Tell the truth so much it hurts

The Germans may have an odd reputation, but my experience has been that they are not rude at all. In Germany, and some other Northern European countries (and with the deaf community in the states), it’s more normal to be straight with people, and give them the direct truth without sugar coating it. Being direct is a way to show that you respect that person. This wonderful concept is one that I have picked up and emulated myself, and it has helped me integrate into these cultures much better.

In some other countries though, especially Canada, the opposite is true, and you are required to sandwich any unfortunate truths between compliments, or buffer it with pleasantries. To me now, this beating around the bush is all a total waste of time.

As such, I have to constantly remind myself when with certain cultures to add in lots of misleading words like “That’s a pretty good idea, but how about if…” (instead of “That idea is terrible. This one is better”) or “I’ll think about it!” (instead of “No way in hell”) and other nonsense, that you say for no reason other than to protect the feelings of the person you are speaking to.

A Canadian commenter on my Facebook, Sofie, said this to really emphasize the differences: I was taking pictures of the food at a Starbucks (in Germany) and for some weird reason, that’s not allowed. A worker there came up to me: “Don’t take pictures please,” he said very strictly. In Canada, that would go something more like this: “Hello. I am so sorry but we prefer it if customers don’t take pictures. Thank you very much for your cooperation, we appreciate it. Have a nice day.”

Of course, when I speak more “efficiently” with people in some countries this comes across as too blunt. Once again I’m left offending people and then feeling frustrated myself that nobody is straight with me (for constructive purposes) and that I feel like I’m stuck in a dialogue with Barney the pink and happy dinosaur.

Date: 2015-02-16; view: 759