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TO VIVIEN GREENE

Eyre & Spottiswoode | 14, 15, 16 Bedford Street | Strand, London, W.C.2 | June 3 [1948]

Dear Vivien,

Thank you very much for your note about the book.49It was sweet of you to send it.

I have to fly over to New York in connexion with the Heart of the Matter affair on Sunday & I am flying back the following Saturday. Then a few days after my return I have to go with Carol Reed to Vienna to help arrange for the film of ‘The Third Man’ – the story I wrote for Korda in Italy.

If possible I think we should discuss matters before I leave for Vienna, though I don’t expect to be away more than ten days. What I suggest is that you read this letter while I am in New York & if you would like to discuss it, I would either meet you in London or Oxford, whichever you prefer.

I hope before I leave for Vienna to have taken a flat by myself in London, so that the present set-up in Gordon Square will be materially altered, though I am trying, if it’s humanly possible, to save some relationship there.

You know I am fond of you. Quite apart from that I am aware of the responsibilities I owe you & the children. But, mainly through my fault, we have lived for years too far from reality, & the fact that has to be faced, dear, is that by my nature, my selfishness, even in some degree by my profession, I should always, & with anyone, have been a bad husband. I think, you see, my restlessness, moods, melancholia, even my outside relationships, are symptoms of a disease & not the disease itself, & the disease, which has been going on ever since my childhood & was only temporarily alleviated by psycho-analysis, lies in a character profoundly antagonistic to ordinary domestic life. Unfortunately the disease is also one’s material. Cure the disease & I doubt whether a writer would remain. I daresay that would be all to the good.50

For nearly nine years, as you know, I have had a second domestic life in London, but the fact that that has been without the ties & responsibilities of a husband has not made it any more of a success. I have failed there just as completely as at Oxford, so that especially during the last four years, though the strain began much earlier, I have caused her a great deal of misery.

So you see I really feel the hopelessness of sharing a life with anyone without causing them unhappiness & disillusion – if they have any illusions. If you feel that a life is possible for us in which, though Oxford is my headquarters, there are no conditions, no guarantees or time tables laid down for either of us (you will have more liberty yourself soon), then let us try it. But, my dear, if as you reasonably may, you feel this arrangement (or lack of an arrangement) would only make for more misery, then I think we had better have an open separation which will be less of a problem & nerve-strain for both of us than the disguised separation is now. The financial arrangements would be agreed between us, & I would see the children sometimes during their holidays: that could be discussed later. This could be a legal separation or not as you chose, but on my side I see no reason why we should not correspond directly on any problems that might arise, & I would always be only too anxious to meet you at any time.



With affection,
Graham


Date: 2015-02-03; view: 648


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