Seeing and Being

Of course, not all Paradigm Shifts are instantaneous. Unlike my instant insight on the subway, the

paradigm-shifting experience Sandra and I had with our son was a slow, difficult, and deliberate

process. The approach we had first taken with him was the outgrowth of years of conditioning and

experience in the personality ethic. It was the result of deeper paradigms we held about our own

success as parents as well as the measure of success of our children. And it was not until we changed

those basic paradigms, quantum change in ourselves and in the situation.

In order to see our son differently, Sandra and I had to be differently. Our new paradigm was

created as we invested in the growth and development of our own character.

Our Paradigms are the way we "see" the world or circumstances -- not in terms of our visual sense of sight, but in terms of perceiving, understanding, and interpreting. Paradigms are inseparable from

character. Being is seeing in the human dimension. And what we see is highly interrelated to what

we are. We can't go very far to change our seeing without simultaneously changing our being, and

vice versa.

Even in my apparently instantaneous paradigm-shifting experience that morning on the subway,

my change of vision was a result of -- and limited by -- my basic character.

I'm sure there are people who, even suddenly understanding the true situation, would have felt no

more than a twinge of regret or vague guilt as they continued to sit in embarrassed silence beside the

THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE Brought to you by FlyHeart grieving, confused man. On the other hand, I am equally certain there are people who would have

been far more sensitive in the first place, who may have recognized that a deeper problem existed and

reached out to understand and help before I did.

Paradigms are powerful because they create the lens through which we see the world. The power

of a Paradigm Shift is the essential power of quantum change, whether that shift is an instantaneous or

a slow and deliberate process.

The Principle-Centered Paradigm

The character ethic is based on the fundamental idea that there are principles that govern human

effectiveness -- natural laws in the human dimension that are just as real, just as unchanging and

unarguably "there" as laws such as gravity are in the physical dimension.

An idea of the reality -- and the impact -- of these principles can be captured in another

paradigm-shifting experience as told by Frank Kock in Proceedings, the magazine of the Naval

Institute.

Two battleships assigned to the training squadron had been at sea on maneuvers in heavy weather

for several days. I was serving on the lead battleship and was on watch on the bridge as night fell.

The visibility was poor with patchy fog, so the captain remained on the bridge keeping an eye on all

activities.

Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported, "Light, bearing on the starboard bow."

"Is it steady or moving astern?" the captain called out.

Lookout replied, "Steady, captain," which meant we were on a dangerous collision course with that ship.

The captain then called to the signal man, "Signal that ship: We are on a collision course, advise you change course 20 degrees."

Back came a signal, "Advisable for you to change course 20 degrees."

The captain said, "Send, I'm a captain, change course 20 degrees."

"I'm a seaman second class," came the reply. "You had better change course 20 degrees."

By that time, the captain was furious. He spat out, "Send, I'm a battleship. Change course 20

degrees."

Back came the flashing light, "I'm a lighthouse."

We changed course

The A Paradigm Shift is the "a-ha" experience associated with finally perceiving or understanding some aspect of the world (or a circumstance) in a different way. Paradigm Shift experienced by the

captain -- and by us as we read this account -- puts the situation in a totally different light. We can see a reality that is superseded by his limited perceptions -- a reality that is as critical for us to understand in our daily lives as it was for the captain in the fog.

Principles are like lighthouses. They are natural laws that cannot be broken. As Cecil B. deMille

observed of the principles contained in his monumental movie, The Ten Commandments, "It is

impossible for us to break the law. We can only break ourselves against the law."

While individuals may look at their own lives and interactions in terms of paradigms or maps

emerging out of their experience and conditioning, these maps are not the territory. They are a

"subjective reality," only an attempt to describe the territory.

The "objective reality," or the territory itself, is composed of "lighthouse" principles that govern human growth and happiness -- natural laws that are woven into the fabric of every civilized society

throughout history and comprise the roots of every family and institution that has endured and

prospered. The degree to which our mental maps accurately describe the territory does not alter its

THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE Brought to you by FlyHeart existence.

The reality of such principles or natural laws becomes obvious to anyone who thinks deeply and

examines the cycles of social history. These principles surface time and time again, and the degree to which people in society recognize and live in harmony with them moves them toward either survival

and stability or disintegration and destruction.

The principles I am referring to are not esoteric, mysterious, or "religious" ideas. There is not one principle taught in this book that is unique to any specific faith or religion, including my own. These principles are a part of every major enduring religion, as well as enduring social philosophies and

ethical systems. They are self-evident and can easily be validated by any individual. It's almost as if these principles or natural laws are part of the human condition, part of the human consciousness, part

of the human conscience. They seem to exist in all human beings, regardless of social conditioning and loyalty to them, even though they might be submerged or numbed by conditions or disloyalty.

I am referring, for example, to the principle of fairness, out of which our whole concept of equity

and justice is developed. Little children seem to have an innate sense of the idea of fairness even apart from opposite conditioning experiences. There are vast differences in how fairness is defined and

achieved, but there is almost universal awareness of the idea.

Other examples would include integrity and honesty. They create the foundation of trust which is

essential to cooperation and long-term personal and interpersonal growth.

Another principle is human dignity. The basic concept in the United States Declaration of

Independence bespeaks this value or principle. "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."

Another principle is service, or the idea of making a contribution. Another is quality or excellence.

There is the principle of potential, the idea that we are embryonic and can grow and develop and

release more and more potential, develop more and more talents. Highly related to potential is the

principle of growth -- the process of releasing potential and developing talents, with the accompanying

need for principles such as patience, nurturance, and encouragement.

Principles are not practices. A practice is a specific activity or action. A practice that works in one circumstance will not necessarily work in another, as parents who have tried to raise a second child

exactly like they did the first one can readily attest.

While practices are situationally specific, principles are deep, fundamental truths that have universal

application. They apply to individuals, to marriages, to families, to private and public organizations of every kind. When these truths are internalized into habits, they empower people to create a wide

variety of practices to deal with different situations.

While practices are situationally specific, principles are deep, fundamental truths that have universal

application. They apply to individuals, to marriages, to families, to private and public organizations of every kind. When these truths are internalized into habits, they empower people to create a wide

variety of practices to deal with different situations.

Principles are not values. A gang of thieves can share values, but they are in violation of the

fundamental principles we're talking about. Principles are the territory. Values are maps. When we value correct principles, we have truth -- a knowledge of things as they are.

Principles are guidelines for human conduct that are proven to have enduring, permanent value.

They're fundamental. They're essentially unarguable because they are self-evident. One way to

quickly grasp the self-evident nature of principles is to simply consider the absurdity of attempting to

live an effective life based on their opposites. I doubt that anyone would seriously consider unfairness, deceit, baseness, uselessness, mediocrity, or degeneration to be a solid foundation for lasting happiness and success. Although people may argue about how these principles are defined or manifested or

achieved, there seems to be an innate consciousness and awareness that they exist.

THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE Brought to you by FlyHeart The more closely our maps or paradigms are aligned with these principles or natural laws, the more

accurate and functional they will be. Correct maps will infinitely impact our personal and

interpersonal effectiveness far more than any amount of effort expended on changing our attitudes and

behaviors.

Date: 2015-02-03; view: 871