Leaving

T HE NEXT MORNING I woke early, ate quickly, and was back in my room before most of the school was stirring in their beds.

I shouldered my lute and travelsack. I wrapped my shaed around me, checking that everything I needed was properly stowed in my pockets: red string, wax mommet, brittle iron, vial of water. Then I drew up the hood of my shaed and left the school, making my way to Vashet’s house.

Vashet opened the door between my second and third knock. She was shirtless, and stood bare-breasted in the doorway. She eyed me pointedly, taking note of my cloak, my travelsack, my lute.

“It is a morning for visitors,” she said. “Come in. The wind is chill this early.”

I stepped inside and tripped on the threshold, stumbling so that I had to rest my hand on Vashet’s shoulder to steady myself. My hand caught clumsily in her hair as I did so.

Vashet shook her head as she closed the door behind me. Unconcerned with her near-nakedness, she reached both her hands behind her head and began to plait half of her hanging hair into a short, tight braid.

“The sun was barely in the sky this morning when Penthe knocked on my door,” she said conversationally. “She knew I was angry with you. And though she did not know what you had done, she spoke on your behalf.”

Holding the braid with one hand, Vashet reached for a piece of red string and tied it off. “Then, almost before my door had time to close, Carceret paid me a visit. She congratulated me on finally giving you the treatment you deserve.”

She reached back to braid the other side of her hair, her fingers twisting nimbly. “Both of them irritated me. They had no place speaking to me about my student.”

Vashet tied off the second braid. “Then I thought to myself, whose opinion do I respect more?” She looked at me, making it a question for me to answer.

“You respect your own opinion more,” I said.

Vashet smiled widely. “You are exactly right. But Penthe is not entirely a fool either. And Carceret can be angry as a man when the mood is on her.”

She picked up a long piece of dark silk and wound it around her torso, over her shoulders and across her naked breasts, supporting and holding them close to her chest. Then she tucked the end of the cloth into itself and it somehow remained tightly secured. I had seen her do this several times before, but how it actually worked was still a mystery to me.

“And what have you decided?” I asked.

She shrugged her blood-red shirt over her head. “You are still a puzzle,” she said. “Gentle and troubling and clever and foolish.” Her head emerged from the shirt and she gave me a serious look. “But someone who breaks a puzzle because they cannot solve it has left the Lethani. I am not such a one.”

“I am glad,” I said. “I would not have enjoyed leaving Haert.”

Vashet raised an eyebrow at that. “I daresay you would not.” She gestured at the lute case that hung over my shoulder. “Leave that here, or people will talk. Leave your bag too. You can take them back to your room later.”

She looked at me speculatively. “But bring the cloak. I will show you how to fight while wearing it. Such things can be useful, but only if you can avoid tripping over them.”

* * *

I went back to my training almost as if nothing had happened. Vashet showed me how to avoid tripping over my own cloak. How it could be used to bind a weapon or disarm the unwary. She commented on it being very fine, strong, and durable, but never seemed to note anything unusual about it.

Days passed. I continued to spar with Celean and eventually learned to protect my precious manhood from all forms of uncouth attack. Slowly, I grew skilled enough that we were nearly even in our bouts, trading victories back and forth.

There were even a handful of conversations with Penthe at mealtimes, and I was glad to have one other person willing to occasionally smile in my direction.

But I was no longer at my ease in Haert. I had come too close to disaster. Whenever I spoke to Vashet I thought twice about every word. Some words I thought about three times.

And while Vashet seemed to return to her familiar wry and smiling self, I would catch her watching me from time to time, her face grim, her eyes intent.

As the days passed, the tension between us gradually wore away, fading as slowly as the bruises on my face. I like to think eventually it would have disappeared entirely. But we were not given enough time for that.

* * *

It came like lightning from the clear blue sky.

Vashet opened her door to my knock. But instead of coming outside, she stood in the doorway. “Tomorrow is your test,” she said.

For a second, I didn’t understand what she was talking about. I had been focusing so intently on my sword practice, my sparring with Celean, the language, the Lethani. I had almost forgotten the purpose of it all.

I felt a rush of excitement in my chest, followed by a chill knot in my stomach. “Tomorrow?” I said stupidly.

She nodded, smiling faintly at my expression.

Her subdued response did little to set me at my ease. “So soon?”

“Shehyn feels it would be best. If we wait another month, there could be early snow, keeping you from going freely on your way.”

I hesitated, then said, “You aren’t telling me the whole truth, Vashet.”

Another faint smile and a small shrug. “You’re right in that, though Shehyn does think waiting is unwise. You are charming, in your clumsy barbarian way. The longer you are here, the more folk will come to feel kindly toward you....”

I felt the chill settle deeper into my gut. “And if I am to be mutilated, it would be better if it were done before more folk realize I’m actually a real person and not some faceless barbarian,” I said harshly, though not as harshly as I wanted to.

Vashet looked down, then nodded. “You would not have heard. But Penthe blackened Carceret’s eye two days ago in an argument about you. Celean too, has grown fond of you, and talks to the other children. They watch you from the trees while you train.” She was still for a moment. “And there are others.”

I knew enough after all this time to read Vashet’s small silence for what it really meant. Suddenly her muted mood, her stillness made much better sense.

“Shehyn must attend to the best interests of the school,” Vashet said. “She must decide according to what is right. She cannot allow herself to be swayed by the fact that some few are fond of you. At the same time, if she makes a correct decision and many in the school resent it, that is not good either.” Another shrug. “So.”

“Am I ready?”

Vashet was quiet for a long time. “That’s not an easy question,” she said. “Being invited to the school isn’t merely a matter of skill. It is a test of fit, of suitability. If one of us fails, we can try again. Tempi took his test four times before he was admitted. For you there will only be one chance.” She looked up at me. “And ready or not, it is time.”

Date: 2015-02-03; view: 991