but it’s normal for people to wait until after two years of army and four or more years of University to even think of getting married and starting a family, so infertility is a big problem. My husband’s colleagues in his Ph.D. program were always shocked to learn that he’d already been married for over a decade and had three kids at age 34! Ethnicity also plays a big role in what number of children is “normal” for a family.
RI in East Africa: Almost all. The national average is 6.5. Though in the capital the trend is growing towards only two. A family of four would fit right in and no one would bat an eyelid if they continued to have children.
Helen in Trinidad and Tobago: We are a family with six children, which is unusual. We are few and far between. We get all the customary comments. Are you Catholic? How are you going to send your children to university? How do you manage? etc. etc. etc. Very few people now have more than two children.
Elisa in Egypt (from 2006-2008): Large families are very normal – often Egyptian Muslims will keep having children until they finally have a boy. Egyptians love children.
Maria in Manila, Philippines: I think the better question to ask is, “How many families do you know have LESS than two children?” Because believe it or not, there’s not a lot of those at all. I’d say the average number of children per Filipino family is 3-4. Two generations ago, it was probably twice that. I guess you could call us blessed, and I would agree! But recently, the government’s been weary of these numbers, calling it “overpopulation”.
Ana Paula in Minas Gerais, Brazil: It is rare a family with more than two children. The new families who have more than two, usually is a poorest one, who live in the borderline of the society. Families are going to be smallest over here. The thought is: “If I have only one child, I will be able to give him or her My Best: I will be able to pay a good school, I will be able to send my child to the United States, to see Disneyland, etc.”
Margaret, whose husband is from Ethiopia: Ethiopians I have met are very positive about large families, but the trend is towards smaller families, and people have found me somewhat odd. A white American woman who *wants* to have a large family?? Unheard of.
Barbara in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada: In spite of CBC trying to promote Childfreeness as the new black, having lots of kids doesn’t usually get much negative attention. I grew up in what might be considered a large family by today’s standards and never heard a peep about it. Mind you, Canadians hold politeness as such a value that most would refrain from commenting, even if they had something to comment on. This of course excludes Quebec. Quebeckers went from having 10 kid families to having no kids at all, now the government in that province is trying to pay women to have them, while the quebecoise feminists are freaking out at the merest suggestion that women have babies.
Emily in Alberta, Canada: As my husband found out at work, recent immigrants (particularly from Africa) are much more likely to see a large family as a positive good (a wealth of children). He says that it’s not that those born and bred in Canada have made negative comments but rather that they tend to be completely bewildered at the very idea wanting a large family.
