Chapter 41

At noon precisely Val got out of her car and walked across the street to the Blake house.

Carolyn’s eyes were sea-green against the green print of her shirt, her hair was brushed to sunlit silk. Choked by the loveliness of her, Val touched her cheek to Carolyn’s and walked into the house without speaking, thrusting a note from Neal into her hands.

Carolyn opened and read the note as she walked to the sofa. She chuckled. “According to this I’ve agreed to see him tomorrow night.”

Val sighed. Convincing Neal that he could not accompany her today had been difficult. “I had to tell him something. I hoped I could talk you into it.”

“You have.” Carolyn put the note into the pocket of her shirt and sat on the sofa, tucking her legs up under her.

Awkwardly, Val sat beside her. She decided to plunge into what she had rehearsed. Not looking at Carolyn, she began, “I want you to know I understand about…I want you to take the time you need to—” She broke off. The words were clumsy, inadequate.

She turned to Carolyn. “There was a woman at the party last night, four years ago I lived with her. There was an attraction, I—”

“The blonde?”

Val gaped at her. “How did you know?”

“The way she looked at me. And we’re physically similar.”

“You are?” Again she was astonished. “You’re not remotely alike. Well, maybe a little, but—” She would not be sidetracked into this issue. “Anyway, I wasn’t ready, I couldn’t handle my feelings—No, that’s not true, I didn’t want to handle my feelings, not like now, not like—”

Carolyn took her hands, interrupted her stumbling ramble. “Val, I know I haven’t worked through everything yet. I haven’t had time. I know I’m in a new place. It doesn’t scare me—but it’s strange to me.”

Squeezing her hands, Carolyn peered anxiously into her face. “For a while I need to be…not with you. Or Paul, either.” She spoke her words slowly, as if each were being newly minted. “I need to be somewhere between you both. For a while. I need to be by myself. Maybe not for long, but for a while. Can you understand that?”

“Yes,” she answered.

It was far from the worst scenario. Immeasurably better than her belief of these past days that she had lost Carolyn irrevocably. “I’ll be here,” she said. “For whatever you want, anything you need.”

Carolyn rubbed Val’s hands between hers. “As long as I know that.” Then she said softly, “I have something to show you.”

She pulled a sheet from the sketch pad lying on the coffee table. Val held the edges between her palms and studied the drawing.

A series of finely drawn links were interlocked in a curving, delicate chain, appearing to rise from the bottom to the top of the paper. The links at the bottom were subtly shaded but distinct, darkening as the chain rose toward the center of the page. The shading of the links briefly varied between dark and light, then gradually and uniformly darkened until there were two links of solid black. The chain then dissolved into whiteness.

“Pure emotion,” Val mused, “locked into itself, blocking out everything. Wavering, then gaining strength. Most powerful at the two black links. Ending suddenly.”

“You’re so good.” Carolyn was smiling but her eyes were shy. “It’s sensation rather than emotion. I was trying to show how I felt you.” Her fingers traced over the drawing. “How you took everything away except feeling you. I felt you more and more, then it changed a little. Then it became strong and perfect. Stronger, then strongest.” She paused. “I tried to keep it longer but it was gone.”

Val cleared her throat. “Was it a particular time?”

“My first.” Carolyn’s voice was quiet, uninflected.

Her first? Did she mean…She was too orgasmic, she couldn’t mean…Val asked, “May I have this?”

“Yes, if you want it.”

“I want it. Sign it.”

Carolyn took the drawing to the desk, signed it with a pencil, handed it to her. Val looked at the signature: CARRIE in tiny letters in the lower corner.

Carolyn said, “I’ll give you this in exchange for the sketch pad I borrowed. I found six drawings of me in it.”

“I didn’t realize you took…that’s the pad with…”

She looked at Carolyn, remembering, heat flowing through her body. Carolyn held her gaze. Desire, thick and sweet and heavy, hung between them.

“You asked me once to humor you,” Carolyn said huskily. “Now do that for me.”

***

Val pushed off the wall at the deep end of the pool, glided to the bottom and somersaulted. Arms extended, she floated to the surface, cool currents sluicing deliciously against her bare breasts, her thighs. Drawing breath deeply into her, she submerged again, twisting, turning, stroking her breasts and thighs, intoxicated by the sensuality of her body.

She surfaced at the shallow end close to Carolyn, who clung to the wall gently flutter-kicking currents up around her own nude body. Val sidestroked over to her, reveling in her litheness; water was the one place where she never felt awkward. She flung her hair out of her eyes and said in exhilaration, “I love you Carrie; don’t ever be afraid that I love you.”

“Nothing about you frightens me; not anymore.”

The voice was quiet. Cool hands slid over Val’s shoulders, caressing, smoothing the water off. Carolyn said, “I think this may be my favorite place on you.” Her lips were soft and warm, kissing across Val’s shoulders; the cool hands slid down over her back. “I love your strength. I’ve always loved watching you walk, swim…do the most ordinary things.”

Carolyn took her hands, entwined their fingers. “I love your hands. I love watching you fix things…when you work with your hands…”

She drew Carolyn to her, held her, needing her substantiality; she felt a giving way within herself, a dismantling.

Carolyn said, “I remember seeing great statues of women in a park when I was small…and loving them.” Her hands, featherlight, caressed down Val’s hips; her lips brushed Val’s throat. “I think I loved women even before that. I think I’ve always wanted to be loved by a woman, a woman like you. I can’t imagine making love with a woman more beautiful than you.”

She could not reply; she was helpless from these inconceivable words.

Carolyn’s body was sinuous against her, Carolyn’s warm lips moved down her, to her breasts. Val shuddered as a nipple, cold and rock-hard from the water currents, was taken and warmly savored.

Carolyn took the other nipple into her, the soft tongue slowly stroking, and Val gripped the edge of the pool. Carolyn touched between her legs; Val’s body tensed to rigidity as a fingertip began its own slow strokes.

Groaning from her sensations, Val seized Carolyn’s hips, pulling them into her. Carolyn’s arms slid around her, Carolyn’s mouth was under hers. Dimly aware of the growing turbulence in the water around them, she pressed Carolyn fully up into her in rising ecstasy, rotating the rich flesh clasped in her hands, her tongue pulsing in the softness of Carolyn’s mouth as if it were the satin between her legs. The first spasms shook her; “Carrie,” she moaned, and was engulfed in orgasm.

Naked, they lay inches apart on towels spread over the grass. “God, I want you,” Carolyn said.

“I tried,” Val reminded her. “You stopped me.”

“I want this.” Carolyn touched a corner of Val’s lips, traced over them. “But not wet hair.”

“Let me wrap it in a towel, Carrie,” she whispered, aching to love the woman so tantalizingly close to her.

“I want to feel your hair; I want everything. It should dry fast in the sun.”

Val ran her fingers impatiently through the crown of her hair. “Soon.”

Carolyn said, “I bought Summer Sunrise.”

“Susan told me. After you left last night. I was surprised. You’re becoming a woman of wonderful impulses,” she teased.

“Paul didn’t even fuss very much. I think he’s learned to roll with the punches. Except for the one that’s coming,” she added, her eyes suddenly remote.

Val regretted the change of mood, the deflection of Carolyn’s thoughts from her. But she asked, “What’ll you say to him?” Surely nothing about their own relationship…

Carolyn said somberly, “Only that I want a separation.”

Val realized that her hatred of Paul Blake had extinguished without a wisp of smoke. Her one concern was Carolyn’s pain. “When will you tell him? Have you decided?”

Carolyn’s face was grave. “I haven’t thought any of this through, Val. My instinct is to tell him now. If I wait he’ll misread it to mean the trouble between us is healing. He loves me so much. If I delay, if I think about it…”

Dwelling on this now would cause Carolyn’s resolve to begin weakening immediately. Better to speak as if she assumed Carolyn would carry through her intention. “I understand why you won’t move in with Neal and me. But you need a place—”

“I’ll find one, it won’t take long. I can afford decent rent. I have a good job; I’m entitled to part of our savings…”

Carolyn looked away. “Know something? I’ve never been alone. I lived with Mother and then I married Paul.” Her eyes met Val’s again; they were lighted with eagerness. She said cautiously, as if in guilt that she had allowed herself such anticipation, “Maybe I’ll hate it.”

“You might—but it’ll be good for you,” Val assured her emphatically. “Everyone should be alone for a time in their lives.” She grinned. “Just don’t like it too much. I can visit once in a while, can’t I?”

Carolyn’s smile was quick and flirtatious; her gaze drifted down Val’s body. “Once in a while. I’ll have a rule in my new place. Certain visitors must leave their clothes at the door.”

Val laughed. “A terrific rule.” She was enjoying Carolyn’s growing boldness.

They lay quietly, looking at each other. Val felt weak with her want, a sensation containing none of the helplessness she had known in the pool, and purely pleasurable.

Carolyn’s eyes were heavy-lidded. “Your hair’s dry enough,” she whispered. “Let’s go in.”

The painting in the guest room cast its warm colors over the room.

“Until I take it with me,” Carolyn said huskily, “it stays in here.”

“I love it being in here. I love you having it.” Val turned to her. Carolyn raised a hand for silence, her head cocked to listen. After a moment Val asked, “What did you hear?”

“I don’t know. A metallic sound. From the garage, I think.” “I’ll check.”

“No, it’s just a cat, I’m sure. They jump onto the garage roof all the time,” she breathed as Val took her into her arms. “The neighborhood is full of…She closed her eyes. “Val,” she whispered.

Val lifted her onto the bed. Her body poised over her, she gently kissed her face and explored the exquisite breasts, the tender body arching in her slow savoring hands. A hand cradling Carolyn’s head, she brought Carolyn’s mouth to hers and lowered her body onto her. Carolyn moaned, and seized her. Carolyn arched again to the quickening strokes of Val’s tongue in her, as Val’s hand cupped and caressed in sweet soft damp. Carolyn moaned her want; Carolyn’s arms released her. Blood pounded in Val’s ears as she moved down, between the soft open thighs.

Date: 2015-02-03; view: 517