Sentimental hellos and goodbyes every time

Time in Latin countries in general means that you simply cannot just say “hi” to those you meet in social situations. If either person is a girl, then you give a peck on the cheek… or two… or even three or four in some places! And in other places even guys do this between one another.

In places like Brazil you go a step further and embrace the person you see. You may have just seen them yesterday, but you still hug them as if you haven’t seen them for years and they have just been released from a decade in solitary confinement.

This warmth between people in social situations is contagious and very hard to shake. Also from Brazil, if I’m talking to someone I will maintain eye contact and even be touching them if possible – this has nothing to do with flirting, because even if guys are talking between one another you will keep your hand on one of their shoulders, and tug them a little if they happen to glance off into a different direction.

Finally, when it’s time to say goodbye (as in, see you tomorrow, not forever!) you have to give your farewells to each person in the group. This means that good-nights can take a really long time. In many Latin countries, I have learned to say the first goodbye about a half an hour before I actually have to leave, as I know it will take that long to get through everyone and wrap up our conversations.

The idea of just getting up and saying “OK, see you all later!” and walking away makes me shudder!

9. Slowly move many standing conversations in the direction I’m facing

Another consequence of the above point of more warmth in Latin countries, is that I have greatly reduced this horrible concept we have in some Northern European and North American countries of a personal bubble.

When you are talking with someone, you should do it a little closer to make sure that there is a greater sense of intimacy in the conversation (once again, this is between guys or with girls).

As such, whenever I am back in North America, or North Europe, if I’m sitting down, I always feel like the person I’m speaking to is too far away, and I’ll lean in. If I’m standing though, I’ll simply take a small step forward. A Northerner will then counter this with a small step back as I have been so bold as to enter their personal bubble. (Incidentally, the greater distance between people is perhaps one reason why Americans are so well renowned for their.. um.. skill for projecting their voice in public places more than the rest of us – they have to because everyone is so far away!)

This means that when standing, I try to reduce this wide gap between me and the other person, as it feels uncomfortable, and I may take a little step forward. The other person though, will do the exact opposite and increase the distance between us, as it otherwise feels uncomfortable to them. As a consequence, the conversation will always slowly move in whatever direction I happen to be facing.

Both of us do this unconsciously, and I’m always amazed when I look around me and realize that I’m suddenly several metres from where I initially started this conversation!

Date: 2015-02-16; view: 791