Chapter 47

Quietly, Val let herself into the beach house. Neal was watching television. Carolyn, he told her, was upstairs reading in bed.

Sorting through the mail she had picked up at her flat, Val opened an envelope from Hopestead Gallery in Santa Barbara. A letter from Hilda Green asked her to please note the enclosed check for twenty-one hundred dollars, and testily enumerated attempts to reach Val to discuss additional paintings for the gallery.

Carolyn was propped up in bed, her hair fanned over the pillow. She lowered her book. “You were gone a long time.”

The reason for leaving the beach house had been to go to the flat. “I took care of a few things,” Val said easily, sitting on the bed. She handed Carolyn the check from Hilda Green. “You weren’t really worried, were you?”

As she hoped, Carolyn was distracted by the check, gazing at it with a slowly widening smile. Eventually, Val reflected, she would have to tell Carolyn about the destruction of the paintings. She had never allowed Carolyn to watch her work; perhaps she could manage to secretly duplicate them.

“Dear, wonderful Val,” Carolyn murmured. “I’m so proud of you.” Val began to unbutton her shirt. “Let me do that,” Carolyn said in soft command, sitting up.

Val submitted to the warm hands, steeling herself against the heavy silk hair that brushed her throat and shoulders, the enveloping gentleness. Carolyn slid her arms around her and buried her face in Val’s bare breasts.

Succumbing, her desire sharpening as a nipple hardened in Carolyn’s tender mouth, she pressed Carolyn’s mouth into her. Was desire finally surfacing in Carolyn, or did she still want her breasts for comforting, as a mother’s breasts?

Carolyn took her mouth away but did not release her. “God, you’re so beautiful. But—”

“I understand,” Val said quickly. Her question answered, she was heartened by the words and by what had just happened between them.

“I need just a little more time to—to…”

“I know.”

“You truly are so beautiful.” Carolyn released her, moved her hands caressingly over Val’s shoulders. “Much as I hate to leave this wonderful house, I think I’m ready. But not to go back to your place, Val. I’m uneasy about that. I think—well, I don’t know, I haven’t thought this through, but I’ve got a little money now…

“We’ve both got money.” Val picked up the check, let it flutter down to the bed.

Just a little more time with you…I need a little more time, too. To be everything I can, to do everything I can ..

She smiled into Carolyn’s green eyes. “I think I’ve definitely entered a green period. I’d like to be in a place where it’s all green. What do you think about going up to Oregon for a while?”

“You crazy woman.” Carolyn shook her head. “It’s the worst possible time for a trip to the Northwest.” She said dreamily, “All that rain and mist and fog, all those green trees…it sounds like absolute heaven.”

Exultant, Val said, “Dad’ll leap at the chance to spoil his grandson.”

“Can’t Neal come with us? He’d love it. Oregon might even be the real Emerald City.”

“Yes, it might be,” Val said musingly. “But it’s too close to the end of the school term, Carrie. Believe me, he’ll love being with his grandfather. They’ll take in every sports event on TV and in town besides. You’ll have to put up with just me.”

“I think I could adjust to the idea,” Carolyn teased. Her expression sobered, her eyes grew distant. “It is a good idea, Val, getting away from here. I know I’d stop being afraid. Completely.”

Val nodded, thinking somberly that other women would inherit her fear.

Carolyn said, “And when we come back—”

“If we come back,” Val said quietly.

“That’s another idea,” Carolyn said, and slid her arms around Val again.

“Everything’s changing so fast.” Carolyn rested her head on Val’s shoulder. “Every day things look different to me. I look different to myself. I want to be with you now, I do know that—while the real Carolyn emerges. Will you wait for me? Is it enough?”

“Yes,” Val said, holding her closely. “It’s enough.”

Date: 2015-02-03; view: 509