ARTICLE 43

A Bro loves his country, unless that country isn't America.

ARTICLE 44

A Bro never applies sunscreen to another Bro.

EXCEPTION: If the Bros are within 7 degrees latitude of the equator.

ARTICLE 45

A Bro never wears jeans to a strip club.

WHY A BRO NEVER WEARS JEANS TO A STRIP CLUB

1. Cloth pockets are roomier and more elastic, allowing for a thicker wad of cash.

2. Denim clashes with a club's leopard, zebra, or other safari animal motif.

3. One word, two syllables, three hours in the ER: zipper.

4. It's a performance, and deserves respect. These erotic dancers have practiced tirelessly on a technically demanding piece of choreographed art. Would you wear dungarees to a ballet?[8]

5. You don't feel it as much on your kazoo.

ARTICLE 46

If a Bro is seated next to some dude who's stuck in the middle seat on an airplane, he shall yield him all of their shared armrest, unless the dude has (a) taken his shoes off, (b) is snoring, (c) makes the Bro get up more than once to use the lavatory, or (d) purchased headphones after they announced the in-flight movie is 27 Dresses. See Article 35.

ARTICLE 47

A Bro never wears pink

Not even in Europe.

ARTICLE 48

A Bro never publicly reveals how many chicks he's banged.

COROLLARY: A Bro also never reveals how many chicks another Bro has banged.

When a chick meets a Bro, there are three things she wants to know:

1. How much money does he make?

2. Is he shorter than her?

3. How many chicks has he banged?

Eventually, she will figure out the first two, but a Bro never answers. the third question. If, however, a Bro feels compelled to answer (i.e., sex is being withheld until he supplies a tally), he can calculate an acceptable number using the following formula:

HOW MANY CHICKS IS IT SAFE FOR A BRO TO SAY HE'S BANGED?

n = (a /10 + s )⁰ + 5

n = number of chicks

a = Bro's age

s = inquiring chick's slut factor (1 = nun, 10 = former nun)

Date: 2014-12-21; view: 897