THE RETURN

D`Artagnan was astounded by the terrible confidence of Athos; yet

many things appeared very obscure to him in this half revelation.

In the first place it had been made by a man quite drunk to one

who was half drunk; and yet, in spite of the incertainty which

the vapor of three or four bottles of Burgundy carries with it to

the brain, D`Artagnan, when awaking on the following morning, had

all the words of Athos as present to his memory as if they then

fell from his mouth--they had been so impressed upon his mind.

All this doubt only gave rise to a more lively desire of arriving

at a certainty, and he went into his friend`s chamber with a

fixed determination of renewing the conversation of the preceding

evening; but he found Athos quite himself again--that is to say,

the most shrewd and impenetrable of men. Besides which, the

Musketeer, after having exchanged a hearty shake of the hand with

him, broached the matter first.

"I was pretty drunk yesterday, D`Artagnan," said he, "I can tell

that by my tongue, which was swollen and hot this morning, and by

my pulse, which was very tremulous. I wager that I uttered a

thousand extravagances."

While saying this he looked at his friend with an earnestness

that embarrassed him.

"No," replied D`Artagnan, "if I recollect well what you said, it

was nothing out of the common way."

"Ah, you surprise me. I thought I had told you a most lamentable

story." And he looked at the young man as if he would read the

bottom of his heart.

"My faith," said D`Artagnan, "it appears that I was more drunk

than you, since I remember nothing of the kind."

Athos did not trust this reply, and he resumed; "you cannot have

failed to remark, my dear friend, that everyone has his

particular kind of drunkenness, sad or gay. My drunkenness is

always sad, and when I am thoroughly drunk my mania is to relate

all the lugubrious stories which my foolish nurse inculcated into

my brain. That is my failing--a capital failing, I admit; but

with that exception, I am a good drinker."

Athos spoke this in so natural a manner that D`Artagnan was

shaken in his conviction.

"It is that, then," replied the young man, anxious to find out

the truth, "it is that, then, I remember as we remember a dream.

We were speaking of hanging."

"Ah, you see how it is," said Athos, becoming still paler, but

yet attempting to laugh; "I was sure it was so--the hanging of

people is my nightmare."

"Yes, yes," replied D`Artagnan. "I remember now; yes, it was

about--stop a minute--yes, it was about a woman."

"That`s it," replied Athos, becoming almost livid; "that is my

grand story of the fair lady, and when I relate that, I must be

very drunk."

"Yes, that was it," said D`Artagnan, "the story of a tall, fair

lady, with blue eyes."

"Yes, who was hanged."

"By her husband, who was a nobleman of your acquaintance,"

continued D`Artagnan, looking intently at Athos.

"Well, you see how a man may compromise himself when he does not

know what he says," replied Athos, shrugging his shoulders as if

he thought himself an object of pity. "I certainly never will

get drunk again, D`Artagnan; it is too bad a habit."

D`Artagnan remained silent; and then changing the conversation

all at once, Athos said:

"By the by, I thank you for the horse you have brought me."

"Is it to your mind?" asked D`Artagnan.

"Yes; but it is not a horse for hard work."

"you are mistaken; I rode him nearly ten leagues in less than an

hour and a half, and he appeared no more distressed than if he

had only made the tour of the Place St. Sulpice."

"Ah, you begin to awaken my regret."

"Regret?"

"Yes; I have parted with him."

"How?"

"Why, here is the simple fact. This morning I awoke at six

o`clock. You were still fast asleep, and I did not know what to

do with myself; I was still stupid from our yesterday`s debauch.

As I came into the public room, I saw one of our Englishman

bargaining with a dealer for a horse, his own having died

yesterday from bleeding. I drew near, and found he was bidding a

hundred pistoles for a chestnut nag. `PARDIEU,` said I, `my good

gentleman, I have a horse to sell, too.` `Ay, and a very fine

one! I saw him yesterday; your friend`s lackey was leading him.`

`Do you think he is worth a hundred pistoles?` `Yes! Will you

sell him to me for that sum?` `No; but I will play for him.`

`What?` `At dice.` No sooner said than done, and I lost the

horse. Ah, ah! But please to observe I won back the equipage,`

cried Athos.

D`Artagnan looked much disconcerted.

"This vexes you?" said Athos.

"Well, I must confess it does," replied D`Artagnan. "That horse

was to have identified us in the day of battle. It was a pledge,

a remembrance. Athos, you have done wrong."

"But, my dear friend, put yourself in my place," replied the

Musketeer. "I was hipped to death; and still further, upon my

honor, I don`t like English horses. If it is only to be

recognized, why the saddle will suffice for that; it is quite

remarkable enough. As to the horse, we can easily find some

excuse for its disappearance. Why the devil! A horse is mortal;

suppose mine had had the glanders or the farcy?"

D`Artagnan did not smile.

"It vexes me greatly," continued Athos, "that you attach so much

importance to these animals, for I am not yet at the end of my

story."

"What else have you done."

"After having lost my own horse, nine against ten--see how near--

I formed an idea of staking yours."

"Yes; but you stopped at the idea, I hope?"

"No; for I put it in execution that very minute."

"And the consequence?" said D`Artagnan, in great anxiety.

"I threw, and I lost."

"What, my horse?"

"Your horse, seven against eight; a point short--you know the

proverb."

"Athos, you are not in your right senses, I swear."

"My dear lad, that was yesterday, when I was telling you silly

stories, it was proper to tell me that, and not this morning. I

lost him then, with all his appointments and furniture."

"Really, this is frightful."

"Stop a minute; you don`t know all yet. I should make an

excellent gambler if I were not too hot-headed; but I was hot-

headed, just as if I had been drinking. Well, I was not hot-

headed then--"

"Well, but what else could you play for? You had nothing left?"

`Oh, yes, my friend; there was still that diamond left which

sparkles on your finger, and which I had observed yesterday."

"This diamond!" said D`Artagnan, placing his hand eagerly on his

ring.

"And as I am a connoisseur in such things, having had a few of my

own once, I estimated it at a thousand pistoles."

"I hope," said D`Artagnan, half dead with fright, "you made no

mention of my diamond?"

"On the contrary, my dear friend, this diamond became our only

resource; with it I might regain our horses and their harnesses,

and even money to pay our expenses on the road."

"Athos, you make me tremble!" cried D`Artagnan.

"I mentioned your diamond then to my adversary, who had likewise

remarked it. What the devil, my dear, do you think you can wear

a star from heaven on your finger, and nobody observe it?

Impossible!"

"Go on, go on, my dear fellow!" said D`Artagnan; "for upon my

honor, you will kill me with your indifference."

"We divided, then, this diamond into ten parts of a hundred

pistoles each."

"You are laughing at me, and want to try me!" said D`Artagnan,

whom anger began to take by the hair, as Minerva takes Achilles,

in the ILLIAD.

"No, I do not jest, MORDIEU! I should like to have seen you in

my place! I had been fifteen days without seeing a human face,

and had been left to brutalize myself in the company of bottles."

"That was no reason for staking my diamond!" replied D`Artagnan,

closing his hand with a nervous spasm.

"Hear the end. Ten parts of a hundred pistoles each, in ten

throws, without revenge; in thirteen throws I had lost all--in

thirteen throws. The number thirteen was always fatal to me; it

was on the thirteenth of July that--"

"VENTREBLEU!" cried D`Artagnan, rising from the table, the story

of the present day making him forget that of the preceding one.

"Patience!" said Athos; "I had a plan. The Englishman was an

original; I had seen him conversing that morning with Grimaud,

and Grimaud had told me that he had made him proposals to enter

into his service. I staked Grimaud, the silent Grimaud, divided

into ten portions."

"Well, what next?" said D`Artagnan, laughing in spite of himself.

"Grimaud himself, understand; and with the ten parts of Grimaud,

which are not worth a ducatoon, I regained the diamond. Tell me,

now, if persistence is not a virtue?"

"My faith! But this is droll," cried D`Artagnan, consoled, and

holding his sides with laughter.

"You may guess, finding the luck turned, that I again staked the

diamond."

"The devil!" said D`Artagnan, becoming angry again.

"I won back your harness, then your horse, then my harness, then

my horse, and then I lost again. In brief, I regained your

harness and then mine. That`s where we are. That was a superb

throw, so I left off there."

D`Artagnan breathed as if the whole hostelry had been removed

from his breast.

"Then the diamond is safe?" said he, timidly.

"Intact, my dear friend; besides the harness of your Bucephalus

and mine."

"But what is the use of harnesses without horses?"

"I have an idea about them."

"Athos, you make me shudder."

"Listen to me. You have not played for a long time, D`Artagnan."

"And I have no inclination to play."

"Swear to nothing. You have not played for a long time, I said;

you ought, then, to have a good hand."

"Well, what then?"

"Well; the Englishman and his companion are still here. I

remarked that he regretted the horse furniture very much. You

appear to think much of your horse. In your place I would stake

the furniture against the horse."

"But he will not wish for only one harness."

"Stake both, PARDIEU! I am not selfish, as you are."

"You would do so?" said D`Artagnan, undecided, so strongly did

the confidence of Athos begin to prevail, in spite of himself.

"On my honor, in one single throw."

"But having lost the horses, I am particularly anxious to

preserve the harnesses."

"Stake your diamond, then."

"This? That`s another matter. Never, never!"

"The devil!" said Athos. "I would propose to you to stake

Planchet, but as that has already been done, the Englishman would

not, perhaps, be willing."

"Decidedly, my dear Athos," said D`Artagnan, "I should like

better not to risk anything."

"That`s a pity," said Athos, cooly. "The Englishman is

overflowing with pistoles. Good Lord, try one throw! One throw

is soon made!"

"And if I lose?"

"You will win."

"But if I lose?"

"Well, you will surrender the harnesses."

"Have with you for one throw!" said D`Artagnan.

Athos went in quest of the Englishman, whom he found in the

stable, examining the harnesses with a greedy eye. The

opportunity was good. He proposed the conditions--the two

harnesses, either against one horse or a hundred pistoles. The

Englishman calculated fast; the two harnesses were worth three

hundred pistoles. He consented.

D`Artagnan threw the dice with a trembling hand, and turned up

the number three; his paleness terrified Athos, who, however,

consented himself with saying, "That`s a sad throw, comrade; you

will have the horses fully equipped, monsieur."

The Englishman, quite triumphant, did not even give himself the

trouble to shake the dice. He threw them on the table without

looking at them, so sure was he of victory; D`Artagnan turned

aside to conceal his ill humor.

"Hold, hold, hold!" said Athos, wit his quiet tone; "that throw

of the dice is extraordinary. I have not seen such a one four

times in my life. Two aces!"

The Englishman looked, and was seized with astonishment.

D`Artagnan looked, and was seized with pleasure.

"Yes," continued Athos, "four times only; once at the house of

Monsieur Crequy; another time at my own house in the country, in

my chateau at--when I had a chateau; a third time at Monsieur de

Treville`s where it surprised us all; and the fourth time at a

cabaret, where it fell to my lot, and where I lost a hundred

louis and a supper on it."

"Then Monsieur takes his horse back again," said the Englishman.

"Certainly," said D`Artagnan.

"Then there is no revenge?"

"Our conditions said, `No revenge,` you will please to

recollect."

"That is true; the horse shall be restored to your lackey,

monsieur."

"A moment," said Athos; "with your permission, monsieur, I wish

to speak a word with my friend."

"Say on."

Athos drew D`Artagnan aside.

"Well, Tempter, what more do you want with me?" said D`Artagnan.

"You want me to throw again, do you not?"

"No, I would wish you to reflect."

"On what?"

"You mean to take your horse?"

"Without doubt."

"You are wrong, then. I would take the hundred pistoles. You

know you have staked the harnesses against the horse or a hundred

pistoles, at your choice."

"Yes."

"Well, then, I repeat, you are wrong. What is the use of one

horse for us two? I could not ride behind. We should look like

the two sons of Anmon, who had lost their brother. You cannot

think of humiliating me by prancing along by my side on that

magnificent charger. For my part, I should not hesitate a

moment; I should take the hundred pistoles. We want money for

our return to Paris."

"I am much attached to that horse, Athos."

"And there again you are wrong. A horse slips and injures a

joint; a horse stumbles and breaks his knees to the bone; a horse

eats out of a manger in which a glandered horse has eaten. There

is a horse, while on the contrary, the hundred pistoles feed

their master."

"But how shall we get back?"

"Upon our lackey`s horses, PARDIEU. Anybody may see by our

bearing that we are people of condition."

"Pretty figures we shall cut on ponies while Aramis and Porthos

caracole on their steeds."

"Aramis! Porthos!" cried Athos, and laughed aloud.

"What is it?" asked D`Artagnan, who did not at all comprehend the

hilarity of his friend.

"Nothing, nothing! Go on!"

"Your advice, then?"

"To take the hundred pistoles, D`Artagnan. With the hundred

pistoles we can live well to the end of the month. We have

undergone a great deal of fatigue, remember, and a little rest

will do no harm."

"I rest? Oh, no, Athos. Once in Paris, I shall prosecute my

search for that unfortunate woman!"

"Well, you may be assured that your horse will not be half so

serviceable to you for that purpose as good golden louis. Take

the hundred pistoles, my friend; take the hundred pistoles!"

D`Artagnan only required one reason to be satisfied. This last

reason appeared convincing. Besides, he feared that by resisting

longer he should appear selfish in the eyes of Athos. He

acquiesced, therefore, and chose the hundred pistoles, which the

Englishman paid down on the spot.

They then determined to depart. Peace with the landlord, in

addition to Athos`s old horse, cost six pistoles. D`Artagnan and

Athos took the nags of Planchet and Grimaud, and the two lackeys

started on foot, carrying the saddles on their heads.

However ill our two friends were mounted, they were soon far in

advance of their servants, and arrived at Creveccoeur. From a

distance they perceived Aramis, seated in a melancholy manner at

his window, looking out, like Sister Anne, at the dust in the

horizon.

"HOLA, Aramis! What the devil are you doing there?" cried the

two friends.

"Ah, is that you, D`Artagnan, and you, Athos?" said the young

man. "I was reflecting upon the rapidity with which the

blessings of this world leave us. My English horse, which has

just disappeared amid a cloud of dust, has furnished me with a

living image of the fragility of the things of the earth. Life

itself may be resolved into three words: ERAT, EST, FUIT."

"Which means--" said D`Artagnan, who began to suspect the truth.

"Which means that I have just been duped-sixty louis for a horse

which by the manner of his gait can do at least five leagues an

hour."

D`Artagnan and Athos laughed aloud.

"My dear D`Artagnan," said Aramis, "don`t be too angry with me, I

beg. Necessity has no law; besides, I am the person punished, as

that rascally horsedealer has robbed me of fifty louis, at least.

Ah, you fellows are good managers! You ride on our lackey`s

horses, and have your own gallant steeds led along carefully by

hand, at short stages."

At the same instant a market cart, which some minutes before had

appeared upon the Amiens road, pulled up at the inn, and Planchet

and Grimaud came out of it with the saddles on their heads. The

cart was returning empty to Paris, and the two lackeys had

agreed, for their transport, to slake the wagoner`s thirst along

the route.

"What is this?" said Aramis, on seeing them arrive. "Nothing but

saddles?"

"Now do you understand?" said Athos.

"My friends, that`s exactly like me! I retained my harness by

instinct. HOLA, Bazin! Bring my new saddle and carry it along

with those of these gentlemen."

"And what have you done with your ecclesiastics?" asked

D`Artagnan.

"My dear fellow, I invited them to a dinner the next day,"

replied Aramis. "They have some capital wine here-please to

observe that in passing. I did my best to make them drunk. Then

the curate forbade me to quit my uniform, and the Jesuit

entreated me to get him made a Musketeer."

"Without a thesis?" cried D`Artagnan, "without a thesis? I

demand the suppression of the thesis."

"Since then," continued Aramis, "I have lived very agreeably. I

have begun a poem in verses of one syllable. That is rather

difficult, but the merit in all things consists in the

difficulty. The matter is gallant. I will read you the first

canto. It has four hundred lines, and lasts a minute."

"My faith, my dear Aramis," said D`Artagnan, who detested verses

almost as much as he did Latin, "add to the merit of the

difficulty that of the brevity, and you are sure that your poem

will at least have two merits."

"You will see," continued Aramis, "that it breathes

irreproachable passion. And so, my friends, we return to Paris?

Bravo! I am ready. We are going to rejoin that good fellow,

Porthos. So much the better. You can`t think how I have missed

him, the great simpleton. To see him so self-satisfied

reconciles me with myself. He would not sell his horse; not for

a kingdom! I think I can see him now, mounted upon his superb

animal and seated in his handsome saddle. I am sure he will look

like the Great Mogul!"

They made a halt for an hour to refresh their horses. Aramis

discharged his bill, placed Bazin in the cart with his comrades,

and they set forward to join Porthos.

They found him up, less pale than when D`Artagnan left him after

his first visit, and seated at a table on which, though he was

alone, was spread enough for four persons. This dinner consisted

of meats nicely dressed, choice wines, and superb fruit.

"Ah, PARDIEU!" said he, rising, "you come in the nick of time,

gentlemen. I was just beginning the soup, and you will dine with

me."

"Oh, oh!" said D`Artagnan, "Mousqueton has not caught these

bottles with his lasso. Besides, here is a piquant FRICANDEAU

and a fillet of beef."

"I am recruiting myself," said Porthos, "I am recruiting myself.

Nothing weakens a man more than these devilish strains. Did you

ever suffer from a strain, Athos?"

"Never! Though I remember, in our affair of the Rue Ferou, I

received a sword wound which at the end of fifteen or eighteen

days produced the same effect."

"But this dinner was not intended for you alone, Porthos?" said

Aramis.

"No," said Porthos, "I expected some gentlemen of the

neighborhood, who have just sent me word they could not come.

You will take their places and I shall not lose by the exchange.

HOLA, Mousqueton, seats, and order double the bottles!"

"Do you know what we are eating here?" said Athos, at the end of

ten minutes.

"PARDIEU!" replied D`Artagnan, "for my part, I am eating veal

garnished with shrimps and vegetables."

"And I some lamb chops," said Porthos.

"And I a plain chicken," said Aramis.

"You are all mistaken, gentlemen," answered Athos, gravely; "you

are eating horse."

"Eating what?" said D`Artagnan.

"Horse!" said Aramis, with a grimace of disgust.

Porthos alone made no reply.

"Yes, horse. Are we not eating a horse, Porthos? And perhaps

his saddle, therewith."

"No, gentlemen, I have kept the harness," said Porthos.

"My faith," said Aramis, "we are all alike. One would think we

had tipped the wink."

"What could I do?" said Porthos. "This horse made my visitors

ashamed of theirs, and I don`t like to humiliate people."

"Then your duchess is still at the waters?" asked D`Artagnan.

"Still," replied Porthos. "And, my faith, the governor of the

province--one of the gentlemen I expected today--seemed to have

such a wish for him, that I gave him to him."

"Gave him?" cried D`Artagnan.

"My God, yes, GAVE, that is the word," said Porthos; "for the

animal was worth at least a hundred and fifty louis, and the

stingy fellow would only give me eighty."

"Without the saddle?" said Aramis.

"Yes, without the saddle."

"You will observe, gentlemen," said Athos, "that Porthos has made

the best bargain of any of us."

And then commenced a roar of laughter in which they all joined,

to the astonishment of poor Porthos; but when he was informed of

the cause of their hilarity, he shared it vociferously according

to his custom.

"There is one comfort, we are all in cash," said D`Artagnan.

"Well, for my part," said Athos, "I found Aramis`s Spanish wine

so good that I sent on a hamper of sixty bottles of it in the

wagon with the lackeys. That has weakened my purse."

"And I," said Aramis, "imagined that I had given almost my last

sou to the church of Montdidier and the Jesuits of Amiens, with

whom I had made engagements which I ought to have kept. I have

ordered Masses for myself, and for you, gentlemen, which will be

said, gentlemen, for which I have not the least doubt you will be

marvelously benefited."

"And I," said Porthos, "do you think my strain cost me nothing?--

without reckoning Mousqueton`s wound, for which I had to have the

surgeon twice a day, and who charged me double on account of that

foolish Mousqueton having allowed himself a ball in a part which

people generally only show to an apothecary; so I advised him to

try never to get wounded there any more."

"Ay, ay!" said Athos, exchanging a smile with D`Artagnan and

Aramis, "it is very clear you acted nobly with regard to the poor

lad; that is like a good master."

"In short," said Porthos, "when all my expenses are paid, I shall

have, at most, thirty crowns left."

"And I about ten pistoles," said Aramis.

"Well, then it appears that we are the Croesuses of the society.

How much have you left of your hundred pistoles, D`Artagnan.?"

"Of my hundred pistoles? Why, in the first place I gave you

fifty."

"You think so?"

"PARDIEU!"

"Ah, that is true. I recollect."

"Then I paid the host six."

"What a brute of a host! Why did you give him six pistoles?"

"You told me to give them to him."

"It is true; I am too good-natured. In brief, how much remains?"

"Twenty-five pistoles," said D`Artagnan.

"And I," said Athos, taking some small change from his pocket,

I--"

"You? Nothing!"

"My faith! So little that it is not worth reckoning with the

general stock."

"Now, then, let us calculate how much we posses in all."

"Porthos?"

"Thirty crowns."

"Aramis?"

"Ten pistoles."

"And you, D`Artagnan?"

"Twenty-five."

"That makes in all?" said Athos.

"Four hundred and seventy-five livres," said D`Artagnan, who

reckoned like Archimedes.

"On our arrival in Paris, we shall still have four hundred,

besides the harnesses," said Porthos.

"But our troop horses?" said Aramis.

"Well, of the four horses of our lackeys we will make two for the

masters, for which we will draw lots. With the four hundred

livres we will make the half of one for one of the unmounted, and

then we will give the turnings out of our pockets to D`Artagnan,

who has a steady hand, and will go and play in the first gaming

house we come to. There!"

"Let us dine, then," said Porthos; "it is getting cold."

The friends, at ease with regard to the future, did honor to the

repast, the remains of which were abandoned to Mousqueton, Bazin,

Planchet, and Grimaud.

On arriving in Paris, D`Artagnan found a letter from M. de

Treville, which informed him that, at his request, the king had

promised that he should enter the company of the Musketeers.

As this was the height of D`Artagnan`s worldly ambition--apart,

be it well understood, from his desire of finding Mme.

Bonacieux--he ran, full of joy, to seek his comrades, whom he had

left only half an hour before, but whom he found very sad and

deeply preoccupied. They were assembled in council at the

residence of Athos, which always indicated an event of some

gravity. M. de Treville had intimated to them his Majesty`s

fixed intention to open the campaign on the first of May, and

they must immediately prepare their outfits.

The four philosophers looked at one another in a state of

bewilderment. M. de Treville never jested in matters relating to

discipline.

"And what do you reckon your outfit will cost?" said D`Artagnan.

"Oh, we can scarcely say. We have made our calculations with

Spartan economy, and we each require fifteen hundred livres."

"Four times fifteen makes sixty--six thousand livres," said

Athos.

"It seems to me," said D`Artagnan, "with a thousand livres each--

I do not speak as a Spartan, but as a procurator--"

This word PROCURATOR roused Porthos. "Stop," said he, "I have an

idea."

"Well, that`s something, for I have not the shadow of one," said

Athos cooly; "but as to D`Artagnan, gentlemen, the idea of

belonging to OURS has driven him out of his senses. A thousand

livres! For my part, I declare I want two thousand."

"Four times two makes eight," then said Aramis; "it is eight

thousand that we want to complete our outfits, toward which, it

is true, we have already the saddles."

"Besides," said Athos, waiting till D`Artagnan, who went to thank

Monsieur de Treville, had shut the door, "besides, there is that

beautiful ring which beams from the finger of our friend. What

the devil! D`Artagnan is too good a comrade to leave his

brothers in embarrassment while he wears the ransom of a king on

his finger."

Date: 2015-01-29; view: 657