After the race, I drove K.C. home, probably not feeling as badly as her but definitely not feeling good.

Nothing about what I was doing was right, but fuck me, it was the only plan I had to shatter Tate’s world.

“K.C., I’m really sorry.”

“Did you know about this?” She used her fingers to wipe away the tears and mascara streaks.

I almost felt like throwing up. “Absolutely not,” I lied. “If I did, I wouldn’t have told you. Sorry, it’s a guy code.” And that part was the truth. Unless the girlfriend of a friend is also your friend, then you don’t interfere.

“Ugh,” she grunted, more angry than sad now.

“Hey, look. Believe it or not, I am really sorry you’re hurting,” I offered, pulling up in front of her house. “Go eat chocolate or binge shop online. Whatever girls do to feel better. And I promise to kick his ass in a race next weekend. You can even come along to watch if you feel up to it.”

But my joke didn’t lighten the mood. “You think you’re so much better than him?”

And even though I knew she made a valid point, I did think I was better than Liam. I don’t know why. Maybe because I saw Liam as spineless. If I lied, it was for a good reason. Not just because I was too weak to let go of what I no longer wanted.

But I was, wasn’t I? I couldn’t let Tate go.

“Yes,” I finally answered. “I don’t cheat on girlfriends, because I don’t give the impression that I want a relationship. Look,” I started, taking off my seatbelt. “I may go through girls faster than gum, but it’s not because I feel that they’re worthless or disposable, okay? It’s all me. I know I’m not good for anything more, so why let people in?”

And for once, I wasn’t playing a part for K.C. I told her the truth.

I wasn’t trying to get into her pants, and I didn’t care about her or what she thought about me. For the first time in a long time, I was totally comfortable being honest with someone.

Her gaze was fixed out of the window. “I guess you’ll never know,” she almost whispered, as if to herself.

No, I do know, I thought to myself. I know very well what happens when you let people in.

“You should try letting go,” I suggested, clearing my throat. “There’s no reason to cry over someone

that wasn’t thinking about you when he was with someone else. You deserve better.” She sat there for a moment and finally offered me a tight smile.

“You’re still a dick,” she conceded as she got out of the car, but I caught sight of a small grin on her face that told me she was just joking.

Over the next two days, I slowly weaseled my way into K.C.’s life, shooting her concerned texts and trying to appear sincere. I wasn’t sure if she was disclosing our communication to Tate, but it was only a matter of time before I made sure Tate found out anyway.

“Thank you for the ride.” K.C. unfastened the helmet and smiled down at me.

It was Monday night, and I’d just picked her up from work after she’d texted, asking for a ride.

When I got there, though, she started acting unnaturally affectionate. Rubbing her fingers through my hair, touching my arm. Familiarity we hadn’t gotten to yet.

Date: 2015-02-16; view: 572